Fiftieth One Shot:
Left Behind
Clary POV:
I was sitting on my couch in a black dress while people roamed around the house that I shared with my boyfriend. Or should I say ex-boyfriend now. I didn't even want to have this at our house. I just wanted to be left alone, and people knew that. Nobody even tried to talk to me, or sit with me, or even look at me. I was grateful for that though. I didn't want to have to hear people tell me what a great guy he was, or how much he would be missed, or how terribly sorry they were for my loss. It was all cliché anyway. The majority of them didn't even mean it.
By the time everyone was gone, Izzy was cleaning up the place. It was her idea to have this elaborate post-funeral gathering. She knew I didn't want it, but I think it was more for other than it was for me. She knew how pissed I was, and how incredibly disappointed I was in Sebastian. I know its pretty cold to hate a dead man, but I hated him, and if I could bring him back from the dead to smack him, I totally would.
"Clary, everything is cleaned up." Izzy said.
"Thanks." I said and she sat in front of me.
"You need to let this anger go Clare." She said and I let out a humorless laugh.
"Let it go? How can I let it go Isabelle? He was dying. For months, and he didn't tell me." I said and she took my hands in hers, but I yanked them away. "He knew well before I got pregnant that I was going to be raising our child alone. How the hell do you want me to let that go?"
"I don't want you to let that go, but this anger you're holding inside of you has too. It's not good for you or the baby."
"Neither is not having a father, but Sebastian didn't really think about that now did he?" I said.
"You think that was easy for him Clary? I don't think it was. Keeping a secret from the girl that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with knowing that his life was ending in a couple months, not a couple decades?" She said and I rolled my eyes.
"Than why keep me around? If he knew he was going to die, why did he string me along making me believe we were going to be together forever?" I asked.
"Because he loved you." She said as she stood up. "Because nothing in this world meant more to him than your happiness. He wanted to give you everything he possible could, and I say that he pretty much did." She said and I rolled my eyes again. "Quit rolling your eyes Clarissa and look around." She snapped and I did. "He gave you this incredible house to raise your child in. He gave you that child knowing the one thing you wanted more than anything was to be a mother. He gave you everything in that will, so that in the future you would be completely taken care of. He left you everything but himself, and that's only because he was the one thing he couldn't save." She said and I sat back and started rubbing my bulging belly. "You need to get your head out of your ass and realize that you aren't the only one who lost someone that night. He was my friend too. My kids loved him; Simon and him were best friends. You may be the one hurting the most out of all of us, but that doesn't mean others aren't hurting as well."
"I'm sorry Iz." I finally said and she sat next to me and put her arm around me. "I'm just so angry that he didn't tell me. We were partners. We have been together since I was 23 years old. How am I supposed to live without him?"
"It's going to be incredibly hard, but you can't push everyone away." She said and I looked up into her eyes. "Simon and I are here for you, and Alec is finally coming back to the States."
"He is?" I asked and she smiled.
"You know his band that you absolutely love?" She asked and I smiled. I was truly a fan of their work, and so was my baby. It seemed to be the only thing to calm her down when she was kicking the shit out of my ribs. "They are finally touring the country and one of their shows is in New York."
"That's so exciting. I haven't seen him in years." I said and she smiled.
"Me either. I mean, I don't even know his band. He left to pursue music in Europe what, 8 or 9 years ago and hasn't come back."
"I'm glad he's finally coming home." I said and she nodded.
"The show here is in one month, and he gave me backstage passes. Simon agreed to watch the kids, and I could really use a night out with my best friend." She said and I smiled.
"I would love to Iz." I said and she hugged me.
"Do you want me to stay tonight?" She asked and I looked around.
"Can I actually go back to your house? I don't think I can stay here. Like ever again." I asked.
"You're going to sell?" She asked.
"This was our home, and I'm not going to be able to sleep in our room, and cook in that kitchen without having memories of him, and I don't think that would be beneficial to the grieving process." I said and she nodded.
"I understand, but you aren't leaving New York are you?" She asked and I shook my head.
"His company is here, and one day this little girl is going to get it all. Plus, I could never take her away from her cousins." I said and she smiled. I packed a bag and headed to Izzy's. I knew that I had been incredibly distant his Sebastians's death, and I was still incredibly mad at him, but Izzy was right, he gave me everything so that once he was gone I wouldn't have to worry, and I was incredibly grateful for that.
Time Jump – One Month Later
Jace POV:
We had been in America for a month now and I had to say, these fans were pretty fucking insane. Probably the most dedicated fans we've come across, which was incredible to think about. We had been pretty big in Europe for the past couple years, but to know that we had this large of a following in America surpassed our wildest dreams.
