Clarke speeds through the afternoon sun atop, not Daedalus, but a giant grey wolf. She and Bill bolt through the trees at a blistering pace. Clarke had originally wanted to take the flames, but she's still too weak and Octavia refused to let her be on her own. She wasn't about to do that to Lexa or Clarke.

Octavia rides behind with Daedalus and Beland on Icarus. Though they are the swiftest steeds in Lexa's lands, Bill is faster. Clarke arrives much quicker into the village of TonDC.

The unsuspecting village greets her joyously. They chant her names and reach out to her. She wasn't supposed to arrive for another few days so her visit is a welcome surprise.

They welcome her to her and Lexa's permanent hut and she lights the fire inside instantly with a flick of her wrist upon entering. The people give the gigantic wolf she rode in on a wide birth while he waits for her outside. She unloads her things and lights the candles. She doesn't wait for the rest of her party to arrive, Octavia knows where she is headed. She silently leaves her hut to begin her work.

She directs Bill where they're headed on his back and they make excellent time. Bill begins to scout the area and set a perimeter.

Clarke finds the hidden opening of the long forgotten tunnel and enters the dark damp hall. Her supplies are held under her arm and she breathes deeper with each step.

A calm washes over her, a soothing warmth fills her and for the first time in days she feels it. The cold chill in her bones finally begins to thaw.

She flicks her wrist and lights the trough of oil along the floor.

Claire and Alex's life mural flickers into focus reaching across the length of the wall. Once again, Clarke's first reaction is one of awe, holy shit. She's seen the wall before, but it's beauty and detail still takes her breath away.

Claire's words come back to her as she looks upon the mural on the wall. She remembers the last time she was here with Lexa. She takes in the mural that started her soul's journey many years ago.

You are in control though you may not feel like it at times. You are Heda Kom Faete as much as I am, more so with Lexa at your side for I never found Alex until my spirit was you. Love is strength Clarke, and it will see you through the darkness. Have her, have the light.

Clarke smiles, a genuine smile, the first one in days…

After some time spent in silent appreciation, she turns her back and sets her supplies down.

Therapy starts now.


Two days pass.

For two solid days Clarke stays awake, completely enraptured in her therapy. She's taken by her own work. Inspired.

She eats what's forced into her by Octavia and the twins. (They draw sticks to pick who has the unfortunate task of interrupting her.)

She takes the briefest of breaks, though her eyes never leave the wall. Her mind never stops planning her next move. She rushes back to her work each time.

With each motion of her hand; each brush stroke and soft edge; Each cut of paint into the cement wall, she brings it to life.

It brings Clarke back to hers.

It reminds her who she is. It reminds her why she is who she is.

With each piece she adds, Clarke feels her own walls, the walls keeping Lexa from her feelings, softening. If Lexa reaches out at all she will know. She becomes stronger, ready to let Lexa back in, as Clarke heals herself through art.

Catharsis.

Each addition she makes is purification. It's purpose. It's pride.

By the early morning of her second full night of work, before the sun has even risen; four days before their Union Day, Clarke is finally ready.

Physically, she's on the mend. The wound is scabbing nicely. Emotionally, she's not healed, but she is bandaged and on her way there. She's literally and figuratively no longer bleeding from the inside out. She's no longer trapped in her fear. Her mind is loosening. Her muscles begin to lessen in tension. She starts breathing easier.

Wanheda's guard is lowering as Clarke's strength comes back.

But the only thing that will truly heal Clarke is in Polis.

The only thing that will bring her back, right her wrongs and make her truly believe again is Lexa.

So on the last stroke she makes, she drops the paintbrush and pulls the flames from the oil, plunging the hall into darkness, and letting them lead her home, to Lexa.


Clarke lands on the balcony of the tower.

She pushes the doors to their room open to find that it's...

"A giant fucking mess..." Clarke says frowning taking in the usually pristine room that looks like it's been ransacked.

Lexa's not in bed. She's not really surprised, when Lexa was stressed she would be by her throne pacing. Clarke knew where to find her.

"Heda was angry..." (Understatement.) Clarke murmurs walking further and bypassing the various items thrown all over the floor. She must have kept the handmaidens out since Clarke's visit...

