It had been hard to leave Ty Lee this time – it had been very hard. Azula knew, of course, that the acrobat didn't want her to go. She knew the girl's pain and fear for her. But it was one thing to know about them, and another to feel the anguish resonating through the young woman's spirit. Azula wished the girl could have been a little more supportive of what she was going to do, but…well, she guessed she understood.
Ty Lee had seen Azula after she'd left her body. Azula supposed she shouldn't have been overly surprised at this, given the gymnast's skill in seeing and reading auras. The princess had paused in the act of passing to the Spirit World on hearing her name. At the sight of Ty Lee's awed, tear-streaked face, Azula's heart had melted. She'd gone over to place a gentle kiss on her lover's lips. She didn't know if Ty Lee had felt it or not; she'd have to ask her when she got back.
If she got back.
Azula took a deep breath and looked up at the massive mouth of the cave that towered over her. This time, she'd known where she was going; there had been no journey through the Spirit World to reach her destination. She had simply found herself here, standing before the caverns that held the mighty spirits of the dragon ancestors. I suppose I had stronger clarity of will this time, Azula thought snidely. Maybe I could get better at this, if I live through the next hour or so. She gazed at the top of the cave mouth that towered so far above her head, took a deep breath, and started forward.
"Azula."
As strained as her nerves were, the voice sent a shock through Azula's body! She spun around, her hands coming up instinctively into a defensive stance. Her eyes took in the dark hair, quiet face and gentle, golden eyes of the intruder at a glance, and her body relaxed. "Mother." Azula's voice was a trifle more strained than usual.
Ursa smiled as she approached, and her hand rested against Azula's cheek. "I'm sorry I startled you," she said. Her eyes were sad.
The princess looked at her. "Are you going to try to dissuade me as well, Mother?"
"Would it do any good, my lamb?" Ursa asked softly. Azula said nothing, and her mother sighed, sorting through her hair with a light touch. It stuck Azula that only Ty Lee had ever done this to her. "Avatar Aang seemed to think that you were pretty determined to go through with this."
"I am," Azula said, then paused. "You've been speaking with the Avatar?"
"Yes. He asked me to wait here for you, in case you got here before he did." The older woman tucked her hands into her sleeves and gave her daughter a gentle smile. "He wanted you to wait until he arrived – he thinks it will be safer if you go in with him, Azula." The princess stared at her speechlessly. "So why don't we go over here and wait together for him?" Ursa suggested, indicating a mossy spot of ground. "I'm sure he won't be long."
"He's really coming?" Azula was amazed. "The way he and his waterbender were talking, I thought he wasn't going to." She let her mother take her arm and lead her over to the mossy spot. "Did he say why he changed his mind?"
Ursa shook her head. "Not to me." She sat down and drew her daughter down beside her. "Now, tell me what's happened. You're to be crowned Fire Lord, and your brother is safe – Avatar Aang told me that much. So what's going on? The Avatar seemed to think that you and Ty Lee had been thrown into prison?"
Azula's lips quirked. "That's partly true. Mai did have Ty Lee and I locked up in the prison tower overnight. She doesn't want me to get my firebending back, and she thinks I need contact with the Avatar for that." She looked up at the cave. "I'm not completely sure what's going on, to be honest, Mother. But I do know that Mai and her council think they can control me and rule the Fire Nation through me. Mai would take the throne herself if she had enough of great-grandfather Sozin's blood in her, but she's only a second cousin. No one would follow that diluted a strain."
"Ah." Ursa thought for a moment. "And she's chosen you over your brother because you don't have your firebending? Or does she have some other reason?"
"I would think she believes that makes me easier to control. That, and I imagine she's still a bit upset with him over what happened between her and Zuko in Gaoling," Azula said coolly. "Mai likes to pretend that she's doing everything she does because it's the best for the nation, and all that sort of nonsense, but I'm sure she likes power and revenge just as much as the rest of us."
Deep golden eyes met Azula's. "And is that why you're trying to get your firebending back, my lamb?" came the soft voice. "Power and revenge?"
