Chapter 54
Dragon 9:35 Nublis/Drakonis The West Road [Present]
"Following my conversation with Ser Maron I went back into the Chantry while Charbelle made her preparations to leave. As I have said, I am not an especially devout person but the Templars' improvised service and Ser Bryant's rich, deep voice moved me like no other has since… Ser Maron had to shake me pretty hard to awaken me from my reverie.
"Our farewells on the doorstep of the Chantry and in the chill night were very tearful. Especially as between Ser Maron and Charbelle. I almost felt like an intruder. However, Ser Maron as a final flourish produced a large woollen Templar's cloak and draped it around my shoulders. In the circumstances, it was one of the most useful gifts I have ever received. I keep that cloak in Highever to this day, stained, worn and moth-eaten though it may be through four years' usage. He kissed me on the cheek and told me to stay safe.
"Barlin I must say I didn't care for overmuch. He seemed self-centred and somewhat stingy but sweet-tempered Charbelle spent much of that night weeping in my arms and asking me to assure her that the Templars would be secure. An assurance I could not give.
"I woke the following day when the cart gave a particularly nasty jolt. I was not aware I had fallen asleep. On looking to the west, I saw a large column of smoke; I jumped off the cart and ran to the edge of the highway where shortly Charbelle joined me. We were both crying, too stunned to even embrace, Barlin cursed us and said that if we did not get back onto the cart he would leave us for the horde…
"There is not much else to tell on that, everybody was mostly fleeing in the same direction even the bandits, mercenaries and highwaymen it would seem.
"At one point Charbelle asked me innocently if it was true that I was really Lady Cousland because apparently Ser Maron had assured her I was. I suspected that this was another ruse on the Templar's part to convince her to travel with me. I denied it of course, but I could see she didn't quite believe me.
"Barlin scoffed at the question and said that I was just a passing wench who had dropped her knickers for a Templar, Charbelle looked mortified; that remark earned him a slap across the ears, although, in essence, it was probably the truth.
"When I dropped Charbelle off at Denerim Chantry she stood on tiptoe and put her arms around me and told me that we would be sisters forever and that one day she would help me as I had helped her and Maron. I made a good effort, I think, to suppress my scepticism.
"Barlin headed to the market district where he was going to stay with a cousin with barely a nod to me.
"Pulling up the hood of my new cape, I made haste to the poorest quarters where it was unlikely I would bump by chance into anyone I knew.
"That was my first and last experience of 'end of the world sex', Alistair. It was quite an exhilarating one."
Alistair was silent for a fair while, "Perhaps you should write that down one day, Rous," He said.
"And how would I sign it Alistair: 'As narrated by a wench who dropped her knickers for a Templar'?" For reasons she could not properly identify, Rous was suddenly furious. She tapped her heels against Hope and rode ahead.
Alistair promptly caught up with her, his horsemanship was improving by the day Rous thought, "You were mocking me, mocking me Alistair…," she complained.
"That's unwarranted, Rous… I did not intend to offend you, I was serious… Slow down and listen to me…" He reached for her bridle.
Rous slowed down. "What I meant was that no-one will otherwise recall those Templars, they gave their lives… for their fellow citizens, for those weaker than they… They deserve…" He paused for breath, "To be remembered."
"To be remembered." Echoed Rous some three hours later.
"Yes." Said Alistair "I wasn't mocking you…"
They were in a fairly comfortable, if simple, bedroom eating supper. The Innkeeper's wife had recognised Alistair and nearly fainted in her homely clogs. An offer of supper in their room had followed and been graciously accepted.
"Does that mean something to you, 'to be remembered'?
"Yes it does… I guess I will be remembered now, even if it is as the bastard wastrel king…" He smiled lopsidedly, "But not so long ago… I had no one. When Neriya saw me in the Fade… Hmm, that requires some explanation… At one point in our quest our party was mesmerised by a demon, each of us was trapped in his or her own dream that we thought was real. Each that was except for Neriya…"
Alistair looked down at his hands either side of his dish of roast rabbit with herbs. The Innkeeper's wife had excelled herself. He needed to remember to thank her tomorrow before their departure.
"Neriya who then had to rouse us and bring us back to reality. That's the sort of thing Neriya, Maker bless her, could do without even thinking about it… Well, anyway, in my dream I had a family of sorts, I was living with a woman whom I thought was my half-sister and her children… I told Neriya that I didn't want to return, I didn't want to spend all my life fighting only to end up dead in a pit full of rotting Darkspawn corpses…
"Not many Templars have families, neither do Grey Wardens, they live, they fight, they die and no-one mourns them usually. Perhaps a few of their brothers and sisters in arms might have a piss-up in their name, if they're lucky, but that's it. Gone, as if they never were in the first place… I like fighting, it's one of the things I was made for, but I always found that final fate difficult to accept."