She probably tried to keep them all out. She's grateful for Raven and Kai knowing they wouldn't let that happen. Octavia didn't tell her much about Lexa's state of mind when she left out of respect for Lexa's privacy but this was pretty indicative of how she was...

Thinking back on everything, Clarke feels horrible, as she should (she really fucking should). She can tell Lexa has given up on trying to feel for her; she feels no reaching from her and Clarke has tried to respect her boundaries and not reach back. Her eyes well and she bites her lips and she quickly heads to the wardrobe.

Guilt is a terrible thing and Clarke carries enough of it to last her more than one lifetime. Her hands start shaking again and she fights off tears.

Breathe. That's why you're here now. You just needed time. She'll understand.

She always does.

She quickly changes into a fresh beige tunic and dark brown leather pants. She takes her grey cloak and fastens it on. Except for the hidden assassin blades, She wears only her katana on her hip tonight. This early morning she's only planning on battling emotions.

When she's ready, she fixes her braids and pinches her cheeks in attempts to make it look like she hadn't just spent two days underground. She doesn't know how successful she is as the bruises and small lacerations have yet to fade completely. She opens the door to their room and heads to the throne room.

She stops inside the elevator and smiles as a thought strikes her. When the elevator doors open Clarke has disappeared in flames.

She lands in the dark nightgrove and heads to the edge of the cliff. She waits. She works on calmly breathing until the perfect moment. She has a brief flicker of worry that has her wondering if she'll answer, if she'll come to Clarke's call, but it vanishes as quick as it came. She has to try, no matter how much the obvious rejection would hurt if Lexa didn't respond ...

As soon as the sun begins to rise over polis, as soon as she sees the first break of dawn over the lake, she breaks the walls completely and pushes her lovingly warm ache for Lexa to her.

She breathes a little easier with each second.

She doesn't feel the tears that slowly escape her eye in its sweet caress.

Ai niron. Ai houmon. Ai sounron. My love. My wife. My life.

But Lexa doesn't show.

Clarke waits with a furrowed brow and a roaring heart. She doubles her efforts but the result stays the same. She watches the sun continue to rise and she tries to swallow her frustration.

This is all her fault. Lexa is hurt and Clarke is the one that hurt her, she cut her deep without a single blade in hand. Clarke clenches her fists at her side and shuts her eyes tighter.

She tries to contain the boiling pot of her guilt, frustration and quite frankly anger towards herself with steadying breaths.

She fails.

Clarke screams bloody murder over the slumbering city. Her hollow voice cracks and seeps over like a cloud; it echoes hauntingly.

She doesn't feel Wanheda driving it; it's all Clarke, it's all raw pain.

It doesn't make her feel any better.

Clarke failed her on multiple levels. She shut her out, she stopped communicating properly, she essentially fucked up and got carried away with the wind in the desert, she let her fear drive her...

Fear is too powerful to be given such control, such reign over her being. She's too dangerous; too willing to do whatever it takes. If Clarke is driven by fear the only result will be just as the desert - death and destruction. Burned from existence.

Erased.

No more.

Breathe, that's why you're here now.

She's here to make amends; she's stronger with Lexa than without. They are strongest when they share their pain and their joy. Sometimes it's difficult to get over the pain or to see past it but Clarke knows deep down the only way she will, is with Lexa's help. They have a lot of pain, but they have a whole hell of a lot of things to be joyous about.

They have light that will get them through the dark. Sometimes they just need the reminder.

Instead of leaving angry or defeated, Clarke resigns herself to Lexa's mercy, Lexa's anger, her sadness and her hurt. She doesn't steel herself or try and protect herself with her walls, she stays open for what may come.

She opens her eyes and takes the flames to just outside the throne room. This time she'll knock, she'll wait for consent to invade Lexa's private moments.

The guards snap to alert when she appears, she looks right at them and nods as she passes them, heading to the door. She knocks softly.

No answer.

Clarke takes a deep breath and knocks again.

She waits a second longer before the faint click of the door is heard and it cracks open.

"...Lex?"

"Clarke?" Ravens sleepy face is revealed as the door opens wider.

"Hey, is she asleep?"

Raven rubs her eyes and nods, "she keeps dozing in and out. It's been a long night."

