Title: Moving On
Author: Raven Shadowrose
Rating: M
Pairing:?/?
Summary: Dixie has been left broken hearted by Cyd's departure from the Holby team, what happens when Cyd is replaced by Hannah Darbyshire and Dixie takes a liking to her. Will she end up with even more of a broken heart or will she find the happiness that she has been searching for?
Disclaimer: I do not know or own any of the characters from Casualty, all original characters and the story are my property and I do not give permission for anyone else to use this story.
Author's Note: This story will contain will contain some femslash, if you do not wish to read it then by all means back away slowly the way you came, other than that enjoy the story and reviews are appreciated :)
Thank you to chan. nelson444, olivia. c. king1 and beethovenRIP for your reviews. I wonder if this was who you were expecting?
Chapter Fifty-Four... Lawrence Darbyshire.
I looked in the mirror at my bare torso, the scars that decorated my arm, chest and stomach will forever remind me of the day that my ex-wife tried to kill me because I told her that I wanted a divorce. My wounds healed completely a few weeks after the surgery but it is only today that I feel like I can put it all behind me and move on. Today, a jury found her guilty of GBH and attempted murder. It feels like an empty victory when I think of what Hannah went through because of her selfish mother, she hasn't talked about it but I know that it was hard for her. Dixie told me everything, having the police turn up at work to tell Hannah what happened must have been a shock. I am glad that Dixie was there for Hannah through it all, that she didn't have to face it alone. I was relieved when I woke up to find Hannah in my room and in one piece, my biggest fear was that Hannah's mother would try and hurt her to get to me. I knew that she was capable of it, she had tried to kill me after all. I didn't want anything to happen to Hannah, I love her so much and it would kill me inside if anything happened to her.
All the time that I was in the ambulance and in hospital before I went to theatre, I was thinking of Hannah, I was determined to live for her. I couldn't die, if I had died then she would have been devastated. All my thoughts were of Hannah, a lot of memories flashed through my mind and she was in all of them. Hannah wasn't planned but I was happy when I found out that I was going to be a father, I was even happier when I found that the baby was a girl, I had always wanted a little girl of my own. I still hold the opinion that Hannah is the only good thing to come out of my marriage. I started putting money to one side for Hannah's future before she was even born, I wanted her to have the best, she is my world and I wanted to make sure that she would be provided for. When she was born I played with her whenever I wasn't working, I loved spending time with her and holding her whilst I read her stories. I wish I could say the same about her mother; Hannah was always in the care of the nanny while her mother attended the usual parties and lunches. I tried to make up for it by spending as much time as I could with Hannah and playing with her when I wasn't at work. I tried to give Hannah the love that she didn't receive from her mother.
I knew that Melissa wouldn't take the news that I was divorcing her well, I prepared in advance for telling her the news. I changed my will to make Hannah the only beneficiary and gave her the details to the bank account that contained the savings I had been gathering all my life for her. I hadn't expected that she would try to kill me, but when it happened I was glad that I had prepared ahead, just in case the worst happened. I hadn't expected the worst to be a knife in my chest. I still think about it from time to time, sometimes I dream about it, about what it would be like if it had ended differently. If there is one good thing to come from all of this, I realised how much I wanted to live life and make the most of it while I could. I know that everyone says that when they face death, but, I mean it. I want to do the job that I love and spend time with the daughter that I love. I knew that Hannah would marry Dixie one day and I was determined to be around for that day, I will be the one giving her away and holding the beautiful children that I know they will have one day.
Hannah was a sweet and loving child, she would always come to me for hugs whenever I came home from work. I used to dread that Hannah would turn from the sweet child that I knew to being like her mother; vain, self-obsessed and in love with money. It was Melissa's plan to train Hannah in the ways of being a lady, that is why she insisted on her learning to play music and sing. It was her intention to marry Hannah off into a rich family; she would dress her up and parade her about as if she was a prized animal. Hannah mastered every instrument and she learned to sing quickly, she hated the ballroom dancing but mastered that too. I hated what she was doing but no matter how many times I objected Melissa refused to stop treating Hannah like she was an object to be married off into the first rich family that came along. I wanted better for Hannah, I wanted her to choose the person that she loves and not have them chosen for her. As Hannah got older she found a way to thwart her mother's plans, she met James at a party and they quickly became friends. They stuck together at the parties and would only dance with each other, they had everyone fooled that they were falling in love and would one day get married. Hannah told me all about the plan and I gave her my full support, she always confided in me and came to me when she needed to talk. James has always been a good friend to Hannah and their friendship is one of the strongest that I have seen.
