Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all. I own Aiden and Macey.


They warned me the beginning would feel like the end.

But this time the end was a greater surprise than it had ever been. Greater than any end I'd remembered in nine lives. Greater than jumping down an elevator shaft. I had expected no more memories, no more thoughts. What kind of end was this?

It was like I never left.

Her eyes began to get blurry as they drifted closed. And continued until she could see no more. Until we could see no more.

To say that I was shocked when I found out that I could still be aware of things while Wanda was unconscious is an understatement.

I always thought that we were fully connected when it came to physical things.

Like when she was asleep, I was asleep. That sort of thing.

And it started out like that.

From the point of when she was put into my body to the point of when she gave birth to Aiden and Maecella.

I don't know what happened at that point, maybe there was some glitch in the medicine they gave her or maybe there was a glitch in our brain, I don't know, but ever since then, I was awake when she was asleep. I could hear things while she was asleep, smell things, think. All things I shouldn't have been able to do.

At first I couldn't see. Her eyes were closed and that meant so where mine when she was asleep. But then I was slowly able to start taking control of our body. Little by little, I would start by opening our eyes just a fraction and then would work until I could have them fully open without it draining all of my energy. Then I would start with raising our hands off the bed a few inches and holding them up for awhile, until I got tired. Then I was able to have arms off the bed and was able to hold them. And I continued to work and get stronger until I could actually have control of our whole body and was able to take walks around the apartment during the night.

But I never let Wanda know.

It was my secret, because, then, I started to plan.

I had control of our whole body, but what would I need it for. What would I use it for? To take over Wanda? To erase Wanda? No, I could never have done that, I loved her like I loved Jamie. She was my sister.

I accepted the fact that I was never going to really live again. I was never going to have my body back to myself. And truthfully, I didn't want it anymore. Not without Wanda. She completed our body. It was more of her than it was me. It would never just be my body again.

And as much as I loved Wanda, and Jamie. No matter how much I wanted to be with them and be in their lives until we all grew old, I didn't want to be trapped in this body that didn't seem like it was mine anymore.

And then one night, an idea popped into my head. I couldn't erase Wanda, but I could erase myself.

At the time, I knew it would never work. I couldn't leave Wanda on her own with two human children knowing one day they would have to become Souls. I couldn't leave when they had no one to protect them.

And I couldn't leave not knowing if Jared and Jamie were alive, if they were safe and they made it to Jeb's.

But then I thought, if I could get Wanda and the twins to Jeb's place, if he had escaped, I knew they could be safe with him. And then I could find out if Jared and Jamie were with him. I knew Jared would keep Jamie alive, even if they weren't with Jeb.

But if Jeb's place wasn't there and he wasn't there, then I would stay with Wanda, and maybe try and find Jared and Jamie so she could be safe with them.

Then and only then would I be able to… leave peacefully, knowing that all of them were safe and together.

Now that I had a plan that would work, I started to plan of what I would need to happen for it to go smoothly. Like the list of things Wanda would need to keep Aiden and Macey alive in the desert. How long I would stay after until I knew she and the twins were safe. And then the backup plan if we needed to find Jared and Jamie.

I had everything planned out. Or so I thought I had.

I never thought that I would also play matchmaker.

I honestly never knew how much it was of Wanda herself that loved Jared, and not just my feelings that were leaking onto her.

Not until we actually saw Jared and she nearly knocked me out from the emotions that she was feeling for him.

I also never really knew how much I was planning on her and Jared being together. Not just together as parents of their children or as friends. But actually being together and loving each other. That part was another shock that hit me.

Perhaps I never really realized how much I planned on it, because I thought that it was never possible. The only time it really hit me, that it was possible, that it could happen, was during the first couple weeks. I would study Jared and how he would look at her when she was aware or awake. How he would caress her cheek when she was asleep. I could tell in his eyes that he was falling for her and he was doing his best to fight it.

