Chapter 54: I'm Ready
The next day, Rae went to school and Olivia had the Compstat briefing. It wasn't going very well. The committee didn't seem to think she was doing enough to catch the rapist and felt she was passing blame to other departments in other cities for their lack of progress. While she was giving the briefing word came in that there was another assault. She left to meet her team and the victim at the hospital. This time, he'd gone after a twelve year old girl named Ryann. She was bruised and scratched from the attack but she'd fended off the attacker before he raped her. She gave them a description of the car and a partial license plate and even said she left her headphones in the backseat for evidence. That was enough to give them the lead they needed. It took them to a doctor trading prescription drugs to women in exchange for sexual favors.
They were just starting to make progress on the case when Langan called and said the judge wanted them in court the next day. She tried to get him to ask for a different day and time but he told her that wasn't what they would want to hear. It would look bad if she couldn't make the appointed time work. She said she understood and that she would be there. Then, Rollins came in her office with bad news. The doctor wasn't their guy. She'd checked his blood type and it didn't match the type of the perp from Atlanta. Still, she knew it was his car that was used in Ryann's assault so they pressed the doctor for answers and worked on getting the garage footage from the hospital cameras. They couldn't do much more until they got the footage from the garage so they charged the doctor, sent him to booking and called it a night.
Rae wasn't there again when Olivia got home from work. She was hoping they could talk about what'd happened the day before and she needed to tell her about the hearing for Noah. She called her but her phone went straight to voicemail. She left her a message to call her back when she could. She let Lucy go and it was just her and Noah. Rae called her around eight and told her she wouldn't be able to make it to her house tonight. There was some sort of crisis going on at her house and she needed to help her mother. Olivia told her about the hearing tomorrow and asked if she'd be able to go. She said she would do her best to be there. Olivia and Noah had dinner, then it was bath time and she put Noah to bed. It took a while for him to go down again. Rae wasn't there to sing to him and he had gotten used to having her put him to bed. It took her half an hour to get him to sleep. She looked over her case files for a while then settled down to go to bed.
She woke up the next morning at seven. She fed Noah breakfast and had coffee for herself. Lucy got to her apartment by seven forty five and they headed out to the hearing. Olivia's caseworker complained on the stand about Olivia being absent from the hospital when Noah was in the ICU. Langan went according to plan and pointed out the significant difference in the care Noah got from Olivia than any of his other placements. He also pointed out the abuse Noah suffered that she and her agency neglected to find during any of his medical exams, yet, Olivia's doctor had found it in one visit. She just kept going back to the fact that Olivia should have been there. She said outright that, because of her job, she didn't think that Olivia could make Noah her priority. As expected, Judge Linden didn't make her decision at the hearing. She wanted to review the caseworker's findings before making her ruling. Langan said he'd be in touch with her when the judge came to a decision. Lucy took Noah home and Olivia rushed off to work.
When she got there, they informed her that they'd found out that ambulance drivers had access to all the keys to cars kept in the garage. The man that had taken the doctor's car during the time of Ryann's attack was an ambulance driver named Albert Beck with multiple commendations for heroisms. Fin and Carisi went to the address he had listed only to find he didn't live there anymore. He'd been kicked out for getting involved with his girlfriend's teenage daughter. They brought both the mother and daughter down to the station for questioning. While they were discussing the situation, Olivia got a text from the judge asking if she could come in to talk to her the next morning at eight thirty. She said that was fine and got her focus back on the case. She and Rollins worked the mother and daughter until they agreed to lead them to Beck. They set up a trap and he came to them. They made the arrest and Carisi managed to get a full confession. As if she needed any more complications, Rollins came into her office and said that Dodds wanted her at CompStat at eight and that it didn't sound like a request. She'd already told the judge that eight thirty was a good time for her to come in to talk to her. Now she had to be at CompStat at eight. It was like the universe was messing with her. She didn't know what she was going to do.
They wrapped up the pattern seventeen case, getting a confession on the three New York assaults and twenty eight others in different states. Olivia got home a little after seven and let Lucy go home. She called Judge Linden and explained her situation and asked if she could meet her earlier in the morning. Luckily for her, the judge was understanding and said she could come in at seven thirty. She called Lucy and asked if she could get there earlier than usual. She said it was no problem. Olivia thanked her and got off the phone. Rae was still at her mother's house and Olivia hoped it wouldn't be another challenging night getting Noah to bed. She had no such luck. Noah really seemed to miss Rae being there and he didn't have a problem showing it. Tonight it took Olivia almost an hour to get Noah to sleep. She tried calling Rae before she went to bed but all she got was her voicemail. She was nervous about meeting with Judge Linden in the morning and what her ruling would be. She tried to put it out of her mind and get some sleep.
