The next morning, after Punk checked into a hotel late on the previous night, he sat awake in bed, lying himself, having barely an hours sleep under his belt, thinking about things. Having so much thoughts racing through his head.
He didn't want AJ to feel trapped in a life she didn't want to live, he wouldn't wish that on anyone. He still felt strongly about her lies, and never once thought about tempting her back into his life. Yet he was still suspicious about Jeremy. His words were not all that believable, and he wondered what would be so wrong with a man, to stick by a woman who had ran away from him for eight years. It confused him. But he guessed it was none of his business now. All he had to do was be the best father he could be, and focus on his boxing.
As much as Erica wanted to beg him, his decision was final from the minute he heard about AJ's estranged husband. He wanted no part of her life anymore, besides the obvious visit here and there whilst taking the twins to her when she was fully recovered from her injuries.
It didn't seem like her to give up so easily. But maybe it was because everyone had seemed to have given up on her. What did she really have left? She clearly didn't want to be with Jeremy, and a part of him felt sympathy for her, but the other part of him thought she deserved to be trapped after lying to him. He gave her the world, everything she ever wanted. He even miraculously gave her two beautiful kids after her diagnosis of not being able to have kids. What urged her to keep this lie going for as long as it had? He didn't think he'd ever get that answer.
He got up and took a long, hot shower, trying to waken himself up the best he could. He assumed AJ would wake today. He wanted to make sure she was ok when she woke, and that she knew he had been and visited, then he planned to go back to Vegas to see the twins, not wanting to leave them with Chaleen for too long.
Meanwhile at the hospital, Erica had already arrived, just in time as AJ began to come around to her senses, her eyes opening to view the bright room, her head aching, her body barely being able to move. She had never been in so much pain like this. This wasn't her plan. Her plan was to feel nothing at all after the crash, but here she still was.
"April... April, are you ok?" Erica said with a hopeful smile as the nurse lightly nudged her back.
"Don't crowd her." The nurse whispered to Erica, "April... April, you're in the hospital. You were in a car accident, but you're ok." The nurse explained as AJ looked around the room, "You've got a fractured skull but you're going to be fine." The nurse nodded positively as AJ lay still, not wanting to move her head in any nodding signals from the pain.
"We've up the strength of your pain relief, should begin to kick in soon. I'll leave you with your sister, just buzz if you need me, I'll be around later to see how you are, we can discuss you moving to a different room and out of ICU." The nurse smiled as AJ lay still, the nurse heading out of the room to leave Erica with her sister.
"What were you thinking?" Erica shook her head, folding her arms and sitting down on the chair next to the bed, "While mom isn't here... was this... April, was this deliberate?" Erica asked.
"I don't want to be here, Erica." AJ sighed, a warm tear running down her cheek as she shut her eyes.
"Please, don't say that." Erica sighed, "Things are just tough, they'll get better." Erica tried to convince her sister who shook her head slowly and lightly.
"No... no, things will just get worse." AJ said, sighing to herself as she shut her eyes back over, the brightness of the room hurting her head.
"Phil is here." Erica said, watching AJ open her eyes immediately.
"He is?" AJ asked with hope.
"He visited last night. I assume he'll be back again today. Jeremy met him." Erica said as AJ sighed with fear of what happened between both men.
"They didn't kill each other did they?" AJ asked.
"No... with looks? Maybe. But no." Erica said, "This is a really big mess, April." Erica said, "What did you think? If you just killed yourself everything would be fine? What about Dylan and Heidi? They need their mother." Erica said.
"They have Punk." AJ shrugged, "They don't need me."
"Don't be so stupid. Of course they need you. Stop wishing for him back and focus on the things you still have. How could you get in that car, knowing you'd never see your childrens face again?" Erica shook her head.
"I wasn't thinking, Erica. Ok... I'm scared, I... I'm alone." AJ expressed.
"You aren't alone." Erica shook her head, taking her sisters hand, "Despite Phil being mad at you, where is he? He's here." Erica reminded her.
"Only because he has to be." AJ rolled her eyes.
"No, because he wanted to know if you were ok." Erica said, "He still loves you." Erica said as AJ shook her head unconvinced.
"Then why won't he understand why I done what I done." AJ said.
"April, I don't even understand why you lied to him." Erica admitted.
"No one understands." AJ shook her head, taking her hand from her sisters grip, "No one understands anything. I'm back where I was, where I ran from. I'm in this relationship I don't want to be in, I'm trapped. The man that I actually love hates my guts, and my kids are miles away. Why wouldn't I get in my car and attempt to end things?" AJ said as Erica sighed.
"I know how strong you are." Erica said, "You have to be strong, to get through all of this. For Dylan and Heidi. Do it for them." Erica said as AJ let go of a few more tears.
Just the thought of her babies at home. Their little fingers and toes. Their giggles and smiles. Their cool, tiny palms resting on her chest while they cuddled into her at night. She missed them so much, and now she was glad she was here, because she wanted nothing more to hold them again.
