Goren shifted in his sleep, raising a hand to his face. A sharp sting in the back of his hand roused him and he opened his eyes to find a small gray body clinging to his hand, claws dug in. When he gently drew her off his hand, she flipped and clung to the other one, chewing playfully on his finger. He looked at the time. "It's two in the morning, you little monster."

She answered with a quiet mew. Sighing softly, he got up from the bed and crossed the room to the bathroom. When he emerged a few minutes later, she was waiting for him, attacking his ankle. "Dammit, Storm..."

With what he imagined was the kitten equivalent of a snicker, she darted away. Leaving the bedroom door open in hopes she would hunt down Marcus, he headed to the kitchen for a drink. He was surprised to find the television on and Brian sitting at the dining table, nursing a bowl of oatmeal. "Brian?"

The young man turned to look at him. "Hey, Bobby." He shrugged. "I couldn't sleep. What's your excuse?"

"Guess."

"Hairball?"

He nodded and sat across from the young man. Tipping his head to the side, he caught Brian's eyes. "Is something else wrong?"

"Nah...not wrong, really. I was just thinking...about Mom."

"What about her?"

"Do you have any idea, really, what you've done for her?"

"I'm not sure I follow you."

"Where would she be if she didn't have you? You saw how she reacted when I moved to Chicago. I'm going a little further away this time, and there are no frequent flier miles for me to use."

"No matter how well prepared she thinks she's gotten, it won't be enough," he agreed, studying Brian with intense eyes. "Y-you seem to have...accepted it."

Brian nodded slowly. "Before he died, Pop taught me there are some things you can't change, so you just have to accept them. And from Dad's death I learned a hard lesson that life isn't fair. It deals you your lumps and you take 'em or they destroy you." He stirred his oatmeal to give himself a focus before looking up again. "You're having a hard time, aren't you?."

A few moments passed before he answered, "Yes."

Brian studied the big man closely. "Death's hard for you."

"Not usually. I deal with it all the time."

"That's different. You don't have a personal connection to the deaths you investigate. This time, there's no mystery to solve, no killer to prosecute. You have no focus, except my mother."

Goren studied his hands. "I...I don't know how to help her with this, Brian."

"You can't. But I want you to make me a promise, Bobby. Promise me that you'll never turn away from her, no matter how hard she pushes you. I want your word that her pain won't drive a wedge between you. I grew up without a dad, and I missed that. I saw other kids playing ball in the park Sunday afternoons, and I watched my friends running to give their dads hugs when they got home from work. I mean, I had my grandfathers, and they sure helped to fill the void, both of them. But neither of them was my dad, and I missed him, even if I don't really remember him. I don't want this little rugrat to know the same emptiness, even part-time. When he gets up in the middle of the night, he should have two bodies to snuggle down in between to chase away his nightmares."

Brian was smart and perceptive, a clear thinker, and the image those words drew in Goren's mind struck him. He understood the feelings the young man described very well, from the experiences of his own pain-filled and broken childhood. As an adult, he understood the difference a father could make in the life of a son or a daughter. He would not, ever, become the father that had been absent in his own life. "Don't worry, Brian. I'm not going anywhere. My baby is never going to ask why daddy never comes home."

Brian smiled. "If you're half the dad to your kid that you are to that cat, everything's gonna be roses."

With a quiet laugh, Goren got to his feet and went into the kitchen for the water he'd come downstairs to get, then he sat with Brian while he finished his oatmeal. He continued keeping the sick young man company in the living room. It was Brian's choice to watch a documentary about the Battle of Bull Run on the History Channel. With each day that passed, Goren found more reasons to like Brian, and he realized with a sinking feeling in his gut that losing him was going to be harder than he ever imagined it would be.


Barb rolled over to snuggle into the warm body beside her, waking up when she found that he was missing. She looked at the time. Four o'clock. She was usually attuned to his nightmares, so she didn't think that was what had woken him.

Rising from the bed, she pulled on her robe and went downstairs. The television was the only light in the living room. Crossing to the couch, she smiled. Brian was asleep in one corner of the sofa, and Goren was sleeping in the other. Storm was curled up on his shoulder, snuggled into his neck. She lifted her little gray head and purred loudly. "Shhh," Barb whispered with a smile, stroking her gently.

She left the room and opened the hall closet, pulling out two blankets. Covering both men, she leaned down to give them each a kiss and headed back for the stairs, her hand resting on her lower abdomen, where she felt a flutter of movement, and she smiled.


