Bellas POV
"You look lovely Bella" Heidi said simply, she seemed slightly bored. He eyes held no interest for me at all, they were just lazily glancing over the wounderful white italian lace chiffon dress that was wrapped around me right now. I gulped
"Thank you Heidi" i smiled lightly to her, ignoring the lump at the back of my throat
Im doing this for their future. For their lives.
I reminded my self nodding again as Heid continued to work around me at a slow pace. Heidi wasnt as scrict as the rest of the guard. She enjoyed her life here, but thought of it as slightly unfair at times, like now.
She was in love with Felix and the last i heard and he was completely oblivious to her of corse. He was a pig in human terms. A man who ignored all the right women and loved power. I couldnt understand the infactuation she had with him.
"Heidi?" i asked her as her big sad eyes finally rested on my face. I considered her a conrad here. Some one who understood what i felt at times. The confusion to love a man you dont even know. Well in my case anyway, Heidi knew Felix all to well, she just didnt understand him. Just like i didnt understand alot of things going on right now. Everything seemed so simple, with alot of riddles and codes plunged into it to create a completely different story to what i had been told. A story i knew nothing of yet belived entirely with my heart. With one glance at my sons and Daughter. I knew there was something missing.
"Yes?" she called softly as her eyes glazed down a little
"What do you remember about your human life?" i asked her and he face screwed up by my question which had completely thrown her off gaurd, she shrugged and tilted her head to the side
"Nothing much, just the pain...the night i was bitten" she shudderd as i bite down on my marble lip with my sharp teeth.
"Do you think all of them remember that?" i asked my head nudging to the door, she knew who i meant of corse.
"I should think so, its our most vivid memory, the burn of it all. Why do you not?" she asked looking towards me now as i thought hard. I rememberd the pain of corse. That was obvious and way to hard to forget...but my emotions before it were not the same as every ones elses, i had no fear when i was bitten, which was strange...I felt relieved i think and...lost maybe? but i knew what was happening, i must of known through him. My annonamus lover. The man, well the vampire, i had loved and love with passion. A man i didnt even know.
"I dont remember it well..." i wisperd quietly, Heidi looked to me. A look of confusion and betrayal crossed her face as she quickly looked away and began tidying scraps of lace that lay on the table beside her.
"It must be nice having your children back though, a relief of some sort" she said changing the subject. I sighed and decided to go along with it. I seemed to be doing that alot these days
"Yeah, it scared me you know, not knowing if they were safe or secure...it was awful. Did you ever want kids Heidi?"
"Hmmmm tough question...i never really thought about babies and stuff when i as human or when i first got changed into a vampire...it was only later on when i met felix that i could imagine having that life style." she was vounrable now, heidi was one to spill her mind when she was like this
"I could imagine the white picket fence, a brown little dog and a cottage somewhere up in england. And a few children...3 boys looking like there father...like your kids do, i mean renesmee and Damein put together basically would make up Edward and matt brings the extra features in...OH!" I froze. Heidi really did have a knack for spilling her mind.
She didnt move, nothing did. My eyes seemed to stare blankly into nothing.
Renesmees Eyes and Hair colour.
Damiens Face and body.
Matts shape and form.
Edward.
That was his name.
His image came up in my mind. Windswept copper bed head hair that was pushed off his beautiful marble white face. Soft red plump lips that looked like they tasted of cinamen. His eyes so deep and sensual that they told me every thing he felt, every year he experianced. Every one he loved...I swallowed my now burning dry throat as Heidi came back into view, she was screaming and crying hysterically as she continued to appologise over and over.
I had no clue who he was. But i knew what he looked like now. I knew his name. Even with his face in my mind, it brought back fresh feelings. Two to be presice and both of them oppisites to each other.
One: This emotion flipped my stomach in several diffeent ways, it made my heart fly and start beating again, it also made me gasp and sigh intently like a love sick fool.
Then there was Two: this one tore me to shreds and broke my now beating heart in a thousand peices and then shattered each one of those peices again. It hurt.
But that was love. It hurt to love and Loved to hurt. It made no sense, but that is how it should be. To know that no matter what, that youl be there for them and in return them for you. But my prince charming was some where out there, and it was complicated. Very complicated.
