~*52*~
Kaito sat down in the hard chair that sat across from the desk. The doctor sat on the other side of it as he shuffled some papers around. Kaito cleared his throat as the doctor looked up. "Right Mr. Sakumoto," he said as he peered through his glasses at the dark haired man. "I understand you haven't been feeling very well, for quite a long time yes?" Kaito nodded at the man. "Okay, so tell me. What has been troubling you?" The doctor asked. Kaito's eyes shifted around the room nervously. His gaze landed on the man as he took a sigh.
"I didn't realise you were a shrink."
"Well, I'm here to help you. If you're feeling a certain way then it's my job to get to the bottom of it." The doctor adjusted his glasses as he spoke. The man continued on, "no matter how that may be, even if it means sitting here and simply talking about your problems."
"I see," Kaito uttered. "I don't really know where to start."
"The beginning is usually a good place," chuckled the man. Nodding, Kaito took a deep breath as he began to tell the doctor everything.
"Ushio?" Kaito said as he leant in closer, peering at the woman playing her game. He noticed that she had ear phones stuck in her ears, there was no way she could hear him. Kaito let out a slight sigh as he reached his hand out towards her. As he brought his fingers tips down to her shoulder, Ushio turned around. Jolting back, rather shocked at the sight of Kaito, Ushio ripped out her ear phones.
"K-Kaito?" She uttered, looking over the man.
"Hey," Kaito mumbled, taking a step backwards.
"What are you doing here?" Ushio asked as she stood up from the floor. She wore a white vest top with blue leggings. Her hair was a lot longer than Kaito remembered; she looked different, a lot more mature in his eyes. "Kaito?" Ushio repeated.
"Sorry, I kind of spaced out." Kaito gave an uneasy laugh. "I thought you weren't back for another week or so? That's what Nagisa said." Suddenly a figure came through the door.
"Well ... here we are," smiled Tomoya.
"Dad, why didn't you tell me Kaito was coming?" Ushio asked as she began to grow rather flustered.
"Hey now, it was your mom's idea."
"But dad how-"
"Oh now Ushio," Nagisa chirped as she entered the room, spatula in hand. "Don't be so dramatic."
"You're kidding right?" Ushio asked as her face began to grow red.
"By the way, thank you for dropping me in this Tomoya," Nagisa uttered, looking towards her husband.
"Well it was your idea; I didn't think it would go down that well, no offence Kaito." Tomoya gave a wink at the young man.
"None taken," Kaito mumbled.
"You can't just do this, Kaito and I ... well we haven't spoken in a long time," Ushio admitted. "Have we?"
"Well, no." Kaito replied.
"That's why we did it," Nagisa smiled.
"You," added Tomoya.
"Tomoya," Nagisa sighed. Tomoya looked to her; he also gave a sigh as he nodded.
"Okay ...Ushio, we just thought it would be a nice idea. Also your mom didn't run into any of your other friends to invite over." He chuckled.
"I'm 21 dad; I can invite my own friends over," Ushio scowled. Amongst the heated discussion between the Okazaki's, Kaito had gotten lost in his trace of thought, wondering when they would all settle down and he would be able to leave. As he came to his senses, he noticed the ongoing debate between the three of them. Letting out a cough, he spoke.
"Look," he began as the others went quiet. "Maybe I should just go," he said as he gave Tomoya his beer and began to leave.
"Oh, Kaito you don't have to go." Nagisa said in a worried tone.
"Ushio doesn't want me here, I don't blame her." Kaito looked over to his old friend. Ushio's gaze left him as he sighed. "It's fine, thank you for having me," Kaito said as he turned away and began to walk out of the room.
"Kaito ... wait," Ushio muttered. He came to a stop as he turned to face her. "Don't leave."
"You want me to stay?" Kaito asked.
"I still think this was a weird thing for you guys to do," Ushio stated as her eyes shifted between her parents. "But ... y-you could at least stay for dinner," she said, giving a smile. Nagisa and Tomoya looked to Kaito as he nodded.
"Okay."
Kaito took a sip of his beer as he shifted his gaze across the table. Ushio sat at the other side, prodding her food. To Kaito's left there was Tomoya and to his right sat Nagisa. It had been a long time since he had sat down with Ushio's family to enjoy one of her mother's home cooked meals. As Kaito took a bite of his pork cutlet, Nagisa spoke, breaking the previous silence that hung over the room. "How is it?"
"Great, the same as I remember," replied Kaito.
"I'm glad," Nagisa smiled as she took a sip of wine from her glass. Tomoya was cutting away at his piece of meat as Nagisa let out a cough. Looking up, Tomoya met her eyes as Nagisa raised her brow. Rolling his eyes, Tomoya gave a nod.
"It feels a little cold in here, someone start talking." The blue haired man chuckled.