We were currently finishing up our sound check for tonight and we were all pretty fucking pumped. New York seemed like a wild city, and I couldn't wait to go out on stage and see just how insane the fans got. Some even followed us from city to city which blew my mind. Meeting Alec in that pub that night, and starting this whole thing was one of the greatest things that has ever happened, and seeing how far we've come truly made me grateful.
"So, you're sister is coming tonight?" One of the members, Jordan, asked Alec and he rolled his eyes.
"She's married, with two kids. Even if she was single, there is no way in hell you stood a chance." Alec said which caused me to laugh.
"But you said she's bringing a friend?" He asked. "Is she single?" He asked and Alec hesitated. "So she is single?"
"It's complicated." Alec answered.
"How can it be complicated?" He asked. "She's either single, or she isn't."
"Not all relationships are that simply explained." Alec said. Jordan was a great guy, but he didn't know when to shut the fuck up and it could get very annoying.
"Do I stand a chance?" He asked.
"No." Alec said and Jordan rolled his eyes and left the room. Bat followed, making sure he wouldn't get in any trouble and I turned my attention back to Alec.
"You good?" I asked. He seemed pretty upset with all the questions Jordan asked.
"Izzy's friend is going through a personal loss at the moment." He explained and I nodded. "Izzy said she likes our music, and that it would be a good excuse to get out of the house and start living again, and I just don't want Jordan to make her feel uncomfortable tonight."
"I'll keep Jordan in check. You know how he can get." I said and Alec nodded. "Look, I'll give my friend Maia a call."
"Maia Roberts?" He asked and I nodded. "I thought she was living in like Guam or something."
"Naw, she was traveling for a while but she found a great place somewhere in Jersey I think she said, and I know for a fact Jordan would like her."
"You're going to set poor Maia up with Jordan? He's a pig." Alec said and I laughed.
"Yes, but Maia doesn't take anyone's bullshit. You know that." I said and Alec laughed.
"Man if she wasn't so dead set on traveling she would have made a great manager for us." Alec said and I laughed and nodded.
"I promise, Jordan won't bother your sisters friend." I said and Alec nodded. I got up and made my way out into the hallway to make the call. Jordan was a sucker for a sweet girl, who liked to eat, and I knew that Maia would be exactly what he liked.
Clary POV:
"I feel like a bloated whale." I said as I looked in the mirror. Being 5 months pregnant wasn't a walk in the park. I felt disgusting, and I looked disgusting.
"You look great Clare." Izzy said and I rolled my eyes.
"I look fat." I said.
"You're growing another human inside you. That is a miracle." She said and I looked back at myself and smiled. Despite feeling horrible, and hating the way I looked she was the only thing that kept me going most days anymore, and I couldn't wait to meet her. "Alright, lets go. I want to see my brother."
We got in the car and made our way to the venue where they were playing. Alec had told her to come early so that he could have some time with her before the show and Izzy was more than thrilled. She had seriously missed her brother more than she admitted, and since she told me Alec was going to be back in town I could just see the happiness shinning through everything she did.
When we got there, Izzy directed us to the back entrance. Alec was leaning against the wall and when Izzy spotted him she went running. She jumped into his arms and he picked her up enthusiastically and hugged her tight. I made my way over there as fast as I could with my little waddle. When Alec and Izzy finally broke apart he looked back at me and smiled.
"It is so good to see you Clare." He said as he pressed his lips to my forehead. "I know you've probably gotten a lot of apologies recently, but I just wanted to say I truly am sorry. I didn't know him well, I think we only met once, but I knew how happy he made you, and I know how hard it is to lost someone you love." He said and I smiled. I knew Alec was being so incredibly sincere. When he first moved to Europe he had met a man, and they fell in love instantly and before I could even blink they were married. According to Izzy they were incredibly happy, but a year after they were married he was killed in a car accident. Izzy said that Alec was devastated, and jumped off the deep end. He was getting into trouble, and drinking away is life, when one of the members of the band approached him in a pub after hearing him play. It saved his life, and a couple years later he met someone else, and they've been together ever since.
"Thanks Alec." I said and he smiled.
"I promise, you'll get through it." He said and I smiled. I knew Alec meant well. He lost his husband, and it took some time, but eventually he grieved and found someone else who he loved, and that did give me some courage. Sebastian may have been gone, but that didn't mean I couldn't have a family one day. "Come on, lets get inside."
Him and Izzy were talking while I was walking behind them looking around. I had never been backstage at a concert before, and it was really interesting to see how chaotic it could really be. We were walking for what felt like forever, but I did get tired rather quickly these days, before Alec turned into a room. When I got in there it looked nothing like I thought it would. I thought there would be clothes thrown everywhere, trash cluttering the area, and instruments laying around. It didn't look like this was a guys waiting room at all.
"You'll have to excuse the cleanliness. Jace is a neat freak." Alec said and I laughed.