She woke up the next morning at six thirty. She put coffee on and got dressed. When Lucy got there at seven she was ready to walk out the door. Noah was still asleep so she kissed him goodbye, careful not to wake him, and headed out. She got the judge's chambers right on time. She thanked her for seeing her early. Judge Linden told her that she wanted to have a sit down with her before she made her ruling. She said that there wasn't any shame in admitting that she was in a situation that she couldn't handle, that nobody would judge her. During their meeting, Dodds called her phone, presumably to check on where she was. She tried to pay attention to Judge Linden as she talked but her phone kept ringing. Judge Linden asked if she needed to take the call but she assured her that she didn't. She wanted her to know that she loved Noah and wanted the very best for him. She promised to do whatever she needed to do to prove to her and social services that Noah was her priority. She finished up with Judge Linden then rushed off to CompStat. She made it just under the wire and went in front of the committee. To her surprise, she received some support from Chief Dodds during the briefing. All in all, things went well. She went into work and thanked the gods for a quiet day. When she got home, Rae was in the living room with Noah. He had a toy guitar and she had her real one and they were playing together. She was singing and he was, well, he was trying at least. They looked to be having a good time. Rae looked up when she walked in.
"Look, Noah" she said excited, "Mommy's home". She put her guitar in the case and got up from the floor. She picked Noah up and walked over to Liv.
"Hi buddy" Olivia said happily. Of course, she was happy to see Noah but she was especially happy to Rae. It'd been a few days since she'd seen her. They had a lot to talk about. "And hello" she said looking at Rae.
"Hi" she said smiling. She handed Noah over to her and went to the kitchen. "You want anything special for dinner?" she asked looking in the frig.
"Uh, no. Whatever you decide is fine". She sat down on the floor with Noah and he immediately picked up his guitar. "Did you buy this for him?" she asked. Rae looked over to see what she was talking about.
"Uh, no. Jimmy bought it". She decided on chicken, mac and cheese, and green beans. "I told him a few days ago how much Noah liked my guitar so he bought him one today".
"Well that was nice of him" she said in her baby voice looking at Noah. Rae put two pots on the stove, one for the mac and cheese and the other for the green beans. She took out a skillet to cook the chicken in and let the stove heat. She came over to the living room and sat down on the couch.
"Yeah" she said softly. "He, uh, wants to meet him" she said hesitantly. She didn't know what Olivia would think seeing how they weren't even officially together yet. "Noah I mean. Jimmy wants to meet Noah" she clarified. "So…what do you think….about that?"
"I think that sounds great" Olivia said looking up at her.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah".
"Ok. Great. I'll talk to Jimmy. Maybe we can do something this weekend". She got up and went back to the kitchen to get back to cooking dinner. They were sitting down to eat by seven thirty. Noah had his baby food version of their meal and his favorite cookies for dessert. He was a sticky mess by the time he was done. Rae cleared the dishes from the table and Olivia put away the leftovers and got started on cleaning up the kitchen. Rae went over and got Noah from his high chair. "You made a mess mister" she said looking at his face and clothes. Noah just grinned and tried to put the last little piece of cookie he had left in her mouth. "No" she said pulling her mouth away, "You eat it". He tried to give her the cookie again. "No, you eat it". Rae took the cookie from him and put it in his mouth. She carried him into the bedroom and got him undressed. Olivia was still in the kitchen cleaning up when she heard the water going in the bathroom. She was surprised that Rae was getting Noah in the bathtub on her own. She usually followed Olivia's lead but tonight she was taking the initiative herself. She finished up in the kitchen and when she went into the bathroom, Noah was already in the bathtub. Rae was sitting on the edge with her hair in a high ponytail and Noah was splashing in the water. She let down the lid and sat on the toilet next to Rae and watched Noah play in the bathtub.
After about ten minutes of fun in the tub, he started to yawn. Rae washed him up and got him out the tub then passed him off to Olivia. Olivia finished getting him ready for bed and put him in his crib. Araeyah was in the living room setting up desert for her and Olivia when she heard him start to cry. She chuckled to herself because she knew that he'd gotten used to her singing him to sleep. She thought Olivia must've had a hell of a time getting him to sleep when she wasn't here over the last couple nights. She finished setting up the living room and wondered how long it would be before Olivia asked for her help. Five minutes later, Olivia had given up.
"Araeyah" she called for her from the bedroom, "A little help in here please". Rae laughed and got up from the couch to go put Noah to sleep.
"I guess I shouldn't have started this, huh?" she asked with a smirk.