"So what have you been up to?" Ushio asked as she looked up towards Kaito. Kaito's eyes widened as he brought his beer down from his lips. Swallowing, he let out sigh.
"You know this and that."
"I see," Ushio replied.
"Nothing's really changed."
"You must have had one or two adventures though? I mean, what, it's been two years or so since Nagisa and I have seen you. Nothings changed apart from that job of yours?" Tomoya chuckled.
"Well, Takeshi and I did go on a trip a while back." Kaito stated.
"Where did you go?" Nagisa asked.
"Egypt," Kaito mumbled as he chewed on a piece of pork.
"That sounds fun," smiled Nagisa.
"It wasn't, we ended up getting in a bit of trouble with some locals."
"Sounds familiar," Ushio chuckled. "Remember our trip to that lake, with the fishermen and their boat?"
"Yeah, I remember," Kaito nodded. Tomoya began to laugh, nearly choking on his beer in the process.
"They came at you with guns didn't they?" He smirked.
"Yeah, that's right ... chased me and Keshi all the way back to our campsite."
"What? Guns?!" Nagisa cried, "Why didn't I know about this?" Tomoya, Ushio and Kaito all looked to each other.
"We just didn't want you to worry mom," Ushio smiled. Nagisa shook her head.
"That's really dangerous, Kaito you could've been killed!"
"Honey," Tomoya laughed. Nagisa looked to her husband. "This is why we didn't tell you, that was years ago and you're worrying about it now."
"Oh," Nagisa uttered, "I still wished you would have said something."
"We were fine, apart from some wet pants we came out of it unscathed." Kaito stated, as if attempting a joke.
"Ya see, fine and dandy, no bullet wounds," Tomoya chuckled. Nagisa smiled and nodded as Ushio fixed her gaze on Kaito.
"So, where do you work Kaito?" She asked. Kaito looked up as he felt himself begin to go red.
"Everywhere I guess."
"So you travel?" Ushio asked curiously.
"You could say that," Kaito replied. "I work for the council ... cleaning streets and that."
"Oh," Ushio uttered. "That sounds good," she said while offering a smile.
"Sure it does," Kaito sighed.
"Like we said before Kaito, a job's a job," Tomoya smiled.
"Right, you're just finding your footing," Nagisa added.
"Sure," nodded Kaito.
Ushio studied Kaito for a moment, it was strange, the last time she had seen him they were still a couple. Yet, being sat at the table with Kaito and her parents; it felt rather nostalgic to her, despite the two of them no longer being together. In truth she didn't know how to feel at this moment in time. Was she still made at Kaito? Did she still feel something for him? She didn't know herself. Shrugging off her thoughts she returned to her meal and the conversation at hand.
A while later dinner had finished so Kaito had said goodbye to Tomoya and Nagisa. Ushio had said that she wanted to take a walk with him so she and Kaito had made their way to the local park. The park sat outside the Furukawa bakery, a place they had often visited when they were in school together. As the two of them sat on one of the benches, Kaito looked on at the bakery and gave a nod. "How is the old man anyway?"
"Aki?" Ushio asked.
"Yeah," he nodded.
"He's fine, the same as always I suppose ... mom always says he hasn't changed since she was a kid."
"And Sanae?"
"Both fine." She said, giving him a nod as she looked to the floor, softly tapping on the ground with her foot. Kaito studied her for a moment, letting out a sigh he spoke.
"You've changed."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"How so?" Ushio wondered.
"You just seem different. You look different."
"Is that a bad thing?"
"No, a good thing," Kaito stated, Ushio raised an eyebrow at him. "I don't mean like that," he said in a dry voice. "You know."
"Okay."
"You're just ... you seem less naive I guess," acknowledged Kaito.
"I never knew I was naive," she said. "I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or not."
"Take it as you will," Kaito mumbled as he laid he head back against the back of the wooden bench.
"Well, you've barely changed. You're still as blunt as always." Ushio replied.
"Right," Kaito nodded. Ushio went quiet for a moment, she looked over Kaito. His eyes were closed as he let the dimming sun linger on his face. His short stubble cast a slight shadow to the side of itself. You do seem different though, Ushio thought to herself, though she couldn't place her finger on what it was. She gave a weak smile as she spoke.
"I should probably tell you something Kaito." She said.
"What's that?" He asked as he opened an eye.
"Well, I mean I don't think I have to tell you. I think I want to though," she muttered.
"Just say it," Kaito huffed.
"Okay ... I have a boyfriend." Ushio went quiet as she and Kaito shared a sharp look. Kaito closed his one opened eye as he breathed deeply.
"Good for you," he mumbled.
"What?" Ushio asked, rather unsure at to what the man had just said.
"Good for you," repeated Kaito.
"Good for you?"