"No. At least, not entirely." The princess examined her nails. "I admit the thought of wearing Father's crown and paying certain people back for what they've done appeals to me a bit. But no. They're not the most important thing to me anymore." She looked down the path that led up to the crown of the mountain, but could see no one traveling it yet. "Mostly, I want to be able to defend myself, and defend Ty Lee. At the moment I really have no cards to play, and no leverage. With my firebending, I'd be in a much stronger position. I could protect us…right now, the only protection we've really got is Mai's goodwill, and that's already proved to be a bit inconsistent." She looked back at Ursa. "I can't leave her to the whims of that damnable council."
Her mother smiled a bit and lowered her head. "I can understand that," she said. "I couldn't let your father's whims destroy your brother." She regarded her daughter pensively. "But perhaps I let them destroy you."
"I'm not destroyed." Azula glanced grimly down the path. "Not yet."
She heard Ursa sigh. Then a hand was laid on her arm. When Azula looked back, she found the woman gazing at her in gentle entreaty. "Azula, are you absolutely sure that you want to go through with this?"
The princess raised a brow slightly. "Do I really strike you as the kind of woman who would do something like this on the spur of the moment, Mother?" she asked. "I can't do what I need to do while I'm still lacking pieces of who and what I am. And since this is what the Avatar says I have to do to get those pieces back, this is what I have to do. It's worth the risk to me. Or do you know something I don't?"
"No. I don't, lamb." Her mother took her hands and held them. "I just don't want to lose you. This is dangerous."
"So are a lot of things, lately." Azula sighed. "I'm not backing down on this." Ursa searched her face for several moments, and then dropped her head in resignation. There was silence.
The sound of crunching rocks drew the women's attention. Both turned to see a young man hurrying up the mountain toward them. His yellow and orange clothing and prominent tattoos identified him immediately. Azula rose to her feet and stood straight as he hurriedly approached. As he reached her, she dropped a formal bow. "Avatar Aang," she said quietly. "I didn't expect you to come."
"No?" The young monk gave a wavering smile. "Well, the gang and I talked about it for a while. Katara and Zuko thought I shouldn't help you, Toph thought I should, and everyone else was kind of undecided." He scratched his ear. "Then Mai got wind of things, and I guess you know what happened." Azula nodded, and he looked at her uncertainly. "Are you…well, are you all right? You and Ty Lee? We heard they've locked both of you up."
"We're all right," Azula said. "Mai had us imprisoned in the tower overnight. Supposedly it's to keep me from having contact with you." She shrugged and raised her brows. "Naturally, it doesn't have anything to do with reminding me what she's capable of doing to me if she chooses."
Aang shrugged uneasily. "I don't know about that," he said. "But anyway, I'm here, and you're here. And you, too, Lady Ursa." He smiled at Azula's mother. "Thanks for getting her to wait for me."
The woman bowed gravely. "You're welcome, Avatar Aang," she said. "If you can get my daughter through this ordeal safely, I'll be the one thanking you."
"Yeah. That." The young monk rubbed the back of his neck and looked from her to the princess. "I don't really think my being here takes all the danger out of it for you, Azula. Dragons kind of do what they do, and they don't ask permission from anybody," he said. "I think it'll help, because they already know who I am, but…" Aang shrugged helplessly.
Azula inclined her head. "You haven't misled me," she said calmly. "You've been very forthright as to what I'm facing. I understand this may cost me my existence; that's a risk I'm willing to take." She glanced at her mother, and then at the looming mouth of the cave. "If you both don't mind, I'd like to get this over with," she said. "Ty Lee's alone in a prison cell waiting for me. I don't want to keep her waiting any longer than I have to."
"Of course you don't." Ursa suddenly caught her daughter up in a fierce hug. Azula had to bite back an undignified yelp of surprise, but didn't struggle. She felt a kiss plant itself on the top of her head. "Be careful, my lamb," her mother said softly. "May Agni's fire light your path."
