Chapter 52: June 10th – Part II
He hugged her for another moment, letting her cry herself out. Katniss always did that – bottled her emotions up inside until they all came pouring out. He'd only seen her cry a few times in the course of a year of their relationship, so he knew she was due for an emotional release of some sort. Of course he could tell her not to bottle these things up and to let them out and feel, but he knew better. Katniss wasn't like most girls with the emotions on their sleeves, always advertising every minute pitfall and annoyance. She was private and guarded. But once someone got to know her and get around the walls she'd built up around herself, she was more than worth it. Peeta had been behind her emotional walls once, he realized. Now he just needed to get back to that place.
She sniffed and wiped her eyes. Even in the darkness he could see her splotchy cheeks and worn out expression as she pulled away from him. She took a few shaky breaths and gave him a crooked smile.
"I'm sorry," she stated firmly, jamming her hand back into the pockets of her jean shorts. "I didn't mean to-"
"-don't be," he interrupted. "I still love you, Katniss. Even the part that acts like she doesn't deserve to cry every once in a while. I wish you'd believe that."
She let out a cross between a laugh and shaky exhale. "You shouldn't love me. It doesn't make sense for you to love me, not with everything I've put you through."
"Stop," he demanded gently, reaching for her hand. Prying it out of her pocket, he wove his fingers with hers. "Don't say things like that."
She gave him a defeated look. "Fine. I'll stop with it. I'm-"
He was sick of talking and apologizing and rehashing the whole thing over again. He took her other hand and held them both in his, drawing her almost roughly against him. Nothing good came from talking, he figured. He was switching to actions.
He pressed a finger against her lips, silencing her. "Shhh…we've said our sorries, Katniss. That's not what you invited me here to do, is it? Repeat how sorry we are? How we screwed this up?"
His eyes searched hers, which were swimming with uncertainty. She was clearly battling herself on this, he knew it.
"Maybe…maybe we can start over then? And…build back what we had. I mean….I miss you, Peeta, but I can't expect you to just jump back into what we had, not with what I did to you."
"You want to start over?" he asked, gripping her hands. His body was thrumming with anticipation and need, and he was positive hers had to be doing the same. "I want to pick up where we left off. Screw starting over and building up. I…I feel like if I stay away from you one more second I might explode."
"Peeta," she whispered, her voice cracking. Her eyes brows rose in surprise. "What are you –"
He cut her off by firmly grasping her face and drawing it to his in a crushing kiss. His mouth against hers was clumsy at first, his lips stumbling to find the perfect angle. It was like riding a bicycle though – shaky at first, but after a few seconds he found his way and slanted his mouth against hers in a kiss that was so searing and passionate it made her stop resisting. It felt like leaning backwards with no hands on the handlebars and soaring down a hill. It felt exhilarating after all that time. Her hands dropped to her sides as he kissed her, a tiny moan of shock and approval coming from her throat. He kept one hand on her jaw and dropped the other hand to pull her hips flush with his, forcing her body to mold against his. She was through fighting him. He could sense she'd given up trying to argue her way around the two of them.
"Haymitch is passed out in his hammock. Effie already went to bed," he panted between kisses, pushing his tongue past her teeth. She kissed him back harder, another whimper sounding against the night air. Peeta felt her hands on his waist, gripping his t-shirt. The trepidation was still there, but it was mixed with something else – need.
He broke away, gasping for breath. "I need you," he panted, tilting her head up to look at him. Katniss blinked, her grey eyes bright. "We can be good and go slow and do whatever you want Katniss, but just…don't do this to me. I need you," he repeated.
"Peeta…"
"I don't care, I'll be the first to say it."
She gazed up at him. "You're sure? You're absolutely sure?"
He nodded.
Katniss watched him carefully, as if she was trying to tell if he was being serious or not. Peeta felt like a tightly wired coil, ready to spring at any moment. He was almost certain she was feeling the same way but there was a hesitancy there that was holding her back. Keeping his gaze locked with hers, he held his breath as she leaned up and resumed their kiss. Peeta's hands gripped her hips before slowly roving downwards to squeeze her bottom and make her arch against him. Whatever she would give him, he would take. It had been too long.