Two weeks later, Brian showed up at the Major Case squad room, about a half hour before lunch. He spotted Goren and Eames at their desks and approached them. Eames spotted him first, reacting with a wide smile. "Brian, hi," she said.

Goren spun in his chair. "Hey," he said. "What brings you up here?"

"I had a doctor's appointment, and I kinda wanted to see if you were free for lunch. I need to talk to you."

"Uh..." He shifted his attention back to the stack of paperwork situated between the two desks. With a soft sigh, he looked at his partner, an unspoken question in his eyes.

"Go," she said, feigning annoyance.

He smiled. "Thanks, Eames."

"You owe me."

"At the rate we're going, I'll still be paying you back ten years after I die."

"Don't worry, Goren. I'll think of some way to break us even before then."

With a smile of appreciation, he got to his feet and grabbed his coat as he headed toward the elevators with Brian. The young man looked concerned. "She's not really mad at you, is she?"

"No. I'll bring her back a sandwich and we'll be square...until tomorrow."

Brian laughed. "Are she and Teddy coming over for Thanksgiving?"

"No. She spends the holidays with her family. But she'll come by later that night for coffee."

"Good enough."

They continued to exchange small talk until they arrived at the small diner a few blocks away that boasted the best comfort food in the city and got little argument from the cops who frequented the place.

After placing their lunch order, the conversation between them ceased for a few moments as Brian gathered his thoughts. Finally, he looked at the man his mother loved. "I, uh, I'm going to spend Friday in the hospital, Bobby."

Goren felt his gut clench. "Did they find something else?"

"No. I'm gonna start chemo."

"Chemo? I thought you decided against it."

"I did, but I changed my mind."

"Do you mind if I ask why?"

"That's why I'm here. To tell you what I'm thinking before I tell Mom. She's been a little...emotional lately."

Goren nodded. "It's the pregnancy."

"I figured as much...and that's why I decided to subject myself to chemotherapy." He hesitated as the waitress placed a glass of iced tea in front of him and a cup of coffee in front of Goren. Once she was gone, he continued, "I have accepted my fate; you know that. I'm dying, and I've made peace with that. I saw no reason to prolong the inevitable or to spend half of the time I have left puking my guts up and losing my hair. So I'm opting for a permanent crewcut and some additional medicine to buy myself a little more time."

"And your mom's pregnancy changed your mind?"

"Yeah. I decided I didn't want to spend eternity wondering if I had a brother or a sister." He chuckled softly at Goren's baffled look. "How reassuring is it for me that I can confuse the hell out of you like that?"

"That's what Eames tells me when she does it. What are you talking about, Brian?"

Brian watched Goren's impatience grow as the waitress showed up with their lunches. When they were alone again, he explained, "Two things, Bobby. First and most important, I may not know a whole lot about pregnancy, but I do know that stress is a bad thing. And I'm guessing my death is going to stress Mom out a helluva lot. Safe bet?"

"Yes."

"Okay. That would put both her and the baby at risk, and I can't do that if there's any way I can prevent it. So I asked my doctor if chemo would buy me enough time to see this pregnancy through, and he said it would. The second thing is...well, I really want to see this kid." He paused and mixed his green beans into his mashed potatoes. "Was Mom really worried that I might think this baby was a replacement for me?"

Goren shrugged. "I don't know what she was thinking. I quit trying to figure her out when she told me she was pregnant. I...I have a hard time understanding, uh, pregnancy hormones. Your mom never used to be irrational, and I have no idea what to make of her lately. Eames said it's normal, but that doesn't help much."

"So how far along is she?"

"Seventeen weeks."

Brian nodded his head slowly. "The chemo's gonna buy me six months to a year. That's time enough."

"I...I'm sorry, Brian."

"Sorry? For what?"

"I...didn't plan this."

"Hey, this stuff happens. And I really do want to be a part of it. So...thanks."

"For what?"

"For giving me a good reason to stick around a little longer."

When his face relaxed into a grin, Goren let himself smile at the young man. Maybe it was selfish, but he liked Brian a great deal and it made him glad to hear he'd opted for chemo. It was going to make Barb happy, and he was glad, too, that Brian would live for a little longer. It was going to be very difficult for him to say good-bye, and the longer it could be postponed, the better. Brian was perceptive; he did not deal with death well when it hit him close to home...and it didn't get much closer than this.