Survey: investigate the opinions or experience of (a group of people) by asking them questions.
Excellent. Jane Shepard at the counter. Many questions to ask regarding relationship with turian male. Human-turian relationships enigmatic. Mechanics unknown. Lots of research to be done. Dubious propaganda created by Alliance and Hierarchy regarding allergy risks.
Nonsense.
Identity of turian irrelevant currently. Not surprised regarding her pairing with Saren Arterius. Humans fond of saying "opposites attract".
He sat at the bar. Was empty.
Human smile. Gentle parabolic incline of lips. Friendly human gesture.
He returned it and her eyes joined the smile. Very intimate greeting. Couldn't help feeling well at ease. Caedus warned him before leaving that she was in a bad mood. Glad to see it has dissipated.
"Hello Dr Solus. What can I get you?
Honorific flattering but they were equals. He'd read her thesis paper, one of his many areas of expertise; cybernetics. Very well researched, very little derivative material. Good read. Would recommend to others in the field.
"Hello Dr Shepard, Mordin is fine. Didn't come for drinks. Have... questions to ask, if willing."
Her eyes rolled. A peculiar gesture. Human microexpressions so versatile! Could be expressing humour, exasperation, contempt... possibilities were endless. Varied from human to human.
Inefficient, yet utterly fascinating. His lecture series on humans had proved incredibly popular, surprisingly amongst turians the most, perhaps he'd ask her to star in the psychology section. Incredibly expressive for a human.
"Sure, Mordin. Go ahead. But you should call me Jane."
Perfect! No need to refer to omnitool to remember the questions, had memorized all 196 survey questions before arriving. Though would be needed to record answers to exact detail.
Paraphrasing was weak empirical evidence. Sign of poor scientist.
"Length of intimate relationship with turian male?"
Eyebrows rising towards fringe. Disbelief. No clear reason for disbelief. Perfectly reasonable question.
"You're really going to ask this here?"
"Purely medical research. I am a doctor, confidentiality guaranteed!"
Understanding crossed her face. Medical confidentiality was universal regardless of species. Feel mild sense of kinship with her. Dr Chakwas his fellow medic was meant to join the Normandy on Eden Prime. Shame. Would like to compare scalpel techniques.
"... Alright. Try and be quieter though."
Of course! Humans responded to intimate questions best when they are whispered. Provided sense of security and candidness. Even if no one within hearing range to listen.
He would whisper.
"... Length of intimate relationship with turian male?"
Eyebrows touching fringe now. Extreme disbelief? She answered anyway. Good.
"Coming up to two weeks now."
Information unremarkable without further data. Noted regardless.
"Severity of chaffing and bruising following intercourse?"
Her reactions were just as fascinating as her answers. Her lips twisted in a peculiar shape. Like a crushed hanar. Will research later.
"Chaffing was only really noticeable the first time. He applied an oil to his plates each time following that and there's very little chaffing now, if any. Bruising can be bad at times. It depends on how rough he is with me."
Ah, use of lubricant. Spectre Arterius clearly cares for her to show such foresight! Noted. Interesting. Reduces likelihood of relationship based off of power fantasy.
"Use of teeth and talons in intercourse? If so, enjoyable?"
Skin a hue similar to her hair. Ah. Embarrassment! Nothing to be embarrassed about, marking and roughness typical of turian mating.
"Yes. He uses both teeth and talons. It's awoken some masochistic tendencies in me... so.. yes, it is enjoyable."
Wouldn't ask where. Too personal. Arterius must be in a constant state of control not to tear her apart. Had the sharpest talons he'd ever seen on a turian. Human flesh regrettably...
Fragile.
"Differences in turian phallus to human proven difficult to adjust to?"
Human phallus generally smooth, mushroom headed and cylindrical in shape. Turian on other hand came to a tapered point and thickened along the shaft, could prove too wide for even asari who can dull pain via melding. Generally longer too than humans. Ridges likely provide more tactile sensation alongst walls depending on level of arousal in male. Lubricant secreted tends to soften them otherwise human softness would be rubbed raw. Base will prove challenging depending on thickness of turian male. Lucky for her Arterius wouldn't tie with her. Likely taking suppressants from time in military. Most turians did until retirement or decision to have children. Knotting whilst on a military vessel... not tactically sound. Turian females release hormone that allows them to dilate as the male's base swells. Increased chance of pregnancy. A popular fetish for asari surprisingly.
"I can't believe I'm going to answer this..."
Said with a smile and cheeks a faint hue of red. Despite embarrassment, Jane proving very open to discussion. Had expected bribery to be needed.
"The ridges feel really good and his lubricant helps a lot as he's a lot thicker than what I'm used to. If he doesn't... prepare me, it can be really painful, especially the base. I've been wondering... what is the purpose of it?"
