Author's note: Blaine has now been back at Westerville Abbey for three months.
September 1919
Blaine
"Oh, this is delicious," Pamela says after eating her first bite of poached salmon with cucumber and dill sauce.
Blaine doesn't say anything, but inside he is preening at the compliment. After Cooper came back from a fishing trip along the Avon River with wild salmon earlier in the day, Blaine spent the afternoon creating a sauce that would enhance the salmon's delicate flavors.
Quinn remarks, "Thank goodness the Spanish flu has finally come to an end. With social events and the London Season suspended since the war began, it's been so quiet."
"Nothing is quiet with three young terrors racing around the abbey, and Elizabeth has just started walking," Cooper chortles.
Quinn gives him a pointed look. "It's not the same, and you know it. At some point, we need to get on with our lives, and see other people."
Pamela sets down her wine glass. "The Daily Telegraph reported that the Spanish flu pandemic has come to an end. Perhaps we should host a fox hunt next month, and invite our friends to stay the weekend. What do you think, Michael?"
"That sounds like a marvelous idea. Wesley tells me that the hounds are restless with the scent of foxes around them."
When an apple tart is served, Blaine takes a bite, analyzing its texture and taste. Blaine is pleased with the pastry that he has made under Mrs Sylvester's careful supervision. As the family eat their dessert course, there is talk about the fox hunt and other activities for the weekend. Blaine isn't sure how he feels about fox hunting any more. After serving time during the war, he's lost his zeal for hunting down anything.
Once they have finished the meal, Pamela stands up. "Countess Anderson and Quinn, shall we retire to the parlor and discuss the fox hunt's invitation list?"
Blaine immediately rises to help his grandmama out of her chair. Once the ladies have left, Hummel brings over the wooden box filled with cheroots and a tray with small glasses and port wine.
The Earl takes a sip of his port before speaking. "I think that Quinn is right. The war has been a terrible disruption to our lives. It's time we think about the future."
Cooper lights a cheroot and Blaine coughs when smoke is blown near his face. "The estate's farmers are busy harvesting wheat, and it looks like a bumper crop. Do we know when the food rations will be lifted?"
"Last week, when I was at the House of Lords, there was talk of scrapping the ration cards in the new year. If the Ministry of Food can assure the House of Commons that the shops will have ample food supplies, it might even happen before Christmas."
"Hallelujah!" Cooper exclaims. "I can't wait until Mrs Sylvester cooks delicious food once again."
The Earl shakes his head. "Surely, you can't complain about tonight's meal. I thought it was very tasty. What did you think, Blaine?"
Blaine wants to tell his father that he was the one who made the meal, but he refrains. His father doesn't need to know that he's at loose ends and has plenty of time to spend in the kitchen. "Yes, I enjoyed the salmon very much. Thank you for going fishing, Cooper."
The Earl asks, "Now that you're healthy again, have you given any thought as to what your future might hold? Before the war, there were plans of either the military or the Indian Civil Service."
"There is no way that I'll make the military a lifetime career. I've had enough of war, thank you very much. The Indian Civil Service has lost its appeal as well."
What Blaine doesn't tell his father is that he doesn't want to make any plans until he's heard from Kurt. He's already been home for three months, and there's been no word from Kurt. Not even Hummel has heard from his son. Blaine wrote to Cousin Rachel as well, but there's been no letter from her either. Last month, he even begged his mother to write to Uncle Hiram to find out any news. It's the waiting that is the hardest part. And with the waiting comes the indecision about his future.
"Blaine, did you hear me?" the Earl asks.
Blaine replies, "I'm sorry, Father. I was lost in thought."
"You don't have to join the Indian Civil Service if you don't want to. With the trust fund Rachel has set up for you, there are plenty of other options in the colonies that wouldn't require you to be responsible for maintaining law and order. For example, you could immigrate to New Zealand and establish a sheep farm."
Cooper bursts into fits of laughter. "I'm sorry, but I can't help thinking of that expression about New Zealand - the country where men are men and sheep are nervous."
"Very funny, Cooper. No, I don't feel like immigrating to New Zealand any time soon. I've only just returned home!"
The Earl sets down his glass. "Have you ever felt a calling to dedicate your life to God? Westerville's vicar will be retiring in a couple of years."
Cooper spews out his mouthful of port and laughs, "That's perfect for Blainey. He's never had a sweetheart and lives like a celibate monk."