"I'm not repeating myself again."
"What's that supposed to mean? Good for you." She asked.
"Well, what do you expect me to say?" Kaito wondered as he propped his head up and looked on at her. Ushio shrugged her shoulders as she spoke.
"I don't know, it just sounds a little condescending is all."
"Well then," Kaito began. He rubbed his eyes as he stared at Ushio for a moment. "Congratulations?"
"Fine," Ushio huffed.
"Honestly though, we've barely spoken in three years. I don't know what to say to something like that." Kaito thought for a moment, he didn't particularly enjoy putting so much effort into a conversation, let alone discussing Ushio's current romances. "I don't have a girlfriend if that's what you want to hear."
"Why would I want to-"
"Let's just stop this. I really can't be bothered." He moaned as he stood up and gave a stretch. Ushio focused on Kaito. He looked tired, unfocused ... a little sad.
"So ... hasn't there been any girls?" Ushio asked, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. Kaito let out a sigh as turned around to face her.
"One or two, nothing serious though," replied Kaito. "Happy now?"
"Don't be silly," Ushio said as she gave him a weak smile. Kaito slowly sat back down next to the girl. He began to pick at the side of the wooden bench, tearing off a few wood chips here and there. Ushio was still, staring forward at the small park, looking over the swings that barely moved in the soft breeze.
"So, what's his name?" Kaito finally asked.
"Satoru."
"Satoru," Kaito echoed. "Wait, Sato-ru?" Ushio gave him an annoyed look.
"No. Sa-toru ," stated Ushio. Kaito shook his head.
"You do understand the irony in that though, right?" Kaito scoffed.
"I don't think I'd call it irony, maybe just a coincidence," Ushio sighed.
"Whatever you say," Kaito sighed. Ushio looked at him as Kaito stared back. Ushio began to laugh, catching Kaito off guard. As he looked at her, laughing to herself, Kaito smiled. It was, for him, the first genuine smile he had done in a long time.
Takeshi heard the lock turn in the front door as it swung open and his friend slumped in. "Sup man," Takeshi said as he stood in front of the stove, watching a simmering pot.
"Not again Keshi," Kaito moaned as he sat down at the table, placing his feet up on it.
"It's just a few new recipes," Takeshi let out a sigh.
"Right," Kaito nodded.
"So?" Takeshi mumbled as he turned the hob down and took a seat opposite Kaito, pushing his feet away from the top of the table.
"So what?"
"How did it go?"
"You mean dinner?" Kaito asked. Takeshi gave his friend a nod. "Alright ... Ushio was there."
"Ushio? Really?"
"No, I'm lying," Kaito muttered.
"Huh?"
"Doesn't matter," Kaito sighed.
"How is she then?" Takeshi asked as he placed his feet up onto the table. Kaito glared at him for a moment. Taking a deep breath, he spoke.
"Fine."
"Fine?" Takeshi mimicked.
"Yeah, it was neither that bad nor that good ... hence fine." Kaito groaned. Takeshi sighed as he tapped on the table with his fingers.
"What's new with Ushio then?" He wondered.
"Not much, she's got a boyfriend now. I didn't really ask about much else." Kaito let out yet another sighed, "They were mainly asking me questions."
"So, how do you feel about her having a boyfriend?" Takeshi asked as he stared at his friend.
"I don't feel anything towards it."
"Right ... I forgot you're devoid of all emotion," Takeshi scoffed.
"Piss off, I really don't wanna talk about it," Kaito sneered as he stood up and walked through the archway that lead to the living room. Takeshi followed him through; he spoke just before Kaito reached his bedroom door that stood at the other end of the room.
"You're still going tomorrow right?" Takeshi asked. Kaito stood still, turning to face Takeshi he nodded.
"You're still driving me right?"
"Course man," Takeshi smiled.
"Okay," nodded Kaito.
"You don't have to them anything you don't want to but just try okay?"
"I will," Kaito replied as he turned back around and entered his room, closing the door behind him. Takeshi looked on at the closed door.
"I hope you'll be okay man," he uttered as he turned away and moved back into the kitchen to continue his cooking.
"And then, I broke up with her. She didn't really say anything though ... she just left. That's always bothered me to be honest." Kaito muttered, "That's it really." The doctor looked on at Kaito in disbelief.
"That's a lot for one person to go through," the man said. Kaito nodded as he reached into his pocket.
"Sorry but I really need a smoke," Kaito stated as he took a cigarette packet out as well as a a lighter.
"You can't smoke in here."
"What?" Kaito muttered as he held a cigarette in his mouth.
"You can't smoke in here, it's against the law."
"Since when?"
"Since about 2010," the doctor retorted. Kaito took the cigarette out of his mouth and placed it back into the packet. "First off, I'm going to recommend that you try and quit that as soon as possible. It won't be helping you at all."