"No, you shouldn't have" she said not finding it amusing. Rae picked Noah up and sat down with him in the rocking chair. He got comfortable in her lap, like he knew what was coming. Rae started to sing and rock him back and forth. His eyes instantly got heavy but he was fighting his sleep. It was almost as if he wanted to stay awake longer to her more of her singing. "But it's a beautiful sight to see" Olivia said watching her. Rae smiled and continued to sing until Noah was fast asleep. Olivia took him from her and laid him in his crib. She turned the dial on the music mobile over his crib and let it play. Rae got up from the rocking chair and went out to the living room. Olivia pulled Noah's blanket over him, turned out the light and then went to join Rae in the living room. Rae had turned out the lights and lit candles. She had chocolate covered strawberries, chocolate brownie bites and champagne on the table. Olivia sat down next to her and just looked at her for a few minutes. "So, how's your mom?" she asked picking up a glass of champagne and handing it to Rae. She picked up the other glass for herself.
"Um, she's good" she said before taking a sip from her glass. She reached forward and grabbed a chocolate covered strawberry. "She's putting Charles out of the house….but she's good" she said again.
"Are you serious?" Olivia asked in disbelief. Rae nodded her head and bit into the strawberry.
"Yeah. She finally said enough and told him he had to move out. So that's what I was helping her with".
"Wow" she said taking her first sip of champagne.
"Yeah" Rae said with a shrug. "It's about time". Olivia laughed. "What about you? How was the hearing?"
"I want to tell you about that. I do" Olivia said setting her glass on the table, "but first I want to talk about what happened the other night. Why were you upset? Why did you leave?" Rae sighed and set her glass on the table next to Olivia's. She should have known Olivia would want to talk about that first.
"I was jealous" she admitted. Olivia looked confused. "Of Lucy" Rae clarified.
"Araeyah…."
"It was just…I was being ridiculous. I saw how the two of you were talking to each other, finishing each's sentences. And Noah was there on the floor by you and the three of you just looked like a little family. I was jealous".
"I told you Lucy is just Noah's sitter. There's no…."
"There's nothing going on between the two of you. I know that" Rae said not letting Olivia tell her what she already knew. "And I'm not accusing you of anything" she added. "I was just jealous because I know she was here a lot more than I was with you and Noah and you've developed this system that works for you. And I know you have to do that. I just felt a little…left out, that's all" she explained. "And you really caught me off guard when you called me Noah's mom" she added. Olivia remembered her remark about the keys. "Being here with you, raising Noah with you, it scares me more than anything" she said softly.
"You're doing an amazing job" Olivia said taking her hand. "I hated coming home and you not being here. And Noah hates bedtime without you". They both laughed. "Seriously, though, we really missed you a lot".
"I missed you both too" she said with a smile. "So can we talk about the hearing now?" Olivia laughed.
"Yes" she said with a nod. "Uh, well Noah's case worker was predictable. She talked about me not being at the hospital when Noah was in intensive care".
"But you were there" Rae interrupted, "You just weren't there when she was there".
"Yeah, well, she thinks I should've been there the whole time".
"You have a job. What does she expect?" Olivia shrugged her shoulders. "But if you'd quit your job to give all your time to Noah or gotten fired because you didn't go to work when he was in the hospital, she'd write a report about you being unable to take care of him because you're unemployed" she said angrily.
"Down girl" Olivia joked.
"I really don't like her" Rae said taking a calming breath.
"Me either but the judge takes what she says into consideration. She said that because I'm a single parent with a stressful job that she worries I can't make Noah my first priority".
"Well, what does the judge say?" she asked.
"I think she has similar worries" Olivia said sadly. "I met with her this morning and she said in not so many words that if I'm in over my head to just tell her now".
"Do you think you're in over your head?"
"No" she said without hesitation. "But I don't know how to convince them that I'm not. I am single, my job is very stressful and demanding, and, sometimes, Noah suffers because of it. I can't be with him as much as I want to be but I make sure that he has the best care possible and that he has everything he needs and that he knows that he's loved".
"What if you could fix one of those things?" Rae asked.
"What do you mean?" Olivia asked confused.
"You said they worry about you being single with a stressful job" she said. She took a deep breath. "What if you just have a stressful job?" Olivia wasn't sure she was following what Araeyah was saying. "What if you could tell them that you're not single?" A smile grew on Olivia's face. She hoped Rae was saying what she thought she was saying. "You've waited so patiently for me to be ready. The other night when I walked out on you and went home alone, I realized how much this means to me; how much being here with you and Noah means to me. I don't want to let my fear get in the way anymore. I've thought it through and I want what you want. And I'm ready to have it" she said confidently. Olivia just sat there smiling. She couldn't believe that Rae was finally saying, out loud, that she was ready to be with her again, to make a family with her and Noah. She leaned in and kissed Rae softly on the lips. It'd been a long time since she'd felt her lips against her own. Rae brought her hands up to either side of Olivia's face and deepened their kiss. She parted her lips and allowed Olivia's tongue into her mouth to caress her own. Their kiss was more full of love and passion than it had ever been before. They were finally recommitting to each other and committing to Noah. They were a family. Rae broke their kiss and looked Olivia in the eyes. "I love you" she whispered.
"I love you too".