Over the course of the day, visitors came and gone, from Erica, to her mom, to Jeremy, who she pretended she was too tired to talk to for the majority of the visit. She couldn't stand the feeling of Jeremy holding her hand. There was no spark or excitement like the way she felt when Punk gripped her hand tightly. Her hand just lay lifeless in his when it came to him.
But the night had surely ticked around, and just as she was about to settle down to close her eyes, dreaming sweet thoughts of Dylan and Heidi to drift her off, she heard the door creak open.
She opened one eye, looking over as she seen him standing at the door, opening both eyes and sitting up slightly, forgetting she had just put her body through a violent car crash, sinking back down into comfort as he walked in. It felt like a relief to see him. He no doubt didn't feel the same, but she didn't really care.
"Hey." He nodded awkwardly, walking closer to her with his hands in his jean pockets, standing awkwardly at the side of the bed as she looked up at him.
"Hi." AJ whispered, watching as he stared into her eyes.
"How you feeling?" He asked, slowly taking a seat beside her bedside, noticing how stiff she seemed, how uncomfortable and sad she looked.
"I've felt better." AJ told him, "You um..." She figeted with her hands nervously, "You didn't have to come." She said, wondering how their relationship had gotten to this. Why did she feel so awkward around him? Why did he look so awkward around her? She had ruined them. She'd ruined what they had as a couple. That chemistry and connection. Her lie had ruined it all.
"We both know I did." Punk said, "April, please don't tell me you did this to yourself." Punk looked down at the ground, swallowing his emotions as she rested her head back on the pillow.
"What is it to you?" She asked.
"What is it to me?" Punk repeated, looking up at her, "I love you, you stupid woman." Punk spat as she turned away from him, "What? You thought cause I was pissed off with you? That I can't trust you anymore... you thought that would stop me from loving you?" He shook his head.
"If you love me, why are you doing this?" AJ asked him with a defeated sigh.
"Doing what?" Punk asked like she was stupid.
"Shutting me out. Telling me we're over." AJ said.
"We are over." Punk said, "I'm always going to love you, April. But... I don't want to be with someone who thinks it's ok to lie about something like that. Who thinks they can string me along like an idiot." He shook his head.
"That wasn't what I was doing, Phil." AJ replied, "You don't understand. No one understands." AJ sighed frustratedly.
"I do." Punk said, "He isn't divorcing you." Punk said as she looked across at him, "You're stuck with him." Punk said, "And do you want to know why? Because you played the man that actually cared about you along, and now you're being punished for lying to him." Punk told her as she stared into his honest eyes, so deep and green.
"But I don't want to be with him. I want to be with you." AJ said, "Please, Phil... don't leave me with him." She choked, practically begging him, "I can't stand it here... I need you." She cried as Punk sat back on the chair.
"I can't divorce him for you." Punk told her, "And even if I could, I don't think I would. This is your mess. You said I do eight years ago. And you ran." Punk told her, "Maybe... maybe what's best is if... if you stay here with him." Punk shrugged, "He seems decent, you have your family here..." Punk spoke, noticing as he spoke the haunting expression appearing on AJ's face, "I can pay for flights for you to see the kids, we can work out something with them so we can both see them." Punk shrugged, "Maybe it's best. So I can move on." He said.
"No... no, you can't leave me with him. He'll never let me leave... Phil, please... you don't know what he's like." AJ cried, shaking her head as tears sprang from her eyes, "Please, Phil."
"It's what feels right." Punk told her, ignoring the fact that seeing her breaking heart was tearing him to shreds. But he had to be brutally honest with her. Unlike her, he didn't believe in lying.
"For you maybe." AJ said, "I can't stay here with him, Phil. He doesn't let be breathe... he doesn't make me happy. This is exactly why I left in the first place, to get away from him and everything around us." AJ explained, "Please... don't leave me here with him. I don't care if you don't want to be with me, just please, I can't stay here any longer." She cried as Punk shook his head, standing up as she watched him.
"It'll be ok." Punk said, leaning forward and pressing a kiss on her head as she sobbed, "You'll be ok here." He whispered, trying his best to convince her and himself, turning away from her as her sobs echoed the room. She could beg and cry all she liked, but this was none of his business anymore. What seemed right was her staying put here with her family, and her husband. While he stayed in Vegas with the twins, focusing on his boxing, occasionally taking a trip back and forth to drop the twins off here.
"Phil... please... please, don't make me stay here." AJ cried, watching him head for the door, opening it and pausing as he looked back over his shoulder, taking in the painful sight, convincing himself it was all her own fault. He wasn't taking the blame for her sadness. What about his sadness? He was the one that had been lied to all this time.
"You know..." He whispered, "Saying goodbye to my wife was easier than this." He confessed to her. And saying goodbye to his wife was the toughest thing he thought he'd ever have to do.
AJ watched as he turned back and left the room, leaving her completely broken and helpless. A small part of her still believed he would rescue her from this unwanted life, but he'd given up on her. He'd given up on her so much, that he didn't even seem to care about her feelings anymore. She'd never felt so broken and alone in her entire life.
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