Thank you so much Bamberlee for editing this long chapter!💙
Thank you SO MUCH to everyone whose been reading and reviewing.
Sorry this is a day late! After a week of having a migraine, I was blessed enough to get strep throat 😒
Her gaze is sharply concerned.
"Do you feel feverish? Nauseous? Lightheaded?"
Arlene stares from behind her glasses, inspecting me closely, like if she looked hard enough, she could possibly see the virus crawling around on my skin. She steps closer, and I narrow my eyes at her, because she's wasting time.
"No, I feel fine. But you need to hurry up. He touched everything in here. The doorknob. My desk. The pen. Everly." I say her name forcefully, and Arlene's expression remains unfazed. "Arlene, have it disinfected, now. You said you could help me."
"I am helping you," she answers carefully, and she finally takes a step back. "I just have to make sure you and your wife are alright."
I watch as she retreats, her attention now focused on Everly. Arlene's head tilts to the side, taking in my wife's surprised yet horrified expression as the infirmary staff works around her. Everly's confusion is not unexpected. Panic wasn't something I usually felt, but this was warranted.
Seven years ago, sometime after my own initiation here, we all caught some virus that made it feel like you were swallowing glass. I spent a week gritting my teeth together and downing some pain reliever, trying to just suck it up and not let it slow me down. After a week of not eating, I caved in and admitted I was sick.
The year after that, there was an outbreak of the stomach flu. It started in the mess hall and quickly made its way through the faction like wildfire. Jason threw up in Rylan's office. Rylan threw up in the hallway, which made Linda throw up at her desk. Harrison refused to leave his apartment out of fear of throwing up. I didn't catch that one, but I did spend several days feeling phantom waves of nausea. I refused to come into contact with anyone, and I only emerged when I was certain no one was contagious.
Then, there was a weird strain of something from Erudite. It came in the form of our flu shots. They swore we couldn't get sick from them. The bulletin they sent claimed the shot was a dead virus, one unable to mutate or spread, but before we knew it, everyone was hacking up a lung and sneezing.
I caught that one.
Fortunately, all it took was a single dose of an extra strong antibiotic, and I was good.
But this, this was not good.
I had been around Harrison for days, in close quarters. I'd driven with him to Candor, eaten breakfast with him, and driven back. I'd spent hours with him in a hot room, while he gestured and chewed on the pens.
I was pretty sure he'd touched my shoulder when he walked by. My jacket. My hand.
My desk.
This was it.
I was patient zero.
"Drink this." Molly appears beside me, and she carefully hands me a paper cup. "It's a mixture of-"
She doesn't get to finish.
I swallow it down in one gulp, throwing it back like its happy hour. It's not. The flavor of sticky, fake oranges explodes down my throat, and my stomach immediately wants to reject the drink. It burns unpleasantly, churning over as I force myself not to gag.
"It's um, really strong and gross. I was going to suggest you drink some water with it."
"I'm fine." I bark at her, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, watching Arlene's team work. For the most part, they are efficient. The air is filled with a fine mist as they spray everything several times. Someone wipes down my keyboard, and a few work to clean the door. "I'm not diluting it. I want it to work immediately."
"Okay," Molly answers slowly, looking rightfully concerned. "Um, I'm gonna go give Everly hers."
"You do that. Give her two."
Molly's eyes are large. She ducks out of the way and my stare turns to find Everly. I hadn't forgotten my wife in all this. I knew she was somewhere in this office, potentially hosting Harrison's germs. After glancing around the room, I see her standing before Arlene, looking pale and uneasy. The paleness isn't anything new. Her chances of winning Most Tan Person in Dauntless had dwindled thanks to Evelyn, but the uneasy part comes from Arlene's intense inspection of her. She's inches away, one hand pressed against Everly's forehead, and she asks her something. Everly shakes her head no, and her stare lands on mine.
Her eyes are pleading. Desperate. Wide and green, begging me to call off this infection control, begging me to make Arlene leave her alone. I know what Everly is worried about. She hadn't seen Arlene lately, and there was the threat that Arlene would not only ask her about the baby, but want to be involved. Or she'd grill her over how she was feeling, not at all trying to hide her curiosity over our unborn child and not the flu.
I shake my head no.
I can't help her.
She'd been exposed to Harrison just as much as I had, and she just might be patient two.
"I think we got it all." A nurse stops beside me, and he doesn't look impressed that he's been brought up to clean my office. "You should be good. Just keep the door open and-"
"The pen. He touched that pen. On my desk." I hiss at him, and I have the urge to shove the pen through his head. "Spray it again."
He stares at me, and his nod is slower than slow. "You…you want me to spray your desk again? Specifically, that pen? With our hospital grade disinfectant? This…it comes from Erudite. It's super expensive. We get like, one can per order. Arlene doesn't even let us use it half the time."
I narrow my eyes at him, and somewhere near the doorway, Arlene asks Everly if she's sure she doesn't feel sick. Everly steps out into the hallway, vanishing as a few more nurses walk in, and her protest echoes as she tries to convince Arlene she's fine.
I feel sweaty.
Dizzy and angry and unfairly sweaty.
I glance back at the man in front of me, hoping he's enjoyed living in Dauntless so far.
"Are you confused about your orders?" I step closer to him, and I lean in. "Do I need to repeat them?"
"No Sir."
He jumps away and with one final look in my direction, he resumes annihilating Harrison's flu.
"I saw Everly today."
Rylan looks at me while we walk home, and he's half a step ahead. "She threatened to throw up in my office. My office. We have restrooms here, you know."
I glare at him, but it's halfhearted. I still felt the shaky feeling of unease, like the threat of the virus had attached to my blood cells. It was lingering in my neck, pressing right there in the most uncomfortable way. It wasn't unease like when I knew Everly was about to step outside and potentially get murdered, this was a familiar unease, like I needed to head home and lie down for a while.
"Arlene was all over her. I called her in because Harrison had the flu and I wanted my office disinfected."
"I heard." Rylan isn't impressed, nor is he concerned. "Funny, I don't remember you being afraid of getting sick in your fear landscape. Not what I'd expect from you. I always thought you'd be afraid of things like, having to live next door to Four, or discovering that Arlene was your real mother."
"Hilarious." I mutter, but he keeps going.
"Or Everly leaving you for that dude who looks like you." My glare isn't enough to shut him up, but he stops and spins to look at me. "But anyway, I saw Harrison heading home. He looked pretty bad."
"Yeah." I mumble the answer and for some unknown reason, Rylan decides we're taking the stairs. "He didn't look great this morning. He thought someone was poisoning him."
Rylan laughs loudly.
It echoes in the stairwell, and the ancient metal staircase creaks just as loudly as he leaps up two steps. Every sound seems amplified, and I gingerly head up the stairs after him.
"Well, he smelled like someone had poisoned him. Like weird…flowery perfume and DEATH." Rylan cheerfully keeps going, and I stop and stare at him. It only takes him a second to turn around again, annoyance flashing on his face. "Why are you looking at me like that? I thought it was because he was in Amity. They all smell like that. Like someone slathered them in…margarine."
"Margarine?" I blink, watching Rylan shrug. "Have you ever used margarine? Do you even know what it smells like? Or was margarine on your word of the day calendar?"
"Wow, aren't you in a good mood. Okay, fine. Like flowers. Like he spent days living in a garden. Is that better, Lord of Grammar?"
"Rylan…" I say his name, but I stop, and my fingers tighten on the stair railing. "I think…I think he's Everly's…"
"Everly's what?" Rylan looks down at me, and I realize he's an entire flight ahead of me. "Are you okay? You look… nauseous?"
I can't bring myself to say it. I had been thinking this for a while now, and all the clues were starting to add up in a way that I could no longer ignore. The picture back in Amity, taken at an undisclosed time, of him and Eden. It had to be him. It was him. He was grinning, happy and alive, and she...she looked like Everly. The long hair, the hideous yet oddly appealing dress. The flowers. Even her smile in the photo had made me think of Everly. Actually, Harrison reminded me of Everly, too. They had looked oddly alike when they were pouring over the maps.
I find myself staring at the metal in front of me. Someone had carved the word fearless into it, scraped deeply into the burnt red paint.
Harrison. Maybe he had sat here, pining away over a love that he couldn't have.
Nah, he would have carved something else.
Probably like Fuck Off, Hank.
"You think he's Everly's what? Her Uncle?"
Rylan keeps talking but my brain works quickly, showing me a neat little mental slide show of everything I'd been storing in my brain. Ever since she'd come here, Harrison had looked out for her. He'd personally led the manhunt to find her when he heard the news that she was missing. He had been miserable when we'd trudged back to Dauntless empty handed. After her death was announced, he'd all but vanished from the meetings, and I'd played it off assuming he was off messing around.
But he wasn't.
He'd been mourning the loss over her, no matter who she was.
He'd insisted we keep looking. He hunted Evelyn like she was his prey, fighting some unspoken vendetta that made sense to him. He worked relentlessly, often figuring things out before anyone else could. He'd willingly come to Amity with me, calling her by the wrong name, fucking with me the entire time because he knew we'd find her. He had faith she was there. He'd never stopped looking for her, and he'd promised me he wouldn't. He'd sat with me at Jeremy's trial, reminding me to just listen. He'd gone with me to find out Everly had been shot, only to stick around until he knew she was okay. He'd returned with a clean uniform, my own, not wanting me to be stuck unable to shower.
And the hints.
The fucking hints.
He'd sprinkled them like the petals from the flower crowns for me to find. If I had listened to him, really listened, he had given me all the answers.
He had dated Eden Carlen. Or he was dating her. Or maybe…maybe…maybe he'd been with her before Hank. Maybe he'd loved her, the same way I love Everly. A kind of stupid love that made you do things you'd never dream of. Maybe he'd met her while patrolling Amity, fallen in love with a girl he couldn't have, and tried to make it work.
I try to think logically. I can see Rylan slowly descend back down a few steps, and his dark boots are eye level as I desperately try to remember what Everly told me about her father. I dredge up faint moments of paternal disapproval that could have been easily passed off as any father not wanting his daughter to choose another faction. As far as I knew, she loved Hank fiercely. She had mourned his death like anyone would have expected, but I knew their relationship wasn't all good. She hadn't wanted to stay for the actual celebration, and she'd returned home to Dauntless, not wanting to speak of him.
And while she loved him, I knew there was a stress between them.
After all, she'd left the most peaceful faction for the most violent. She hadn't gotten along with Hank. He'd liked Landon and seemed to think it was fine for Everly to follow Landon's lead for their future life together. He'd never approved her choices and she'd confessed she felt like no one would have noticed if she'd gone missing. Including him.
But Harrison had.
He'd gone to the ends of the Earth to help find her, all while not so subtly hinting to me that he knew her mother.
"Are you going to throw up? Because I'll have to call the janitor. I'm not cleaning up your vomit."
I look up at Rylan again, his hair completely down and a total mess, and his arms are crossed over his chest. "Look, I don't care if you throw up, but I'd prefer not to be here. It's just…the sound, it's gross. I keep thinking of that kid who threw up on Karl."
"I think I'm losing my mind." I tell him, and it takes me a second to stand up straight. "I was going to tell you I think Harrison is Everly's father."
He blinks.
Rylan's expression is of total disbelief. Almost like the time he thought I was befriending Four.
"Are you high? Was it the spray disinfectant? Were you huffing it in an attempt to rid your lungs of the flu spores?"
I shake my head no, but I can't shake away the image of Everly and Harrison sitting in the conference room. He'd looked at her so kindly, even though he must have sensed she was bored. He'd stayed near her, so proud to show her his work, so happy to finally get to train her.
I shake my head again, and this time, it hurts.
"Are you…okay?" Everly stares up at me, just like Rylan, but her stare is of valid concern.
I had been staring at her, trying to figure out if I thought she looked like Harrison.
The idea is ridiculous. She looks like Everly; her hair is so black it reminds me of the darkest part of the night, and her skin is far more youthful and pretty than his. Her eyes are large and green, framed by long eyelashes that blinked up at me when she wanted something.
Harrison's eyes were….I couldn't quite remember. I didn't spend a lot of time staring into them, so I wouldn't know. But maybe I should. I could ask him, though there was a good chance he was currently asleep.
"I'm…fine." I smile at Everly, hoping it comes off convincing. "I'm just really tired. How are you feeling? Are you feeling sick at all?"
I look at her critically, much like Arlene had, and Everly shrugs.