"I prefer the term organized." I heard and when I turned around I saw the most beautiful man I've ever seen. He was golden from head to toe, and I think my brain literally forgot how to function. I had liked their music but that didn't mean I googled them, and stalked their social media. I really only knew what Alec looked like. "And if you three weren't such pigs, I wouldn't have to clean up all the damn time."
"There could be a pillow out of place and you would have to fix it Jace. Face it, your OCD is out of control." Alec said and I couldn't help but laugh. "Clary, Izzy, this is the lead singer, Jace Herondale. Jace this is my sister Izzy, and her friend Clary."
"Pleasure to meet you two." He said and I smiled.
"You as well." Izzy said for both of us. A rather painful kick caused me to hiss and double over in pain right at that very moment. I felt two sets of hands grab me and when I looked up Izzy was on my right and Jace was on my left. "Are you okay?"
"Yea, she just decided that I wasn't in enough pain, and that she was going to cause me more." I said and they both guided me to the sofa. "Thank you."
"You need water, or food?" Jace asked, and I found it really sweet that he cared how I was doing.
"Water would be great." I said and he turned to leave before Izzy spoke.
"Could you also get her something with protein? The doctor said she was lacking it."
"Of course. I'll be right back." Jace said and than he disappeared.
"Wow. I've never seen him so nice before." Alec said and I laughed.
"Pregnancy normally makes people hyperaware to everything and causes them to act differently because if something happens they don't want it to be on their conscious." I said.
"Maybe, but he is a great guy. Just has a lot of walls built up." Alec explained.
"Don't we all." I said and Alec nodded. A moment later Jace walked back in with a bottle of water and chicken nuggets. I know I didn't know him at all, this man was at the top od my favorites list. "You are an angel."
"I figured healthy hasn't really been your favorite since being pregnant." He said as he took a seat next to me.
"Not at all, and Izzy keeps forcing me to eat organic shit." I said and he laughed.
"It's better for the baby." She said defensively. "Those chicken nuggets aren't filled with all the proper things you need."
"I've been living off your food the past month, one cheat day won't hurt." I said as I dug into the chicken nugget. "Oh my god, you are my hero." I said as I looked at Jace.
"Glad I could help." He said and I laughed. Alec and Izzy were across the room undoubtedly catching up on the time they are spent apart and Jace and I sat in silence while I continued to eat. "So, when are you due?" He finally asked.
"January 28th." I said.
"No way. That's my birthday." He said and I laughed.
"Cool." I said and he smiled.
"So, is the father excited?" He asked and I sighed. I guess he could tell the atmosphere changed. "Did I say something wrong?" He asked.
"The father passed away a month ago." I said.
"I'm so sorry." He said. "That must have been tough."
"It was, considering I didn't even know he was dying." I said and he looked confused. "Apparently he had cancer, and neglected to tell me."
"That's a shitty thing to go to a pregnant woman." He said and I laughed.
"It was rather shitty. You have your whole life planned, and than poof, it's gone." I said and he smiled.
"I'm a true believer that things happen for a reason, and even if it's a shitty thing to experience, there is always a reason." He said.
"Just seems pretty hard to believe considering I'm 5 months pregnant, and I don't know how I'm going to be a single mother." I said.
"Izzy seems pretty invested in your pregnancy, so you aren't truly alone." He said and I smiled and nodded at him.
"I guess you're right." I said and he smiled.
"You're up in 25 minutes!" We heard someone yell and Alec and Jace both looked at each other.
"We'll see you two after the show." Alec said and Izzy and I both nodded. Jace and Alec left and Izzy made her way over to me and took a seat.
"You and Jace seemed to hit if off pretty well." She said.
"He was rather easy to talk too." I said and she smiled.
"I'm glad. I know it's hard only having Simon and I to talk too." She said and I nodded. It was weird how easy it was for me to be so comfortable talking to Jace. I literally met him an hour ago, and I already felt like talking to him gave me a more courage than I had before about raising my baby. Things were going to be hard, but I did have a support system, and that was a huge thing for me.
Time Jump – Birth
Clary POV:
I was currently in the hospital waiting for my baby to be born and god I wanted her out of me. My water broke at 4 this morning, and it is currently 11 am. I felt like whatever I did, she was too stubborn to come out. I was in pain, and I was scared, and damn it I wanted Sebastian. Izzy had truly been amazing throughout this. She herself was pregnant with her third child, and she hasn't left my side since I was admitted into the hospital, which I was incredibly grateful for.
"Alright Clary, lets see how far along you are." The doctor said. She quickly examined me and than smiled. "Looks like you're ready to push."
"Oh thank god." I said and she laughed.
"Next contraction, push." She said. I waited for the pain to come and when it did I pushed like there was no tomorrow.