"It's just a bit of smoke," Kaito replied.
"I'd strongly recommend it."
"I guess I could try and cut down," Kaito said with a sigh.
"Look, I'm going to be honest with you Mr. Sakumoto-"
"Kaito, it's just Kaito."
"Alright, Kaito," the doctor said, "you're quite obviously depressed. Frankly, it's quite amazing how much you've been through, to say how well you've come out of it. You've told me about your parents, your grandmother, and your best friend ... the absolute need you felt to leave your girlfriend. Do you feel that you've ever truly been happy?" Kaito went quiet as he thought for a moment. His eyes met the floor as he looked back on his memories. Flashes of his parents ran through his mind, of his grandmother, of Juni ... of Ushio. He looked back up as he swallowed his breath.
"The only time I truly remember being happy was high school. The first month or so that I was with Ushio ... everything just seemed to be so right, I had my friends ... Ushio, Keshi, Yumi, Kumiko ... Juni." Kaito wiped his eyes. "We were all together, we were all happy and now. Now, I just feel alone," Kaito caught his breath. "I know I'm not. Takeshi has always been there for me ... god knows I owe so much to him. Still, I can't help but feel so helpless ... all the time." The doctor readjusted his glasses before he spoke.
"I think, regarding what you have been through Kaito. Well, I feel that it's a natural response. I think it may also be what is fuelling these nightmares of yours, causing your insomnia."
"They're not nightmares ... at least they didn't start out that way. I've had them for a long time though. It's only now they've been so frequent." Kaito sighed.
"You told me that you've always blamed yourself for what has happened to others. Your parents, your friend, even your grandmother. I think that ... that these dreams are a manifestation of your feelings, the unresolved issues that you have."
"I don't understand how that's possible," uttered Kaito.
"Dreams can be heavily manipulated by feelings and thoughts Kaito. That much has always been clear."
"S-so what do I do?" Kaito asked in a rather worried tone.
"I can recommend something's to you, but ultimately it'll be down to you if you want things to change." Kaito gave a nod. The doctor reached into a draw under his desk. After rummaging for a while through several papers he produced a leaflet and handled it to Kaito. "That's for a self help group; they're for people like you."
"What do they do?" Kaito asked.
"You talk to others who have had the same experiences as yourself. Support each other and help each other." The doctor smiled, "The times are on the back." Kaito turned the leaflet over as he looked over the information. "You need to also help yourself Kaito." The young man looked up. "At the end of the day, only you can truly help yourself. You need to come to terms with your issues and feelings. Reach out to others, find a passion for something."
"I guess that makes sense," Kaito nodded.
"I want you to come and see me every two weeks. Just for check ups and a little chat. I'm going to need to keep and eye on your condition." The doctor stated, Kaito gave him another nod. "If you don't make the appointments I'll be calling in on you okay?"
"Yeah ... I got it," Kaito replied. "Thanks," Kaito said, forcing a smile.
"Your welcome," the man nodded.
"What about the dreams?" Kaito questioned. The man let out a sigh before he spoke.
"There's nothing I can do or give you to help get rid of the dreams. I'm certain they'll diminish as you make progress. However, I can prescribe you some medicine to help you relax, allowing for you to sleep easier. It won't help the dreams but it may be able to give you a full night's sleep. Would that be okay?"
"Yeah," Kaito nodded. The doctor brought out a form and began to fill it out. After signing the form he handed it to Kaito.
"Take that to your chemist, everything should be okay."
"Thank you," Kaito nodded. The doctor returned the nod as he said goodbye to Kaito. Kaito left the office and made his way out into the waiting room.
"Hey," Takeshi said as he saw Kaito come through the door. Standing up, he approached his friend. "How did it go?" Kaito handed Takeshi the leaflet he had received from the doctor. Looking over it, Takeshi spoke. "Shit."
"Yep," Kaito uttered. Takeshi looked back up to Kaito.
"Don't worry man, it's totally normal," smiled Takeshi. The two of them went quiet.
"It's not though is it?" Kaito mumbled. Takeshi gave an uneasy laugh.
"No but, dude, it's going to be okay. I'm here for you okay?" Takeshi smiled.
"Thanks Keshi, that means a lot," Kaito replied. Takeshi gave another smile as he gestured with his head and the two of them left the waiting room. Outside, they made their way over to Takeshi's car and got inside.
"All set?" Takeshi asked.
"Yeah," Kaito replied as he closed his eyes and leant his head on the window. He was ready for home.
~*52*~
Please, if you are going to write about spoilers in your review, place a spoiler warning at the beginning. If you do not, your review will be removed - Thank you.
Sorry this one took so long to get out. Uni work piled up. I'll try to get the next chapter out within the next week. :)