"Enough, Cooper," the Earl reprimands his eldest son. "When Blaine attended the London Season in 1914, he put family duty first. He's now in the enviable position to be free to love and marry the person he chooses."
Blaine knows that his father wouldn't feel this way if he knew that Kurt was Blaine's one true love and the one he'd chosen. If his parents knew who his heart belonged to, he would be married off and sent to the colonies in record time.
"Son, there's no rush. It's an important decision and not to be taken lightly. If I can help in any way, let me know."
Blaine feels relieved that he's under no pressure to make a hasty choice. Before the war, decisions about his future were largely dictated by convention and his family. It's nice to know that he can take his time to figure out in which direction he wants his career and future to go.
"Thank you, Father. I'll be sure to keep you involved with any decision I make."
The Earl sets down his glass, and stands up. "Now, if we're finished here, let's join the ladies in the drawing room."
Cooper leaps from his chair. "I've got a song prepared. Blaine, do you know how to play After You've Gone on the piano?"
Blaine has heard the popular song many times and assures his brother that he can play the simple melody.
When they enter the parlor, the ladies are still deciding who to invite for the fox hunt weekend.
"How about Viscount Fink-Nottle and his wife?" the Dowager Countess asks.
"I thought you didn't like them," Pamela replies.
"So what? I have plenty of friends I don't like."
Cooper coughs to get their attention. "Ladies, I've got a special treat in store for you tonight. Blaine and I are going to perform a duet."
Blaine rolls his eyes and sits down on the piano bench. Cooper leads the song, and Blaine joins in the chorus...
After you've gone and left me crying
After you've gone, there's no denying
You'll feel blue, you'll feel sad
You'll miss the only pal you've ever had
The words resonate with Blaine. Yes, he's feeling sad, he's feeling blue, and there's no denying that he misses Kurt, the best pal he's ever had.
There'll come a time, now don't forget it
There'll come a time when you regret it
Oh babe, think what you're doing
You know my love for you will drive me to ruin
After you've gone, after you've gone away, away
Immediately after the performance, Blaine makes his excuses and retires to his bedroom. After washing and changing into his nightclothes, he slips into bed. He's grateful that there is a hot-water bottle warming the sheets on the cold autumn night. Tonight, like every other night, he can't focus on anything besides his loneliness.
Kurt, oh, Kurt, where are you? Why haven't you answered my letters? Do you still love me? Have I lost you forever?
And like every other night, his questions are left unanswered.
When Blaine leaves Brufords Jewelers in Exeter, he looks down at his finger, which once again holds a simple silver band, engraved with a Victorian-style scroll pattern. As he walks toward the car, where he's agreed to meet Quinn, he twists the ring around his finger. He hates that the Germans took the original ring away from him when he arrived at the POW camp - it had made him feel unsettled, almost as if he was untethered to Kurt. But now that he's purchased a replacement ring, Blaine feels more connected. It's a physical reminder of his love for Kurt, and of his commitment and faithfulness to their relationship. It feels comforting to wear a promise ring once again.
"Blaine, you walked right past me!"
Blaine turns around and sees Quinn leaning against the car, with a smile on her face. Once they set off to return to Westerville Abbey, Blaine asks, "Did you get everything you needed in Exeter?"
Quinn replies, "The hardest thing about having four children with birthdays over a ten-day period is making sure that the presents are equal… at least in their eyes."
Blaine laughs, "Most of Great Britain must have young ones born nine months after home leave. Can I take Michael and Richard on a pony ride this week?"
"Aren't they a bit young for horse riding?" Quinn asks.
"Wesley and I will just lead the ponies around the training pen. I promise they'll be in safe hands."
"In that case, you can. The boys will enjoy it. Blaine, you're really a fantastic uncle. You manage to keep the three boys entertained all at once but also make time to spend with each one separately. And no one can get Elizabeth to sleep as quickly as you do when you sing her a lullaby. I think you're a baby whisperer."
They remain silent for the next fifteen minutes. Blaine looks out at the beautiful Devonshire countryside, but he can't help but sneak looks at his new promise ring.
"Blaine, I see you're wearing your ring again. Has your sweetheart been waiting for you?"
Blaine's cheeks tinge pink. He ducks his head and replies, "Maybe. I hope so. I don't know."
"Well, whoever she is, she's a very lucky lady."