My inspection is quick. Her frame is still slight; she isn't any taller than when she'd shown up here and except for a few faint hints that she was pregnant, she looked the same. I try to remember how tall Harrison is. But I can't. All my mind conjures up is a blank image of him, coughing all over my office and his germs flying everywhere.
"No, I'm not sick. Just sort of tired. But I think Arlene was super disappointed that I feel fine." Everly answers, and she shifts on the bed beside me. She'd been lying on her side, watching me respond to a message from Karl, and she was clearly ready for bed. "She knows…about…"
"Yeah, I told her." I put my phone down, and I look at her. "I wanted to tell her in person. I felt like she deserved it."
"I feel like she's going to try to deliver the baby herself." Everly points out, full of very valid logic this evening. "I don't think I want her in there. She might try to steal our child."
I let out a bark of laughter, mostly because she's not wrong. It was seeming like Arlene had waited her entire life to see this child, and there was a good chance once she saw my son, she wouldn't give him back.
"I'll tell her to reign it in. She can get in line and wait with the rest of the peons who want a glimpse of the baby."
Everly smiles.
She does look tired, but I don't blame her. I'd been planning on celebrating her finishing up the Leadership Program, but I'd gotten home and collapsed on the couch. She'd ordered us dinner, and we celebrated with Quinten's version of Chinese food. Now, her nightgown is bunched up around her thighs, and unfortunately for me, she looks like she could fall asleep any second.
"You sure you don't feel sick?" I stare at her suspiciously, but she shakes her head.
"Okay." I nod, and I reach over to turn off the light on my nightstand. My phone lights up with a message from Karl, confirming that he got my email. I don't answer him. I turn over so I'm facing Everly, and her eyes are already shut.
I smile at the sight of her; even in her almost asleep state, she's inching herself closer to my side of the bed, and her hands reach out for me. Once they touch my chest, I carefully pull her closer, and I ignore the sense of foreboding sympathy that days from now, she'll be suffering from the same illness Harrison has.
My poor, sweet wife has no clue, but I'll help her get through it.
Even if I have to take her to see Arlene.
Rylan's apartment is a disaster.
I stand in his living room, kicking aside what appears to be a year's worth of work he's been avoiding, and I sigh heavily.
"Rylan, hurry the fuck up." I finally yell, growing impatient with waiting in here. I'd woken up to nineteen messages from Max, and they all involved us and the open leadership position. I knew what was coming, and I wasn't signing off on some random member filling the spot. I had immediately messaged both Jason and Rylan, and they agreed to come with me. Tori hung up on me. Harrison didn't answer his phone, but I didn't expect him to.
That left me with little help.
I had an hour before we had to be there, and I needed Rylan awake.
Which was proving to be harder than getting Everly up.
"For the love of all that is holy, we have to leave." I press my palms over my eyes, and I regret coming here. "You said you'd be ready."
"Calm down. I'm almost ready. I just need to find my shoes." Rylan appears, mostly dressed. His uniform is on, though his jacket is unbuttoned, and his t-shirt looks like someone designed it after taking an acid trip. "And my belt. I think Christina said it was out here."
"Hopefully, she's cleaner than you are." I kick a box of…something… in disgust, and to my horror, it moves. "What the fuck is in there? RYLAN."
He stares at the box, and he looks rightfully concerned. "It's not an animal. It's a robot thing I bought at the market. I know you were thinking animal, and honestly, that might have been better. I keep forgetting I have this, and it goes off all the time. Christina thought it was a demon."
"Great." I answer dryly, and he yawns as he walks away in the opposite direction that I need him to go. His hair is an absolute mess, and it hangs down longer than I've ever seen it. "We need to get there before Max. Actually, we need to stop on the way in. We have to find Four before he goes to work."
"Ugh, Four. Who wants more Four in their lives? Who looks at him, with his tiny head and pointy ears and thinks, please let me work with that every day?" Rylan throws his hands up, but his eyes light up. "Hey, my belt. I thought I left it in the other room."
"You know what, why don't you just meet me there?" I tell him and I shake my head. The box moves again, this time, a good two inches. "Maybe it's better if I go alone."
"Oh, now you want to be alone with him." He emphasizes alone, and I emphasize the narrowing of my eyes in extreme annoyance. "Does Everly know about this? Forget hunting Divergents. Your real dark secret is that you're about to go see Four, on purpose."
"I'll meet you in my office." I step over a pile of shoes, and none of them are his. "You know, this is a fire hazard. If your apartment were to catch fire, you'd both die in here. Neither of you would make it out."
"We wouldn't die. We took a fire safety course on how to get out." Rylan retorts from his kitchen, and I see him fumbling through his refrigerator. "Not all of us like living in a museum, Eric."
I don't answer him. I make my way toward the door, and I pause, throwing him one final look. His apartment is nice. It's the same size as mine, and not far from me. It has all kinds of stuff in it. The terrible painting he'd bought at the market of someone's cat in formal wear. A mannequin used for target practice. A stack of notes about Tris Prior and her pregnancy, the only thing that's neatly organized. Video games he probably doesn't play. Liquor bottles that he believed were décor. An oversized couch with six non-matching blankets. A giant picture someone had painted, that appeared to be Rylan, himself, on the moon.
And his word of the day calendar, flipped to today's date.
I squint at it, wondering just how many times I was going to hear him say collywobbles.
"No."
Four doesn't glare at me today.
He's too busy looking incredibly annoyed. More so than me, because I'm also incredibly annoyed. I've been sitting beside him for twenty minutes, only to have him tell me he couldn't pull security footage from anything past two years ago.
"What do you mean, no?"
"I mean…no. What else do you think that word means?" Four looks at me, his expression heavy with disbelief that I was still in here. "We keep a backup of two years. Do you have any idea how much storage that uses? Two years?"
"I don't care." I answer flippantly. "I need security footage from Amity."
"From twenty-one years ago?" He looks at me like I've asked for something impossible.
"Actually, maybe twenty-two? Twenty-three? Thirty? I'm good with whatever." I smile, though we both know it's not a very polite smile. "I thought you were…willing to help me. Didn't you offer yourself up?"
He sighs. I notice his hair has been cut too short, and this pleases me.
"I offered to help you find Evelyn. Not dig up security footage from your wife's faction from thirty years ago. Why do you even need that? What could you possibly be looking for?"
"I'm trying to figure out if a theory I have is right." I answer, and I lean back. "Hey, can you tell me who cut your hair? Was it the new girl?"
He slams his fist down on the keyboard, and the whole computer protests by flashing up a warning screen. "Eric, listen to me…I'm going to give you five seconds to get out of my face. If it's not you…it's Everly. Let me be clear, I don't want the job and I'm not going to help you."
"Tsk, tsk. What do they call that when you go back on your word?" I lean back further, and I prop my boots up on the table in front of me. "Or is it just…being a traitor? Shall I take you downstairs to have Jason interrogate you now?"
"We don't keep the files here. It's too much data." Four answers through gritted teeth, and he waves Kacie over. She doesn't move. She looks at him for a moment, then goes right back to what she was doing. "It would be hours and hours of footage. You'd have to have someone sit and do nothing but watch them for days on end and… fuck." He stops and he shakes his head. "You're going to make me do it, aren't you? That was your plan. You're going to make me do this shitty, made up job so I'll feel like my time is being wasted in here and want to do something else. Eric, I'm onto you. You're not that smart."
"Neither are you." I answer haughtily, because really, that wasn't my plan. It was a good one, though. I'm a little pissed off I didn't think of it.
"Neither of you are that smart."
I look up to Harrison standing behind me, and I nearly fall off the chair. He still looks pale and sweaty, and he's dressed in his pajamas.
"What are you doing?" I ask, and I swing my feet down so I can move away from him. "I thought you were sick."
"I am. You called me twice. I figured you were either sick yourself or you needed something. So I came to find you." He answers, and he does not look happy. "You also called me when you got in here. You," he pauses, and points at Four. "Take the fucking job. You're not helping anyone by working in here. This is entry level shit. Kacie likes it because she can make her own schedule and tell people what to do. But you, you could do anything you want. And you're choosing to waste your days watching people live their lives while you hide out up here and silently judge them. Newsflash, Timothy. No one cares about your morals. They just want a safe faction. Secure gates. An alarm system that works. Things you could easily manage from an actual office and not under the not so watchful eye of blondie."
Four's mouth is open like he wants to say something, but he closes it.
"And you," Harrison looks at me, and he shakes his head. "I told you, I'll tell you whatever you want to know. Next week. Don't go digging up dirt when you don't have to."
I stare at him, wondering if he'd just tell me now.
But judging from the grouchy look on his face, I don't think that's happening.
"And thirty years of security footage, my ass. How old do you think I am?"
"Old." I answer without thinking, and Four shuts his eyes. I can see him torn between laughing and trying not to laugh, and the result is an odd dying sound. "Look, I just need to know…what to tell Everly."
"Nothing." He answers. "Look, you don't listen either, but I'll give you this. I didn't know her until she came here. When the time is right, and if I think it needs to happen, I'll let you know. Until then, don't call me anymore. You're using up all my minutes."
"Okay." I answer, and Four watches him turn around to head out. He looks deathly ill, and my fingers twitch to pull out my phone. I'd already called Arlene once, and it was unlikely she'd want to disinfect an entire control room.
"Tell Everly what?" Four asks, like he hadn't been completely rude two minutes ago.
"We never had this conversation." I stand up, and I reach for my phone.
"So you don't need-"
"Give Max an answer by this week. Otherwise, you'll have some snot nosed kid in here, lording his newfound authority over you. You think I watch what you do? You think Rylan was annoying when he was following you? Just wait until someone else who doesn't know you decides you can't handle watching your mother be brought down."
He starts to say something, a protest or a demand or some whiny statement about how he's past this and how he'd never forgotten that I stooped to having Rylan follow him, but I storm out of the control room. I turn the corner sharply, a little too sharply, and there's a flash of dizziness that hits me.
I choose to head home, rather than work.
I find Everly at home, preparing to go somewhere.
She looks unusually lovely.
I blink as I stand by the counter, tapping away at my phone. I'm asking Karl to head back to Amity, but this time, I want different information. I want him to talk to Johanna about Hank, but casually. Ask about the greenhouse program. Bring Jason along. See if he can get them talking about recycling, anything to get her to bring up Everly's late father.
I finish typing, pausing only when I realize I'm sweating. My jacket feels heavy, the thick material suddenly lead-like. I put the phone down, glancing around the apartment, wondering if we'd gone into conservation mode again. Everly practically skips past me, about to head out, in a dress two inches too short. I stare at her, my vision blurring until there's two Everlys, and the whole thing is wrong. The flower print on her skirt hurts my eyes, and her bare thighs mock me as I pull at the collar of my jacket.
"Everly…is it…is it hot in here?"
She stops in her tracks, and she looks over at me like I'm insane.
I'd turned the heat on once since she'd chosen to come here. It was a while ago. When she'd come back memoryless. I wasn't sure where she'd want to sleep, and it was a shameful attempt to keep her warm at night if I couldn't.
"No, the air is on. I think you set it to fifty-two." She answers suspiciously, and she tilts her head. "Are you okay, Eric?"
"I'm fine." I wipe off my forehead and I decide to ditch the jacket. "I'm just…I need some water."
The ache in my neck blossoms.
It branches up beneath my occipital bone and stretches behind my eyes. It roots itself deeply there, throbbing until I realize my throat hurts. My chest hurts, too, and not in the sad, Four-like way that was his every day existence. In the -can't breathe, lungs are burning, let me cough up this bloody phlegm kind of way.
"Eric?"
Everly says my name sweetly, but also filled with horror. Because right then, I cough, the same way Harrison had -painfully and uncontrollably. Everly's eyes widen, and she takes one tiny step toward me.
"Eric, maybe…I think you might have the flu." Her suggestion is very quiet, and her eyes are glued to me. I can feel myself wilting with every passing second. My skin feels tight and hot, the air is too warm for this to be my apartment, and I sneeze. Multiple times. The feeling of icky sickness crawls over my skin, leaving behind a trail of sheer disbelief that I felt like this.
"No." I shake my head, but the motion is dizzying.
"Maybe you should lie down." Everly suggests, and she approaches me without a single speck of fear. She stops right in front of me, and her hand is immediately on my cheek. The feeling is glorious. She is cold and freezing, and I shut my eyes at the sensation. "Eric, you're burning up. How long have you not felt good?"
"I'm fine." I mumble, but when I open my eyes, I'm leaning into her without knowing it. "I…I…just need…"
"Go lie down. I'm going to call Arlene." Everly doesn't move her hand away, and I don't move, either. I just stare at her, confused about what was going on. "I'll see if she can bring you something."