Tears stung Azula's eyes for the first time since she'd come. She screwed her eyes shut and inhaled deeply. "I will, Mother. I already promised Ty Lee I would be," she murmured, squeezing the woman gently in return. "Thank you." Then, before the lump in her throat could become a problem, Azula pushed away and looked Aang in the eye. "Come, Avatar. Let's go." He nodded solemnly, and the two of them headed into the gaping maw of the cavern.
It was very dark, and it grew steadily darker as they moved farther and farther away from the light. Azula shivered; Spirit World or not, the chill in the air had an effect on her. When I could firebend, I was never cold, she mused. Then again, I hear that no one can bend here. Maybe it wouldn't make any difference. The blackness grew more and more oppressive, until finally she stopped walking. "I can't see," she said quietly. "I think we'd better find a wall to guide us."
"I think you're right," Aang agreed. "But don't worry. It won't be like this for long, Azula."
"You've been here before?" The princess found a cold stone wall with her fingers and began to walk again, slowly, trailing her hand along it. "What occasion brought you here, Avatar? Do you often need to commune with dragon spirits?"
"Not often." The young monk chuckled. The sound was a strange one in the frigid darkness of the earth. "I've actually only been here once. I came right after Roku told me that this was where you'd have to go, and I talked to the dragons a little bit then." Azula heard his steps shuffling along behind her. "I didn't want to send you any place where I wouldn't go myself," he explained.
"Why help me? Why don't you want to destroy me?" Azula asked bluntly. "Your Water Tribe girl seems to. Why don't you hate me?"
There was silence for a while. "Well, I think I've said this to you before, but I believe everyone deserves a chance," Aang said finally. "And I don't believe anyone has the right to destroy another living being. We're all on the same cosmic journey, in the same karmic cycles. What right do I have to decide who should live and who should die? That's why I didn't kill your father. It's also why I'm helping you." He paused. "And Katara doesn't hate you. She just doesn't trust you, and she thinks you'll use your power to hurt other people."
The princess lifted her brows, even though she knew he couldn't see it in the darkness. "And you don't think that?"
"I don't know," Aang said simply, "but I'm willing to give you a chance. I think you have the capacity to do a lot of great things, Azula, just like you have the capacity to do a lot of evil. You're the only one who can make that choice."
"I've chosen Ty Lee," Azula said flatly. "All this talk of good and evil is secondary to me. I'll do what it takes to keep her from getting hurt, whatever that entails."
There was a pause. "That's not necessarily a bad thing," he said at last, "but it's kind of a volatile one, Azula. The ultimate good lies in letting go of all earthly attachments. That's where real purity of spirit happens. It's one of the hardest lessons I ever had to learn, but I finally did learn it."
Azula snorted. "Forgive me for doubting the wisdom of the almighty Avatar, but that girl is the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I'm not willing to lose her. Ty Lee is all the purity I need." She nearly tripped over a rock, and swallowed a curse. "Besides, I'm a has-been puppet monarch, not a priestess. Don't ask me to let go of the one thing that's kept me sane…that made me sane in the first place."
"I'm not asking you to let go of anything," Aang said gently. "I just told you a truth. What you decide to do with it is up to you."
Azula rolled her eyes. "Monks," she said scathingly.
The floor of the cavern was sloping steeply downward, now, and – if Azula's sense of direction was accurate – screwing down into the earth like a spiral stair. She had no idea what distance they'd traveled. It was difficult to gauge the passage of time, but she thought they'd been walking for nearly half an hour. The air, oddly, was pure and clean. It smelled of smoke, like the remnants of a bonfire. She sniffed at it curiously. There was something…odd…about the scent. It was almost metallic.
It was then that she noticed the faint glow of light. It was all around them, seemingly without source. She could barely make out the cavern ahead of them. If she looked back, she could see where Aang was. As they continued, the light grew brighter, until finally it was like broad daylight. Still the cavern was empty, and there was no source for the light that she could see. "What is this?" Azula asked suddenly. Aang looked at her quizzically, and she indicated the cave with a sweep of her arm. "The light. There aren't any torches, or glowing crystals, or windows, but…how?"