When the car arrives at Westerville Abbey, Blaine helps Quinn hide the presents in Hudson's old bedroom. If they walk into the abbey with bags from the Exeter Pram and Toy Shop, there would most certainly be a big kerfuffle amongst the children.
Hummel greets them at the main entrance. "Good afternoon, Lady Quinn and Mr Blaine. No parcels I can help you with?"
Quinn whispers, "They're hidden in the garage."
Blaine can't help but interrupt. "Has the afternoon post arrived?"
Hummel glances at Blaine's hand before he replies, "It has arrived, but there are no letters for you… or me. However, the Countess received a letter from her brother in America. She's in the drawing room."
Blaine bounds into the drawing room to find his mother. "What does Uncle Hiram have to say in his letter?"
"Someone is anxious to hear news of Rachel. Now, sit down, and I'll tell you."
Blaine sits down next to his mother, and it takes all his self-control not to rip the letter out of her hands.
"When Rachel and Hudson arrived in New York City, they spent the first month sightseeing and meeting up with old friends. Rachel soon grew restless, and they both joined some sort of musical troupe, that is touring America for one year. Apparently, the show is quite popular, attracting great crowds wherever they perform. Hiram feels that this will give his Rachel the experience she needs before becoming a Broadway star."
"And Kurt? Did Uncle Hiram mention Kurt?"
"When Kurt arrived in New York City, his first stop was Hiram's townhouse. Your uncle made sure that he was settled in a reputable boarding house and gave him information about the garment district. Apparently, he told Kurt to contact him if he needed anything."
"Has Uncle Hiram seen Kurt since?"
The Countess shakes her head. "Once Hiram received my letter, he went around to the boarding house to find news of Kurt. The owner said that he moved out in July and didn't leave a forwarding address."
"How can someone simply disappear into thin air?"
"Oh, Blaine, five million people live in New York City, with thousands of new immigrants arriving each day. Don't worry about Kurt. I'm sure that once he's established, he'll write to his father."
Blaine doesn't want to wait until Kurt is established, for crying out loud. He wants to hear from Kurt now!
"Your grandmama is taking afternoon tea in the rose garden. She's asked if you will join her."
"Yes, of course."
Blaine gives his mother a peck on the cheek before he goes up to his bedroom. He washes his hands and adds a little more pomade to his hair. After checking in the mirror to make sure that he looks presentable, he walks outside to the rose garden, where his grandmama is sitting in the pavilion.
The Dowager Countess examines her grandson closely as he sits down in a nearby chair. "I see that you've had a productive outing to Exeter." When Blaine gives her a puzzled look, she merely adds, "The ring."
Blaine looks down at the ring and blushes. It seems that everyone has noticed that he is wearing a ring again. "I..I… umm…"
"You don't need to explain it to me, young man. I can't recall a moment when Kurt wasn't wearing the ring as well."
"Do you think others know about our matching rings?"
The Dowager Countess shakes her head. "I can't speak for the downstairs staff, but the family hasn't a clue. They think you might have a sweetheart, but they are far too polite to ask."
Spratt arrives with tea, cucumber sandwiches, and a plateful of scones, butter, and strawberry jam. Although Blaine has returned to his former health, Mrs Sylvester still indulges him with treats from the food rations. Once the refreshments have been served, Blaine lowers his head and chews his lower lip.
"Blaine, what's bothering you? Would you prefer something different to eat? I could ask if Mrs Sylvester still has a jar of blackberry jam."
Blaine looks up at his grandmama, remembering that she can read him like a book. "Mama received a letter from Uncle Hiram, and he has no news about Kurt. Apparently, he's moved from the boarding house and didn't leave a forwarding address."
Blaine takes his time spreading the butter and strawberry jam on the scone so that he can collect his thoughts. "I'm really worried about Kurt. What if something really awful happened to him in New York City? It's the only reason I can think of as to why he isn't writing to me or his father."
Blaine takes a sip of tea, and chokes out his deepest fear. "Or what if Kurt is having a fabulous life in New York City and doesn't want me? What if I've lost him for good?"
The Dowager Countess 's blue eyes bore into him. "Blaine, what are you still doing here?"
"What do you mean, Grandmama?"
"What I know is that Kurt is a good man and is very much in love with you. Good men aren't like buses - there won't be another one along in an hour's time. I also know there is a good man right in front of me, who has lost purpose in his life. What I mean is, why haven't you booked your ship passage to New York City yet?"
