50 In Which House has a Family Vacation.
House woke up to the smell of bacon frying and the sounds of children giggling.
"Rachel," squealed Henry, "you're not supposed to wear it; you're supposed to eat it!"
"Oh, Rachel!" said Lisa. House heard in her voice that she was trying not to laugh.
"Miss Lisa, is Rachel going to have "blueberry head" all day?"
"If it won't wash out, she will!"
House decided to make his presence known.
"I won't be seen in public with a child that has purple hair!"
The next thing he knew, House's bed was full of people. Henry was sitting on House's chest and had a sticky hand on each side of his face.
"Mr. Greg, I thought that you would never get up! I ate all the pancakes on the plate. You get Rachel's Cheerios! Miss Lisa is making bacon for me! Are you going to get up now? There's no TV here! Can we show Miss Lisa where we saw the owls and when do we get to look for owl barf?" Finally, Henry stopped for air.
"I'm sticky. There are people in my bed. I am being sat on. All this and no coffee. Woman, where's my coffee?"
Lisa was laughing so hard at House trying to be a good sport that she couldn't respond. She set Rachel down on House's chest just in front of Henry and went to get House his coffee.
"You'll pay for that!"
Rachel started playing with House's rough beard, so House growled and lifted his head enough to blow raspberries onto her belly. The baby squealed with delight! It was then that House saw the blueberry drool headed down Rachel's chin.
"Cuddy!!! Your baby is dripping! Get in here, now!"
The drool landed on House's neck and ran down onto the bedding.
Lisa returned bearing the cup of coffee and a cloth diaper. She dried off House and cleaned up the baby's face.
"Everybody up before Greg cracks, kids" shouted Lisa above the din. She put Rachel on the floor and then helped Henry scoot off of the bed. "I'm proud of you, you were very brave!" she told Greg as she handed him the cup of coffee. "We've all been up an hour, Sleeping Beauty; you need to move it!"
"Not until I've had my coffee and my pain meds," responded Greg. "I need twenty minutes."
Lisa popped the cap to the medicine bottle that she found on the nightstand and dumped two pills into her hand. From there, she transferred them to Greg's mouth. "You have ten."
"Hey, I'm on vacation!" he whined.
"I am, too, and half of these children are yours. Promise you'll be up soon or I'll call the kids back!"
Wiggling his eyebrows, Greg said, "I'm up now!"
Cuddy ignored him and headed back to the kitchen. "Bacon and pancakes will be ready when you are!"
House arrived in the kitchen a few minutes later wearing light blue and white striped pajama bottoms that tied at the waist, a blueberry stained white tee shirt and a very disheveled head of hair. Lisa smiled at him as she served him his breakfast.
"Well, if it isn't my dream date!" she teased.
"Just feel the love," House snarked. He sat and silently ate a few bites of food. "Mmm, good coffee, good food, I could get used to this."
"Don't bother. Lunch is yours!"
"I firmly believe that lunch is an unnecessary meal."
"Then you get dinner!"
"Thanks, I knew that I could count on you to do the right thing!"
"I mean," continued Lisa, "that you get to fix it, if you don't fix lunch."
"Alright, we'll get pizza delivered for lunch! Who do you call?"
"Ghostbusters!" said Lisa with a grin. "Lunch is easy; we'll do sandwiches and chips. You do know how to make a sandwich, right? Or have all of those years of stealing Wilson's lunch on a daily basis taken their toll?"
"Henry, Miss Lisa is picking on me again!" House called pathetically to the boy.
Henry ran up and hugged Lisa tightly. "You be nice to Miss Lisa! She cooks better than you and she's pretty!"
"That's right; you remember that vegetable soup from when we were sick? You loved that!"
"Yuck!" responded Henry with enthusiasm.
"Well, that wasn't one of my better efforts was it?" laughed Lisa. "In case you didn't notice, I did bring meat for you men. I won't make you live with my lifestyle choices all week."
House finished his breakfast and showered. He realized that Henry was dressed and ready to go, as well. Lisa had been busy all morning and he had just eaten and showered. Lisa needed a vacation, too. Not just the usual in a different place. He would need to put some thought to that.
Lisa entered the room carrying what looked to be a baby backpack.
"Greg, I'll need you to help me get this on, after I get Rachel strapped in, okay?"
He watched her place Rachel into the backpack.