"Okay."
I give in, not because I want to. I was perfectly fine. I could go run ten miles right now if I tried. I might vomit halfway through it, or maybe pass out if I started coughing again, but I could do it.
But my bed sounds nicer, and since I'd done enough work for the day, I decide to listen to Everly.
She returns to our bedroom ten minutes later, looking very sympathetic.
"Here, Arlene said to drink this. She had a nurse bring it up. They said it'll help you sleep and you'll feel better when you wake up." Everly sits down on the side of the bed, and her stares sweeps over me with a different type of concern. "I'm sorry you don't feel well."
I stare at her, reaching out to take the cup from her.
"It's a really strong dose of something designed to kick the flu. The other one she gave you must not have worked." Everly pauses, watching me drink the clear liquid down. It tastes like berries, and I shudder as I swallow it. She reaches over to take the cup, and smiles. "My mother would have made you something like that. Barberry to boost your immune system. Echinacea to boost your white blood cell count, elderberry syrup to help ward off the virus."
I glare at her.
I know what she's hinting at. Arlene had given me the Erudite version of whatever Everly's mother was making. It hadn't worked, and neither would Eden's.
"This one, too. It's for your head and throat." I take the painkiller and the water, and I down them both. "I could ask my mom to send some of her oils to put on your chest. It might help with your cough."
Everly smiles, completely joking about the last part, and I start to sneer at her. But moving my face hurts, and my head reminds me of this. There's a flash of stabbing pain, along with the burning feeling of trying not to cough.
Still, she looks a little too keen on the idea of slathering some home remedy on me.
"Fuck off, Everly. You're not putting anything of the sort on me."
She ignores me. She sits there, cold fingers trailing over my arm until they reach the mazelike lines. She traces them up and down, and her gaze is to the side of me. I screw my eyes shut, not wanting to see the look on her face. I hadn't meant to snarl at her. Out of anyone in this faction, I'd never found her to be the target of my anger.
"Eric…" Everly starts to say something, but I open my eyes and I shake my head.
"I'm sorry," I interrupt her quickly, and my apology is very quiet. "I don't want you to fuck off. I want you to lie down with me, but I don't want you to get sick."
There it was. The very sad, pathetic truth. I felt like a whiny child, wanting someone to stay with them, when no one would. I don't remember being sick as a kid very often. The only person I ever remember staying with me was Pamela, but more often than not, Blythe ordered her out of the room. She ripped her away on the theory that Pamela would get sick, and then Blythe would be forced to care for me herself.
Still, Pamela always came back. She always stayed as long as she could, and I realize that I'm hoping Everly will stay.
"Do you need anything else?" Everly asks and my stomach tenses up because I know she won't stay.
She shouldn't stay.
I had caught what Harrison had, and she could easily be next. Everly has every reason in the world to want to get out of here.
"It's alright. I know you don't feel good. Arlene said the medicine will kick in soon." She reaches over me, and she gently pushes my hair off my forehead. Her fingers linger there, under the guise of touching me, but they feel nice. My eyes shut as she drags them through my hair, occasionally running them down the sides.
"Everly…"
I say her name again, meaning to apologize. Maybe I can convince her to sit here just for a few more minutes. Even just one more.
"Go to sleep, Eric. I'll be here when you wake up," Everly answers quietly, and I open my eyes to her still there. She's frowning at me, but not because she's angry. She looks concerned as her stare meets mine.
"You will?"
She nods her head. Her fingers work their way through my hair again, gently stroking over and over. Since I'm near death, the sensation is heavenly. I close my eyes, and I sink back against the pillows.
"You'll feel better soon," Everly makes this promise quietly, and I try to believe her. I feel her scoot closer to me, and she touches my temples again. I think back to Pamela sitting beside me during one feverish night, reading me some story about a boy who went to live with monsters on an island, and I wonder if she'd thought that's how I'd turn out. She'd brought the book along with her, for it wasn't one Blythe would ever approve of, and I bet it seemed fitting.
My chest burns with every stroke of Everly's fingers, and I try to stay awake. I should tell her this, I realize. I should tell her about Pamela, how I'd seen her and how I'd told her about Everly. I should tell her that I had wanted to name the baby in some way after Everly's father, but now I wasn't so sure her father was actually her father, and I wasn't naming my kid Harrison.
Turns out, I get to say none of that, because the drugs kick in. There's a slick pull of sleep that hits me out of nowhere, and I don't fight it.
"Okay," I mumble my answer, and my eyes stay closed.
I dream of nothing.
Nothing but cold darkness and lovely deep water, and Everly on her own island.
Jason calls thirty days later.
I open my eyes to Everly sound asleep on my chest, and my head only hurting half as bad. I blink as my phone lights up beside the bed, and I reach for it.
I miss.
Completely.
I swear as it falls to the ground, knocked out of my sight.
"Fuck."
I try to grab it without waking up Everly. I lean halfway off the bed, reaching until my fingers find it. I sit back up awkwardly, trying not to jostle Everly too much. Luckily for me, Everly could sleep through an explosion, so she doesn't move. I wince at the bright light of the screen, and I hit the button to call Jason back. He answers on the second ring, quietly, like he's somewhere important.
"Hey! I just wanted to make sure you were alive. No one had seen you since you…you uh, told Rylan some…interesting theories. Are you feeling better?"
"Oh shit." I rub my eyes, and Everly pushes her face further against my chest. The relief I feel at seeing her is huge; even though she'd promised she'd be here, I didn't expect her to stay. I don't even know how long it's been. There's an odd sensation of not knowing how long I've been asleep, and I try to figure out what time it is. "Yeah, I am. Arlene sent something up. I did tell Rylan some weird stuff. I think it was the fever. I told him..."
"Yeah, Harrison is Everly's father. That's quite the conspiracy theory. I mean, I've been thinking about it, because I'm all alone in the office. The only other person in here was Four, and he left quickly. But you could be right. They have the same color eyes."
I freeze. My hand reaches down to grip a fistful of Everly's hair, and I wait for him to keep going.
"They do?"
"Yep. I saw him on my walk to work. He looks a million times better. He said to tell you to fuck off with your investigation skills. Also, really Eric? You really wanted me to go to Amity to ask about Eden's late husband in hopes they'd reveal he wasn't Everly's father? Did you really think that would work?"
I fall silent. There is nothing but the sound of my pulse in my ears, and Everly mumbling something in her sleep. It sounds a lot like my name, and I feel smug about that.
"I thought you were the smart one of us." Jason continues on, and I blink.
"It…it sounded good. I thought…I thought maybe he'd find something out. Shit, I was delirious."
"Actually, you're not far off." Jason's voice changes to excitement, and I hear him typing away at something. "I did some investigating of my own. Oh and by the way, nice work with Four. He did come in here, cursing your name, but he also slammed down some disk for you to look at. Said you might want to see it. Anyway, did you know that Harrison is only six years older than Everly's mom? He's been patrolling in Amity through the years. He-"
"Yeah, I did. I mean, he told me he volunteered to go there. Something about a long term mission to provide security for them."
"Yes, forever ago. Like when he first took the role of leader here. He also has some other connections to Amity. A brother who lived there. He died a while back, but there's a chance he has some relatives there. Maybe a niece? But I like this next theory better. The way I see it, it's not far off that Harrison and Eden were a thing."
"She was married. I mean, Everly talked about Hank as her father." I mumble, and my brain works to slowly figure this out. It would have been better if I were feeling better, but Arlene's drugs weren't a total miracle cure.
"Actually, Eden didn't get married until Everly was almost two." Jason continues typing. "I don't think Everly would remember this, and there's no proof of it. There's no proof they were even married. But Eden's last name was changed to Carlen when Everly was two years old. So was Everly's."
Jason stops, and I stare at the ceiling trying to figure this all out. "Jason…are you…why would…"
"She would have talked about Hank as her father because that's all she knew. There's also a gap between Everly and her siblings. The next one is four or five years younger than her."
"You know, this is all assumption." I blearily tell him, and I can just see Harrison storming into my office to yell at me. He'd somehow know that I knew all this.
"Well, actually the name thing isn't. Up until she was two, she wasn't Everly Carlen. She was Everly…"
I don't find out who she was, because his phones dies.
Or he hangs up, but he rarely charged his phone so it was more likely it died. I stare at it, and I immediately call him back. It goes right to voicemail, and I toss my phone back onto the dresser.
I was fucked.
The information was going to fuck me over, because I didn't know what to do about it. The more I found out, the harder it would be not to tell Everly. But Harrison had told me not to say a word. By opening up my mouth, I was potentially unravelling her entire life as she knew it. I wasn't sure how appreciative she'd be learning that we'd found out her mother had been having some affair while in Amity. Or was it even an affair? Maybe she'd fallen for Harrison first. Maybe the whole separate factions thing was too much to take, even if he could drop by regularly.
I glance down at her, her fingers curled into my chest and her leg between mine, and I decide I'll keep my mouth shut. It doesn't matter who she was, or if Eden had some passionate romance with the man who had been angry over how his dragon show had ended.
My wife was Everly Coulter, and that was all that mattered.
A day later, I feel absolutely fine.
I put off the mystery of Harrison in Amity, and I focus on how much better I feel. Everly and I return to work, and we only part ways so I can sit in on a meeting with Max. It's short lived: turns out, he's heard the rumors about Everly wanting Four to take the job, and he's decided he likes them. I nod along with what he's saying, only really sitting in here to tell him Everly is starting her new position today, and I slip out before he can think about it too long.
We already had an order of business for her.
She'd be heading to Amity.
Not to ask Johanna about recycling or her own mother about her father, but for her first official trip. There were some security changes we were making, and Johanna was required to know about them.
This normally would have left me in a fit of rage. I could order her to assign someone to go in her place, or I could flat out demand she stay here. But by accepting the job as Ambassador to the factions, she no longer reported to me.
She reported to Max.
So far, I'd come up with a few ways to ease my fears. None of them were overly invasive, and she'd get the same security detail that anyone in the job would. Of course, we had higher precautions due to the security threat of Evelyn. If pressed, I'd simply point out that those accompanying Everly would accompany whoever was going. I wasn't giving her any special treatment, unless you considered I'd signed up Rylan to go with her.
I think of this as I hand her the manual.
Her eyes are fixed on it as I hold it out for her. It's half the size of the leadership one, and the cover is fancy in a way I assume she'll find pretty. The words The Ambassador's Guide to the Factions is inscribed across it, and just one quick look proves it to be far less official than anything else here. Max and I had flipped through it together, and I had to say I hated it. There were pages torn out, pages stuffed in random spots, and dozens of pages with handwritten notes. The contact lists were all outdated, but Linda had promised to type up a new one.
Everly takes it from me carefully, and I can see in her eyes that she loves it. It's a complete disaster, probably of no real use to her, and everything she'd ever want if she wanted to be totally confused about her job.
"You'll start next week. You can skim through this if you want, but there really isn't anyone you'll report to except for Max, and I'm sure he won't be ready. But you might want to be prepared since Max operates differently than I do."
I inform her flatly, watching her turn the book over in her hands. I wasn't utterly thrilled that Max would oversee her, but I suppose it was fair. I couldn't very well be married to her and be her boss.
Or could I…?
I quickly dismiss the thought because someone would eventually notice.
"Who was the ambassador before me?" She asks, and I try not to cringe.
It wasn't that I didn't like this job. It was an important part to play in our relationship with other factions. The leaders of Dauntless weren't always well received. We were often thought to be quick and impulsive, and they often overlooked fearless and replaced it with arrogant.
Everly was none of that.
She would be the perfect representation of us: smart, kind, and dedicated to her life here.
It was that it took her out of Dauntless, away from me, to places where I couldn't control what would happen. I was willingly trusting those accompanying her to keep her alive, and I had proof that it didn't always work out the way it should.
Still, I wouldn't go back on my word.
"No one. Tris was on track for it, but Four talked her out of it," I answer, and I know what's coming. The thought that her friend might have held the same position would be news to her. Tris had an entire life here before Everly. It involved a lot more Four, a lot less making up her own mind, and I'm sure, some regret that she'd chosen another job.
"What? Why?" Everly looks at me, both concerned and somewhat suspicious.
She shouldn't be.
The reasoning wasn't anything crazy.