"RENAIYA!" Heidi`s voice brought me back to life again as she called on Aros new most trusted side kick. Why would she call on her? the girl with the gift to make people be persuaded and forget...
And just like that i shot out of the room and headed down towards the cells. All this time i had spent woundering why my children were so confused. All this time it hadnt been them at all.
It was Renaiya who had made me forget. It had to be! didnt it? what if that story i had been told was all just a lie! what did happen to my kids all them years ago? did they really want to go off to school? was that a lie too?
Then i rememberd Renesmees sleeping face as she mummbled the word "Daddy" Had they met him? had he accepted them? did he feel the same towards me as i did him?
I needed to see my kids faces, i had to remember. I had to see his face on theirs. I had to know my Edward again.
The run was literally a blur. I couldnt concentrate nor get his face out of my mind. I knew him, but i didnt. And yet it made sense and not all at the same time. I loved this man and knew his face and name. But i couldnt remember anything about him... but i did know everything. Confused yet? My head was literally throwing its self in all directions, just like my body was doing right now. Once i reached the bottom of the cold stone floor Alecs eyes looked to me. They were frightend and unsure as i stumbled (Yes, stumbled) over to the door and yanked it open ignoring his cry for me not too.
Damien and Matt were on their knees looking to the floor in pain, eyes black. black as night...
I was watching him surreptitiously. Just as i passed, he suddenly went rigid in his seat. He stared at me again meeting my eyes with the strangest expression on his face -it was hostile, furious. I looked away quickly, shocked, going red again. I stumbled over a book in the walkway and had to catch my self on the edge of a table. The girl sitting there giggled.
I'd noticed his eyes were black- coal black.
I gasped Catching my breath. What the hell was that!
this vision, this...memory now fresh in my mind and all at once my vampire brain knew what it was doing...This was the first time i had seen him. My vampire lover. Their father.
Both of my sons now were on there feet there black eyes averted over my shoulder and glaring at a now shaking Alec.
"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" both of the shrieked before the lept to attack...
He threw himself at me, flinging me back across the table. It fell as i did, scattering the cake and the presents, the flowers and the plates. I landed in the mess of Shattered crystal.
Jasper slammed into Edward, and the sound was like the crash of boulders in a rock slide...
Damien and matt both tore at alec, there black eyes feirce and there teeth bared. Yet i could do nothing but stay still...My voice had become lost and my focus on the situation had gone. I just stood there remembering. and fearing what was to come. Another snarl ripped out of Both my sons as they threw loud agressive punches and kicks in alecs direction.
there was another noise, a grisly snarling that seemed to be coming from deep in jaspers chest. jasper tried to shove past Edward, snapping his teeth just inches from Edwards face.
Another Gasp fell out of me. Jasper. Jasper cullen...the birthday party...the night of my birthday...
He heald me close. So close i could feel his cool breath in places he had never aloud before. He smiled at me, so bright yet so weary as i connected with him on a whole new level. And at that moment i knew i would never love some one as much as he loved me. No one else could mae me feel the way he did, and not just emotionally. I watched with awe as his face twisted from weiry to intense love and pleasure all at once. My emotions quick to follow. This was right. This was love. This was home...
Everything was flowing back to me as my eyes darted round the stone walls of the place unsure of wear to look.
"Mom?" Renesmees musical voice fell out of her as i looked to her.
Renesmee...Renee and Esme...carlie...carlisle and charlie...
Her beautiful big golden eyes peered up at me in shock and terror.
I vividly remembered the flat black colour of his eyes the last time hed glared up at me- the colour was stricking against the back ground of his pale skin and auburn hair...
Renesmees hair...
Today his eyes were a completely different colour: a strange ocher, darker than butter scotch but with the same golden tone...
And thats when things got weird. Because i could no longer see his perfect face or remember anything else. I could no longer hear what was going on around me or see renesmees huge golden eyes any more...I felt my body slump to the cold ground as i let out one last startled gasp. And i shut down, letting my emotions flicker over me. For once in this life time i was now remembering the emotional stress and pain of being human...And it was burning me again.
Short chapter i know, but its progress right? besides the waters always calm before the storm huh? :)Thanks for all your reviews they mean alot! :) let me now what you think love K1m xx