Clarke puts her hand on her shoulder, "thanks for looking out for her."

Raven pulls her in for a quick hug. "Stop hurting her and we're cool Griffin. But the next time you pull a stunt like this you better be ready to catch these hands." She pulls back to look at her seriously. "It's been bad. I'm serious."

"Noted. Listen, I didn't plan on any of this happening. I just needed-"

Raven holds her hand up, "not the one you need to be explaining things to bud. Save it for the broody gay queen."

Clarke and Raven share a small understanding smile before Raven tilts her head and beckons Clarke to pass her.

The door softly clicks shut behind raven leaving Clarke in the dark room, the sunrise creeping in slowly from the balcony.

Clarke steps closer, quietly padding over to Lexa's sleeping form. She's on the throne, her feet tucked up on the seat, arms holding her knees and her head against her shoulder. It all makes her look so tiny. So fragile.

"Clarke," the woman murmurs and twitches lightly in her sleep.

Clarke closes her eyes for a moment knowing from the way she said it that it's not exactly connected to a good feeling.

"Niron," she whispers reverently when she opens her eyes and falls to her knees at the foot of the throne. "Lex," she whispers gently reaching up and tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

And all at once Clarke breaks. The tears begin to fall steady as everything that's happened in the last week comes flooding back; the death, the blood, the fear, and most importantly - the pain she knows she caused Lexa. Seeing her now, just being in her safe place, breaks the dam inside the blonde.

Lexa stirs at the sound. Her eyes flutter open and concern fills her features. "Clarke?" She doesn't move anything beyond the small turn of her head. Green eyes guarded and unsure.

Clarke moves, she puts her hand on her cheek, and sniffles when she smiles, she can't help it. "I'm so sorry Lexa."

Lexa adjusts her body slowly, as if afraid to spook her. It makes Clarke cry harder and Lexa's frown deepens and only worsens it. Clarke figures something out, "you're n- not feeling for me are you. Your blocking both aren't you."

"You asked me not to... It was the easiest way." Lexa says quietly.

Clarke shakes her head and comes a little closer, speaking through her tears again she reaches out to Lexa and grabs her hand, "feel me Lex; you don't need my permission, you have this wonderful gift for a reason, it was wrong of me to tell you not to use it."

Clarke pulls her closer and runs her other hand up Lexas shoulder and on to the back of her neck. "It was more wrong of me to keep you out, to not talk to you... To make you doubt and worry. I know I scared you..."

Clarke looks into deep forests in her eyes and whispers, "can you feel me?"

"Clarke," lexa breathes back. The tears give her away.

Clarke takes that as a yes.

"Do you trust me ai niron?" She pulls their bodies closer.

"I trust you with my life Clarke."

"Good, because this is untested and you need to come with me."

She crashes her lips to Lexas in a heated and slow drawn out kiss. Energy courses through her, it hums and her fire blazes higher with each pump of blood to her heart. She focuses and the tornado of flames enraptures them both, Clarke keeping Lexa close and safe within the small circle untouched by flame.

It works. They go weightless together. They vanish in flames from the sunrise view in the throne room together.

But it's the kiss that takes their breaths away.


Lexa's head lifts back slowly, eyes remaining closed, lost in the moment. Lost in Clarke's kiss. There's the faintest whisper escaping her lips as if it's a prayer, "Clarke."

Then Lexa leans back further, coming to her senses, "Clarke, where are we?"

They're standing in complete darkness.

"We are at the beginning Lex," Clarke says grabbing her hand and turning her.

She focuses her energy and makes the flaming moat beneath Alex and Claire's mural light and then rise higher.

Lexa looks back at her and then back to the wall. "Okay, but why? I don't understand."

"You will," Clarke pulls her closer and touches the wall with their entwined hands. Fingertips gently pad it before Clarke presses their hands more firmly into the wall, Lexa's palm and fingertips now firmly touching century old paint with Clarke's hand over top it.

Clarke moves so she can keep their hands together and stand behind Lexa. She holds their bodies flush, her free hand wrapping around her midsection, her head on her shoulder, her warm breath in her ear.

"I spoke to her, to Claire…have you ever spoken to Alex?" Clarke watches Lexa's eyes wander across the mural.