"She and Four got into an argument, and she decided to back out of the position to work in intelligence. I didn't care to hear all the details. She went to the control room, and we kept the position open. We usually send Harrison if we need to." I answer off handedly. I vaguely remember hearing that she'd declined the position, and I hadn't cared past realizing one of us now had to go.
Luckily, Harrison was usually up for skipping out of Dauntless. He liked getting out of here, and other than Jeanine, the leaders of the other factions seemed to find him enjoyable enough.
"Would you have tried to talk me out of it? If I had said that this was what I wanted to do this whole time?" Everly blinks up at me, and she's right to wonder.
But I wouldn't have. Not then, and not now.
I shake my head no. "I might have made a few decisions on your behalf, but I did that to make sure you were safe. I wanted to make sure you had every opportunity to succeed here. Jeanine did the same for me, but it came with a heavy price. But you…" I pause, meaning every word of what I'm saying. "You deserved it without any strings attached."
Her smile is instantaneous.
"Well, there might have been a few strings attached," I find myself snickering at these words, flashing back to when I watched her fill out the marriage certificate. I knew what it was, but she hadn't. It made it all the better that her name plate was labeled Mrs. Coulter at the table, and she had no clue how true it was.
"You mean like that marriage certificate I signed?" She grins, opening up the book. She flips through it quickly, skimming the sections for each faction, until she stops on the one for Dauntless. She opens it up to my photo, a very nice image of me sneering at whoever had taken it. "I feel like that one came with a few."
I'm only half listening.
My phone has been buzzing for the past minute. The messages are fast and furious, and all from Rylan.
Not only did he never find his boots, but Chad One and Chad Two are back at it. Even with him and Jason down there, they refused to break up their fight. Which would have been fine, but there was an actual fight scheduled, and everyone was getting antsy for the real show to start.
"Stay here. I gotta break up a fight," I tell Everly, and I head out the door without looking back. I leave her standing in my office as I march right to the elevators and push the call button multiple times.
Breaking up this fight would only take a second, but then I had something to take care of.
Something that I had only put off since I had gotten sick.
Kacie.
She looks irritated.
My arrival in the control room is never unexpected. As a leader in Dauntless, I was often down here to utilize our security systems. The surveillance feeds, the video footage of those who thought they weren't being recorded. Attacks caught on tape. The factionless movement. I spent more time down here than I'd like to admit, so it wasn't unusual that I'd be in here.
It was unusual that I'd head right to Kacie and yank her up out of the chair.
"I'm sorry, Sir. I didn't…I didn't mean to come across rude to her. I was just asking her…" Kacie stands before me, her eyes flitting to the side of me like she could escape the small office I'd dragged her into. There is no escape, but that doesn't bother her. Her posture changes; her shoulders pull back and her eyes narrow. "You know what? No, I'm not sorry."
I step closer to her.
Kacie has always been incredibly headstrong. She was chosen to oversee Intelligence because she was a giant bitch. She was also incredibly smart, knew the technology forward and backward, and was quick with training new members. We'd had very few issues with her, only minor things that were out of her control.
But she was also brave, stupidly so, especially as she juts her chin out at me.
"Since no one else will, I'll be the one to say it. It hasn't gone unnoticed that Everly got special treatment here. She didn't have to work any of the hours anyone else did. We usually require new trainees to work overnight surveillance. Weekends. Hours that no one wants, but it's when all the shit happens and you have to learn how to deal with it on no sleep. You might have thought it was cute because you wanted her home at night, but no one else did. In fact, I had to explain why she was working the hours she was."
I stare down at her. I can feel my own shoulders pull back, like I might shove her head first into the wall, but she isn't entirely unjustified with her answer. I had given Everly special treatment. Kacie didn't realize the special treatment had started when I let Everly sleep in my bed, but I wasn't down here to debate small details.
Kacie stares back at my silence and there's a moment of understanding. I dislike it, but I couldn't entirely argue it. "I asked her if she was pregnant. It's a fair question, considering you two are very open with your displays of affection."
I raise an eyebrow at her, because in that moment, she reminds me of Four. I wonder if she'd asked him why he'd deleted certain sections of our recordings.
"It's not one ounce of your business. You're to apologize to her. She outranks you. She was here for a brief time to train, on my orders." I inform her slowly, and Kacie doesn't move. "You'll tell her you're sorry for overstepping your boundaries, and it won't happen again. Understood?"
"Is she pregnant?" Kacie looks at me, and there's something behind her stare. "I know she took a high level position here. If she's pregnant, she'll need additional security, as well as to be monitored any time she steps out of the faction. There are rumors she'll be traveling a lot." She steps daringly closer to me, and I find myself surprised at her words. Stunned might be a better word, for no one ever out maneuvered me.
"Listen, Sir." She emphasizes 'sir', and it's as petty as I would have said it. "Personally, I don't care about your fuck trophy. Your timing is awful, granted we all figured it would happen someday. But now? With Evelyn out there and Everly about to leave Dauntless? My job is to make sure she stays alive. Despite the hours you make her work. Despite the training you gave her."
Kacie steps back and I try to decide how hard it would be to find a replacement for her if I killed her.
"All of that is-"
"None of my business. Except it is." Kacie cuts me off, and she shakes her head. "Everly is a fine member of Dauntless. I've defended her to a few people in here, but I couldn't explain why she got to storm out of here, and never ever worked past eight pm. If I need to up the security on her, then I need to know what's going on. And sure, I was curious." She pauses to shrug. "But who isn't."
My hands unclench from the fists I had them in. I could easily knock her out. Punch her in the face or slam her into the wall for daring to speak to me so flippantly.
Except she's not wrong and she knows it.
"I'll agree I'm out of line. I'm losing one of my most competent people in here, I've got both Karl and Harrison breathing down my neck to make sure they both get the security footage they want. I have your wife in here, not wanting to be in here but doing it so you'll be happy, and I have Max, asking me how he can order On Demand movies. I don't even know how to begin to explain to him that's not possible."
I blink at her, because I feel like I'm doing a lot of reacting and less of what I intended to say to her. "None of that gives you the right to ask Everly those questions."
"I know." Kacie shrugs, and her phone goes off. She glances down to a wall of text someone has sent, and the security lights flicker behind us. "Like, I said. I was out of line. I'll apologize to Everly. I'll…I'll help train her if she ever needs it. I'll send her an email this afternoon. But I need to know where we stand on her security detail. If her routes need to be monitored. If I need additional footage of where she's going ahead of time."
"Fine." I agree, because all of that makes sense. But something bothers me, and I tilt my head at her. "Now tell me, who did you defend her to?"
Kacie smiles, and it's a very knowing, smugly arrogant version of my own smile. "Plenty. Peter was a big one, before he got kicked out. He loved to bitch about her. Jeremy. Four, when things don't go his way."
"Is he the one leaving?" I ask, and there's a moment of power struggle as I realize she doesn't want to tell me. She likes having this intel over me. It takes her a long time to nod her head, and her eyes meet mine reluctantly.
"He's going to take it. He's just trying to figure out how to stay away from you."
I smile back at her, bright and smug as ever.
"Apologize in the next few days. I'll give you the details of where she's going. You're right to want to monitor ahead of the sections she'll be in."
"Yes, Sir."
Kacie moves to step away, and I smirk at her. I might not have gotten to let her have it like I was planning to, but I had learned a few things in my time down here, and that was more valuable than had I beat the living shit out of her.
"And Kacie?"
"Yes?" She looks up from her phone, grimacing as she deals with the latest security fallout, and I smile.
Widely.
"She is pregnant."
She nods, her blonde hair swinging sharply, and that's it.
Her interest in Everly fizzles entirely as she returns to dealing with the control room.
I say goodbye to Everly just like always, with a painful dose of fear that she won't return.
She smiles up at me, doing her best to silently assure me that she would be fine. And I had hopes that she would. I'd eaten breakfast with her, watching her cheerfully talk about her mission to meet with Johanna. I had to admit, she was well prepared. She knew the mission forward and backward.
She was being sent to discuss a few security concerns we had. No one was happy with the increased presence of factionless near Amity, especially me. While we had Harrison visiting on a routine basis, it wasn't enough. The decision had been made to send soldiers to patrol through Amity, including some areas that we'd skipped over.
The presence of our soldiers would be noticeable.
Even the few times I'd walked through the faction, it was hard not to notice the stark difference between those who lived in Amity, and those who were from Dauntless. Our black uniforms were telling, and most in Amity didn't equate the color to peace or protection. They equated it with violence, and in a way, they were right.
Our presence there could easily mean that something big was coming their way, and it wouldn't be pretty. It would potentially send them into a panic, and we were trying to avoid that entirely.
So we were sending Everly. She was very familiar to Johanna, and they had a good relationship. It would be easy for Everly to express what was going on, because she had lived it. In both places. Johanna would have a hard time refusing her when she'd been a part of Evelyn's plans.
I made Everly breakfast, and I sat with her, watching her skim over the notes Max had sent, and I noticed she looked happy. Excited. Alive with the thought of helping in Evelyn's capture any way she could. I was so focused on this I almost missed the email that popped up on my phone. I opened it with great curiosity, and I smirked at the dinner invitation being sent my way.
I wasn't so much smirking now, because I knew Everly would only be here for a few more scant minutes and that was it.
"Be careful." I told her, and my voice was low and unhappy. I grasped hold of her hands, far smaller than mine, and I kissed her cheek before I could call off her entire mission.
"You'll need this. Just like the last time, you'll shoot without question. Fire first, ask questions later. I'll deal with the fallout if you wind up in such a situation." I pause, staring down at her, and I try to remind myself of the positives of this trip. She was well trained. She'd be with Rylan. Kacie would be watching. There were several squads within distance that could arrive within minutes. I would come out of this looking good, because I hadn't made her stay here.
She would only be gone for a few hours.
"You'll stay in the truck until Rylan gets you. He'll be escorting you inside."
She nods. Her hair falls, obscuring some of her face, and I push it out of her eyes so I can really see her. She was still, by far, the only person I would ever let get close to me. These small separations felt painful on a cellular level, almost unfairly sharp. But I had promised her I trusted her, and I wouldn't break my promise.
I exhale sharply, and my stare falls to the side of her.
"I'll be back before you know it. Promise."
Everly's words are sweet, and they stay in my head as she reluctantly lets go of me. She has a lot to prove by going to Amity. Not only is she taking her job as Ambassador seriously, but she's showing Evelyn that she won't hide from her. Any logical person would happily stay here. Hide in their apartment, request a position where they never saw the sun. Observe from afar, perhaps always looking back over their shoulder, squinting a little harder at every shadow. But not Everly. She was determined to live her life without being afraid, and I could appreciate that.
It was what I kept telling myself.
She heads over to Rylan, standing a few feet from us, signing off on the orders for them to leave. He had been more than willing to accompany her to Amity. There was some honor in being selected to make sure she stayed safe, and if I trusted anyone in Dauntless to keep her alive, it would be him. There was a lot to Rylan beneath his joking demeanor, and he was quite the skilled soldier. I knew she'd be safe with him, and if she wasn't, then she wasn't really safe anywhere.
Today, his comedy routine is put on hold. When he looks up at me, his gaze is serious and heavy, and all too knowing. I feel a flash of pride that he's not rolling his eyes or making a joke of this, for more reasons than he lets on. He nods in my direction, and I know there are mere seconds left before they are taking off.
I watch Everly climb into the truck with his help, and he shuts the door for her. Rylan salutes as he walks back around, and the six trucks behind his turn their engines on.
Today, the Amity faction would welcome hundreds of our soldiers. Some would stay for the next few days. Some would stay for weeks. Some would patrol the furthest points of Amity, the dark places that every faction had but no one wanted to acknowledge. They would turn it upside down, with or without Johanna's approval, looking for anyone and anything they could find. They would return triumphant, for we expected nothing less of them this time around.
And I would be here, awaiting Everly's return.
"Should I get her a ring?"
I look up from the memo I'm reading, to find Karl lounging next to me in the break room. I'd been in here enjoying the silence since what felt like half of Dauntless had gone to Amity. I found myself productive without Jason and Rylan here. Even Max was actually working, and the only phone call I'd received was from Arlene, asking if I was feeling better.
I was.
A little bored, a little on edge, but better.
"Charlotte?" I ask, surprised I remembered her name. I knew of his girlfriend, and their accelerated romance, but I couldn't quite picture her right now. "Did you decide to propose?"
