(A/N) I always get turned into a liar. Spring Break ended up being more hectic than it should have been. I feel like I need another one to recover. I've been suffereing from writer's block with this chapter for over a week. The next one will be the wedding, but I wanted a fun Jacob-y chapter before I got to all of that. This definitely isn't my best work, but I think it's fun. It's not really fluffy, just a lot of silliness. Just for the record I haven't forgotten our favorite Italian vamps...their time will come..lol.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I'm pitiful :(

Chapter 48

Jacob's POV

"You know," Jazz began, a twinge of annoyance coloring his voice, "it makes sense. Just when Rose stops acting like a pain in the ass you start up."

"I don't see what the problem is," I argued back. "I'm not trying to tell you not to go. All I'm saying is that it doesn't sound like something I'd be interested in."

Jazz stared back at me for a long moment, contemplating his next move in this bitter argument that had taken over our once pleasant conversation. When he'd first made mention of us throwing a vampiric bachelor party for Garrett I'd thought that he was just kidding. The joke ended up being on me, however, because Jasper was, pardon the pun, dead serious. What the hell did he think I was supposed to do at a vampire bachelor party? Did they even have bachelor parties back when Sir Garrett McBraggart still required oxygen? Shouldn't there be some kind of age limit on these things, you know, like anyone born pre-Civil War is exempt? I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that strip clubs were out, not that I would have particularly wanted to go to one anyway, and there wouldn't be any sort of beer drinking male bonding. The way Jasper had explained it to me, it sounded like an all-male hunting trip. Apparently Jazz thought this was a great idea, but I didn't see the appeal at all, especially when it was in honor of a guy that I wasn't exactly a fan of.

"You're being a spoilsport," Jasper spat. "It's just the guys going out and hanging out. People have bachelor parties all the time."

"Yeah," I rolled my eyes, "people do. Look, if you guys are all about going on a little hunting trip then have at it. I just don't see why I need to go. Mr. I-was-a-soldier-in-the-Revolutionary-War-before-your-great-great-great-grandfather-was-even-a-zygote probably wouldn't mind if I abstained, 'ignorant little snot' that I am.

"Oh please," Jasper rolled his eyes. "Did Garrett hurt ickle Jakey's feelings?"

"That's cute man," I rocked back in my seat as I raised an eyebrow at him. "You are a master of persuasion. Where do you get your skills?"

"Look Pocahontas," Jasper's tone was firm, "I know you and Garrett aren't particularly fond of one another, but it's a family thing and you are family so you're going, even if Emmett and I have to drag you out there kicking and screaming." He paused momentarily, "It's going to be great. Really. Just us guys getting back to nature, you know, getting in touch with our primal instincts."

"I don't know that that's such a good idea," I shook my head. "You start getting in touch with your primal instincts and it's going to end up on the news."

"You know what I mean," Jazz rolled his eyes. "Of course, if it's really that unappealing I'm sure you could stay here with Alice. I think she brought her waxing kit just for you."

I couldn't fight off an involuntary shudder as I thought of her last attempt to pull hair from my body with hot wax. Okay, maybe this boys night out wasn't such a bad idea after all.

"Fine," I dropped the chair back to the ground with a thud, "but I swear if someone breaks out a drum and starts trying to talk about their feelings I'm out of there."

The triumphant smirk on Jasper's face was almost enough to make me start up another round of arguments, but I forced myself to let it roll by. I'd had enough drama over the last two weeks to last me for a good, long while, and to continue arguing over something so unimportant required more energy than I wanted to expend. I really didn't get why Jasper was so insistent that I had to go with them. When I'd initially said 'no' he'd acted like a kid that had just gotten turned down for the prom. I couldn't blame him, however, for wanting me there. Someone had to be the life of the party and the other guys just didn't have it in them, literally.

"I knew you'd see it my way," Jazz reached out and punched me in the arm. Hard. "Be ready at sunset. We're going to howl at the moon tonight."

Great.

*~*~*~*~*

"What do you do at a vampire bachelor party?" Nessie raised her eyebrow as she looked over from her perch. "Are you guys just going hunting or something?"