"But I've just returned home!" Blaine exclaims.
"Home is where the heart is. You might be living at Westerville Abbey, but your heart is in New York City. Believe me, I don't want to see you go, but I just can't stand to see you stay here."
"How could I leave the abbey? It's everything I know. It's where I grew up, and it's the place I longed for when I was at the front and in the POW camp."
"There will always be a special place in your heart for Westerville Abbey. Those memories will stay with you forever."
"I think... I'm scared that if I leave Westerville Abbey, I'll never be able to come back. Things change, and I'm not sure I'm ready to lose all that I know."
The Dowager Countess takes a sip of tea, and Blaine can almost see the cogs turning in her mind.
"When my husband died, your father became the Earl of Westerville. It was only right that he and your mother take over my beloved abbey - my home - and I should move to Dower House. Your mother immediately started to redecorate the bedrooms and make other changes. Meanwhile, I felt very disconnected and was afraid that, somehow, Westerville wouldn't be the same for me."
"So, you do understand how I feel," Blaine replies.
"Your father signed over the title deed to Dower House to me. At the time, he said that I was valued, and for as long as I lived, I would be an integral part of the Westerville estate. Knowing that Dower House couldn't be taken away from me soothed my concerns."
"My father is a wise man."
"He inherited the wise genes from me. You see, I've left you Dower House in my will."
Blaine is shocked. He never expected to own a piece of Westerville.
The Dowager Countess continues, "You might be the second son, with no title or right to the main estate, but you're an integral part of Westerville, too. No matter where you travel, or where you might live your life, there will always be a place for you to return to in Westerville. Think of Dower House as a safe haven where you and Kurt can be… well, just be yourselves."
"I'm absolutely speechless, Grandmama. I love you."
"I love you, too, Blaine."
Blaine knows that his grandmama didn't say these words lightly. She doesn't make rash decisions, and she's not susceptible to emotional outbursts. The moment is lost when Spratt appears to clear the afternoon tea dishes.
"I must say that I was a little confused when I was listening to the plans of the fox hunt and other activities." His grandmama leans in and asks, "Would you mind telling me... What is a weekend?"
One week later…
"Follow me, boys." Blaine leads his two eldest nephews into the kitchen, where Mrs Sylvester has packed them a lunch. When the cook isn't looking, Blaine grabs some apples and sneaks them into his nephews' jacket pockets.
When Mrs Sylvester turns around, she jests, "What the eye doesn't see, the heart won't grieve over."
After Mrs Sylvester has shooed them out of the kitchen, they head towards the back door, almost bumping into Hummel.
"Any letters today?" Blaine asks. His hopes are dashed when Hummel shakes his head.
Once the boys have put on their boots, Blaine gives each one a pail.
"What's this for, Uncle Blaine?" Michael asks.
"Interesting things we'll collect along the way."
"What sort of interesting things?" Richard wonders.
"We'll have to go outside to see."
When they step outside, it's brisk, but the sun soon warms them. The trees are displaying the first flushes of autumn with an array of browns, pinks, oranges, yellows, and olives. The maple trees, which Blaine's mother had imported from New England years ago, are now a brilliant red. Blaine waves at Dave, who is busy reverting the wartime vegetable patch into its former glory as a croquet lawn. Blaine stops them when they near a horse chestnut tree.
"See this spiky capsule? If I open it carefully, you'll find a perfectly-formed horse chestnut. Michael and Richard, do you know what you can do with this?"
"Eat it!" shouts Richard.
"No, you can't eat a horse chestnut, but you can play conkers."
"What's conkers, Uncle Blaine?" Michael asks.
"Oh, it's a good thing I'm here because you're missing out on a whole lot of fun. We'll take some horse chestnuts back to the abbey and leave them in the sun. When we wake up tomorrow, the chestnuts will have turned brown and hard into a conker. We'll thread each one onto a piece of string and then take turns striking each other's conker until one breaks."
"Did you used to play conkers with father?"
"I certainly did," Blaine replies. He's not going to tell his nephews about the time Cooper's conker accidently hit him on the arm, and he ran home crying to their mother.
Once they have gathered a dozen horse chestnuts and placed them in the pails, they continue their walk to the stables. It takes some time as Richard and Michael gather colorful leaves, worms, and snails to be included in their pails as well.