I honestly didn't know how long I was pushing but eventually I heard cries and when I opened my eyes I saw them holding my little girl. Finally, after everything that I had been through I started crying. She was here, and she was mine, and I was so incredibly happy that I could hold her. When the nurse walked over and handed me that little bundle of pink I couldn't stop the tears. I leaned down and pressed my lips to her forehead.
"I love you Everly Fray." I said. I decided to give her my last name because I didn't want to have her to go through school having to explain everything, and with Fray being her last name nobody would ever connect her to Verlac Industries, which, in the long run would cut back on the amount of threats she might receive, or fake friends she'll make. I wanted her to be able to live without all that pressure on her back, and with the last name of Fray, that's exactly what she can do.
"She's beautiful Clary." Izzy said and I couldn't help but smile.
"I know, I can't believe she's here." I said and Izzy smiled.
"I'm gonna text Alec. He wanted to know when you had her." She said and I nodded. I looked back at Everly and couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. She was beautiful, and she was mine, and I couldn't be happier even if I wanted to be.
Jace POV:
We were all sitting around our house trying to write songs for our new album. The tour in America went amazingly, and when we got back to Europe there was even more fans than when we left. It was crazy, and I didn't even know how to put it into words how insane it truly was. This album was coming along rather slowly, but it was nice to have some time off while getting it together. Jordan was strumming his guitar while Bat was playing a little bit on the drums, and I was working on the lyrics.
"Clary had her baby." Alec said out of nowhere, but Jordan and Bat weren't paying attention, and it really was just directed towards me. "Looks like you and her are now birthday buddies." He said and I laughed.
"How are they?" I asked. I had only gotten the chance to speak with Clary that one night because the tour pretty much sucked our time completely up, but Alec frequently let me know what was going on, and how both Clary and Izzy were doing.
"Both mother and child are doing well." Alec said.
"What did she name her?" I asked.
"Everly." He said.
"Pretty." I said and Alec looked at me.
"Do you like her?" He asked. "Because you are uncharacteristically so interested, and genuinely curious about her well being and what's going on in her life."
"I like her as a person. I think being her friend would be great. I only spent a couple hours with her Alec, but she was nice and I enjoyed talking to her." I said. The truth was, I didn't know how I felt about Clary, but I did care about what was going on in her life, and how she was doing. He nodded and left the room and I went back to working on the lyrics. I didn't think things would ever happen between Clary and I. We were at two different places in life, and she has her baby to worry about, and if she wanted to focus on Everly for a while, I completely understood that.
Time Jump – Six Months Later
Clary POV:
"Izzy, she's only six months old, you don't have to throw a party for her." I said and Izzy laughed.
"It's not a party. Alec has a break from touring for the first time ever, and he's coming home to visit, and I think it would be great for him to meet her." She said and I looked at Everly. She was the happiest baby I've ever seen. She had my green eyes and my curly red hair. She has inherited none of Sebastian's features, which I was pretty happy about. It made missing him hurt a little less.
"Alright." I said and she smiled.
"Come on, Jace is coming." She said and I looked at her.
"Okay?" I said as a question and she rolled her eyes.
"Come on, you two got along great when you met. You can't tell me you haven't at least thought about him since they went back." She said.
"Izzy, Sebastian died 7 months ago, you can't seriously be trying to set me up with a member of your brothers band." I said.
"I said nothing about setting you up on a date, but I think he could be exactly what you need." She said and I sighed. "You spent 10 amazing years with Sebastian. He gave you everything. You loved him, and he loved you and he gave you a baby who you love more than anything in the world. But he didn't just pack up and move. He isn't coming back, and you deserve to be happy. To find love again."
"Iz." I said but she stopped me.
"I'm not saying you have to jump into another relationship. Grieve for Sebastian, and focus on Everly, and take the time you think you need, but don't forget about yourself either." She said and I nodded. "Alec and Jace should be here in an hour. I'm going to go take a little nap because I'm exhausted."
"What did you expect, you're 8 months pregnant Iz." I said and she laughed. She went upstairs and I went over to the playpen where Everly was sitting. She smiled up and giggled at me and I couldn't help but smile. I picked her up and made my way back to the couch. She curled into my chest I took a deep breath. Izzy was right, one day I'm going to start dating again, but for now, I just want to focus on Everly, and grieve the man that I lost.
Jace POV:
"Why do you look so nervous?" I asked Alec as we were driving to Izzy's.
"I'm not that great with babies." He admitted and I laughed. "It's not funny. Not everyone can be a baby whisperer like you."
"I am incredibly good with kids." I said and Alec rolled his eyes. "How old are Izzy's kids again?"
"The oldest is 4, than there is a 2 year old and she's pregnant again." He said and I nodded. "Plus Clary has a 6 month old. What if she wants me to hold her and I drop her?"