Such a stubborn man. He was fighting a battle he already lost.

So I changed my plan. I would stay until I knew that Jared really accepted that he was in love with Wanda. Until I knew he wasn't going to turn away from her and blame her for my leaving.

I knew my time was coming to an end when Jared got home from that first raid. And he stopped Kyle from killing Wanda. That was the moment I knew that he really loved her.

I knew he wasn't lying when he said he didn't know why he saved her those first couple times. He loved her, but didn't know it yet. But I knew he was lying that last time. He knew, and I was okay with that. I planned on it. I was happy. Now I could leave.

After being accidentally erased from Wanda, showed me how to erase myself. That part I never really had a plan for. I guess I was just planning on winging it. However it happened, it was going to happen. But found learned how to do it. And I never knew it was so simple. I could have done it all along. Even without the control of our body.

So now laying here, preparing to leave this life. I can't help but feel a little scared and a little sad. Knowing I won't be able to see my little Jamie grow up to be a man, see him meet a girl he'll love for the rest of his life. I'll never get to see Aiden and Macey, my children, grow up or see Wanda and Jared raise them. I would miss all of that. I would miss them. Even Ian.

But I know I'm doing the right thing. I know that I'm giving up my life to the one person who deserves it. My sister.

They'll mourn me, but they'll get over it. They'll have her. She'll make it better. She'll take care of them. She'll be their family now. They will love her. And she'll love them. Forever.

I can find joy in dying now. Knowing that my family is all together. Knowing that they will always be taken care of. Knowing that they are safe and loved. And always will be.

And I will always love them.

I will always love you, my sister.

Goodbye, Wanda.

My body was shaking. My chest was heaving. Tears were rolling down my cheeks.

No, no, no, no…

"Doc. Doc! I think she's in pain." Jamie exclaimed.

Oh, Jamie. Oh, no. What will I tell him?

No, no, no, no…

Melanie? I croaked.

No answer.

Melanie, please come back.

Still no answer.

Tears poured from my eyes.

"Wanda? Wanda, are you okay? Can you hear me? Can you open your eyes for us, honey?" A soft, but firm voice asked. Jeb.

No. No, I don't want to. I want Melanie.

"Use the Awake."

Yes. Yes, I want to wake from this nightmare. I want to go back. I want to go eat lunch with Jared and Jamie. I want to cuddle Aiden and Macey. I want to have conversations with Melanie.

Melanie? I sobbed.

Nothing.

I could feel a warm pressure on my hand. A small hand barely fitting its way around mine. Another small hand was brushing back my hair.

"Wanda? Please wake up. I don't want to lose you, too…" Jamie's voice broke.

More tears welled up in my eyes, but fortunately I was able to keep them at bay.

I tried one last time.

Mel? I need you to come back. Please… Mel?

But there was no answer, like I knew there'd be none.

I choked back a sob of sorrow that wanted to break free. It would just throw me into another fit and I couldn't wait any longer.

I knew it was time to wake up now, whether or not I really wanted to.

I remembered where everything was. I didn't have trouble locating my body parts like used to have whenever I started a new life. My hands were clenched at my sides. I knew where my eyes were. Nothing had changed. I was easily able to open my eyes.

They were bleary; it took a few moments for them to clear up. And when they did, I could see a boyish face with long, gangly dark hair hanging over me.

His small hand came up to patted my face. "Wanda?" Jamie questioned.

I sat up slowly, making sure my head wasn't going to starting rolling and I would get sick. "Jamie."

His chin quivered and he flew into my lap, his arms going around my neck. "She's gone, Wanda! Mel's gone!"

I wrapped my arms around, trying to hold back my own sobs from starting up again. "I know. I'm so sorry." I tightened my arms around him.

He sobbed into my shoulder. His tears seeped through my shirt and into my skin. His breath came in heartbreaking heaves. I rubbed his back slowly, hoping to sooth him. It took him a couple minutes to calm down.