"Yeah," Karl grins, and he leans back even further in the chair. He's become quite the addition to the team here, and his progression into Leader had a very natural feel to it. His own office was as orderly as mine, and he had proven to be capable at whatever task he was given. I'd kept him here in Dauntless today, mostly because he was finishing up on the reports of the men he'd interrogated. And it felt like overkill to send every soldier that I actually liked to Amity. "I was thinking this weekend. Jason said there's a market I could go to. I looked in the shops here but I didn't see anything I thought she would like."
I stare at him for a beat before I nod. "There's a man who makes them. His name is Stephan. You can tell him I sent you. He'll probably have what you're looking for." I look up as Linda walks in, and she sits down at the table across from us.
"We're ordering lunch. Would you two like anything?" She is cheery as ever, and she glances around the room once. "Is Rylan here or did he leave?"
"He's in Amity." I answer, and Linda looks surprisingly disappointed. Her affection for him was an odd thing, but it made sense. She'd cleaned up enough of his messes that she probably felt sort of motherly toward him, and he reciprocated the sentiment. "Rylan will return…sometime this evening. I haven't heard much from them."
"Really? Nothing?" Karl looks up from his phone, and his expression is shocked. "I thought they'd be checking in with you every fifteen minutes."
"They should be." I point out. "But the last time I made them check in, it led the factionless right to them. Besides, Rylan probably found some chickens he liked and has forgotten why he's there."
Linda looks concerned. "Shall I call him?"
"Nah, they're fine. But I'll order something. Karl, you hungry?" I wait for his answer, and I find myself pleased when he nods his head. It wasn't that I wanted his company or needed someone to sit in here while I ate lunch. But I was finding he was a good distraction, almost like sitting here with Jason or Rylan. The only other thing I had planned for today was to get a haircut, and perhaps I'd invite him along with me. "Alright, Linda. You pick. What are we having?"
Her whole face lights up.
I've rarely spoken to her, despite her having worked in the office for years.
She rattles off a list of things, and I can't help but feel like today just might be a day of all kinds of firsts for me.
It's not.
By three thirty, Karl bounces back into my office and informs me his men have a lead. And just like I would have, he's decided he's not going to sit in Dauntless and let them have all the fun.
"You want to go? We could just scope it out. No one will even notice we're there." He grins, and I find myself grinning at this plan.
Over some sort of penne pasta and chicken, I'd told him how I felt about Everly going to Amity. He'd listened, and unsurprisingly, he'd agreed with me. Turns out, he wouldn't have wanted Charlotte taking on such a task, either. I didn't confide in many, and I could only hope he kept this to himself. We'd parted ways after getting haircuts, and it had been sort of amusing to watch the stylists stare at the both of us like they were being pranked. We were seated next to each other, and our instructions were almost identical. Once done, I returned to my office and Karl had returned to his. I realized I still hadn't heard from Rylan, but he must have realized I was waiting, because he sent several messages in a row, all assuring me things were fine. Sort of.
Rylan and only Rylan had arrived in Amity.
His hair was getting sweaty and he didn't like having to wait in a barn.
Someone was talking with Johanna.
There were animals.
Rylan was petting a horse.
The horse didn't like him.
The goat didn't like him, either.
A pig stepped on his foot.
Fuck all these animals and did I need any bacon.
I smiled at the last one. He sent another one twenty minutes ago, saying he was still hot and sweaty and hungry and his unnamed companion was more than likely staying for dinner. I cheerfully tell him to hold tight, and I nod at Karl.
"Actually, I have a dinner invitation there. Do you want to come with me? We can check out the lead with your squads and then you can come eat with us. I'm sure Eden won't mind."
"Eden?" Karl looks at me, and his eyes widen. "She invited you to dinner?"
"Well, technically she picked the wrong Coulter to respond to via email. But I've willingly accepted. It would be rude not to."
"I agree. I'm in." Karl agrees and he nods his head enthusiastically. "I have a feeling this will be a fun afternoon."
I smile widely at his optimism, because I have no doubt there will be some fun had.
We arrive in Amity not much later.
The ride over is pleasant. I drive while Karl talks to his men. His expression sinks into disappointment when he learns the lead is a bust. They'd mistaken some of Amity's actual members as factionless, and it had caused a bit of a scuffle. These men had been sent out to look for some livestock that were missing and were found deep within the woods. Karl's men ran into them near a stream and a standoff had ensued when they refused to identify themselves in their own faction. That wasn't looking great for our relationship with the Amity faction, but it was understandable.
"Well, fuck, now what?" Karl hangs the phone up looking pissed off, and he shakes his head. "I told them to wait for me, but I'm not sure there's any point now. I also told them to handle this stuff carefully. I don't want anyone in Amity thinking we're going nuts."
I nod my understanding. I'm reminded of my own hunts through the factions. It had been long ago, and my intent had been incredibly different, but the thought of IDing each member of the faction felt lousy. I'm sure they were annoyed.
"That's why we sent Everly here. To remind them we're on their side. We're looking out for them. They might be upset, but they'll have to deal with it. Have your men patrol the area further. Go a few miles north of where they were, see if there's anything of interest. Maybe ask the members of Amity to accompany you. After that, we'll meet for dinner."
"Alright, I'll text CJ and tell him to wait. Hey, does Eden know you're bringing guests?" Karl laughs when I shrug in mock concern. "Actually, from what I've heard, it doesn't matter. I think they accept anyone and everyone."
"I'm sure." I gesture at the trucks parked ahead of us. They are lined up as far back as the shoddy fence they'd replaced, and the Dauntless soldiers hover nearby. "There's your patrol squad over there. You want to plan on meeting up in an hour?"
"Perfect." Karl agrees, and I park right next to the large armored trucks. The men are milling around awaiting Karl's arrival, and they quickly line up. They greet both of us as we walk by, and I wave him off. I find myself somewhat pleased to have arrived back here. I had missed Everly all day, and now, I'd get to have dinner with her.
A dinner I wouldn't really eat, but still.
"One hour." I call out, and I stride through the large doors. The men mumble their agreement and I make my way through the barn doors. Past the horses and up the rickety stairs. A second later I find Everly talking with Johanna. I head right over to her, and it takes her a minute to realize I'm not in Dauntless. There's a flash of something on her face, probably annoyance that I don't trust her, but I have the perfect reason for showing up.
"You're here?" Everly looks up at me as I stop beside her. I nod at Johanna, not bothering to shake her hand or exchange any faux formalities. I glance around the office quickly, and I wonder if Everly had made any progress. Johanna was notorious for disliking our involvement, and she and I didn't get along very well.
"I am," I answer brightly, and I smile at Everly when Johanna steps away. She throws Everly one very knowing look, and she's gone before Everly can say anything. "I got an email inviting me to dinner. Your mother selected the wrong Coulter to reply to, but who am I to turn down such a request for my company?"
The look on Everly's face is priceless.
"You really want to eat with her?" She asks, eyeing me warily. I shrug my shoulders, and I lean back against Johanna's desk. "I thought you hated the food here."
"I do," I agree, crossing my arms over my chest. "But I'm also here with Karl. He got a lead about an hour ago, and I figured I could lend a hand. We brought a few men in case the need arose."
"Of course you did," Everly answers, but her face lights up as she smiles. "But I'm fine. Everything is fine here. Johanna has agreed to all the security detailing, and I was just going to message you and tell you I would be eating dinner with my mom."
"Great. Sounds like you did a fantastic job on your first assignment." I smile back at her, proud as ever. She has no clue that Johanna has given us issues for years. She didn't love our men and women crushing her flowers as they patrolled here, and she quite often declined to have us nearby. So this was a huge step for the Amity faction, and it was mostly thanks to Everly.
"Thanks," Everly answers, and she still doesn't look convinced that I'm really just here to eat dinner. "Are you sure you're coming with me? To my mom's?"
"I already told her I'm coming. It would be rude of me to not show up," I point out, and Everly looks at me with a very knowing expression. We both knew the email had not been meant for me, and there was a great chance Eden hadn't even read my response.
Still, I had no intention of being rude, and even less intention of standing up the woman who Rylan liked to point out was my mother-in-law.
"I have a few more people coming along with me." I decide to mention this now, and Everly raises her eyebrow at me. "Karl, Jason, Rylan, Karl's next in command. Think your mom will mind?"
Everly looks at me, and her expression changes to something I can't read. For the first time since I've met her, I can't decide if I think she looks entertained or horribly unsure of what's ahead of us.
She shakes her head slowly, and she finally smiles.
"I don't think she'll care. But you guys might."
Everly and I walk to her mother's house together.
We had spent another half hour in Johanna's office. Johanna returned with Rylan, gently reminding him that chickens were friends and not food, and he couldn't take one as punishment for biting his leg. He sulked while she went on to say that they might not enjoy living underground, and he rolled his eyes as though we had an entire farm hidden somewhere on our faction where his new pet could live.
I sent him to fetch Karl and told him to meet up with us.
Now, Everly and I walk along the path, and every so often her fingers touch mine. Above us, the sky is bright and blue and clear, and the air is warm enough that it feels nice. The green trees stretch high into the sky, their branches intertwined to make a canopy of shade. The faction is fairly quiet for this time of day. There's a sense of calmness here, one that's lacking in Dauntless. For a brief second, I can see why Harrison wanted to patrol through here.
Every so often, I catch a glimpse of Everly out of the corner of my eye. She isn't particularly dressed like she's from Dauntless, but not like she's from Amity, either. Her all black outfit is pleasing to my eye, and I like the way her skin looks lit up by the sun. This is a rare moment when the two of us are both outside, letting the sun pour over us, with only minor concerns. I start to tell her I'm happy she chose to take the position here, when her eyes widen. I follow her gaze to the porch of her mother's home, and to the figure leaning against the railing.
"Hey, Squirt!"
The man's greeting is warm. He looks to be about my age, maybe younger, and he eyes us up and down. There is no scrutiny in his stare, only a cheerful welcome.
"Long time no see, kiddo."
I'm immediately suspicious. It's clear he knows Everly, and for a swinging moment, I wonder if he's a friend of Landon's. He's dressed like most of the men in Amity; his pants are dark and his shirt is loose fitting, but he's tall and fit. Muscular enough that he could slip on a Dauntless uniform and fit right in. His hair is shorter, somewhat similar to mine, though the top is a mess.
He steps down from the porch, and his gaze is kind.
"Mom told me you were coming by. I figured I couldn't miss the opportunity to say hi to my baby sister."
Ahhhh.
It makes complete sense now.
This was the brother who had helped Everly come to Dauntless. There's a casual ease in the way he saunters over to us, but an unspoken rebellion to him. There had to be. No one else would have prepped her to leave Amity. Especially when Dauntless was the exact opposite of Amity.
He had willingly helped her so she'd make it.
Still, I find myself staring warily when Everly introduces him.
"Eric, this is my older brother, Forrest."
I smile slightly at her, wondering if he knew what he had set in motion. Did Forrest have any idea that by going against the Amity way of life, he'd pushed Everly right into mine? Was he happy that she'd chosen Dauntless? Did he know the path she'd taken, or the things that had happened to her?
He must.
The way he smiles while she talks tells me he knew she would have been miserable if she had stayed. He might have been the one person in Amity to push her to do something for herself. He smiles even wider when Everly keeps talking, and he looks just as proud as she does.
"He's the one who helped me get into Dauntless."
Forrest and I lock eyes, and in that moment, I realize had he not helped her, I might never have met her as the Everly she was.
I might have found her in Amity, living an entirely different life.
Forrest is only the beginning.
Despite his displeasingly earthy name, he seems pretty normal. He leads us inside Everly's mother's house, and right into the seventh layer of hell.
I stand in the entryway for a moment, and Jason, Rylan, Karl, and Stu are stuck behind me. While I consider myself a very brave man, in that moment, I wonder if it's too late to turn back. We could possibly make it to the trucks before someone noticed we had left, maybe even back to Dauntless.
"Hey, are you going in or what?" Rylan shoves me forward, and his expression changes to sheer delight at the sight before him. "Damn! How many people live here?"
A lot.
The answer was too many for me to actually count. Everly had once quietly confessed her mother had seven children, and it seemed they were all here, along with half the faction. Growing up in Erudite, in a house that was kept pristine around the clock, without a single person home other than myself and Pamela, I have the overwhelming urge to bolt.
There are people everywhere.
To be specific, children.
I watch them appear out of the woodwork, running past me with curious, honest gazes. They all look related; most have the same dark hair that Everly does, but a few are blonde. They are all barefoot or half dressed, their hair hastily combed and braided out of the way. Even the boys have long hair, tangled and in their eyes, hiding their uncertainty over their surprise guests.