"Alec, you need to calm down. If you don't feel comfortable holding her, than don't. It won't be the end of the world." I said and he nodded. "She's 6 months old, I doubt she'll be offended."
"I don't want to offend Clary." He said.
"I doubt she'll be offended either. Clary doesn't peg me as the type to get upset over things like that." I said and Alec nodded. We got to the house and Alec just opened up the door and walked in. It was unnaturally quiet for a house that had three children in it, but when we entered the living room the only person that we saw was Clary.
"Hey Clare." Alec said and she turned around. She smiled, got off the couch and made her way over to us.
"Alec, it's so good to see you." She said as she wrapped her arms around him. When they broke apart she looked at me and smiled. "You too Jace." She said and she wrapped her arms around me. Not that I minded the hug, but it was rather forward of her, and a little unexpected but nice nonetheless.
"Where is everyone?" Alec asked.
"Izzy is napping. She's been running herself around like a mad women for the last couple days and she was exhausted. Simon took the kids out so that they wouldn't disturb her, and Everly is currently sleeping. I've been enjoying the peace and quiet." She said and just on queue a baby started crying and Clary laughed. "A mother never does get a break."
"Let me." I said and she looked at me confused.
"He's kinda a baby whisperer." Alec said and Clary laughed and motioned for me to go over. When I got to the playpen and took a look at Everly she might have been the most adorable baby I've ever seen. She had Clary's green eyes, and her vibrant red hair. I leaned forward and picked up the crying baby and almost instantaneously she started to calm down. I made my way over to the couch and a moment later Alec and Clary both joined me.
"I don't think she's ever calmed down that quickly for me." Clary said and I laughed.
"I have a way with kids." I said and she laughed. "I don't know why, but they just seem to like me."
"And do you like them?" She asked.
"Of course. Kids are the best. I can't wait to have my own little army running around some day." I said and she smiled.
"I'm gonna go check on Izzy." Alec said out of nowhere and left the room.
"What's stopped you from having a family already?" She asked. "You seem like you really want one."
"Haven't met the right woman. Being famous doesn't really attract the right kind, and I want to start a family with a girl who loves me, and supports me. I mean money is important, don't get me wrong, but I want someone who would love me even if I was dirt poor." I explained and she nodded.
"I get it. When I was deciding what to name her, I didn't know if I wanted to give her my last name, or her fathers." She said.
"And what did you decide to go with?" I asked.
"Mine. Don't get me wrong, I loved Sebastian, and I'm grateful that he gave me her, but his last name comes with a lot of pressure, and I didn't want her to have to bare that weight at such a young age. I wanted her to have a normal life, and with my last name she can."
"What kind of pressure?" I asked.
"Sebastian was the CEO if a major business here in New York. In his will he left it to our child. Ultimately she will have to decide if she wants to take it over, or not. He was very clear that he wasn't going to force her into that world, and I won't do that either. I want her to make her own decisions, and carrying around his name would be far more disastrous than anything else."
"Sounds like he really thought of everything." I said and she nodded. She took one of Everly's tiny hands in hers. I didn't realize how close we were until my body immediately reacted when she touched me.
"He made sure we were both taken care of for the rest of our lives." She said and I nodded. "Doesn't make it any easier."
"I don't doubt that. Growing up without a parent is tough." I said and she looked at me.
"Who did you lose?" She asked.
"I never knew my mom. She died giving birth to me, and than when I was two my dad died. I was shipped off to my grandmom's and she fed me and gave me a place to stay but she wasn't very nurturing." I said.
"That must have sucked." She said and I nodded.
"It wasn't the most ideal situation. I would have rather grown up with my parents, but things happen, and I am thankful I had someone to take me in." I said.
"I'm sorry you went through that." She said and I smiled at her.
"It taught me a lot about the type of person I was, and what type of father I will be someday." I said and she nodded.
"Do you still keep in touch?" She asked.
"She died 10 years ago. She wasn't in the best health when I was with her, and honestly I was just waiting for her to kick the bucket." I said and Clary laughed. "I visit her grave ever now and than. Despite how bad she was of a mother figure, she really did save me from bouncing around from different homes, and I am grateful for that."
"You turned out pretty well." She said and I smiled.
"I'd like to think I am making my parents proud." I said and she smiled. Our eyes were locked and neither of us were moving. My eyes flickered down to her lips and she bit them in the process, which drove me crazy. I didn't know how bad of an idea it was, but I was just going to go for it. I leaned in and pressed our lips together and the natural chemistry that was there was insane. The kiss didn't last long but it was everything I needed, and I wanted to do it again. She went to open to mouth when we heard footsteps. She immediately got off the couch and put enough distance between us.
"I am so sorry I was asleep when you got here." Izzy said and I smiled.
