Sorry for the delay, struggling a bit, but pulling through with help. Please review it helps.

Spike was sitting on his bed the next day, reflecting on his time at the Harvester project, he took a deep breath and suddenly felt overwhelmed; he realised how far he'd come and all that was going through his head was how his team helped him get there, Spike looked out at the long path that led to the gates again and sighed. He just wanted to get out now.

His head was spinning at thoughts of leaving though, he knew he could handle himself, but this has been his home for the last 3 months, the last time he was on the other side of the gates, he left hell for his team to pick up, his head snapped to attention when the door opened.

"You alright buddy?" Sam said mildly concerned.

"Yeah" Spike said, trying to sound enthusiastic.

Sam just looked at him, he knew he was lying and after the events yesterday by the side of the river, and the letters from the team he was concerned he had pushed too far too soon. Sam could read the stress in Spike's body language; see the slight panic in his eyes that crept out every once in a while, still…three months later and it was still there.

"Spike, maybe you should tal-" Sam stopped when Spike shook his head at him.

Sam just sighed as he went and sat on his bed, he sat right back so his back was on the wall and for a minute just stared at his buddy. Spike could hear Sam's brain at work and turned to look at him, Spike could see the stress in his eyes, the faint circles beginning to appear, he had caused that and it weighed heavily upon him and his loyalty. He looked over at his friend and leaned back against the wall himself, trying to get comfortable after a gruelling physio session with Mikhail in the pool and the dojo, he felt good, tired but stronger.

"Sam, I'm so sorry for all the pain I have caused, I'm a total pain in the arse I know, and I feel so guilty that I'm putting you through this. Sam, please know that if you ever want to leave, I wouldn't be hurt or mad, I would completely understand." Spike blurted out suddenly.

Sam stared into Spikes eyes intensely, and he could see genuine guilt and fear, there was a long pause, as Sam stared at Spike before he got a sudden flash of anger and leaned towards the other man and hissed.

"Spike, I have known you for over 5 years, and you really think after all we've been through so far that I would walk out, what do you take me for?" Sam said sternly.

Spike swallowed nervously and clenched the pillow tighter, a nervous habit he had developed to handle the pain, one he would need to stop hiding behind.

"I knew what I was in for before I came here, and I sure as hell would never let you go through it alone, so drop the guilt! I will never, in a million years, leave you to do this alone, do you understand? You helped me through some of the worst days I have ever had, remember the ice rink? I had quit the SRU and you single handily stocked my locker again and stood there in support, this is family loyalty and friendship, we never leave anyone behind!"

Spike just nodded sheepishly as he looked back out the window as he tried to avoid the anger from Sam, and the disappointment he was feeling, Sam knew he was still feeling guilty but it was something Spike needed to realise himself or it would start to eat him up again, that was something that scared Sam badly.

He ran his hand through his hair and took a couple of soothing breaths before he moved the topic from the elephant in the room, this was going to be difficult on Spike, maybe even cause a setback in his recovery.

"Spike…" Sam waited.

He waited for a few moments until Spike looked at him, he looked scared again; his body posture all tightly compacted to make him appear smaller. That was a massive sign of a setback for Sam, he would need to tell Mikhail and Maria and get their advice.

"I… we have some news, hopefully positive news and I need to know exactly what you feel when I tell you alright?" Spike nodded and tried to release the death grip on the pillow.

"We are bringing you a visitor from the team today, to see how you cope and then we will bring the rest of the team over the next couple of days, should today go well and there are no issues," he explained.

Sam's heart melted at the look of pure happiness in Spike's eyes, he looked like a child waking up to a room full of presents on Christmas day, Sam was slightly nervous for the next bit, he felt the lump in his throat, the sweat on begin to appear on his palms. He didn't like this but Mikhail explained the first visitor had to be the one who made an impact and might cause problems, so they could deal with it before he made progress with everyone else.

"Spike, you need to know this first" Sam paused. He saw the look of confusion on his face.
"It's going to be Ed." Sam looked closely for Spike's reaction.

Spike felt his heart rate rise, the bile in his throat, he gave Sam a small smile, hoping Sam couldn't see how fake it was, the tears began to show as he bit them back, he tried to control the slight shake in his hands.

Sam noticed immediately.

"Spike, tell me what you are feeling, what do you need?"

Sam was off the bed at this rate as he watched Spike break down in front of him, his eyes going wild as his pulse rose and the flashbacks hit him one after another. Sam was quick, but Spike was quicker as he pushed off from the bed and ran out of the room and down the stairs towards the kitchen area. He followed his buddy down the stairs and saw Maria on the floor with Mikhail beside her as the backdoor lay open.