"You want to be loved."
"That's trite, who doesn't want to be loved? We all do, don't we? No it was a little more than that, I wanted, WANT to be mourned… I want someone who loved me to miss me. There, I said it. Absolutely selfish."
Rous picked at her meal she seemed to be thinking things over.
"And Rous?"
"Yes Alistair?"
"I've come to a determination."
Rous looked at him expectantly.
"Rous, I won't make love to you until you know what you need to know about me… Then you can make up your own mind. That's only fair. And tomorrow… Oh Maker, don't hold it against me but there are things that it is much easier to show you than to explain…"
"But we can still kiss?" She said with some eagerness.
"Yes, we can kiss but… Not too much, otherwise it gets difficult…"
"And we can put our arms round each other."
"Yes, again…"
"Then we share the bed tonight."
"As you say… But…"
"In our undergarments." She added like a good girl. Alistair wasn't entirely sure he was convinced.
"Yes."
Rous seemed happy with those replies and started to eat her rabbit with some zest. "Alistair…" she said eventually.
"Yes, Rous?"
"Life is short." She said looking up.
"It is, but I may have used that excuse a little too often… I've worn it out by now. And there are still things you do not know about me."
"Tell me then…"
Alistair thought about that awhile, resting his chin on one hand while drumming the fingers of the other on the wood of the table.
Rous polished off the remainder of the sauce from the rabbit with a chunk of bread. Alistair guessed that eating everything that was put in front of her was a habit that she had acquired during the Blight. He used to do the same.
Alistair made up his mind. He rummaged inside his shirt for a moment and pulled out an amulet. "See here." He said holding it up to the light.
It seemed to be a tiny vial full of a liquid rust-coloured substance. "Hold it." He said.
She did and looking at his face curled her hand protectively around it as if she liked the feel of it.
"What is it?" She asked.
"My Grey Warden amulet."
"It looks like blood…" She said unfurling her hand.
"It is. Darkspawn blood and some other substances… Don't exactly know what, possibly some lyrium…"
Rous released the amulet immediately and wiped her hand on her clothing. Alistair laughed crossing his arms over his chest.
"Well, well…" He said, he was amused; he'd noticed Rous was not the kind of woman who was easily repelled by anything.
"I hate Darkspawn, can't abide them…" She explained.
"Remind me then never to invite you to a joining."
"A joining?"
"The initiation into the Wardens. It involves drinking Darkspawn blood; many die, about one in three."
"But that is—" For once words failed Rous.
"As it is." Alistair cut in.
"And you did that willingly?"
"I did."
"Why?"
"I wished to leave the Chantry. Wardens were needed to address a possible Blight. Neriya also underwent it." He tried to sound distanced and practical.
Rous shook her head. "I had no idea, no idea at all…"
"Not many people know. I trust you to keep this in confidence, Rous."
"I… But surely there must be consequences…" She faltered.
"There are."
Rous apparently gathered herself. "So tell me, Alistair."
He looked at her steadily, he thought she winced slightly. He said, "You get nightmares, especially when the Darkspawn are nearby or particularly active… Your appetite increases, insofar as I know all appetites increase…"
He studied her face with some care, she looked solemn. "It affects your fertility… It shortens your life. First, you may become overwhelmed by hallucinations, then, so I am told, it can actually start to affect you physically… Basically, we are tainted… a sort of slowly progressing taint… It's not contagious, by the way…"
"Alistair…" Rous's voice faltered, she seemed overcome with all the information he had given her.
"Yes, Rous?"
"How could you…" There was a tinge of reproach in her tone.
"As I said."
"I heard what you said, but, I… I really don't… You seem so full of life… So… Vibrant." Alistair smiled flattered at this description of himself and Rous paused again. "I'm a little angry with you, I think… That you did this to yourself…"
He tried to put it reasonably. "I've explained why, in the circumstances I saw it as my duty as a loyal Fereldan. Still do. But if I hadn't it's unlikely we would have ever met, isn't it? Anyway, I've told you something about me this evening. Tomorrow, well, you'll see…"
A little later when, to his relief, Rous had curled up against him and put her head on his chest, he said, "So you're still interested in me?"
Rous nodded mutely and sniffled a little she had shed some tears shortly after going to bed but he had pretended not to notice because she hadn't drawn his attention to them and he didn't really know what to say.
"Well that's good anyway…" He said enjoying feeling her face against him and running his fingers through her long tresses, praying quietly to the Maker, Andraste and even Ser Maron, that on the morrow she wouldn't grow to hate him.