"Good morning Masters Michael and Richard and of course Mr Blaine," Wesley calls out when he sees them. "The horses are ready."
The boys cautiously follow their uncle to the Shetland ponies in the training pen. After feeding them apples, Blaine lifts Richard onto the saddle, and Wesley deals with Michael. Each man takes a lead rope and slowly walks a pony around the pen. After a lap, Wesley asks, "Has anyone heard from Kurt yet?"
Blaine relates the details of his Uncle Hiram's letter. "I guess he's having too much fun to write anyone at Westerville."
"Don't be like that, Mr Blaine. I wonder if Kurt knows you're alive."
Blaine is so stunned that he stops the pony. "Why would you think Kurt doesn't know?"
"Well, when Kurt left Westerville, we all thought you were dead. And your American uncle mentioned that he is no longer staying at the first boarding house, and that he left no forwarding address. So maybe Kurt moved before the letters were delivered."
"Uncle Blaine, can we do another lap?" Michael pleads.
Blaine grasps the horse's lead rope and continues the walk. "Wesley, do you really think that Kurt might not know I'm alive?"
"I don't know, Mr Blaine, but it's strange that Kurt hasn't written to you yet. Kurt doesn't seem like the type of chap that would leave you hanging. He thinks the world of you."
When the pony ride is finished, Michael asks, "Uncle Blaine, when will you teach me to ride a horse by myself?"
"Me, too! Me, too!" Richard shouts.
Blaine chuckles. "On your sixth birthday. Can you tell me how long that will be?"
As the boys use their fingers to count out the years, the Earl approaches the training ring.
"Grandpapa! Come see what Michael and I collected in our pails this morning!"
Richard asks, "Grandpapa, have you heard of conkers? Uncle Blaine said he would teach us how to play conkers tomorrow morning."
The Earl smiles. "Go get your pails. I'd love to see what interesting things you've put in them."
When the boys race to the barn, the Earl asks, "Blaine, are you going on a ride today?" When Blaine nods, he adds, "I'll take the boys back to the abbey."
After saying goodbye to his nephews and instructing them to put the horse chestnuts in the sun, Blaine packs the saddlebag, mounts Firebird, and heads off to the fields. The horse soon breaks into a gallop and Blaine steers him to his special place by the lake. Once they arrive, Blaine quickly dismounts and lays out the old woolen blanket under the old oak tree.
All this while, Blaine has assumed that Kurt has received the letters from both himself and Hummel. He has let his imagination run wild as to why Kurt hasn't replied. His first thoughts were that Kurt's love has diminished after so many years apart and that he is living a fabulous life in New York City. Blaine has tormented himself with images of Kurt with another man. Blaine knows how close Kurt is with his father, so it's very suspicious that Hummel hasn't received a letter since the telegram Kurt sent to let him know he arrived safely. Blaine's thoughts then turned to Kurt being in trouble in New York City. He's had nightmares about the New York gangs capturing and torturing Kurt. It has gotten so bad that Blaine no longer reads thrillers.
Leave it to Wesley to give him a perfectly reasonable explanation. It's not that Kurt doesn't love him anymore, or that Kurt is in trouble - it's because Kurt hasn't received the letters.
Kurt doesn't know that he's alive.
He goes through the timeline in his head, and it all makes sense. What if Kurt has quickly found a job that included room and board? What if Kurt is so busy as a tailor's apprentice, that he hasn't had a chance to write to his father? What if Kurt is saving up to send his father a Christmas package, which will include a long and newsy letter? What if?
Blaine pours himself a mug of tea and eats the cheese and pickle sandwich that Mrs Sylvester has packed for him. Now that he's looked at the situation from a different angle, he feels more connected to Kurt. A sun ray reflects off his promise ring, and Blaine takes it as a sign of what he needs to do.
His grandmama is right. Westerville will always be part of him, and he'll always be part of Westerville. But right now, what he needs to do is go to New York City and find Kurt.
Author's notes
The song that Blaine and Cooper perform is After You've Gone performed by Marion Harris (1919).
Many thanks to my fantastic betas, Fearlessly and Lilyvandersteen. I also thank Dblmalfunction, who performed a detailed final review, although all mistakes are mine. I'm HKVoyage on Tumblr.
Next up: Blaine's last days Westerville Abbey before he sets sail for America.