Hannah has always been intelligent and talented, she inherited my love of learning and the need to help people. She passed the entrance exams for grammar school easily and worked hard throughout her time there, she always made me proud of her. I remember the day that Hannah came home and talked to me about the paramedic that came in to their careers lesson and talked about their job. I saw the look in Hannah's eyes and I knew that she had found her future job, I knew before she did that one day she would start her training and help save lives. I wasn't at all surprised when Hannah began looking at subjects that would enable her to get onto a paramedic science degree and then into a position as a technician. I know it sounds like I'm boasting, but, I'm not, I am so proud of Hannah and I see no reason to be ashamed of that. It does worry me that something might happen to Hannah, her job is dangerous, but I know that Hannah has good friends and a woman that loves her unconditionally and I know that they take care of each other when they are working and going into potentially dangerous situations.
The phone ringing drags me from my thoughts and I see that it is Hannah that is calling me, I know that she is calling to see how the trial went. I refused to let her be there because I know that if she saw the pictures of my injuries and listened to my account of what happened then it would upset her. I know that Hannah is older now and able to look after herself but I still want to protect her, she is my little girl and always will be. 'Hello Hannah.'
'Dad, how did the trial go?'
'Your mother was found guilty and sentenced.'
'How long for.'
'Thirty-five years.'
'That's good, isn't it?'
'I know, she deserves it. I am glad that she is in prison, it means that she can't hurt anyone.'
'By anyone, you mean me, don't you?'
'Yes, I do. You'll always be my little girl Hannah.'
'I know, I hope that doesn't change.'
'It won't. I'm just sorry that you had to go through so much pain because of it.'
'It isn't your fault. I wanted to be there for you.'
'Your caring nature is one of your best qualities, don't ever lose that.'
'Thanks dad.'
'I mean it.'
'What will you do now?'
'I don't know, start over. I think I'm a bit past meeting someone new though.'
'No, you're not.'
'I don't know, I'm not going to force it, if it happens then it happens.'
'I understand.'
'Don't worry about me.'
'I'll try.'
'Can we talk about happier things? The trial is over and she is where she belongs.'
'Okay.'
'How is Dixie?'
'She's very well, we both are.'
'Good, I am glad to hear it. Have you made any progress in sorting out a date for the wedding?'
'We have a few days off soon, we'll discuss it then.'
'Let me know when you decide.'
'We will. Why don't you come to Holby and stay with us for a couple of days, you can help us to decide the date.'
'I just might do that, I'll check my schedule and I'll let you know.'
'All right. I have to go to work so I will speak to you soon.'
'Give my love to Dixie.'
'I will do. I love you dad.'
'Love you too, talk to you soon.'
'Bye dad.'
'Bye sweetheart.' I put the phone down and placed it on the table, I was hoping that Hannah and Dixie would decide on a date for their wedding soon, it would give me something to look forward to.
I remember Hannah telling me that she wanted to move to Holby, I agreed on the promise that she would let me find her a place to live. I wanted Hannah to be safe and finding her a house in a decent area was a way to do that. When Hannah moved to Holby I went with her and helped her to move in, her mother was livid, naturally, she hated the idea of Hannah going to a place that she viewed as common. I was glad that Hannah was away from the influence of her mother, I hoped that she would blossom and become more of her own person. I remember going to visit Hannah and seeing the difference in her, she was happy, I knew that she had met someone and that she was falling in love with that someone. I was happy, I could tell that Hannah cared for Dixie and from the way that she talked about her, Dixie cared about Hannah too.
The day that I met Dixie for the first time, I saw how nervous she was about meeting me, I knew that she wanted to make a good impression, that she wanted me to like her. It was clear that she wanted me to think that she was good enough for Hannah. I felt sorry for her, her nerves were clear for everyone to see and I tried my best to make her feel at ease. I warmed to Dixie instantly, she was so open and honest about her feelings for Hannah, it became obvious to me that she had a big heart and was in love with my daughter. There was just something about Dixie, something that made people love her. I saw the love she felt for Hannah instantly. It made me feel at ease, I knew that Hannah's heart was in a very good pair of hands. When Hannah and Dixie came to visit me for James' wedding, I saw that they had grown closer and more together than ever before. I was pleased to welcome Dixie into my home and have her there as my guest. I had plenty of hope that Dixie might become part of the family one day.
I knew that coming to Holby would encourage Hannah to become more of her own person and to step away from her mother but it also helped her to find love. The day that Dixie and Hannah announced their engagement was one of the happiest days of my life. It made being in hospital a lot more bearable. I had already begun to think of Dixie as my daughter-in-law and I treated her as such, the fact that she had come all of the way from Holby to support Hannah and be with her meant so much to me. I knew then that I had made the right decision in letting her go, if Hannah had stayed here then she would never had met Dixie and they wouldn't have fallen in love. I smiled, there was a lot to look forward to in the future, I would get to see my beautiful little girl get married to the woman she loves and see them paired together for the rest of their lives. All I have ever wanted for Hannah is happening here and now and I couldn't be happier for her.
