Chapter 55: Road Trip

"Ack. Bunny. You joke."

"No. North. I don't. Jack Frost is a bloody miscreant and I say we melt his frosty hind-quarters, re-freeze him in an ice cube tray, and feed him to the yetis!"

"Urghwrg!" the yetis objected.

"Fine." revised Bunny. "The elves."

Dingle the elf jingled. He was okay with that.

"Bunny." North soothed as Sandman wagged his finger. "Jack is in Fantasia. It is as you said – we do not guard Fantasia, and we cannot keep playing this merry-go-roundy with Jack. The children of Otherland need our protection."

"North!" Tooth called. She batted the mini-fairies buzzing around her. "North come look at the globe!"

"Tooth." North pleasantly chastised. "Can't you see we are trying to argue?"

"But—!" Tooth pointed. "The globe! There's a strange – "

"We haven't seen hide nor hair of Pitch." Bunny interrupted, resuming the argument. "And the Otherland kids are fine – hunky dory. Hasn't been a battle in days. But Jack can't keep running around Fantasia like a bloody show pony! You remember the last time we tried to collaborate with the Fantasian guardians – "

"Jack Frost." North reminded sadly. "Is not yet a guardian. He refuses still."

Sandman wiped a tear.

"North!" Tooth urged, hands pressed to the globe. "North get over here – "

"I'm not suggesting we include Jack as guardian." Bunny clarified. He hopped sideways as Sandman whisked by to join Tooth. "I'm saying we put him in his place. Get Jack out of Fantasia before he makes a mess that we have to clean up!"

"North!" Tooth pleaded as Sandman flashed an exclamation point over his head. "North! Seriously something is wrong – "

"Bunny! Is better to focus on current situation!" North spanked Bunny with his sabre. "Finding Pitch!"

Furiously, Bunny rubbed his rump. "Pitch isn't here mate! We've combed the Otherland! You must've been seeing things!"

"HA! North does not see things! Vision – 20 and 20!"

"Then what's with the half moon glasses?"

"Is for show! Gives character!"

"Oh kinda like the belly full of jelly?"

"ACK! Do NOT insult the belly!"

"North the belly can't talk!"

"The belly talks! She KNOWS!"

"I think you've been drinking too much eggnog mate –"

"North!" Tooth shrieked as Sandman flung a ball of dreamsand. "Bunny! WE HAVE A PROBLEM!"

Aggravated, North and Bunny whipped about into a face full of dreamsand. As the dreamsand diffused into their subconscious, North and Bunny staggered sleepily beneath golden images sparkling over their heads.

"Ooo..." North pawed groggily at dreamsand peppermint sticks. "Cannnnnnndy cannnnnnnes!"

To his left, Bunny grinned googly-eyed at dancing carrots. Dreamily, the two guardians bumped, collapsed, and fell sound asleep – dreaming of candy canes and carrots.

"Nice shot Sandy." Tooth gestured at the snoring bodies. "It'll be hours before they wake up."

Sheepishly, Sandman shrugged. Oops.

"It's fine. Fine, fine, fine. But look..." Tooth floated beneath the globe. As Sandman followed her to the Fantasian side, she touched a little light.

"Look Sandy. This light represents a child. A child of the Otherland." Tenderly, Tooth traced the light. The dot shivered under her nail. "This child is in Fantasia. And the light isn't gold. It's red."

Tooth searched Sandman's grim expression.

"Sandy? Does that mean this child...needs our help?"

Sandman frowned. Gingerly, he brushed the red light.

He could almost hear the child's plea.

Yes. Sandman nodded. A golden compass materialized over his head. The arrow spun west.

An Otherland child needs our protection. We are going to Fantasia.

Tooth's muscles tensed. Her wings sharpened, ready for flight and ready to kick butt.

"Okay." Grinding her fists, Tooth approached the slumbering North and Bunny. "I'll wake up the boys."


...


Sinbad strummed his goatee.

"How old do you think she is?"

Tulio glanced at Miguel. Miguel glanced at Dimitri. Dimitri glanced at Vlad. Vlad glanced at Marina.

Marina rolled her eyes. She zipped the rope about Sinbad's waist. "Really don't care Sinbad. But either way she's too young for you. Much younger than your skanky wife."