"How about I wear the kid and you chase Henry. I don't think that it will add any extra strain to my leg."
Lisa smiled and accepted his offer willingly. She figured that he wouldn't ask if his leg couldn't manage it. She moved Rachel to the table and loosened the straps to accommodate House's broader shoulders. He shrugged the backpack on and cinched the shoulder straps while Lisa adjusted the strap around his waist to House's satisfaction. Lisa grinned as the baby reached around and started playing with his beard.
"That scruffy old thing is one of my favorite features, too, Rachel," Lisa said.
House looked at Lisa very closely. "I never noticed your beard before."
"Your features, not mine."
"That's not what you said!"
"I have a beard!" piped Henry.
"Those are crumbs from the toast you've been eating," growled House as he dusted off Henry's face. "We're going to be here a week. Don't try to eat everything today."
"Okay, Mr. Greg."
"Just Greg"
With mischief in his eyes, Henry smiled up at House and answered "Okay, Just Greg! Should I call her Just Lisa?"
"That would be up to her."
"He is so your boy," groaned Lisa. "You may call me Lisa."
Henry nodded smiling. "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go find some owl barf!" He was out the door in a flash with House right behind. Lisa caught up shortly shouldering a backpack of her own.
They had walked quite awhile before they came to the clearing that House and Henry had visited the night before. Lisa shrugged off her backpack and dug until she found the blanket that she had packed. After she had Henry help her spread it out, she helped House remove the backpack that held a now sleeping Rachel. House pulled out the stand bar and Lisa set the baby down.
House sat down on the blanket and rubbed his tired leg as he stretched out.
"Just Greg, I need you to help me find that owl barf!" called Henry from across the clearing, near where they had seen the owls.
"Henry, I'm resting, you can keep looking yourself or come back and wait for me to get rested up." House looked over at Lisa and found her deep in thought. "Is everything alright over there?"
"I remember the first time that I ever came to this clearing." She said dreamily. "I must have been about Henry's age. The tree was dead back then, too. We wanted Daddy to build us a tree house in the branches, but he said that it was probably too old and would fall apart with kids climbing all over it. Looking at it now, I can see what he meant."
"Yup, sixty years ago is a long time," muttered House. Lisa whacked him on the arm. "Ow, what was that for?" he exclaimed looking the picture of innocence. "I meant the tree!" House gave her his best hurt and abused look.
"Yeah, right! Oh, don't look like that. I didn't hurt you!" Lisa growled at House. She turned and started to get out the makings for lunch. Peanut butter and jelly appeared to be on the menu. Lisa pulled out bottles of tea for her and House and a juice box for Henry. Finally, she pulled out a bag of chips. "Well, get busy! You have a lunch to make."
House stuck his tongue out at Lisa and awkwardly made the sandwiches with his left hand until Lisa called him on it.
"I think you broke the right one when you beat me." He responded. Lisa glared at him and he continued to look wounded. "I think I need some first aid." He puckered his lips as if he were expecting a kiss.
"Didn't I already give you that number for 'Make a Wish'?" Lisa laughed.
"Well, it was worth a try." House said as he joined in the laughter. Just as he finished making the last sandwich, Henry appeared looking downcast.
"There's no owl barf anywhere." He whined. "There's just a bunch of old dry owl poop."
"Maybe you're looking for the wrong thing. We used to find them here when I was your age" said Lisa. "After lunch we'll all go look."
Lisa handed Henry a bottle of hand sanitizer. "Use lots of that, little boy. Who know what you've touched in the course of your explorations."
"Okay, Just Lisa."
During lunch, Rachel woke up and Lisa tended to feeding her and changing her. After they finished eating, House and Henry went to look for the owl pellets. Lisa and Rachel played together on the blanket as they waited.
"I'm glad that we brought the boys," mused Lisa to Rachel. "We're having fun, and I'm a lot more comfortable having Greg around. You are a big responsibility!"
Rachel responded by blowing raspberries at Lisa and then saying, "Ma, ma, ma, ma."
"Yep, I'm your mama!" Lisa swung Rachel up into the air and caught the laughing baby. "We had a rough start, but we're doing just fine now!" She planted a kiss on one of her baby's sweet round cheeks.