She surged forward, gripping his jaw and pulling his mouth against hers as he had done to her. It was rough and needy and fevered, the disquiet between them long forgotten. It was replaced with an outpouring of raw lust that sent a jolt through his bones. He could feel her slightly sweaty fingers tracing his jawline and the days' worth of growth that was there. Before he knew what was happening, she was pulling him down into the grass of the soccer field. He was glad he'd thought to check that Haymitch was well on his way to passing out before he came down to meet Katniss – he didn't want any interruptions right now. He thought of the way the old drunk had laughed gleefully while flipping on the lights of the soccer field to reveal a half-naked Cato and Clove the other night. No, that wouldn't be good. They should be safe for now he reasoned, and the thrill of the unknown only made him harder. But did she want this, he wondered? Did this go against her request to start over and be good and take things slow?
He knew he should stop and ask, but her roving hands and throaty moans were the most welcoming things he could think of. Brain power ceased, cutting off most logical thought and decision making as all of the blood in his body seemed to rush to his groin and make him care about little else.
Peeta panted as the rough, freshly cut grass rubbed against his knees. The summer night was hot and he was beginning to sweat from both the heat and from the intense make out session they were currently in the middle of. When her fingers began pulling the fabric of his shirt up over her head he could barely find it in him to protest. Her shirt followed, and before he knew it he was fumbling with the button on her worn cut offs. All he could think about was being naked and having every inch of his skin against her skin. It was a dizzying thought in the late night heat.
More clothes came off, one twisted, yanked off piece and then another. He sighted shakily against her mouth as he crouched between her legs. Taking one moment to let his eyes rake over her body in the pale light, he caught her eye and smiled. Her hands shook slightly as she reached for him, hooking them over his shoulders and pulling him so that he covered her body with his.
He felt exposed so out in the open, but it also made him feel like this was the most exhilarating night of his life. Every nerve ending on his body was hyperaware of everything that was happening. His erection dug into the soft skin of her stomach and her nipples were hard against his. The grass rubbed against his knees as he knelt between her legs and exhaled against her chest before lowering her his mouth to kiss her somewhere other than her mouth. She smelled like Dove soap and sunblock as he breathed her in between kisses. The skin of her chest was slightly damp with sweat but it only reminded him of the way she smelled back in his dorm room during the nights when they did nothing but stay pressed together under the blankets and make each other come as many times as they possibly could. They were memories he'd always cherished, but they were also memories he wanted to add to.
Peeta slid his hand down her side, timing it so that he grazed her sex and lightly tongued one of her nipples at the same time. Katniss gasped out in surprise, a shudder rocking through her body.
"Yes," she said, her voice a choked whisper.
He went further the next time – taking the tip into his mouth and then pushing two fingers on either side of her clit. Her back arched, urging him on.
"Did you miss this?"
She laughed hoarsely. "Did you? Oh…."
He pressed his hardness against her hip, driving it into her skin. She was trying to be cocky and cute, but his ministrations seemed to be keeping her from doing much. Katniss moaned softly beneath him, her voice breaking.
"Does it seem like I did?"
"Uhhh…" she groaned as he found a rhythm against her sensitive bud, using her wetness to aide his touches. Using his lips and teeth on her breasts and just enough friction and attention with his fingers, Katniss was unraveling beneath him in a matter of minutes. She seemed to explode faster than anything he'd ever seen.
He needed to be inside of her. He needed to feel her warm, wet, welcoming walls around him and he needed it soon. It was clear where all of this was heading –they were together again, they still loved each other, and most importantly, they'd missed this – getting lost in one another and finding the bliss in their release.
Peeta reached up, lightly tracing a finger down her cheekbone.
He felt like a cad asking, but he wanted to be safe rather than sorry.
"You still on the pill?"
She nodded. "I never stopped, Peeta. I….I wanted this to happen when I came back to camp."
He stared at her for several moments, trying to read his face. Lifting her head, she kissed him sweetly and offered him an unsure smile. "I really did."
