May 2000-December 2000

Monica and Chandler were officially getting married. He was happy, he was or wanted to be but there was part of him that felt jealous. He had gone through marriages three times and none had succeeded and Monica and Chandler were probably going to succeed as a couple. He didn't want to feel jealous, but he did. He also wondered how Rachel was handling the news and found her sitting in her room, staring at her old wedding dress.

"Hey, you alright?" Ross asked, staring at her from the doorway. She smiled at him.

"Yeah, yeah….what are you doing here?"

"I figured you might need some company," Ross said, walking in and closing the door behind him and sat on her bed.

"I'm Mon's Maid of Honor and Chandler's going to be your brother in law."

"Yep."

"How are you doing?" Rachel asked.

"Well, I'm happy for them."

"You know, they will probably remain married. Monica's not a lesbian and she probably won't leave Chandler at the altar," Rachel said.

"True….and Chandler will say the right name and neither one will be wasted," Ross said.

"And yet...I feel...I mean, they're getting married and you've been married three times. I ran out on a wedding and thanks to you have been divorced once and I'm happy….I am, it's just….I wish that….I'm being stupid."

"No, you're not….I get it."

"Do you think you'll ever get married again, Ross?"

"Yes. To you," Ross said, giving her a smile.

"Come on."

"No. Look, I know you and I have done some crazy things but I know in the end, we'll probably end up together."

"How do you know?" Rachel asked.

"I just do."

"Hmmm, well...what do you think our wedding will be like?"

"Better than Monica and Chandler's."

"Of course, we've had more practice," Rachel said as she kept staring at her old wedding dress, "you know, I should get rid of this. I mean, when I got it….when I tried it on that first time, I loved it. It was the perfect dress….just not the perfect wedding."

"Our wedding will be perfect," Ross said as he gently squeezed her hand.

"Then why don't we get back together? If it's going to happen, if you think it will...then maybe...should we give us another try?" Rachel asked, looking at Ross.

"We are good together," Ross said. They were good and maybe they could make it work...or not.

"We are but….sometimes we're not and when we're not-"

"It's bad," Ross said.

The two looked at each other, the tension between them apparent as it always was. There was so much to be said, so much that could be discussed. There was always that option, after all they were always each other's option.

"I just….I want to know what we should do?" Rachel asked.

"Take a break."

"I'm gonna kill you."

"Hey, you know I get to walk you down the aisle at Monica and Chandler's wedding."

"Yeah," Rachel said.

"We could try going on a date. Try again but….and don't take this the wrong way, Rach, but I think you just might want to start us again because Monica and Chandler are getting married."

"That's not true."

"Really?" Ross asked.

"Get out of my room."

"I'm just saying."

Rachel glared at him when he suddenly leaned in and kissed her, hard. She closed her eyes and gave into the kiss. G-d, he always loved kissing her. It always felt incredibly right to kiss her.

Their date finally came in October and it was to celebrate Rachel's job promotion. She was promoted to merchandising manager at Ralph Lauren. She got her own office and was in charge of keeping Ralph Lauren items in stores. It was pretty cool and she got her own assistant. She ended up hiring a sexy assistant named Tag which Ross found hilarious and could not help poking fun of her over margaritas and Mexican food.

"I thought you wanted to date me….or get married?" Ross asked.

"I'm not going to date him. He's my assistant. I get an assistant."

"Pretty cool. Even though you did hire yourself a boytoy."

"You dated a twenty year old," Rachel argued, "and I'm not dating him. I'm just going to watch him and mentor him."

"And help him become a man?"

"Bite me."

"Maybe later."

"You know, I did go to Chandler's office to get advice on interviewing," Rachel said.

"And?"

"Well, he's off the wagon. He was drinking in his office."

"You sure?"

"Yes. Even his assistant, Allie, was asking if something was wrong with him and then we went into his office and he has stuff...little bottles of booze and pills," Rachel said.

Ross let out a sigh. Ever since Monica and Chandler had gotten engaged, he had a feeling Chandler was getting better at hiding his drug and alcohol use. He had a feeling Chandler was lying to all of them and there was an even bigger part of him that no longer cared.

"I don't want to talk about this."

"You don't?" Rachel asked, confused.

"No. I'm tired. Look, I've been friends with the guy for thirteen years and maybe I'm being really selfish but I don't….I want a break."

"I understand."

"You know, I'm proud of you Rach."

"You are?"

"Yeah. I mean, you're a fashion executive. It's what you wanted."

"It is."

"And you have a boytoy."

"He is not my boytoy," Rachel said.

"Sure," Ross said.