Lexa nods, "after the trial. She reminded me of the blood." Clarke sees the tears welling again but they do not fall.

"Well, claire and I had a conversation after I left you for Delphi. she told me a lot without telling me much of anything…" Clarke shakes her head, she's not really making much sense right now. Lexa is always so much better at these big romantic gestures...the speeches.

Clarke nuzzles her nose into Lexas neck and jaw breathing her in deep before trying again.

"I know you have some idea of what happened in the desert and I need you to know that me blocking you was not because I regret what I did for our hopes at peace. It wasn't because I resent or regret my place or you - because I could never." Clarke swallows and places a soft kiss to Lexa's neck.

"I did what I had to do; and though I feel I made a few mistakes and let it get out of hand – you make me believe I didn't...The hope I have for a future without bloodshed is strong enough for me to know it had to be done. If they had lived there would have been terrible backlash, they all were ready to fight death."

"They lost."

"Sha," Clarke said sadly. "I warned them..."

"Calrke," Lexa tries to turn to look at her.

Clarke keeps her steady, rooted, hands still pressed to the wall. "No Lex. Wait. Focus. Feel me, feel Claire and Alex's energy. Breathe…let me talk."

Lexa nods against her and Clarke feels her relax slightly in her arms. She feels their soothing shared warmth enrapture them both.

Clarke sighs content and speaks, "Claire warned me that we have not seen our darkest days… she was right and I am certain it extends beyond the desert… but I am not afraid Lex. And maybe I should be. But I'm not. I had my worst fears shown to me in the desert, I saw them, felt them... and I survived, I pushed beyond them and do you know why?"

Lexa shakes her head.

"I have you and that's all I need. She told me you were the light, she's right, our love brought me back. I fought and I won... "

Clarke sighs, "I'm fine with what happened in the desert. I've accepted that Wanheda's death count would rise long ago. I've accepted the harsh truth of the way life is on ground right now. It wasn't fear of what I had done there, it is fear of what I could do... What I did to you - Lex, What I am more concerned about is us and how I made you feel."

"You don't have to apologize Clarke."

"I wish you would stop saying that when you know it's a crock of shit."

She can see a small twitch to Lexas lips in the firelight. Clarke kisses her neck again, "I'm so sorry Lexa. I'm sorry for for getting lost in my head, I'm sorry for blocking you. I'm sorry for scaring you."

Now Clarke gingerly pulls their hands from the way and spins her. Green orbs dance in the firelight and Clarke smiles, she kisses Lexa like its the first time all over again.

Their lips move together. Passion seeping from every movement. Clarke pushes into Lexa, bringing their chests together. Breast-to-breast, lip-to-lip and hip-to-hip.

She pulls back and hums with a grin. Lexa strokes her cheek, "I can see how sorry you are, I can feel it Clarke." Her thumb traces Clarke's bottom lip before her lips capture it. "Just don't do that again."

Clarke smiles out of this kiss and nods, "Shut your eyes."

Lexa follows the command swiftly, without hesitation and Clarke steps back just enough to separate their bodies. She keeps her hand entwined with Lexa's. Clarke remembers Lexa doing something similar when she first took her to the ocean. Now she is the one nervously excited to see the reaction she hopes to receive when Lexa opens her eyes.

Clarke leans in to kiss her cheek and whispers, "I love you Lexa. I want everyone to know it; I cannot wait until we stand in front of everyone and declare that our lives are each other's. I cannot wait for everyone to know I am yours... We are soul mates Lexa, in this life and the next just as we were before and now everyone will know..."

She kisses Lexas other cheek, "Alex came down here and painted their love for all to see on the wall; she immortalized the both of them, she immortalized their love. I've returned to help write the rest of their story, our story Lex."

Clarke takes a deep breath. She flicks her wrist and ignites the opposite walls moat of oil. Her own mural comes to life, "Okay, I'm ready." Clarke takes a deep breath and huskily whispers, "Ai niron, open your eyes."

As Lexa opens her incredibly expressive green eyes. Clarke can visibly see the moment her breath is taken away. Lexa freezes, her grip on Clarke's hand tightens, her eyes widen and she hungrily takes in the images.

Clarke feels joy.