"I guess," I shrugged. "Jazz seemed a little too enthusiastic to be going out in the woods with a bunch of guys, but that's just me. We're supposed to be 'male bonding'."

I could see Nessie trying to hide her smile, looking adorable in the process. Over the past two days she'd been in such a good mood. Her eyes danced even more than usual and her skin shone with a happy pink glow. As much as I disliked Blondie I had to admit that I was glad that they'd made up. Of course, Rosalie's feelings on the matter didn't affect me much, aside from the pity I felt for Emmett, but Nessie's feelings did and she had been hurting. I didn't expect the peace to last forever, but I hoped that it would last at least for a few days. I got the feeling that there might have been more to Nessie and Rosalie's conversation than she had divulged, but I didn't press the issue. She'd talk to me when she wanted to talk to me.

"So all of you guys are going?" Nessie asked.

"I think so," I nodded. "Even Eleazar and Carlisle are going to go with us. The whole thing might even be worth it if Carlisle cuts loose like the wild animal that we all know he is."

I couldn't help laughing at the thought. The distinguished Dr. Carlisle Cullen out like a mad man howling at the moon. As if that weren't funny enough, picturing Esme's face if she saw him was the icing on the cake. I might have gotten lost for a bit longer in my funny imaginings, but I looked up to see Nessie with a thoughtful expression dancing across her features.

"What is it?" I asked.

"It's nothing," she shook her head. My girl might have been good at a lot of things, but lying wasn't one of them. I tried again.

"Ness," I said gently, "if something is on your mind you have to let me know. It's not like I can read minds, or would be able to read yours even if I could."

"It's just," she sighed, "you said that all of the guys are going right?"

"Yeah," I nodded, slightly perplexed at why that might bother her, "Me, Jazz, Em, Edward, Carlisle, Eleazar, and Garrett the dill hole."

I expected her to make a sarcastic comment over my Garrett remark, I'd practically gift-wrapped it for her, but she didn't.

"And that's everyone?" She slightly emphasized the last word of her question. "All of the guys?"

"Well," I began, my mind racing, trying to figure out what she might be getting at, "I know Rosalie is more of a man than most of us will ever be, but I don't think she'd particularly want to come hang out with us for the evening."

"Jake," she shook her head, "you know that's not what I meant."

"Okay," I replied guiltily, "but in all fairness I'm not really sure what you did mean."

"Nahuel," she sighed in frustration. "Did any of you even think about inviting Nahuel?"

I immediately felt another pang of guilt because in all honesty the thought had never even crossed my mind, and I was pretty sure that it probably hadn't crossed Jasper or Emmett's either. It's not like it was a malicious exclusion. Since we'd been in Denali, Nahuel had spent most of his time with Alice, Bella, Nessie, and the other ladies of the house. I suppose it might be a bit pig-headed on our part, but in all fairness if you hang around with the girls you're going to get lumped with them. However, I knew Nessie wouldn't appreciate, nor share, those sentiments so I did the wisest thing a man can do in that situation and kept my mouth shut. My silence seemed to be enough to answer her question.

"Jacob," she sat the flower she'd just picked up back down and turned away from her arrangement. "I know it might be strange, but he is important to me. Nahuel would never want to make anyone feel uncomfortable, but I would hope that you guys would be open-minded enough that you could get past that."

God she was breaking out the sad brown eyes, which usually meant that I was going to be talked into doing something that wouldn't be particularly pleasant on my part.

"Do you think he'd even want to go?" I asked, playing my last hand. "I mean, he spends so much time with the girls that I guess we just assumed that he wouldn't be interested."

"Well even if he doesn't want to go it would still be nice if he were asked," Nessie replied. "Besides, maybe he would like some male-bonding in the woods." As soon as the sentence was spoken aloud her pink cheeks darkened to a deep scarlet and I could see the shock set in her eyes. "No," she stumbled across her words, "No, I didn't mean it like that. What I meant was-"

I couldn't contain my laughter at the look on her face. Of course I knew exactly what she'd meant, but the way it had come out, and the look on her face that had resulted from it, was absolutely priceless.

"Shut up," she grinned sheepishly as she turned back toward her floral arrangement, trying to hide her face. "It wasn't that funny."