Rachel smiled as they continued eating. This was nice, he liked hanging out with her. It was fun, it reminded him of the connection they always had with each other.

"I like this. You and me, on a date," Rachel said.

"Me too."

"So….let me ask you, you took care of Chandler for four years in college. You never went wild and crazy in college? You had no crazy college stories?"

"I dated and then married a lesbian," Ross said.

"No I'm serious Ross….the way you make it sound, all you did in college was babysit Chandler."

"I did that a lot."

"The entire time. You just watched as he drank a lot. You never drank with him? You never went off on your own?"

Ross looked at her and gave her a smile. Well, she had revealed certain things, maybe he could as well, "I….we….I did go with him sometimes and partied. I went out. I drank, I busted a move or two."

"Really? What's the craziest thing you've ever done...college, post college...I want stories."

"You know stories."

"Not all."

"Alright…when I was dating Carol...although, maybe this should have been a sign, Carol and I and another girl who was at our school-"

"Was it Lizzie?" Rachel asked.

"Chandler's ex, Lizzie….no," Ross said, "but me and Carol and this girl did have a threesome."

"Really?"

"Yep."

"Ooooo. I hated that girl Lizzie by the way."

"You did?" Ross asked, wondering why she hadn't mentioned this before.

"She just seemed bitchy."

"She put up with a lot. Honestly, if she had not been around, I would have killed him."

"Hmmm...well, if he keeps this up, we may all kill him or Chandler may kill himself."

"Quite possibly….so tell me more about this boytoy."

"He is not my boytoy."

"He is so your boytoy. Seriously, what happened to you wanting to find a husband and settle down?" Ross asked.

"I am. Tag and I have a connection."

"Really? You got that from the first interview?"

"Yes. It's a connection...of-of-"

"He's the American version of Paolo," Ross said.

"You take that back."

"I won't."

"I'm not dating him and you know what were you doing at 24 that was so great?"

"I was married, working on my PhD and working at a museum."

"Ehhh, bite me," Rachel remarked which made Ross laugh. It was moments like that, that made him miss her, miss being with her.

"You know, you aren't going to end up marrying him."

"I know that and how do you know?" Rachel asked.

"'Cause you're gonna end up marrying me."

"Well, that's dumb and arrogant….and we were already married."

"Yep but next time, I'll keep you in the loop."

"I don't want to marry you," Rachel said.

"Yes, you do."

"Not even a little bit. You're arrogant and you're jealous of Tag."

"No, I'm not. Although I do wish my boss was a hot thirty something who enjoyed staring at my ass."

"Get an ass like Tag's and I'll stare at it," Rachel shot back.

"I'll try….you know, Lizzie didn't like you either. She said you were mean to her at camp. Although she did say that she came in to Central Perk a few times when you worked there and you were nice."

"She did?"

"Yep."

"Why didn't she say anything?"

"I think...she really wanted nothing to do with Chandler. So she probably got her coffee and left and didn't wanna make conversation."

"He really hurt her?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah. She was a mess when they broke up. He's repeating history. He's turning his relationship with my sister into a toxic relationship," Ross said.

"I want him to get it together," Rachel said.

"Me too."

"'Cause you know...I mean, camp was short but I do remember Chandler and Lizzie together. She liked him a lot and he liked her and they were really close. It sucks that he ended up being hurtful," Rachel said.

"I agree."

"So...tell me more about college," Rachel said.

"You tell me some stuff. You know, I think I saw you once in Amsterdam."

"What?"

"When I went to Israel, there was a layover in Amsterdam. I was in the Red Light District, waiting outside a brothel because Chandler was hooking up with a prostitute-"

"Wait, wasn't he still dating Liz-"

"Yes, he was."

"Crap."

"Anyway, I saw a girl wearing a wig being carried….and she looked a lot like you and the guy who was carrying her looked a lot like Barry," Ross said.

"Oh, G-d….yeah, it was probably me. That was a pretty fun night. Why didn't you say something?"

"Would you have talked to me?"

"Probably not."

Both Ross and Rachel laughed as Rachel began telling Ross all about Amsterdam and he listened in amazement. Their relationship was stable now, nice and they were moving on or moving forward. It was all good where they presently were and as the evening continued, Ross wanted to keep it how it was. He wasn't sure he wanted to move to that next level, they were good with friendship.

While his relationship with Rachel was back on track, so was his relationship with Ben. He was absolutely thrilled when he got to go trick or treating with Ben. He dressed up as Robin while Ben dressed up as Batman, taking his son from house to house asking for candy was everything he could hope for. He had forgotten how much he had missed it.

"Dad, look how cool, I got four Reese's," Ben said.

"Very cool," Ross said. "Can I have one?"