Excellent! Best part of surveys! Mutual exchange of information. Would happily answer!
With smile on face he answered.
"Swells during intercourse to form a seal to increase chance of pregnancy. Not unlike Earth canines."
She looked slightly confused, head taken aback. Definitely on suppressants. Lack of disgust expected, Jane seemed very laid-back.
"Your partner likely taking suppressants to prevent from happening. Intercoital knotting forbidden on turian military vessels. Having personnel stuck together during emergency could prove fatal."
An absent nod met him. Likely had questions that she wanted to personally ask her partner. Hope she would try it. Would be interested in asking her how it fared. Humans generally stretchier than asari, could be possible. He would forward her to one of his old friends from the academy on Sur'Kesh if there was tearing. He specialized in asari gynaecological reconstructive surgery. Humans not so dissimilar.
"Is partner able to bring you to orgasm? If so, how many times?"
Ah. Sexual performance of partner proved exception to her patience. Brow twitching now. What an expressive muscle. Would like to see electrical activity of muscle synapses whenever it moved.
"Okay. Woah. Woah. Woah...! How many of these questions do you have?"
He'd asked 5 questions now. 191 to go.
"Only 191 more."
"191!"
Response almost a shout. Manager noticed and approaching. Very attuned to Jane's mood to realize her exclamation was not conversational, but rather out of disbelief, or discomfort. Must be very close.
Manager's subvocals filled with annoyance and.. protectiveness. Close friends then. Fascinating. Human female and turian female friendships incredibly rare. Many notes to take later.
"What seems to be the problem? Are you giving Jane some trouble?"
Jane's lips were in that hanar shape like earlier. It seemed almost smug. Ah... he understood. Her exclamation was calculated. Intelligence wasted on bartending. Pity.
She wished to play it like this. Perfectly happy to resort to bribery. Manager was well known on Citadel for being the only turian on the Citadel with the business sense of a volus.
"Asking Ms Shepard questions for a survey. She agreed."
If anything, her subvocals grew with more annoyance. He'd lay the trap soon.
"She has no obligation to answer your questions. It's her job to serve drinks, not to be a data point."
Trap time.
"More than willing to make it worth her while. Head of Salarian Medical Society in Citadel space and have family well acquainted with the Dalatrasses of Sur'Kesh. Can send friendly word about Lounge to both society and family. Word of mouth powerful amongst salarians."
Not as powerful as good data, but powerful enough.
Manager intrigued. Mandibles quirked in vague amusement. Jane seemed a little amused even. Clearly not too offended by questions. Just didn't want to answer anymore.
"I think you can offer a little more. After all, she is a valuable employee. Very valuable in fact."
Hype surrounding her kava only second to new weapons and adventure shop, Rodam Expeditions on Zakera Ward for turians. Surprising so few know of her connection to Commander Shepard. Both of them two of the most well known humans to turians on Citadel.
"Presenter of popular extranet lecture series on humans, Humans 101. Could use Ms Shepard on series about the effects of caffeine and alcohol on pre-space flight human society. Serve as.. product placement for the Lounge. Will be referred to as worker at Nilia's Lounge in lectures. A specialist on human drinks."
Sociological connections of tea and coffee to human bureaucracy always fascinating. A trope in their culture.
Manager nodding almost excitedly. Subvocals filled with excitement. Trap perfect.
"I like it.. maybe you should take a picture of her now and use it as a teaser. With the bar behind her, a cup of tea in her hand. Maybe have her inhaling the steam."
Interesting idea. Have alcoholic beverages fully displayed behind her. Cup of tea in hand, centerfold. Had potential.
Jane seemed almost excited too. A bright smile on her face. Excellent. Would have unsettled him to have unwilling participant.
She quickly brewed a cup of tea and posed with a slight lean down. Eyes closed, lips curved in a soft smile and nose above the cup.
Was a natural. Helped that she was considered beautiful by human standards. Would likely attract asari and human viewers to the lecture series.
"Excellent. Taking picture now."
Always wanted to say this. Thought it was a nice joke.
"Coagulated mammary gland excretion!"
Manager confused. Subvocals rife with disgust.
"What?"
Jane chuckling slightly into the cup.
"Cheese."
Picture came out better than expected. Jane incredibly photogenic. Try and persuade her to become a regular on the show if she proves well suited. Hadn't been this excited since leaving the Krogan DMZ to join the Normandy. He'd planned on spending final years on Omega. Likely run a clinic before succumbing to old age.
Manager smiling as she looked at the picture.
"Excellent Jane. The picture came out really well. I'll leave you to it, customers are waiting for me. You owe him a survey in exchange now."
Jane shook her head at the manager as she left. Humouring gesture clearly by the remaining smile on her face.
She took a sip of her tea.
"Two times, at least. Three most of the time."
What?.. Ah, yes! The survey.