"It was not a problem. I have been enjoying my time with Everly." I said and she smiled.
The rest of the day went by great, but I couldn't get that kiss out of my head. I wanted to talk to Clary about it, but she was keeping her distance from me. I understood why though, she was probably really confused, and I didn't blame her. She just lost her boyfriend, and she had Everly to worry about, and I didn't want to complicate anything, but I needed to talk to her.
Unfortunately, I never got the chance because Alec and I had to leave so that we could catch our flight in morning. We had only been in for a day, but something came up with our record label and they needed us back. I didn't know when I would be seeing Clary again, and I hated leaving everything so open and confusing.
Clary POV:
I was sitting on the couch after I had put Everly to bed, and I couldn't get that kiss out of my head. I mean, he kissed me, and I didn't mind. I thought moving on was going to be impossible, but apparently that didn't matter when it came to Jace. He made me feel something I haven't felt since Sebastian died, and it scared me because it was 10 times more intense than it had ever been with Sebastian. I didn't even know how long I was sitting there until I felt a hand on my shoulder. When I looked up Izzy was standing there looking concerned.
"You've been sitting here staring at that wall for 25 minutes. Are you okay?" She asked.
"Jace and I kissed." I said and she squealed and took a seat.
"Oh my god, how was it?" She asked.
"It was the most intense kiss I've ever experienced." I said.
"In a good way, or a bad way?" She asked.
"An insanely good way." I said and she started clapping and laughing.
"So, what's the problem?" She asked.
"It scared me. I mean, I felt something I never felt before. Even when I was with Sebastian a kiss never made me feel like that." I said and she smiled at me.
"You two seem to have natural chemistry." She said and I nodded in agreement.
"Something about us being together just seems right, and I don't know if I'm ready for that." I said and Izzy put her hand on my back.
"Did you guys talk about it?" She asked and I shook my head. "Why not?"
"I just avoided him the rest of the day." I said and she laughed. "I was scared."
"It's okay to be scared. You and Sebastian were together for a long time, and he just passed, and you just had a baby. You've been through a lot in the past year. It makes sense something like that would be terrifying." She explained.
"I could tell he wanted to talk to me, but I just kept avoiding it, and now who knows what I'll talk or see him again." I said and Izzy smiled.
"They are having some issues with their label, and Alec told me they were trying to set up a tour for some time in the New Year. You have some time Clary."
"I just don't know what to do." I said and Izzy gave me a hug.
"Than take this time and figure it out. Next time you see him, that's when you can talk." She said and I nodded. "Come on, it's getting late. You should sleep." She said as she grabbed my hand and pulled me off the couch. I made it to my room and just laid on my bed. I was confused, and I knew that I needed to talk to Jace and figure this all out, but I was going to take Izzy's advice and take this time to figure it out. That's all I could really do for now.
Time Jump – Six Months Later
Clary POV:
It was Everly's first birthday and I still haven't seen or spoken to Jace. Turns out someone leaked their whole album and there was a whole lawsuit to follow and it devastated the band. The whole record label was under investigation and it took months for it to end. Izzy said that Alec and Jace were angry, upset, annoyed, and just frustrated with the whole situation but I couldn't blame them. According to Izzy they spent months working on that album and for it all to be leaked was a huge blow to them.
The tour that they had been planning had to be rescheduled and from what I've read and seen on TV the fans weren't too happy, but they were still incredibly devoted to the band. Which brings me to why Everly's first birthday is even more important this year. Izzy had told Alec that she wanted him to come in for her birthday, but we weren't just celebrating her birthday, we were celebrating Jace's as well. After talking to Jace about his childhood I kinda figured he never got to celebrate a birthday properly, and what better way than to share it with a giggling one year old. Alec thought it was a good idea since they've been pretty bummed with the whole lawsuit and everything and it gave them an excuse to get away for a little.
"Alright, they will be here in a couple minutes." Izzy said and I smiled. Everly was a determined little thing and learned how to walk last week. I was so incredibly surprised when she stood up and took her first steps but I was so incredibly proud of her.
"Everly Fray, get over here!" I said and she came running into my legs. I picked her up and kissed her cheek and she started giggling. She really was the cutest little thing and I was happy to have her in my life. Simon had the littlest one while the other two were standing by his legs. The doorbell rang and Izzy went to go get it. After a few minutes Izzy walked back in followed by the band.
"Happy birthday!" The kids yelled as they attacked Jace's legs. Everly was squirming in my arms and I put her down and she ran over to him as well. He bent down and gave them each a hug. Everly put her arms around his neck and wouldn't let go. Jace laughed and picked her up. It was a sweet scene and I couldn't even begin to express how nervous I was because I knew we were going to have to talk.
"I thought this was a party for Everly." Jace said and I smiled.
"I figured you'd like to celebrate together." I said and he laughed.