"Yeah," Ben said, handing him one. He unwrapped a piece of candy and popped it into his mouth.

"Thank you, I used to know a girl who would never share her Reese's."

"Mommy and Susan say that you have to share."

"It's always nice to share."

"Peter in my class, he says it's weird that I have two mommies. Is it weird?"

"Not at all. Peter is wrong. It's not weird at all. You know Aunt Phoebe?"

"Yeah, she's funny."

"Yeah, she is. She said...and she actually helped name you?"

"Really?"

"Yeah and she said that you are actually the luckiest kid in the whole wide world because you have three whole parents that love you so much and not everyone gets three whole parents."

"Does Aunt Phoebe have three whole parents?"

"No, no...she doesn't."

"Why not?"

"'Cause her parents take a lot of adventures," Ross said, thinking that would be the easiest explanation.

"They're pirates?"

"Yep, that's it."

"Cool," Ben said as they continued to house to house. After trick or treating, Ben even got to spend the night and Ross made him breakfast and took him to school the next day. He met his teacher and Ben wanted to show him some of his work. He felt whole again. He was teaching and being a dad, not really thinking too much about dating.

Getting his son for the holidays was even better. He decided to teach Ben about Hanukkah by dressing up like an armadillo. Joey had dressed up like Superman, Chandler had dressed up like Santa. He wanted to teach Ben about everything and to make things even better, he had a present to present to Ben. After much work and researching and help from Joey, Ross had finished the Batmobile Go Kart for Ben. Watching Ben ride around the apartment in his new little car made him quite happy.

"This is so cool," Ben said as he did another lap around the living room.

"Santa and the Armadillo and Superman worked very hard," Ross said, sitting on the couch.

"Dad…." Ben said, stopping in front of the window.

"What?"

"Was Aunt Monica not good this year?" Ben asked.

"Huh? What?" Ross asked getting up to walk towards the window.

"Why is Santa spanking Aunt Monica?" Ben asked.

He looked straight into Monica and Chandler's apartment and noticed Chandler, still dressed as Santa, with Monica on his lap. He was spanking Monica. Ross cringed and let out a disgusted grunt and immediately closed his blinds. Ben looked up at Ross, confused.

"Let's get away from the window...Aunt Monica and Santa are clearly busy."

"Okay," Ben said as he continued to ride his car around the apartment.

The next morning, Carol and Susan arrived as Ben was eating pancakes. Ben immediately jumped up and ran to get into his little Batmobile and began riding it around the apartment.

"That's pretty cool, actually," Susan said.

"I know, right. Maybe we can leave it here and so when he comes over?" Ross asked.

"We can do that," Carol said.

"I also taught him all about Hanukkah and-"

"And I saw Santa spanking Aunt Monica," Ben said, grinning from ear to ear. Carol and Susan stared at Ross who pointed back at the window.

"I'm buying them curtains for the holidays," Ross said, "we're not gonna tell people that happened."

"Okay," Ben said.

"Thank you for letting me spend the holidays with him," Ross said.

"Of course," Carol said hugging him. Ben was also excited and when they left, his apartment felt a little empty. He loved being able to be a dad and later on that day, he kept true to his word and bought Monica and Chandler some curtains.

"Curtains?" Monica asked as he walked into their apartment.

"Yes because clearly you two don't know how to use a bedroom," Ross said.

"What?"

"Think about last night, Ben in my apartment and you and Santa-"

"Oh my G-d," Monica said, putting her hand over her mouth.

"Happy Holidays. Your present to me was me resisting the urge to projectile vomit all over my son," Ross said.

"I'll help you. I'm sorry."

"I wanted to take out my own eyeballs," Ross said.

"Are you kidding me? You and Rachel? Oh my G-d...you two are disgusting. It was like you two were animals. I want to throw out my furniture," Monica groaned.

"Hardly," Ross said.

"This conversation is grossing me out. Let's move on. These are nice curtains," Monica said.

"Thought so. So...things are good? Wedding planning is going well?" Ross asked, purposely not bringing up what Rachel had told him about Chandler drinking in his office.

"Well...I don't know. He's disappearing a lot and...I wanna believe that he's keeping his word but-"

"You don't think he is?"

"No. I don't think he has anything here but I think he has something or he's somewhere...I mean, last night was fantastic-"

"Ewww."

"No, just...I didn't mean that. I meant, he was the guy I fell I love with. That man is still there and...I don't know."

Ross nodded as he and Monica worked together to hang the curtains and Monica swore him to secrecy. He would not mention anything. He did though keep a closer on Chandler. Was he lying? Was he getting drunk or high somewhere else?