He smiled. "This is the Spirit World, Azula. Things don't work the same way here as they do in our world," he said. "Light and dark, earth and air, even life and death are different here. This isn't just light – it's light's essence." Azula scowled at him, and he shrugged easily. "I can't really explain it better than that."
"All right," she growled. "Then can you explain where all the damn dragons are?"
"Farther on." The young man pointed ahead. "We'll come to a fork in this tunnel soon, and there'll be a really big cavern on our right. They said they'd be waiting for you there, Azula. It'll be soon."
She sighed and resumed walking. This is getting on my nerves, she admitted to herself. All this anticipation, all the buildup…I just want to get this over with, and find out whether I'm going to live or not. It's as bad as waiting to be hanged in that cell in Gaoling. Worse, even, since I don't know what's going to happen. "What did the dragons mean when they talked about finding me worthy?" she asked. "What does a dragon consider of worth?"
"That I don't know," Aang admitted. "I've only ever done something like this once, and I never really knew what the dragons were reacting to then. They're pretty much the essence of fire, though…I think they resonate to that, somehow. But I don't know."
"Great. So no one can even give me a hint as to what they'll do." Azula's lips tightened. "I'm sure I love surprises as much as anyone else, but I'd at least like to feel like I'm not walking into this completely blind."
"I'm sorry, Azula," he said quietly. "But I just honestly don't know."
There was silence again after that. They walked on together, each lost in their own thoughts. Then, with a suddenness that was almost shocking, they came upon the fork in the tunnel. Azula stopped and gazed at it. To their left, the tunnel continued on, winding its way through the bedrock like a massive worm. To their right yawned the maw of a cavern that dwarfed her – and that she suspected would have dwarfed the palace she had once lived in, if not the entire city. Azula swallowed hard. The cave looked empty, but she could feel something there…a sense of movement, of anticipation, of strength. She looked at the airbender, who was watching in silence. "Is this it?"
Aang nodded. "Yes," he said softly. "That's where they're waiting for you."
Azula took a deep breath. She had a lot of courage, but the thought of facing these creatures made her nervous. She drew herself up and met Aang's gaze again. "If I don't make it back," she said, "will you try to make sure Ty Lee's safe?"
The young monk nodded with a sweet smile. "Of course, Azula," he said. "But you'll come back."
Just as stupidly naïve as Ty Lee, Azula thought sourly. She should have been an airbender, if they're all like him. "Thank you," was all she said. Then, straightening her shoulders like a soldier, Azula strode into the imposing cave.
It was massive. The sheer size of the place made Azula feel as insignificant as an ant. She turned her steps toward what she thought looked like the middle of the cavern. She still couldn't see anyone or anything else inside, but kept seeing flashes of movement and color out of the corners of her eyes. There was something there, she knew – probably many somethings – but nothing showed itself. It made her very nervous. Scowling, Azula finally came to a halt. The silence was deafening. She waited for a minute or two, but nothing happened. Azula finally cleared her throat. "Hello?" Her voice seemed to be swallowed up by the impassive stone. She tried again." Is anybody here? The Avatar told me to come. He thought someone here might help me." Silence. "Please," Azula said softly. "I'm Princess Azula of the Fire Nation. Dragon ancestors, I need your help."
We know who you are, mortal woman. And we are no ancestors of yours. It wasn't so much a voice as a booming thought that echoed through Azula's mind. Suddenly the air was full of color and movement – twisting serpentine bodies, magnificent wings, and deep, ancient eyes. Azula found herself at the center of what seemed like an endless sea of huge creatures. There were red scales, and green, and blue; nearly every color she could think of was represented here. They ranged in size from that of a mongoose-lizard to the size of small buildings.
The most massive dragons had arranged themselves in a ring around Azula. One of them lowered his huge head – his mouth alone was large enough to swallow an ostrich-horse in a single gulp – until his eyes were level with hers. His scales were a deep, burnished bronze, like the color of old gold. Tell us, little mortal. His tone was harsh and mocking. Why should we waste our generosity on the spawn of the man who thought he could wipe us out?
And Azula, staring stupidly into the ancient, alien eyes of the dragon, could think of nothing to say.