"Um, wait…do they all…do they all live here? Where?" Rylan's gaze whirls around the room. For a man born from chaos and continuing to live in chaos, even he is taken aback. While the room is orderly, it seems impossible to house so many children and stay sane. "Is that…is there another level? Or a separate wing? Maybe another house?"
"I'm assuming they all live here. But I don't know." I answer tersely, because I don't. I'd seen the kitchen and the living room, and I was trying to figure out where we would all be sitting. I wasn't entirely sure where they all stayed.
He steps closer to me, his hair nicely brushed today and his uniform freshly washed, and he elbows me. "Are you jealous? Is this what you want? You and Everly could move to Amity and have this. A hundred kids."
I shove him away from me, right into Jason. Jason knocks into Karl who finds my stare.
"Where should we…uh…go? Should we offer to help?"
"The dining room is that way."
We all turn and look in his direction. Beside him, one of Everly's sisters is staring up at him with the same wide eyes as Everly. She looks like Everly, too, if Everly were much younger. Her dress is yellow, and she looks like she wants to say something else. But when Karl turns to look at her, she bolts.
She skips past me, her cheeks burning a bright pink.
"I guess we go that way." Jason suggests, and it seems like I'm the only one stuck in place. But I have good reasons. I want to go over to the bookshelf, perhaps finding the picture I'd seen last time I was here, or maybe find Eden and see if I can ask her a few things. But I don't get the chance to investigate anything. Forrest appears by my side, and he ushers us further into the house.
"We'll be in here. I let Mom know there were more of you than we planned for. Luckily, she always makes a ton of food." Forrest raises his voice, but he has little choice. The volume in here is loud, louder than should be humanly acceptable. "Hey, there's Everly."
"Hi," Everly greets both of us, and she reaches for me. She'd gone in ahead of us, disappearing into the swarm of family members. There's a wave of relief as she pulls me closer to her, and she introduces me to the girl next to her. "This is Willow. She's Forrest's wife."
Everly looks thrilled to see her, and I nod, wondering if it was mandatory that everyone here have an odd name.
"It's nice to meet you," Willow looks over at me, but her stare is spacey. She smiles warmly, then shoves the child in her arms in my direction as though I'd asked her to. I immediately cringe, leaning back as she holds the squirming infant in the air. There's an odd moment of confusion until her gaze clears when she looks at me. "Can you hold him for a minute?"
I have no choice.
A second later, the child is in my arms and Willow has backed away. I can honestly say in my entire life, I've never once held a baby. I'd never even been around any children. Henry was the closest interaction I'd ever had, and I'd found him to be an unpleasant experience. But here, I am trapped, and apparently a suitable daycare provider. I reluctantly hold him away, unwilling to have him near me. It's like holding a wild animal, because he moves, squirming at the awkward position.
I turn to look at Everly, and she's watching me as though she's never seen anything so fascinating in her life. Willows takes her chance at freedom and heads past her, touching my arm as though we are close friends.
"His name is Woody. He needs to eat soon, but I need to wash my hands first and he'll cry and scream if I put him down. It's hard to get him to latch on if he's irritated. I'll be right back."
I have no clue what the fuck she is talking about. But she doesn't wait for me to understand. She heads somewhere else, probably somewhere quiet and alone, and leaves me holding her child. I hold him for exactly three seconds, the weight unfamiliar in my arms, and I want to shove him at Everly. But she's smiling at him, even though he's completely bald and pretty useless. He drools all over his hand, and he smiles a wide gummy smile when she waves her fingers at him. There's an easiness to the way she looks at him, like she's done this before.
"You take him." I go to hand him to Everly, still not sure why Willow thought I wanted to hold him, but the child shrieks that I'm handing him to someone else. It's worse than when Brittany was shrieking over the chasm. Rylan steps next to me, very interested in the situation unfolding, and he cringes. He eyes Woody with great disdain, looking visibly bothered by the noise.
"Why is it so loud?" Rylan asks, and the lucky bastard takes a step away from the noise. "Can you make him stop?"
"You take him." I hiss, but we're interrupted by Eden. She appears in the doorway, looking utterly thrilled and utterly oblivious to the fact that I have no desire to be holding this baby.
"Eric, Everly, come sit down. I've got dinner ready. Just bring Woody to the table with you."
She heads over to Everly and I, and she beams at Woody as though he doesn't resemble a ready to cook turkey. "Isn't he darling? Can you believe Willow had no idea she was pregnant? She thought she had come down with a spectacular case of the stomach flu that wouldn't end."
"We didn't have a clue," Forrest announces. He walks past us carrying multiple plates on his arms, and he looks wholly entertained at this story. "Little guy showed up six months later. Best thing that's ever happened."
Despite wanting to head right the fuck out of here and call my plan an epic failure, there's something in his words that I like. A sense of complete happiness that I haven't experienced myself, and not because he's maxed out on peace serum. Because of his weird little family that he has, and I find myself curious if I could understand. This togetherness, a happy family that wasn't all for show, could be considerably real.
My shoulders drop down the slightest, and I stare at Woody for a second. Maybe he wasn't so bad, either. I might not have asked to hold him, but I could get through this. Plus, the kid seemed to like me, which was saying something.
My arrogance lasts until he starts coughing. He wiggles in my arms, coughing three or four times before he tenses up and projectile vomits all over me. I jump back in pure horror, somehow not dropping him, but completely disgusted. My jacket is covered in regurgitated milk. The smell is awful, and next to me, Rylan starts dry heaving.
"Take him," I bark at Everly, holding him out in case he decides to throw up again. She looks like she's trying not to laugh as she reaches for him, taking him without any hesitation.
"Are you alright?" she asks, holding Woody right against her chest. He smiles at her, toothless and gummy and not at all bothered that he just threw up everywhere. In fact, he goes right back to eating his own hand.
"No," I snap. I narrow my eyes as I look down at my arm in disgust. My pristine jacket, recently made by Christian, is now ruined.
"I was talking to the baby, Eric," Everly informs me, and she's completely unsympathetic. I hold my arm up again, squinting at the vile slime dripping from it, and I have no clue what to do. I highly doubt Eden can launder it the same way Carol does. There's probably no chance it could be saved.
Jason and Rylan crowd around me, both looking appropriately concerned. They lean in, grimacing at the jacket, and Rylan shakes his head. "It looks bad man."
"You'll probably have to burn it," Jason suggests, and the three of us glance up as Eden and Forrest start laughing.
They stop when I look at them, and I suddenly realize coming here was a terrible idea.
Dinner is no better.
I glance at my watch, hoping to discover that it is almost time to leave, but it seems we've only been here for thirty minutes. I lean back in my chair, struggling to breathe as everyone closes in on me, and I wholly regret agreeing to come here with Karl.
"Fuck, how many of you are there?" Rylan doesn't even bother to be quiet. He yells his question over at Everly since he's not near her, then ducks out of the way as someone throws a dinner roll at him. He'd asked someone to pass him one but throwing it at his face seemed to be a much more fun way to pass the food. I catch the blush on the girl's cheeks as she stares at Rylan, and I feel a flash of empathy for Eden. Her daughters seem to have a thing for men in uniform, and its worsened by the fact that Rylan comes off very charming.
If only they knew what his apartment looked like.
"Um, everyone here is a member of my immediate family. Except for Willow, she's Forrest's wife. But she's from here, too," Everly answers just as loudly, and she looks around the table. Willow hasn't returned since the time she forced her child at me, and I can only assume she'd gone off to sleep somewhere.
Though I'm not sure how.
The table is just as chaotic as everyone sitting around it. The noise reaches a new level as the food is passed around, and there is no order. I stare in horror as Everly tries to grab me a few things to eat, easily handling several plates at a time. The gesture is sweet. She picks out what she knows is safe, but I can't be certain I want to attempt any of it. I sit here with my spine straight, Everly so close to me she might as well be sitting in my lap, and I feel raw and exposed. Eden had gently coaxed me to take the jacket off, promising to wash it while we ate dinner. She swore it would be good as new, but I feel off kilter.
Horrified.
Annoyed.
I had thought we'd have the upper hand here. After all, we were invading the home of one tiny woman in Amity. I had assumed we'd take up most of the space and there wouldn't be an ounce of hesitation on our part. We were intimidating. Large men from Dauntless, all in black uniforms, showing up unannounced and not leaving until we chose to. I wasn't expecting to sit here, squished together at a table that seemed to host half the faction, with my uniform jacket drying somewhere I couldn't see it.
I want to leave.
Unfortunately, everyone else seems just fine.
The atmosphere, while rivaling Dauntless on a day when the soldiers lunches overlapped, was happy. There was an odd sense of wholeness here, and that started with our hostess. Eden was delighted to have not only Everly, but myself, Karl, Jason, Rylan, and Karl's next in command Stu over for dinner. She hadn't blinked at the addition of any of us, and had willingly ushered us further into her house. The kitchen table was already long and crowded, but she shoved more chairs around, pushed a few of her children closer together, and seconds ago, told the smallest one to go sit with Everly.
I had to admit I was taken aback.
For one, I assumed the children would eat elsewhere.
I had only eaten with Daniel and Blythe when it was decided I was of age. Before that, I ate with Pamela, and that was it. Most of these kids were old enough to join us, but they were still far younger than the adults. The two boys watched everything Karl did, and the dark haired one looked at me rather suspiciously. Eden wandered in and out of the room several times, always returning with more food. Her eyes lit up when Stu told her he'd been a vegetarian for years, and she was more than happy to grab him a hamburger made out of something other than hamburger. She smiled easily and happily, and she returned minutes later with an entire meal for him.
It seemed nothing fazed her.
"She's the mother of the baby who barfed all over Eric, right? And thank you, darling child. I appreciate your help," Rylan answers, waving the dinner roll at one of the girls. Her pale skin turns red at his attention, and she slinks down in her chair so low that she's nearly under the table. "How many other kids do they have? Nineteen? Are they all coming as well?"
"They just have one. But I didn't even know they had a baby until today."
I listen to Everly talk, and she's also unfazed by the chaos. Her two brothers across from her are whispering furiously, and they stop only when one of the older sisters tells them to knock it off. I hear one laugh, snickering my name along with the word barf. They clearly have a close bond, because they wind up snorting as they try to calm down.
I have no clue what it feels like to have a sibling.
I certainly couldn't imagine having a sister, and Rylan was probably the closest thing I had to a brother. But I could easily send him home and turn my phone off if I wanted a break from him. Here, there was no break. Only a large family, crammed around a dining room table that someone had probably made.
I stare at the plates in front of me, my gaze sweeping over everything slowly.
In Erudite, the table settings were close to works of art. Our plates had been fancy; expensive china on which food was artfully displayed. Daniel never ate anything that wouldn't win a visual award, and we certainly never helped ourselves from large servings bowls that children were pawing at. I stare at the array of sandwiches, the salad, the pasta, the hummus that I'd watched Everly eat a few years ago. It all looks foreign, things I couldn't imagine eating.
But everyone else can.
A few seats down, Karl looks rather enthused. He's made himself a heaping plate of everything, and he digs into his food as though he's been starved for the past week. One of Everly's brothers watches him with rapt fascination, impressed that Karl can eat so much.
"Are you eating, Eric?" Rylan asks, and he reaches for the salad. He takes a forkful, and he winks at me. "This all looks amazing. Much better than the slop we get in Dauntless."
"No." I shake my head, trying to muster up the energy to excuse myself out of the house, or to take a bite of the food. Despite my aversion to Eden's cooking, I felt impossibly rude not eating.
"I'll just sit here," Another one of Everly's sisters slides into the seat beside Karl, having returned after being told to put away whatever she was doing. She looks smug when she glances over at her sister, and the other looks devastated in return. They both wait for Karl to pick one of them to look at, both unaware that he's much older than they are, but he doesn't notice. He happily eats a large forkful of pasta, then reaches for his sandwich without looking up.
"Karl!" Everly suddenly yells out his name, trying to catch his attention. I can only assume she wants to warn him that he should be careful with what he's eating. They often put peace serum in the bread, and unless Eden had made it herself, he was going to wind up higher than a kite.
He doesn't hear her.
Mostly because it's the exact moment when the smallest one of all comes barreling into the room. I squint at him, thinking he looks vaguely familiar, and it hits me that he was with Everly when I found her. It also hits him that I was here before, with the trucks, because his stare focuses right in on me.
"I'm sitting with ERIC." He yells, and everyone in the room quiets down a single decibel. Eden tries to redirect him to Everly, but it's a losing battle. A second later, he shrieks that he will sit with me, and only me.