"I beg to differ," I grinned as I slid off of my stool and walked up behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist and resting my chin on her shoulder. "You are way too cute when you get embarrassed."

I grinned to myself as I felt her ease back into my arms. Perhaps I had been able to avoid the unpleasantness that I had thought was imminent.

"So you'll do it," Nessie said after a moment, "You'll invite Nahuel out with you guys?"

Maybe not.

"Ness," I began slowly, trying to figure a way out of this. I opted for the only defense I had: responsibility shift. "You know Jasper is the one that is getting this thing together. Maybe you should have him ask Nahuel."

"Uncle Jazz isn't going to care if you invite Nahuel," she turned, her big brown eyes catching my own. "Please?" She asked softly.

Damn it! Why couldn't I have some sort of power like that over her? Was I doomed to lose every argument for the rest of eternity because I was a sucker for a pair of big brown eyes and a wonderfully pouty mouth? Imprinting definitely had its drawbacks. A light breeze escaped from the window and pushed her perfectly curled tendrils around her neck and a gentle smile played on her perfect mouth as she leaned up to give me a chaste peck on the lips. Yeah okay. Imprinting had some benefits, too.

"Okay," I relented, although in all fairness I probably would have agreed to about anything, "I'll invite Nahuel."

"Thank you," she squealed as she turned in my arms, wrapping her own around my waist. "Jacob you're the best."

Yup, I was a freaking prince.

*~*~*~*~

My day had started out so promising, but I'd soon discovered that fate was determined to make this day unpleasant. All I really wanted to do was hang out with Nessie and watch a movie or something. Instead, I was being dragged out into the woods with a bunch of vampires to do some 'male bonding', and to top that all off my girlfriend had just suckered me into taking a date. I was mandated to have a man-date. Thank god Quil and Embry didn't live inside of my head anymore. All I had to worry about was Leah and I knew how to keep her quiet. She had secrets, too.

I found Nahuel looking at some fabric with Kate, Alice, and Bella. It was stupid that I felt so awkward, but I couldn't help it. It wasn't like I was actually asking him out on a date. I mean, I was inviting him to a party. No big deal.

"Nahuel," I said after a moment of going unnoticed, "could I talk to you for a minute?"

Nahuel looked shocked that I had spoken to him, something that I hadn't done since we'd left Brazil, but his shock quickly melted into curiosity.

"Of course," Nahuel came to join me at the door.

"Is everything okay?" Bella, always the worrier, asked. "Is Renesmee-"

"No worries Bells," I cut her off before she could really get going. "Everything is fine."

Bella nodded at me, accepting that I was offering her the truth, as I turned to lead Nahuel out of the room. I didn't say anything until we found ourselves facing each other on opposite couches in a deserted room.

"So," I struggled to find the words, "How do you like Denali?"

I groaned internally as soon as the words were out, and I could tell that Nahuel was amused by my opening. I really needed to get a grip. I was putting too much thought into this. If it were any other guy I'd just be like, "Dude, you wanna hang out with the guys tonight? Bachelor party at sundown." However, this simple act seemed to elude me while I was trying to invite Nahuel.

"I'm enjoying it very much," Nahuel nodded, "but I'm sure that's not what you wanted to ask me."

"Yeah," I nodded, subconsciously running a hand through my hair, "I was just wondering what you were doing tonight."

I felt myself flush as my words came out all wrong and the Nahuel couldn't contain an amused smile anymore.

"Well Jacob," laughter tinted his voice, "this is really unexpected."

"I didn't mean-" I cut myself off, forcing myself to focus. I was Jacob Black for crying out. "The thing is," my voice came back sounding almost normal, "the guys are having a sort of bachelor party for Garrett and I was just inviting you."

"Are you asking me on a man date?" Nahuel teased.

"No!" I exclaimed, the awkwardness immediately flooding back through me. "I just, well, I'm inviting you. That's it."

"Relax Jacob," Nahuel laughed. "Did Renesmee put you up to this?"

"Yeah," I admitted. "It's not like we were going to leave you out intentionally. You just spend so much time with the girls that-"

"It's quite alright," Nahuel cut me off, thankfully saving me before my sudden case of verbal diarrhea could consume me once again. "I appreciate the offer, but I think I'll stick with the girls tonight."