"It would be my honor to celebrate with this pretty girl." He said as he picked her belly and she giggled.
Everyone made their way into the house. There was food, and everything and the kids were all playing together and there were more than enough adults watching them so I thought this was going to be a good opportunity to get Jace away so we could talk. I walked over to him and grabbed his hand. He turned around and I didn't say anything I just led him away. I took him into the hallway where I knew nobody would be able to hear us. We were quiet for a little before I spoke.
"I want to talk to you about what happened the last time you were here." I said and he nodded.
"I want to apologize for that. I saw an opportunity and I took it. I should have asked if it was okay with you." He said and I couldn't help but smile.
"No, it's okay. I avoided you because that kiss scared me." I said.
"It was pretty intense." He said.
"You felt it too?" I asked and he nodded. "I've never felt anything like that before."
"Not even with Sebastian?" He asked.
"No. Which is why it scared me so much. I was with him for 10 years, and I was planning on spending my whole life with him, and than you kissed me and I couldn't help but wonder if being with him was right."
"You're going to drive yourself mad thinking about that." He said and I laughed.
"I know, but its been stuck in my head since our kiss. You made me question my whole relationship with him." I said and Jace grabbed my hand.
"I don't think you can really do that. You had a life with Sebastian, and you were happy. I know we don't really have anything going on, but that kiss certainly started something. And we have no idea what could happen if we give us a chance, but every relationship is going to be different. I won't be the same as Sebastian but I think there are many different ways that people can experience love, and I think that Sebastian and I are too different to compare." He said and he was right. There were two different people, and I really couldn't compare them. If I wanted to start something with Jace, it wasn't going to be the same. It would be different, and that's normal.
"I guess you're right." I said and he laughed.
"I'm not going to pressure you into starting something with me. I understand that you have had a tough couple years, and I understand if you aren't ready." He said and I smiled.
"I like you Jace. I do, and I think that I'm ready to see where this could go." I said and he smiled. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine and this time I welcomed the kiss, and I still felt everything I did the first time. We were broke apart when I heard the doorbell ring and Izzy calling my name. Jace and I broke apart and made our way back in to the living room. Izzy was standing there with a note.
"This was just delivered for you." She said and I took it. I opened it up and it was a letter from Sebastian. "What is it?"
"A letter from Sebastian." I said and her eyes widened. "I'm going to go up to my room and read it. Will you watch Everly?" I asked and she nodded. I looked at Jace and he smiled at me before I made it up to my room. I took a seat on my bed, took a deep breath and opened the letter.
Dear Clary,
If you're reading this, it means it's our sweet babies birthday. I can't tell you how truly sorry I am that I'm not there to experience it with you. I know you are probably incredibly mad at me, and I completely understand why, but I want you to know that I loved you so much that I knew I couldn't tell you. You were the best thing that ever happened to me, and making you laugh and smile was my favorite thing to do. I know life is going to be tough raising our sweet baby by yourself, but I know you are strong enough to do it. You've always been the most independent woman I've ever met, and I can only hope that our sweet baby gets that magnificent quality from you. When our sweet baby gets old enough I want you to tell him or her how much I loved them even though I didn't meet them. I want you to tell them about how we met, and how we fell in love, and all the adventures we went on. I want them to know that I didn't want to leave. I didn't want our sweet baby to grow up without a father, but sometimes life doesn't do what you want. Let our sweet baby know how truly loves they were by me. Let our sweet baby know that even though I'm gone, I still love you and I still love them more than I could properly express in this letter.
As for you my sweet Clare, I want you to know it's okay to move on. We had 10 incredible years together, and I wouldn't trade them for the world. I will always cherish our vacations together, and our spontaneous picnics together and the time we got stranded in that log cabin for the holidays. I will be grateful I got to wake up to your sweet smile every morning, and that I had the pleasure to listen to you sing while you cooked. You were the love of my life Clarissa, but just because I'm gone doesn't mean you have to be lonely. I want you to know that if you have the opportunity to find love again, I want you to pursue it. I want nothing but the best for you Clary, and I know there is man out there who will love you the way I did. Who will see how truly beautiful and amazing you are just like I did. Who will cherish you, and make you happy just like I did. Our love will live on because of our sweet baby, but I want you to know that you have so much love it would be a shame not to share it with someone else. I love you more than I can truly express Clarissa Adele Fray, and just because I'm gone, doesn't mean our love has died, it's just taken on a new form with our sweet baby. Kiss him or her a kiss for me, and I wish them the happiest of birthdays. I love you both forever.
Yours forever,
Sebastian.
I finished reading the letter and I had tears streaming down my face. I don't know how he knew this was exactly what I needed but he knew, and I was truly always going to be grateful for those 10 years just like he said he was. I took a few moments to calm myself down before I headed back downstairs. Everly was sitting on Jace's lap in the living room and I made my way over and sat down next to him. I think he could tell that I was crying because he looked at me with concern.