"No, dear, go sit with Everly. She's missed you."
Eden tries again, but the kid is fast. He slips past her, knocking her hands away and zooming around the table. A second later, he appears between Everly and myself. He wiggles his way into the minute space between us, then launches himself forward. My eyes widen as half the table nearly comes crashing down with him, but he triumphantly lands where he wants.
On my lap.
I look over at Everly, and I have ceased to try and figure this all out. This small child settles himself in place as though this were a common occurrence. He's small and squirmy, and I wonder if he will also throw up on me. I catch Everly's wide eyed stare, and her eyes widen even further when someone passes me a plate. It's presumably for him, because he doesn't leave.
"They said he can have whatever." Rylan helpfully informs me, and he waits for me to take the plate. "Good luck. I believe his name is Zander."
I scowl at him, and Zander looks up at me.
His eyes meet mine with glowing recognition, and there is a silent battle over who is in charge. He narrows his eyes at me, and points to the giant bowl of pasta.
"I want that." He doesn't blink. "But no green. They're gross. Only yellow."
I stare at him. This small, innocent child, ordering me around like I was about to willingly separate an entire bowl of multicolored pasta all for him. He waits for me to act on his command, clearly used to getting his way, but it's not happening.
Not on my watch.
"They're all the same," I point out irritably. And they are. I don't think any of them will taste any different, green or yellow.
Unfortunately for me, the child reacts poorly to my logic.
"NO!" Zander slams his small fist on the table, making it shake. "Yellow! Only yellow noodles! Yellow, yellow, yellow!"
Zander continues to chant his demands, and I drag my stare over to Everly. This was her fault. One hundred percent her fault. I had found her in a nightgown, in the middle of the night, with him. They'd come to examine the Dauntless trucks, and I'd come to take her home.
I'd met Zander for approximately four seconds.
"Zander, you like all those colors. You'll be fine." Everly tries to calm him down. She reaches for his plate, and neatly arranges the pasta all over it. "Here, eat up. And you know what? Eric loves the color green. Green noodles are his favorite."
Zander and I both look at her. My eyes narrow in disbelief that she's using me in an attempt to get this child to eat. It's manipulation at its finest, and an outright lie. Zander is smarter than I thought, because he clearly doesn't believe her either. He tilts his head, and I can feel him tense up in preparation to fight. "Right, Eric? You like green noodles, don't you?"
Everly sets the plate down, still not bothered that this small child is losing his mind over the color of his dinner. Eden is no help at all, but in her defense, she can't get anywhere near him. She's sitting by Willow, and Willow is looking at me, her gaze a million miles away.
"Right, Eric?" Everly says again, this time a little more insistent. She stabs a green noodle with her fork, then holds it up in front of me. The intent is clear. I'm supposed to eat it, so Zander will. I have no desire to eat the noodle any more than Zander does, and I'm confused how this has spiraled out of my control.
"I…" I start to protest, but Everly shoves the fork closer to me, and I can see that I'm not about to win this one.
"Good, right?"
Everly widens her eyes at me, and her silent command to eat the noodles is understood. I give in, only because I see no other option. I take the bite from her, my eyes still on hers, and I eat the pasta. It tastes fine. Normal. Boring. A plain noodle that any child should be able to eat. I swallow it down with more force than necessary, and I glance down at Zander.
He's waiting, just as suspicious as ever.
"You liked it?" He asks, awaiting my approval. I nod, and he reaches for his fork.
"GREEN NOODLES!" Zander yells, enthusiastically stabbing at his plate. I jerk back as the noodles fly everywhere. They land on every surface imaginable, including my lap. Next to me, Everly looks away, trying to stifle her laugh. Rylan deservedly chokes on his drink, and I stay very still. Zander continues to eat with wild abandon, and a noodle flies past my head.
"What the hell is up with the color aversion?" I hiss the words at Everly, still giggling into her hummus and she shakes her head. Sympathetically, as if I'm the poor soul who has never had the opportunity to see Zander in action. I try to move him off my lap and into his own chair, where a child should sit, but it's no use. He's more stubborn than ever. He stabs another forkful of noodles, and twists around. I realize what he's doing a second too late, because he tries to pry my mouth open to feed me a forkful.
I shake my head, scowling at his insistence that I eat his dinner.
"Most kids go through that. They pick a color that they like or don't like and God forbid it ends up in what you're trying to feed them." Everly grins as she plucks a noodle off my shoulder, and I glare at her. I wasn't even sure how we had ended up here. I had assumed that Eden's invitation meant Everly and I would eat dinner. Not the entire Carlen family, including the wild animal still trying to force noodles down my throat.
"We're leaving. Now."
"Hey man, I think this is fantastic," Rylan interrupts. He winks at one of Everly's sisters, I can't tell them apart nor do I know their names, but it doesn't matter. Rylan seems to be amused that she's madly in love with him. "I thought your anniversary dinner was great, but this is even better. Eden, thank you so much for opening up your home to us. This is truly a gift."
I could kill him.
I should kill him.
I should stand up, flinging Zander off my lap and drag Rylan out of here by the collar of his non-ruined jacket.
But I can't. I'm trapped. I sit here, silently hating everyone, when Forrest elbows Everly. He glances around the table, his expression reflecting how I'm feeling. Like he knows this is insane, even for Amity.
"This…is a shit show. Mom has always believed in 'the more, the merrier'. But sometimes, 'the more' is really just complete insanity under the guise of a family dinner." Forrest leans back in his chair, and he looks at me. "Eden can't say no to anyone. You wanna bring forty-seven people over for dinner? Cool, she'll find space on the roof. But Zander hasn't stopped talking about you since you came to pick up Everly, and Mom should have warned you he'd want to sit with you."
I squint at him.
I'm not sure why any child would want to sit with me.
"Why?" I shrug. "I barely saw him."
Forrest takes a long sip of his drink, then nods at me. "You drove here in a truck that night. In the eyes of Zander, you are now his idol. King of the Trucks." He pauses, and he looks at my untouched plate. His eyes light up, and I have a feeling this is about to get even worse. "Hey, you know what? I see no one got you anything to drink. I'll grab you something that'll make this a whole lot more enjoyable."
Before I can protest, he stands up, managing to untangle himself from the mess of chairs, and he vanishes into the kitchen. Everly watches him go, and so do I. I turn back to her, and she's sort of smiling. It's a funny look, full of appreciation for her brother, and perhaps dread that she knows this is out of even her control with its ridiculousness.
"A truck? The kid doesn't like green food but he likes trucks?" I look right at her, and her lips turn up.
"I like noodles!" Zander yells, flinging his head back as he takes a large bite of them. "NOODLES."
"Zander really likes trucks. Especially large trucks," Everly answers, and I wonder if she remembers that night. I'd found her looking every ounce the member of Amity she wasn't; in a nightgown, barefoot, and unafraid of me. Her eyes had been wide and curious, but slowly grew worried when she realized she didn't know who I was. I try to think of how she must have felt, because much like then, her eyes fill with horror.
"Oh no, Eric…"
She doesn't finish. Forrest purposely bumps into her to shut her up, and he grins cheekily. "Sorry, darling, you can't have any because of your 'condition', so I gave Eric yours as well."
"Eric, that's really…" Everly starts to talk, shaking her head no, but I don't listen.
It's beer.
He's brought me a beer, and after the last few minutes, an alcoholic beverage seems more than appropriate. I reach for it, swallowing it down quickly and the burn is immediate.
It's not just a beer, it's something else entirely.
Something…. horrifyingly strong and bitter and yet overly sweet.
"Interesting," I manage to choke out the word, and I blink my eyes shut. I have to try not to shudder or throw it back up, but it's nearly impossible. The feeling finally passes, and I raise my glass at Forrest in appreciation of his gesture. "Thanks."
"Figured someone from Dauntless would give us some real feedback on it." Forrest looks beyond proud, and I realize he's made it. Here. Or at his own house. Somewhere that probably isn't sanitary nor really set up to make beer. I set the glass down, and it's immediately knocked away by Zander. He glares at me, and I glare right back at him.
"It's great," I try to sound supportive, but it's hard when both my stomach and throat are burning.
"I should have a batch by the time your baby is born. Figured I could send you some as a celebratory gift. Maybe name it after you guys." Forrest grins at me, and I ignore the snicker of both Rylan and Jason. I rethink my choice of everything: wife, friends, and current company. Stu might be fine. He hasn't really said much, other than asking one of the kids to pass him a napkin.
"You guys got any names picked out yet? Figured you'd probably go for something daring. Maybe Danger? Midnight? Caliber? Everlina?" Rylan politely interjects himself back into this conversation, not entirely done with his dinner theatre.
I snort at his words, for those names are all ridiculous.
"Far from it. But I do have the name picked out. I think it's rather fitting."
Everyone turns to look at me, and I smirk at all of them. I'm not entirely lying; I have been thinking of a few names, but since I no longer had friends and only enemies, I was naming the baby after myself.
"You picked the name out? Really?" Jason asks. He sounds surprised, and he looks at Everly, like she'll tell him I'm joking.
Everly shrugs, turning to look at me herself.
"What do you mean, you picked the name out? You already named our child?" She looks awfully concerned, and I take great offense that she doesn't trust me. Across the table, her younger brothers pretend to gag, and both look completely repulsed that she's having a baby. "You weren't going to ask me what I thought we should name the baby?"
I knew this would come up.
And what a perfect time.
I had been played by my own wife.
I should have known, way back in Johanna's office, that this dinner would be something else. Everly had known. I got the feeling Amity was routine chaos, and there is a speck of unfairness that Everly was prepared and I wasn't.
So I smile at her.
Slowly. Slyly. Knowingly.
"Everly," I say her name as sweetly as I can pretend to be. "You agreed to it. You told me to go right ahead."
"When?" She looks at me indignantly, and her head tilts. Her hair grazes the table, I hope she gets hummus in it. "When did I say, 'sure Eric, you name our baby'?"
"The other night," I answer, leaning back in my own chair. Zander leans back with me, and he also looks at Everly, ready to defend the name choice on my behalf.
"What night?" Everly presses, and I smirk at her. I'm not sure how she's forgotten, but I have no issue reminding her.
"The other night. When you were on top, you…"
"Oh my God," She blurts out, and her whole face is bright red. I can see that she's flashed back to the moment she agreed to let me name our child, and that was while she was busy groaning my name as she succumbed to her well-earned orgasm. "Eric!"
Forrest bursts out laughing.
He laughs so hard he nearly spills his extra large mug of beer. The two girls at the table look at each other in confusion, and Everly's brother is making a gagging sound. It sounds pretty legit, like he's figured out that his sister is pregnant because she's had sex, and I'm more than hinting at it.
"What were you on top of?" One of the girls with messy hair asks, trying to play it off casually.
"Nothing," Everly hisses, and her face is still as red as the plate in front of her. Her eyes swing to me, filled with wild horror, and she shakes her head. "You know what? You're right. I think we should go…"
Oh no.
If I have to sit here, with her youngest brother demanding I feed him dinner, she could at least help her sister understand what was going on. I turn to her, noticing that she looks a lot like Everly, but is somehow even shorter. "She was on top of…"
"Eric!" Everly shrieks my name in an octave I haven't heard before, and she tries to stand up. She nearly knocks her drink over, and she catches it just in time.
"MORE NOODLES!" Zander joins in on the yelling, officially out of food. He raises his fork in the air, nearly stabbing me in the eye. "Purple noodles, please!"
"Zander, honey, we don't have any purple noodles, but we have hummus." Eden gently offers him this option, and he smartly declines it. But that's not the best part. It's that Eden is smiling at Everly as she scoops up far more hummus than anyone could ever eat, and she passes it toward Zander as though he wasn't the pickiest person in all the factions. "And Paisley, they were in bed together. Adults sometimes discuss such things with each other at night when…"
"Mom!" The other one, who also looks like Everly, is mortified. She cringes at the realization of what her precious sister and I were doing, and she shakes her head. "Stop talking about Eric and Everly like that. No one wants to hear about it. I thought they were doing something else, like maybe standing on top of a building."
"Oh no, we definitely want to hear this. Tell us more about how you got Everly to agree to let you name your baby, Eric."
Everyone turns to look at Jason. He's been sitting a few seats down, watching and observing with an unusual quietness. Until now. Now he's grinning, his smirk so wide that I know neither of us will ever live this down. It grows wider when Zander tires of waiting for his noodles and stabs my leg with his airplane fork.