"Oh," was my intelligent response. "Okay, if you really don't want to."

"Thanks again for asking," Nahuel replied.

"Sure, sure," I responded, the awkwardness evaporating. "No problem."

Nahuel really had made the whole thing easier than I'd thought, although I still couldn't figure out why it had been so awkward for me. You know, the more I was around him; the more I actually did like that guy.

~*~*~*~*~

Apparently bachelor parties did date back to Grandpa Garrett's heyday. Who friggin' knew?

"Of course they weren't particularly risqué back then," Garrett droned on with his story as we strode into the forest. "Just the men folk getting together at the local tavern trying to shake off those pre-Wedding jitters. Even during war time we'd try and do something to celebrate when one of the boys was getting married."

"I can remember doing stuff like that, too," Jasper nodded in agreement. "It was sort of nice break from everything that was going on around us."

What the crap, were they going to start holding hands in a minute while they skipped down memory lane together? Maybe Kate should be worried since Garrett was obviously so enamored with Jazz. How could she ever compare?

"My father," Carlisle cut in, "used to condemn stag parties in his church. He thought that the temptation to get rowdy and partake in sins of the flesh was too great."

"And here his pride and joy is attending a vampire bachelor party," Edward shook his head mockingly. "Carlisle you should be ashamed."

"It's killing me," Carlisle laughed. "Can't you tell?"

"Come to think of it," Emmett chimed in, obviously pleased with himself, "you do look a little pale."

Had Jasper seriously dragged me out here so I could listen to tales of the bachelor parties of yore and bad vampire jokes? Ugh. Lucky gay hum-pire.

"Quiet," Jasper said suddenly, the atmosphere quickly shifting from jovial to predatory. "I hear something."

I had no intention of hunting. Jasper had just dragged me along for the ride, but I did know that I would never keep up with them if I didn't shift. I waited until they took off after whatever prey awaited them in the forest. I quickly stripped down, tied my shorts to my ankle cord, and before I knew it I was running free through the forest. I hadn't shifted since the night that Nessie and I had had our huge fight and I'd taken off to clear my head. I hoped Leah wasn't out somewhere. When I was in wolf form, and alone in my head, I was able to achieve a level of peace that I'd almost never experienced while in my human form. It was funny how the nature that I had once perceived as a curse was actually quite liberating. That got me to thinking about how things change, and how things aren't always what they seemed. I'd once hate imprinting, hoped I never would have to experience it, yet now that I had I wouldn't trade it for anything. Who needed a ton of choices when you could experience a connection that deep? I'd also, although it was hard to admit it, been wrong about Nahuel.

"Hey maid-of-honor," Leah's voice rang in my head.

Frantically, I tried to close my thoughts off, but I knew it was no use. She would have already seen everything.

"Oh my god," she sounded gleeful, "you asked that half-vampire out on a man date."

"Shut up Leah," I replied gruffly. "Or you are going to have to find a new maid of honor for your stupid wedding."

"Touchy, touchy," Leah responded.

I wasn't a big fan of doing what I was about to do, but I really didn't see any other choice.

"Leah," the alpha-timbre rang clearly Denali to La Push, "do not tell anyone about this, especially Embry."

"Whipping out the big guns," Leah had lost some of her light heartedness. "Fine o-great-alpha of mine. I won't tell anyone."

"Sorry," I replied, the guilt creeping up on me. "I've just had a rough day."

"I see that," Leah responded. "Vampire bachelor party, huh? Woohoo."

"Yeah," I replied. "Big fun."

"Well as much fun as it is to listen to you bitch and moan about your predicament I think I'm going to go," Leah replied. "Don't get jealous Jake everyone knows Jazz loves you best."

Before I could even respond she was gone. Part of me was glad that she was gone, but the other part wanted her to pop back in just so I could give her the snappy comeback she deserved. I shook it off. All I had to do was get through tonight and tomorrow. We'd be leaving Denali and things would start to get back to normal. I might actually have to tell Leah to find someone else because after this whole mess there were two things I was sure of: 1) I hated weddings and 2) I hated bachelor parties.