"Are you okay?" He asked and I smiled.
"I'm more than okay." I said and he smiled. Everly jumped from his lap to my own and I gave her the biggest hug ever. Jace out his arm around me and I couldn't help but smile. I knew that this could potentially be my future, and I was ready to embrace that with my arms wide opened.
Time Jump – Fourteen Years Later
Jace POV:
"Happy birthday dad!" Everly shouted as I made my way into the kitchen. I gave her a kiss on the head before making my way over to Clary and giving her a kiss.
"Thanks Ev. Happy birthday to you too. Where is Tommy?" I asked and Clary laughed.
"Your son is still sleeping." She said and I laughed.
"But it's 11 am." I said and she shrugged.
"He's your son." She said and I laughed.
"What are we doing for our birthday?" She asked and I smiled.
"I figured we would go out, just the two of us for a little, than meet mom and Tommy for dinner somewhere." I said and she smiled.
"Okay!" She said as she jumped off the stool and ran back upstairs. I looked over at Clary and she was smiling at me.
"Are you okay?" I asked and she made her way over to me.
"You know how I got that letter on her first birthday from Sebastian?" She asked and I nodded. "I got another one today. It was addressed to her."
"I guess it's time to explain to her than." I said and she nodded. "We can do this together." I said and she smiled.
"Everly! Can you come down here?" Clary yelled and soon enough we heard footsteps.
"Am I in trouble? Because that would really suck on my birthday." She said and we laughed.
"No, but we need to talk to you." I said and she nodded. We made our way to the living room and Clary and I sat on either side of her.
"What's up?" She asked. I looked at Clary and smiled and she nodded.
"This is really hard to tell you, and I hope you'll hear me out before jumping to conclusions and getting mad." Clary said and Everly looked confused. "Jace isn't your father."
"What?" She said and Clary took her hand in her own. "Than who is?"
"His name was Sebastian, and we were together for 10 years. I was planning on spending the rest of my life with him, and having you and any other kids we wanted to have."
"What happened to him?" She asked.
"He passed away when I was 3 months pregnant with you." She said.
"How?" She asked.
"He had cancer. He didn't tell me until he was almost dead, and I couldn't believe it." Clary said and Everly looked heart broken.
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" She asked.
"I didn't want to upset you. Jace has been raising you since you were 1, and he is your father, just not by blood." Clary explained and Everly nodded.
"Why are you telling me this now?" She asked.
"On your first birthday I was sent a letter from your father. Explaining how much he loved me and you and how it was okay to move on and be happy. It was the only letter I got, until today. I got another one, but it's addressed to you."
"Is it from him?" She asked. Clary nodded and handed her the envelope.
"You have a lot of similar qualities that he had, and I'm really proud of the girl you have become, and I hope that you don't hate me for keeping this from you." Clary said and Everly smiled.
"How could I possibly hate you?" She said. "You and dad have given me everything. And it's not like I ever knew him, or anything. He might be my biological father, but he'll always be my dad." She said as she looked at me. I gave her a kiss on the head and she smiled.
"I want you to get to know the man who helped me create you." Clary said and Everly smiled and nodded.
"Of course mom. I'd be honored to know who your first love was, and who my biological father was." She said and Clary smiled.
"We love you Everly, and we always will." I said and she turned towards me and kissed my cheek.
"I love you guys too. You're the best parents a girl could ever ask for. I'm going to go read this in my room." She said and we nodded. She got up and left the room which just left Clary and I. Clary made her way over to me and curled into my side.
"I think that went well." I said and Clary laughed.
"I think so too. I'm glad she took that so well." Clary said and I laughed.
"She does take after her mother." I said and Clary slapped my shoulder. I kissed her on the head and we stayed like that for a while. My life had never been so incredibly chaotic, or interesting but I couldn't imagine what life would be like without Clary, Everly, or Tommy, and I was looking forward to many more years of growing together and making lots of memories.
Authors Note:
WOW! Fifty stories already. Where the hell did the time go? Anyway, this story was thought of by me, and I wanted to share it with you all! I can't thank you enough for following my stories and encouraging me to continue and giving me some dope ideas to work with! I'm almost done with the semester so I should be updating a lot more frequently, so thanks for sticking with me!
Also, I just wanted to let you know that Everly's reaction is actually quite common for kids who lost a parent without even meeting them. I'm sorry if it came off as her not really caring who her biological father is, but she never knew him, so she doesn't really have an attachment to him, so she wasn't really that distraught to know that he was dead. Again, I know it might come off as uncaring and cold, but I promise that's not how I intended for it to sound! Let me know what you think! :)