"What's a guy gotta do to get one of those kisses" asked House from behind Lisa. She had been so focused on Rachel that she hadn't heard House and Henry's approach. She turned and he stole a kiss before she had time to answer. Lisa responded with enthusiasm until Rachel started pulling on House's whiskers, causing him to jerk away.
"Ouch! Maybe I can wait until you aren't otherwise engaged," said House rubbing his face.
"Your mommy is training you to do that, isn't she?" cooed House to the baby. "Maybe I need to teach you some tricks, too! Like where's Mommy's nose!" House took Rachel's hand and showed her how to squeeze Lisa's nose. Rachel let go of Lisa's nose, but when House said again, "Where's Mommy's nose?" Rachel grabbed it. "Good baby!" laughed House.
Lisa released her nose from the baby's grip and sat on the blanket. "Did you boys have any luck?"
"That wasn't owl poop that I saw, it was owl barf!" shouted Henry. "I was lookin' at the stuff the whole time and just didn't know it. Just Greg says he's never seen so much in one place!"
"You were very lucky Henry. Did you bring any back with you or look at them as you found them?"
"Both!"
"Good, you can look at the books at the cabin and see exactly what you got. I think there is a magnifying glass, too!"
"Cool!" responded both boys. Henry gave Lisa a hug.
Henry sat and entertained the baby, who had been placed in her backpack, while Lisa and Greg got everything packed up. Lisa noticed that Henry looked tired.
"I'll be surprised if Henry makes it all the way back without complaining," whispered Lisa.
"I'm not tired," answered Henry. "I can make it back."
"I'm counting on it, Sport" responded House. "If I get tired, I might need you to carry me."
Henry rolled his eyes at no one in particular and started walking ahead of Greg and Lisa. They hustled along and easily caught up. It was a silent trip back to the cabin. Lisa held House's free hand and Henry held Lisa's other hand. Rachel slept with her head on House's shoulder. House couldn't remember feeling so relaxed and contented. He relished the fact that the week was just beginning. He could get used to this!
As soon as they got back to the cabin, Lisa went to the kitchen to start dinner, after relieving House of Rachel. The baby was left in the backpack to finish her nap. House took Henry and gave him a bath. They laughed about how dirty the water was after Henry had soaped and rinsed. House had Henry dress for bed, since they were in for the night.
While everyone was waiting for the macaroni and cheese to finish baking, they played "Hi Ho Cherrio". What the cabin lacked in television, it made up for in game selection. Henry could hardly keep his eyes opened and didn't even celebrate when he won the game.
"Is that food ready, yet?" Henry asked Lisa. Just then, the timer went off.
"Yes, Henry, it is. You and Greg set the table and pour the milk while I dish it out."
"I'm too tired," whined Henry.
"Then you're too tired to eat. Besides if you don't keep moving, you'll fall asleep before Lisa can get it on the table!" House teased.
"I will not!" snapped Henry.
House lifted the little boy so that they were eye to eye. "Are we still playing or do I need to talk attitude with you?"
"Still playing" Henry wrapped his arms around House's neck and laid his head down.
House deposited him on his chair, before Henry could doze off in his arms.
"Be sure to blow on that before you put it in your mouth; it's still pretty hot!" said Lisa.
Henry managed to eat most of his dinner before sleep overtook him. Lisa carried him to his bed and closed the door. Rachel played with her food some more but was also tired. Lisa bathed her and rocked her and the baby also went to sleep early. Greg and Lisa showered and met up again on the couch.
"I wasn't completely honest with Henry this morning" confessed Lisa.
"Oh?" responded House.
"The TV was reserved for the adults and only came on after the kids were in bed. I didn't discover it until I was an adult." Lisa opened a sliding panel in the wall. "They told us that it was the furnace room and full of snakes in the summer! We all believed them! I came here early one spring and it was freezing. I decided it was worth waking the snakes in order to get warm. It was then that I discovered the TV."
"Lisa is such a brave girl!" House taunted as he grabbed the remote from her and started changing the channels. "It's a good thing that you have me to keep you warm. We wouldn't want the mean old snakes to get you!"
"I'll have blankets to keep me warm tonight. You'll just have the warmth emanating from the TV and the couch to keep you warm!" Lisa acted like she was going to leave and House pulled her back down beside him.
"You win! You are the bravest person I know!" House said with a serious expression. "You putting up with me for a week is the bravest thing I can think of."
