Personal Note


This is very odd, discussing this...

As many of you that read my bio know, I've had a bit of a time of it this year. In short, due to reasons that I cannot fathom, my wife left me and stranded me in Texas without a vehicle and rent for an apartment.

Not going to lie, here. Had my mother not come to take me back to Tennessee, I would have ended up as another statistic – bathtub and a knife, if you're morbidly curious.

That said, I only found out this year that I qualify for medical benefits from the VA. Stupidly, I thought you had to retire from the military to get them. C'est la vie. Sadly, dental isn't covered if it wasn't combat related. Oh well.

So, I've been going to multiple appointments: Physical and Mental Health. I won't lie and say I wasn't scared when I was escorted to the E.R. by Nashville's Finest. While I had been given some medication for severe depression, it was at a state where my emotions were blunted, and I admitted to two other near moments with a knife since being here.

That got me into mandatory therapy. Much suck is involved, but it's been necessary.

Now that I'm on a somewhat stable medicine regimen, things aren't perfect, but they're getting better.

Here's something that you folks might find amusing in all this: My Therapist gave me homework. When I told her how writing has been a good vent for me, as well as how some stories seem to write themselves while I'm in a Zen-like state, but motivation and interest waned this past year:

She basically ordered me to write fanfiction.

The universe is ridiculous.

So, here I am going over the various incomplete stories I have. Went to the stats, and saw that Dolen Amser has the most favourites, reviews and community postings overall. Chaos of the Phoenix came a close second.

In rereading Dolen Amser, comments and PM's I've had concerning when it would be updated again, I've decided to rewrite it in a more coherent state, and go with my original plot. This will irk some, and make others clap. Can't satisfy everyone, and I'm not going to try this time.

Apologies to those that will feel gypped. There's nothing I can do about that, as this is now real therapy for me. Sorry folks, but I'm going to be writing for me this time.

Also, Bits and Bobs will most likely have other ideas popping out here and there when they need to escape my brain.

Speaking of therapy again, there's another author here that writes as therapy. He's another vet, who goes by 'hostial' here. He only has one story posted so far, but it's rather unique. Definitely recommend it. It's 'Saving Her, Saving Himself'. Another time travel story with a sideways twist. Go read... it's good.


Now for a plea to you people: If you know of a person who has withdrawn from the things they like to do, and are showing signs of depression, please talk to them or suggest that they get help.

Depression isn't something that can be fixed with a simple, "Get over it and move on." This is a real problem, and can either be solved by therapy, medication or both.

There will be some people that won't believe that: either people who have had no problems and don't understand it, or those that live in an Egyptian River with things they don't want to admit to themselves.

It's a delicate balancing act, but in my experience, people will believe what they want to believe. I have one here that doesn't believe in therapy or medication, and it has been a giant chore dealing with him.

For those that require medication, there is a chemical imbalance in the brain. This isn't a thing of 'take this and this will solve everything'. It would be lovely if that were true. Sometimes it takes several attempts with different meds to find the right combination. Everyone is different, and what may work for one, won't for another. Which is where the much suck comes in. Once you have one med in your system for a while, and discover that it isn't helping, you have to ween down that before going with another.

Crap... talking about this like this has got me down again. But, honestly, if you know someone who might possibly consider committing suicide... SPEAK UP! Talk to them. If you don't think you can, talk to someone who will. Hell, call 999 or 911 or whatever your emergency number is and tell them.


UK, Northern Ireland,
Republic of Ireland:
Samaritans
116 123
08457 90 90 90 (UK)
1850 60 90 90 (Republic of Ireland)
Hours: 24 hours, 7 days a week
Languages: English
Website: samaritans dot org


United States:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1 (800) 273-8255
Hours: 24 hours, 7 days a week
Languages: English, Spanish
Website: suicidepreventionlifeline dot org