Sinbad grunted as the rope dug into his skin. Fidgeting, he hefted the three grappling hooks slung over his shoulder. Okay, so Marina wasn't warming to the idea of Sarah. Whatever. That meant he was irresistible or Marina was just a drama queen. Probably a little of both, but mostly the former. Sinbad had to admit: he was pretty darn cute.

"Well somebody's Miss Cranky this evening. Okay fine." Sinbad turned starboard. "I'll ask the dunce-caps instead. Hook? Ruber? Pitch-a-roony? How old do you think you're little she-captive is?"

Pitch, Ruber, and Captain Hook glowered at Sinbad. Telepathically they all mutilated him in the most painful way possible.

Then, Pitch glanced to the Jolly Roger's mainsail. Ruber's captives, the girl Kayley and magician Schmendrick, were bound thickly to the mast. Apathetically Pitch studied the girl. He smiled when Kayley met his gaze and growled through her gag.

"Why does her age matter?" Pitch crooned, blowing Kayley a kiss. A nightmare blew from his breath, and as it attacked Pitch watched Kayley's memory unfold. A severed head – flakey dry eyes – a spinal cord hanging from a hacked throat – Sir Lionel – her father.

Sinbad withheld a compassionate shudder. He had spied on Kayley since boarding the Jolly Roger. It had only been a few hours, but in that time Sinbad had caught Kayley crying. Twice. And glimpsing the memory of her father's death, Sinbad didn't blame her. That was cruel – even for a psychopathic murder like Ruber.

Forcing himself to ignore Kayley's nightmare, Sinbad returned to Pitch.

"You really like to amuse me, don't ya Pitch? Okay buddy. I'll tell you why her age matters – "

"And I'm sure it will be exhilarating." Pitch sarcastically said.

"Oh it IS Pitchy. It is at that. Tell me..."

Absently Sinbad twirled a hand. "What if I told you that Ruber's captive – Kayely – looks like she's under 18? What if I explained that anyone under 18 in the Otherland, is considered a child? What if I further explained that children of the Otherland are granted magical protection from the Otherland guardians? And, what if I finally mentioned..."

Sinbad jerked his head towards the moon. "...I thought I heard sleigh bells?"

Miguel blinked. "I don't get it."

Dimitri groaned. "Santa Clause is coming to town, genius."

Half of The Princess's crew brightened. "Santa?!"

"Guys." Sinbad hissed. "Zip it! We're on the naughty list."

"Aw."

Pitch was less appalled than Sinbad hoped. Quite the contrary: he looked delighted.

"So the guardians are coming to protect our dear little Kayley, are they?"

Pitch rolled to the mast. Languidly he stuck a finger inside Kayley's nightmare, pausing the memory. Then, with a twist, the memory changed. Sir Lionel's skin split from the seams; spiders crawled from his orifices; insides splurged out.

Sinbad stiffened as Kayley sobbed. Captain Hook's crew cheered, and they threw pieces of rope to mimic spiders jumping into her face. Unable to watch, Sinbad settled his gaze on Schmendrick battering lividly beside Kayley.

"Pitch." Sinbad whispered. "She gets it. Before you wake all of Fantasia with her screaming – that's enough."

Pitch released. He fondled the nightmare as Kayley slumped into her ropes.

"So. North, Bunny, Tooth, and Sandy are coming to the rescue." Pitch stroked the nightmare. "Good. My plan involves killing one of them anyway. Let -The -Games-Begin."

"Talking -Statically -Does-Not- Make-You - Creepier." Sinbad mocked. Impatiently, he tugged his lifeline. "Come on Pitch. I'm ready. We've already been sighted by the Fantasian Coast Guard. There isn't much time before Triton comes after us. Let's get this show on the road. Remember my two favorite words..."

Sinbad pretended to swing a baseball bat. "Bombs away."

"Brilliant." Pitch sauntered between Ruber and Captain Hook. "Explain your strategy Sinbad."

Sinbad secured his scimitar strap. "It's simple. A four-year-old could understand my plan for invading Fantasia – so Ruber, you might need additional explanations later tonight."

Ruber growled. Sinbad flashed a cheesy smile that he hoped implied'I am going to kill you someday.'

"Any-hoo." Sinbad continued, pointing towards the mountainous shore. "See that gigundo cliff? The shiny iridescent one? Fantasia School for the Magically Skewed is built into that cliff. Looks like they added another castle around the school, but that doesn't matter. Inside the school, there is a swimming pool. The pool drains into underground water tunnels. Those tunnels drain to here, the North Fantasian Sea."