They were now heading southwards down the West Road directly through the Brecilian Forest. The Nublis trees were still awaiting spring, their almost bare branches striving towards the grey skies offering their buds tightly furled like candles in a Chantry.
It must be hereabouts, thought Alistair, that those travellers were attacked the previous year. He reminded himself that he needed to talk to Lanaya about that.
They had been riding for just over two hours when they were intercepted.
A lithe young Dalish female with short blond hair carrying a bow and quiver ran into the road. Bowing she said, "Andaran atish'an1, Lord Alistair". On the centre of her forehead directly above her long, elegant nose she bore a graceful, elaborately filigreed black diamond tattoo.
"Ma sarennas2," Alistair replied, suddenly aware that his poor Dalish, such as it was, had grown rusty over the last few months due to his neglecting his regular classes.
An older male with thick black shoulder length hair, blue wave-like markings and a more serious demeanour who said courteously enough, "Our Keeper says you should follow", quickly joined her.
By then the female was cooing and tickling an entranced Dusk behind the ear. Alistair dismounted and said to her, "Well you've certainly found his weak spot." Of the male he asked, "Da'len3?"
"She does well," he replied. Out of the corner of his eye, Alistair could see Rous cocking her head.
Rous got off Hope too and putting his hand over her shoulder Alistair said. "Dar Rous: emma falon4," the male and the female both nodded and Rous smiled, perhaps a little uncertainly.
"Horses?" The male asked, Alistair nodded. "I have never seen any before. These look to be most beautiful and gentle animals, almost as beautiful as halla. I am Eirseras and this is Glirwen. We shall escort you to our encampment."
They walked for about forty minutes, Alistair wasn't sure but he felt that they backtracked a few times, perhaps to disorientate them? Although since he was no scout, he could not say so for certain. He couldn't blame the Dalish for that, as King in Denerim there was only so much he could actually do to protect them from human predation; put laws in place and so forth, which he had. But actually, on the ground they had to fend for themselves. Should they be attacked again it would take at least a few days for the news to reach him in the capital and even longer for him to scupper help or retaliation.
Eventually they came to a clearing by a stream where the familiar aravals were sited. He also noticed that there were stone representations of their different deities throughout the camp. He wondered whether they transported the statues when they moved. He guessed they did. He looked at Rous. She seemed positively enthralled her jade eyes darting everywhere intrigued and charmed.
Several figures male and female squatted by the stream washing clothing and linen. One of them nudged another who got quickly to her feet. It was Lanaya. She was wearing what appeared to be an apron and she wiped her hands on it, just like Rous had wiped her hands the previous evening. She had the pendant he had given to her over a year ago around her neck.
"Sylaise's duties excuse no-one, aneth ara5, Alistair." She murmured and, as was customary they greeted each other with a quick kiss on the cheek. Alistair introduced Rous, Lanaya looked her over with her large azure eyes and they too exchanged kisses.
"Niamh is by the halla enclosure" Said Lanaya waving a delicate hand to the north, "I will be happy to meet with you later, Alistair."
Alistair nodded. "Let's go, Rous." And taking her by the arm he led her in the direction the Keeper had indicated.
"Who—" said Rous.
"You'll see." Replied Alistair hastily.
They passed Varathorn the crafter's outside workshop, Varathorn raised a hand to Alistair who returned his salutation. They went down a little hillock.
An undersized enclosure containing some eight white deer came into view. Outside the enclosure, two Elven females were shepherding five toddlers.
Alistair and Rous's presence caused a modest stir and both the females and most of the children turned. A dark-eyed blond child with a face as bright as a button broke away from the rest with cries of "Da-da… Da" and ran as quickly as her little legs could take her towards Alistair.
Alistair let go of Rous and squatted down opening his arms. The child ran into them and he lifted her up into the air and spun them, turning in circles, with his hands around her waist laughing delightedly.
"How is my pretty one, my little princess?" He said.
The girl chuckled with glee unselfconsciously reaching for his hair.
Alistair clasped her to his chest and then turned to Rous. "This is Niamh Eleniel, my daughter by Neriya…" He said.
1 "Enter this place in peace," formal Elven salutation
2 "Thank you"
3 "My child?"
4 "This is Rous, my friend."
5 "Good day."
Author's note: My thanks to B for her generous help with the Elven language. B's work and contact details can be found on .org/ Please note that most of her fics are rated at least "M", just like the game, and are generally NSFW. expect sex, blood, violence, and strong language. If there's anything that might be a trauma trigger, warnings are inserted where applicable.