"Go after him!" she ordered.

Both Mikhail and Sam bolted out of the kitchen and looked at the horizon as they searched for their charge; they split up and searched the local area of the barn and gym, the field and river, there was no sign of him anywhere. Mikhail contacted Maria and asked her to trace the GPS tag, it was in the bedroom, Spike had disabled it and removed it from his ankle. Sam came around from the old path leading to the river and shook his head at Mikhail.

"What the hell happened, Sam?" he demanded.

Sam looked at him and raised his hands in surrender.

"I told him about the visit as we discussed, his heart rate increased, breathing became erratic and then he bolted, it was like he was relieving the day again, I thought we had got past this part with the room?" he explained.

"Apparently our charge hasn't been fully honest with us about how he is feeling recently, I noticed the quick changes in his mood and he has been pretty vicious at the gym dojo, how has he been sleeping?" Mikhail replied calming down slightly.

Sam looked at him and shook his head slightly.

"I noticed it a few days ago, he is sleeping less, his stress is up and I thought he was just bored, apparently not!" Sam replied.

Maria came running out of the house and ran towards the two men who were near the gate, she had the phone in her hand and the gate keys.

"Maria what's wrong?" both men demanded.

"Officer Lane just called, he arrived at the main gate and found Spike lying unconscious on the opposite side, and he's bringing him here fast!"

Maria ran for the main gates and opened them up as she heard the SUV sound its horn as it came over the hill, Mikhail ran back inside to grab the portable spine chair as Sam grabbed the first aid bag and ran out to meet the incoming injured.

Ed had the scare of his life as he pulled up to the main gate a mile away and saw a body lying on the ground, he got out and saw it was Spike and dialled the house immediately to get entry as he explained what he had found; Maria explained he ran out around an hour ago and the alarm had never gone off to signal the gates opening. After checking for vitals, he managed to drag Spike to the SUV and pull him into the back chairs and hit the accelerator to get to the house and help.

He pulled up less than thirty seconds later and shouted on Sam to help him get Spike out of the seats and onto the chair that Mikhail was carrying over, seconds later they had him lying flat and hooked up to the portable monitor and manoeuvred to the lift to get him back upstairs to his room, where Maria was waiting.

"I think he just passed out with a panic attack before he could disable the main gate and leave the grounds, he has a few bumps and bruises but nothing serious and should wake up in the next little while." She explained as she checked him over.

The three men looked at her and nodded, Mikhail led them to the kitchen area where they all sat down and tried to relax their breathing and heart rates. Sam was shaking slightly, he thought he had pushed Spike far too hard with the news and broke him again.

Ed was frankly shocked, not exactly the way he wanted today to happen.

Mikhail was stressed as he recognised the setback Spike had, and that he wasn't ready to be released as they all hoped.

Maria came down a few minutes later and passed them all the fresh coffee pot and some cakes, they all looked done in and it was Sam who broke the silence.

"Have I done this to him, made him worse?" he whispered.

"No, we knew this could happen, Sam, we just didn't think he would tamper with the gate system and try and leave under such stressful circumstances. He will be alright, my guess is that his brain still sees Ed as a massive trigger, I doubt he was expecting his first visitor to be him, no offence!" Mikhail replied.

Ed nodded.

"I thought we got past this, he was open to talking about everything, why the setback?" Sam demanded suddenly angry.

"Because he still sees me as the person who killed his mother and brother, not as his friend," Ed replied honestly.

The room was silent again as they all rested for a few moments, and then Mikhail made a move to go upstairs and start the first watch on Spike, Ed stopped him. Mikhail nodded and directed him to the top of the stairs and gave him the radio in case he needed help.

Ed slowly made his way up the stairs and into the room that had been prepped again for Spike, as he lay on his bed attached to the monitors, Ed remembered the last time he saw Spike like this and sighed as he saw the young man look no better than before. He knew he was a lot stronger now, but apparently he was still a massive trigger for Spike and would have to be careful in his actions and behaviour.

He took a seat across from the bed and pulled out his mobile phone, there was a message from Greg waiting on him.

'How's our boy doing, is he talking to you?'

Ed started typing a reply and then closed the phone when he finished. 'He tried to run, currently unconscious, I'm staying and sending Sam back tonight as temp TL.'
He heard his phone beep and the man on the bed moaned slightly, he leaned back on the chair and sighed, his blue eyes crystal clear and full of determination as he looked at his friend.

"Sleep kiddo, for tomorrow brings a new world!"