Sinbad raised his grappling hooks. "These hooks are connected to my lifeline. Once I get through the underground tunnels, I'll anchor this baby inside the school. Pitch – you will be able to climb your evil little hiney all the way inside Fantasia."

Captain Hook added. "With the assistance of my mermaids, Misses Lana and Cordelia. They will expedite your journey. Ladies - introduce yourselves."

Sinbad glanced over the haul. The two beautiful mermaids with hideous empty eyes giggled and waved.

"Each to his own." Sinbad murmured, turning to Pitch. "Once you are in Fantasia you can find your merry way under the beds or whatever the Hell you plan to do. Somehow Triton is evaded and Captain Hook attacks – bam. After that, Ruber attacks – bam. Hopefully Drago attacks with the Vikings – bam. Then you attack – bam, bam, bam. People scream, people die, blood flows like wine, you get the king, you get the four cauldron people, and I escape with Sarah no questions asked. Right?"

Pitch's eyes gleamed. "As long as you don't escape permanently, then yes. Your strategy is perfect. Just remember Sinbad: No running away."

Pitch leaned as Sinbad raised a brow. "Are we clear, Sinbad?"

Sinbad peered. No running away? Well that was a weird and coincidental statement, considering 'running away' was exactly his intent. It was almost as if Pitch knew he was planning to...

Sinbad's stomach dropped. Pitch knew. Pitch knew he planned to abandon ship (pun intended). Pitch knew. Darn it!

Furiously Sinbad looked back. A gaggle of his crew (the alleged 'TEAM SINBAD' members) recoiled under his glare. Sinbad searched. Someone had snitched. Somewhere amidst this loyal gathering, there hid a traitor.

Sinbad burned into every face. His eyes flicked from Tulio, to Miguel, to Marina, to Dimitri, to Eret, to Vlad. Finally, he just gave up.

'WHO TOLD?' Sinbad mouthed.

Tulio panicked. Miguel and Dimitri stared slack-jawed. Vlad and Eret pointed questionably at each other. Marina irritably sucked a cheek.

"Sinbad." Pitch glided forward. "Something amiss?"

Inwardly Sinbad groaned. Great. They were playing the I-know-what-you're-up-to-but-I'm- going-to-pretend-not-to-noticed-until-I-actually-catch-you game. Sinbad did not like that game. He was good at winning it – he just didn't like it. Waste of energy. Waste of time. Waste of space.

"Nope." Climbing onto the bulwark, Sinbad squared to the Fantasian coast. If he squinted, he could just discern the outline of a castle. "I'm ready for take-off."

"Lovely." said Pitch. "Lovely, lovely. Give me Fantasia Sinbad, and remember – your little princess is on the line."

Sinbad double knotted his bandanna. "Got it."

"Just one Fantasian Sinbad." Pitch reminded. "You may save just one."

Just one.

Sinbad paused. Suddenly – like a kick to the teeth – it occurred to him:

Jim was still alive. Sinbad had been so obsessed with rescuing Sarah, he'd forgotten about his baby boy.

Baby?

Seizing an overhanging shroud for balance, Sinbad swiftly calculated. How old was Jim now? What, the kid was eleven-ish when he left...how many years had it been since...ten? So that would make Jim...

Sinbad counted on his fingers (Math. Eh. Sarah's forte.).

Twenty-one. Astounded, Sinbad weighed his hand. Jim was twenty-one.

Huh.

Sinbad grimaced. Then he brightened. Then he grimaced. Then he brightened again.

Then he was emotionless.

So Jim was twenty-one. Manhood. That was...interesting.

Sinbad debated. He baffled. He decided he didn't know what to think.

Luckily, he didn't have the opportunity.

"Oh and Sinbad." Ruber drove his fist into Sinbad's low back. "Have a nice swim."

Sinbad crumpled. Lifeline swishing behind, he plunged into the Northern Fantasian Sea –

-and swam for Fantasia.


...

Big4girl poem:

What a fool Sinbad is, I know what he's doing to get what's his. Darling Sinbad can't lie to me, I've got a snitch that he couldn't possibly believe. The guardians aren't expecting my plan, I won't return to my darkness, my outcasting ban. I'll put Fantasia into the Dark Ages, I'll feed of their fear, their happiness in cages. I'll give them a world were everything is Pitch Black, it's just as you feared….I'm back.

...