"She wouldn't wake up." He whispered.

A hand landed on my shoulder. Kind, gentle. Doc.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, sitting down by my feet.

"Fine. I'm okay," I murmured. "What happened?"

He sighed. "I did what you asked and took you out, and I was holding you in my palm when a knife came around my throat."

My head snapped towards him. "Who?"

"Jared, he apparently woke up and saw you missing, it didn't take long to figure it out, and when he came here and told me to put you in the cryotank or I was going to lose my life."

"He didn't mean it." Jamie piped in.

"Yes, Jamie, I'm pretty sure he did. Anyways, we waited for Melanie to wake, we waited three days, but she never did. Then I made the decision to put you back in."

"It took you forever to wake up. I thought I lost you, too." Jamie stated quietly.

I cradled him to my chest. "Never."

I held him for a moment quietly.

"Where is he?" I murmured to Doc.

He knew who I was talking about.

"Your room, with the twins. He went to watch them after a few days."

I sighed. "I should go see him."

I lifted Jamie off my lap, and placed him in my spot on the cot. I gave him a kiss on the forehead. "I'll see you later."

The walk to my room, our room, was more harder than the walk to my death. Because I don't know what to expect. Anger. Sadness. Resentment. I don't know what I'm facing.

That's probably why my hands were shaking as I reached to pull back the screen leaning against the entrance to our room. Probably the reason why my heart took off when I saw him sitting on the floor, leaning against the mattress, with his knees drawn up and his head down. But that also could have been just because of him. Because of Jared.

His head didn't lift when the screen was settled back against the entrance, nor when I walked in. Not even when I kneeled right in front of him.

I waiting, think that maybe he was just gathering his bearings, that he would talk soon. But he didn't.

It felt like hours went by, when really; I knew it was only a few minutes.

"Hi." I finally whispered.

He didn't move. Didn't make a sound.

I sighed. "I'm sorry, Jared. I didn't ex-"

"You went to die." He cut me off, his voice low, his head not raising. "You didn't go with the plan of going to another planet. You went to die. To leave me. To leave Aiden and Mace. You went in the middle of the night. Never on planning on even saying goodbye to me. Not even letting me say goodbye to you."

My voice croaked. "You wouldn't have let me."

"You're right! I wouldn't have!" He snapped. His head finally lifting. "What were you thinking, Wanda? You weren't! You weren't thinking! You didn't think of Aiden or Macey! You didn't think of me! Did you even consider how I would have felt if I were to have lost you? Or did you think I would have gotten over it quickly because I lost Mel before?"

"No, no. Of course not." I shook my head. "But it was going to be fine. You were going to have Melanie."

"It's not the same, I don't want her!" He grabbed my hands. "She wouldn't have helped, because I'm not in love with Melanie."

"But-but… you said you loved her."

"And I do. But I wasn't in love. I love her in a way where I mourn her. I am mourning her, but I said goodbye to her a long time ago." He grabbed me and pulled me into his lap. "Do you have any idea, at all, how much it would have killed me if you had died. When are you ever going to realize how much I really love you?"

I sniffled. "I'm realizing it pretty quickly now."

He chuckled quietly. "No, I don't think you or I will ever realize the true extent." He pulled my face around to his. "Promise me you'll never try that again. Promise me you'll never try to remove yourself from me."

"I promise."

With that, he pulled my lips to him, and it was molten lava again, no gasoline to flame, just pure hot, slowly moving lava covering every inch of me.

By the time we pulled away, we were stealing each other's gasps.

"Will you stay?" He asked, one hand caressing my cheek, the other squeezing hip.

I nodded. "I'll stay." And I pulled his lips back to mine.


Author's Note: Yeah, so…don't kill me. It had to be done. Thank you all for the previous reviews. One more chapter after this!

In response to Rez: Thank you for reviewing!

See you soon!

-BethDee