"Me too."
She gave him an expectant look. "Well?"
He kissed her quickly, groaning as he parted his lips and tasted her once more. She'd wanted this to happen. He rejoiced in his head as he rubbed himself against her wetness. Katniss was so ready for him – he'd never seen her so turned on before in all the months they'd been doing this.
"Are you ready? Is this…okay?"
Katniss reached up, clasping his cheeks with her hands. "You always ask. No matter how wet I get or badly I need you, you always ask," she chuckled breathlessly. "Such a gentleman," she said with a crack in her voice. "Yes, Peeta, yes. Please."
He smirked in the darkness before carefully joining himself with her. A ripple of ecstasy stemmed from his cock and radiated up through his bones as he slid into her. She'd never felt this good.
Peeta fought back a strangled groan of approval as she let her legs drop open wider against the grass and welcome him back to the place where he belonged. His breaths were shaky and measured as he carefully thrust against her tight walls.
"It's been so long…"
"So long," he agreed. He lowered himself on top of her again, pressing his body against hers. Reaching behind her head, he slipped a hand beneath her braid and cradled her head. He watched her eyes widen slightly as he thrust against her, so painfully slow and deep it made his insides quiver. The threat of finishing too soon from being both so deprived and turned on that he had to be careful –he wanted this to last.
"Is this what you want?" she whispered, her breath catching slightly.
He thrust again. "Katniss, I want you. I always have."
"Peeta…"
"Is this us being good?" he teased breathlessly. Reaching up, he pushed a sweaty lock of hair away from her cheek. They were both glowing with perspiration in the dim light, but he didn't care. He could only focus on the one part of his body that was finally joined with hers. His other hand dug into the grass beneath his fist, fighting to maintain a steady friction that was enough to give her what she needed.
"What?"
"This. Is this us being good?"
Katniss let her head fall back against the grass and grinned. Her teeth were shockingly white in the moonlight as she smiled up over his shoulder at the night sky. She tried not to laugh as the crickets chirped around them, their calls echoing out across the grass. He watched her fail miserable as another laugh bubbled up from her chest and rang out.
"Uh huh. Wouldn't you hate to see us being bad?"
They laughed together, Peeta dropping his head to her breastbone to muffle the sound. They didn't want the noise of what they were doing to carry across the open soccer field. Once he regained some semblance of composure, he nosed his way down her chest to one of her puckered nipples. The night was hot and clammy, but the buds of her breasts were taught with tension. Peeta took one in his mouth, quickly swirling his tongue around it and letting his teeth lightly scrape her before moving to the next to execute the same action. With a desperate mewl she came again, her walls spasming around his cock in a fluttering mass of muscles and warmth. He slowed his actions, trying to give her some of the friction she needed to ride out her high. Her eyes grew unfocused and hazy as she stared up at the sky, her mouth falling open. He kissed the corner of her lips as she gasped for air.
"Oh my god," she laughed. "I'd forgotten…"
"Me too," he chuckled breathlessly. "Thanks for reminding me."
Katniss grinned coyly up at him. "I'll remind you of something else."
Katniss' legs wrapped around the back of his thighs, her taught muscles easily pulling him closer with each thrust. She stared up at him in the dim light, her eyes silently communicating you turn. Peeta buried himself completely. His body sang with relief, over and over again. They were them again. The past few months had made him feel so utterly alone, so bleak and empty but now, now they were back together and nothing felt like it could ever go wrong again. He grunted as his hands dug into the grass and his hips started thrusting harder and faster on their own accord. She simply felt like home. It was that thought that sent him tumbling over the edge. He spilled into her with jerky movements and rushed breaths, but she didn't seem to mind. He felt her hand touch his cheek as he rose up and drove his hips against hers in the final moments. Turning his face, he kissed her palm between gasps. Opening his eyes, he saw her grey, dilated pupils staring up at him with the starlight reflecting in her eyes. Nothing had ever felt more like bliss.
He was home.
Oh these two!
Probably one more chapter and then an epilogue. Sad to let this one go, but I'm excited for what's to come!
Thanks for sticking around! : )