The pain is surprising. I find myself howling, the word 'fuck' out before I can stop myself, and Jason bursts out laughing. Rylan covers his mouth, also incapable of holding in the oh shit I can assume everyone is thinking. I realize I'm bleeding, and I've officially had enough. I need a normal meal, something to wash down the taste of Amity home brewed beer, and an antibiotic. I stand up with Zander still in my arms, and I turn to Everly.
"That's it. We're leaving," I announce the words at her, and Zander shifts, dangling precariously from my arms. He's heavier than I'd expect, but I'm not focused on that. Only my dignity, slowly withering away with every minute we stayed here. "Everly, let's go."
Zander is thrilled. I remember I'm holding him when he waves his fork again, this time yelling out cheerfully, "To the trucks!"
"Not on your life." I hiss, and I try to get away from him. I'm stuck in between seats that are jammed together, and it takes me a second to step over my own. Forrest attempts to help, but he's laughing, and it worsens when Zander refuses to let go. Sticky hands suddenly wrap around my neck, and tiny fingers cling to my shirt. He grasps it by the collar, shrieking in sheer terror when his uncle tries to dislodge him from my arms.
Willow blinks at me.
She looks confused, but also sort of green. She doesn't look very concerned, but more like she's regretting coming back in here when it was quieter in the other room.
I don't blame her.
Eden also watches, though she looks pretty pleased. In fact, she looks at all of us before her, her table wrecked, Zander's plate of hummus tossed somewhere I can't see, Stu still diligently eating, and Jason, asking if Rylan got a good photo of Zander and I, and she looks content. Like this could happen every night and she'd be fine.
I stand there, close to hyperventilating, and I decide Blythe would have murdered every single person in here.
I don't know if that makes me feel any better, but it makes me feel something.
"You're right. I think we should go." Everly suddenly comes to her senses, and she stands up as Zander's hands find my face. He looks right at me, and his expression is terrifying. He yells NO, and I can feel the hummus on my skin. Or the noodles. Or whatever else he's eaten. Seeping into my pores, drying faster than I can wipe it off.
"NO! LET ZANDER GO!"
He yells the words in my ear as he realizes our time together is winding down, and Forrest finally gets the upper hand. He manages to loosen his grip from my throat, and we both work to untangle him.
It takes a minute, and I decide I'm leaving immediately. If she'd like to, Everly can stay here. Before I can bark at Eden and have her tell me where my jacket is, I realize Karl is sitting there smiling at me. But it's not a normal smile. It's a very relaxed, lazy, druggily euphoric grin. He waves at Eden, his fingers moving slowly, and it dawns on me that he's a lost cause. He ate all the fucking food she gave him and then some.
"Ma'am, is there any way, please, that I could lie down? I am really tired. Like, so, so, soooo tired," he slurs. His head lolls to the side, and his eyes close halfway. Eden smiles in delight at having an overnight guest, and I cringe when Zander finally realizes what's going on.
"I'm going with Eric! Not to bed!"
Zander shrieks his words again as Forrest finally succeeds in yanking him away from me, and I stand there for a moment, wiping my shirt off with my hands. When I look up, I lock eyes with Everly, and she looks rightfully concerned.
For the first time in my entire life, I realize I am in way over my head.
Eden hands me my jacket.
Her hands touch mine as I put it on, and the smell of lavender fills the air. I watch her fidget with the uniform as she works to fix it; her fingers pull at the fabric in some spots, and she smooths others over. She reminds me of Everly as she adjusts the collar, smiling up at me. Her actions are very gentle. I'd seen Blythe fix Daniel's tie exactly once, except she looked like she wanted to strangle him with it.
Eden fixes it again, and I have to admit, there isn't a single trace of vomit anywhere. She waits until she has my attention before she speaks.
"I'm glad you came for dinner."
I narrow my eyes at her. This woman must be high on peace serum.
Her house is trashed.
Zander did not take kindly to realizing that we were leaving. He'd thrown a fit, knocking over not only the chair we'd been sitting in, but half the stuff on the table. Forrest had reprimanded him as nicely as someone in Amity could. He was given several options in an attempt to redirect his anger, and ultimately, the one he chose was stomping around and yelling at people.
Karl was asleep on her couch.
One of his boots was off. His jacket was unbuttoned. His hair was in his eyes.
Rylan and Jason were currently snooping through Eden's bookshelf. Jason was plucking things that caught his interest, trying to subtly wave at me from the living room. Their efforts were appreciated, but I felt marginally guilty knowing they were looking for the photo. I shook my head, and Eden frowned, thinking it was her.
"No, not you. Thank…thank you." I swallow thickly, staring at her for a second. "Thank you for having us all over. I'm sorry that this was…"
"It was absolutely fine." Eden interrupts, and her eyes meet mine. They are green. Harrison's are green. Forrest's are green.
Everyone has green eyes, except for the remaining Carlen children who spent most of their night gazing at Rylan and all his handsomeness.
"I know it wasn't what you're used to. Though I can't imagine Dauntless to be quiet."
"It's not. But Everly and I usually eat at home. I usually make her dinner." I say the words without thinking, and Eden smiles even wider. I can tell she likes this privileged information, as well as knowing her daughter is taken care of. "Are you…do you want help cleaning up? I can have everyone stay."
I look over at Jason and Rylan, their heads bent together as they pour over a leather notebook. Stu has joined them, and he's holding up a book about herbs. None of them would mind staying, not if it meant Eden wouldn't have to clean up. Despite the comedy routine of this evening, they were all thrilled to be a part of it. Rylan had wanted to come here, and they knew it was important to meet Everly's family. It was also important that they figure out this mystery before me.
My eyes narrow as Rylan looks up at me, triumph all over his face.
"No, that's not necessary. Forrest and Willow will help. So will the kids. Except for Zander. He wants to walk you out." Eden looks at me, and I notice she's trying not to laugh. I've long been suspicious she didn't take the peace serum as much as everyone thought, and I change my mind. I don't think she's on any of it. "You know, I think he'll end up choosing Dauntless. I can't see him picking anything else."
"Oh, I'm sure. He'll pass initiation with flying colors." I answer her, and her fingers are still on my wrist. They stay there, until she steps back. "Eden, are you…are things…"
I find myself in the unusual predicament of wanting to ask her a million questions. I want to ask her about Harrison. I want to ask her if she was doing okay, if all these children, all these people in her house drove her nuts. I want to ask her how she did it, by herself, raising them to be decent human beings.
I also want to ask her what I was supposed to do with Karl.
"Everything is fine, Eric. It's all working out the way it's supposed to."
"Harrison was here." I say the words lowly, but Rylan can hear me. His head jerks back in my direction, and he and Jason have very impressed looks on their faces. "He told me he stayed here."
"He did." Eden answers evenly. "He was quite helpful." She only frowns when she pauses, and her head tilts. "He was worried about someone coming here. He said he thought someone might try to harm one of the kids."
"Are they his?"
I blurt this out, right as Everly comes around the corner. She's walking with Forrest, carrying a few plates and glasses, and she misses my question entirely.
But Eden doesn't.
She looks up at me, and her eyes meet mine. This would be the chance for her to kick me out of her house. She knows what I'm asking, and I'm being rude. It wasn't at all my business, but I had enough clues and it would drive me mad until I found out. But Eden shakes her head no, and I know why she's not answering out loud.
Because the children she's referring to are not Harrison's. But that doesn't mean the others aren't.
"I hope you and Everly have a safe drive back to Dauntless. I look forward to your next email." Eden winks at me, and I stand there, frozen in place.
She had read it.
Somewhere, somehow.
The mystery continues.
I watch her step back, moving to take the plates from Everly with a single glance back at me. She smiles again when she and Everly walk to the kitchen. Everly looks better now, not so red, and not like she wanted to disappear into thin air. She throws one very confused look at Jason and Rylan as they slink away from the bookshelf, and Stu takes a cue from them. He shoves the book back in place and joins Karl on the couch.
"You ready to head out?" Rylan shoves something in my hand, a folded-up piece of paper, and I shove it in my pocket.
I nod at him, and it takes everything in me not to ask him what he found.
Forrest walks us out.
Willow walks along with Everly, and the two of them are a few steps ahead. Willow talks softly, her blonde hair hanging down to her waist and her feet bare. She barely spoke during dinner, but she seemed a little more awake now. She'd managed to convince Zander there were better things than me, though he'd stared at me with wide eyes. I had no doubt he would turn up in Dauntless. He was fearless in pursuing what he wanted, and right now, that was to feed some horses.
"Hey, uh, thanks for sticking that out. I know most people would have left the second they realized Z man was sitting with them."
I glance over at Forrest, casually strolling along, chewing on something made of wood. He walks easily, not a care in the world except for the lessening sunlight and a young baby at home. In this lighting, he reminds me of someone I would have been friends with. He was honest and outspoken. There was no bullshit with him, no façade of how lovely and wonderful things were.
He almost didn't belong here.
But I could see why he stayed.
His wife looks back at him over her shoulder, and her eyes find his. She looks only at him, the same soft way Everly looked at me. Despite a house full of people, a mountain of dirty dishes, a child who seemed to spit up on cue, and a tiny dictator with a too sharp fork, she had him. Willow had Forrest the same way Everly had me. I had no doubt they would go home when it was dark. When they were sure Eden was fine, when Zander was under control. They would return to their own home, a small family that was just enough for them.
Though to be honest, I didn't think it would stay small. I predicted there would be more miniature Forrests running around, potentially causing more trouble than Zander.
That was why he stayed.
Because rather than darkness and violence, unending adrenaline and noise, he liked this. A walk on a warm evening with his wife, in a quiet faction that held a peacefulness that didn't exist elsewhere.
It wasn't what I wanted, not entirely. I liked my peace and quiet, but there was a comfort to Dauntless I couldn't explain. A cold, heavy blanket of escapism I found there. Everly completed that feeling, creating the perfect mix between the two worlds.
"Yeah, of course. Thank Eden again for us. I'll uh, next time I'll try something other than the noodles."
Forrest laughs at the memory, and he shakes his head. "I'll make you something else. Skip the hummus by the way. It looks like baby shit and tastes about the same."
His words make me laugh, a real honest laugh that was rare. I have a rush of appreciation for him, especially since he'd helped wake Karl up. We'd watched him sway on his feet, his eyes not entirely focused, until Stu offered to help walk him out. Stu gave him some water, and the two of them ambled ahead of us, ready to lead everyone back to Dauntless.
Forrest had offered to drive him home. The gesture was kinder than necessary, though greatly appreciated.
He stops by the armored trucks, and he inspects them carefully. The engines have been turned on, and they seem larger than life. I can understand Zander's appreciation of them. They could easily mow down anything in their path, and they had.
Multiple times.
"You'll take care of her, right? Like, she won't get left behind while you head off into some battle and die? I know what you do there. I know you guys get sent out all the time. I just don't want her coming back here without you."
Forrest's words are low, meant for me to hear and not Everly. His stare is filled with heavy worry, and it's warranted. Harrison's presence would have been enough to alert him that something was going on, and today's visit is no exception. I look at him, really look at him, and I know he's thinking that his sister could someday return, alone.
I would never let that happen.
Ever.
"I promised I'd never hurt her. And I won't."
He nods at me, and the understanding is unspoken.
Everly falls asleep on the way home.
It's not unexpected at all. After today, I was shocked she'd made it this far.
We left at the same time as all the other trucks, following Stu's lead. Karl was dead asleep in the seat next to him and it was more than likely he'd sleep the peace serum off. I followed behind him, turning out of Amity without so much as a glance back. I knew what I'd find. A family that I was now responsible for. People that I could associate names and faces to, all under my protection from Evelyn. I understood why Harrison had returned here, and I understood why he'd continue to return here.
We pull onto the main road and Everly scoots close enough to rest her head on my shoulder.
"Thank you for joining me." Her voice is so quiet I almost don't hear her. Much like Karl, her eyes are already closed and I can feel her sinking against me. The ride home wasn't incredibly long, but there was no doubt she'd be asleep in the next minute.
I reach for her hand, sliding my fingers between hers.
The truck is warm, and for once, so is she.
"Of course," I answer, and we speed up as we reach the very outskirts of Amity. The faction border has a sign declaring we were leaving Amity, and it feels heavy as we pass it. I think back to the dinner, to everyone probably helping Eden clean up, and Zander.
My leg aches where he stabbed me, and I shake my head. "And by the way… one child. That's all we are having. Ever."
I don't get an answer from her.
Everly is fast asleep, her fingers holding onto mine.
