Hello everyone, sorry about the late chapter. It was only going to be a week late, but Tuesday the psychologist I intern for had a pretty heady talk with me. It turns out I'm not quite as over my own eating disorder as I had come to believe I was. The shock of that really hit me hard for a few days; however, like Duo, I'm hard at work on getting completely better. Unfortunately, this may impact further updates on the story for a time. I hope it won't, but I may need to switch to updating every three weeks or even only once a month for a time; that is, until I can get my own personal problems better taken care of. I'm sorry for any trouble this may cause, and for making you wait, but I also hope that all of you understand that I need to be able to take care of myself before I can dedicate a lot of time writing further chapters for this story.
Dedication: To y'all that liked Angel
Disclaimer: Really now… Don't own.
Chapter 50: A Week Later (about 4 months til' Duo's b-day)
:Entry 1507 : I haven't been doing too lately. It's gotten really hard all of a sudden. I hate it! I've thrown up three times in under a week, and before that, it had been months. Wufei says it's okay. Dr. Fitzgerald says it's okay. My group says it's okay. It doesn't feel okay. All of them know about it. My innermost feelings are known by 11 people. It hurts. I'm not sure what does, but it does. They're even switching all my pills again, but I guess they're having trouble. I just wanna cry. I hate that though. It's so stupid. I had to ask Wufei to have Quatre come by and keep me company, and I think he'd already called Quatre about coming. I know I'm supposed to be okay alone now, but it's been pretty rough lately. Dr. Fitz says it'll get easier once we get my medication worked out again. But tonight, I have to be good and not worry Wufei, because it's his one year anniversary with Lara. I can't believe it's been so long…
So, I guess it's part two of today's entry. I could number it, but I dunno, it's still today, y'know? Anyway, Quatre is spending the night because we wanted to let Wufei stay out as late as he wanted to. I woke up at four am, kind of hungry, so I wandered towards the living room. I saw Quatre sprawled on the couch so daintily, and Wufei's door was open; his room was empty I snuck back into my room before I woke Quatre up; he's a really light sleeper. Wufei ought to be in a really good mood now. I guess I do know why it's so hard now. Tomorrow, I'm going to see Him at Quatre's. I guess that's also why I can hardly sleep. I just hate it.
Wufei had taken Lara to an Italian restaurant she loved that had more candlelight than electric lighting; they shared a rich dessert of tiramisu before walking to the flower shop. There, he had given her a glittering necklace set in platinum. She had given him another orchid and an old jián, a straight, double-edged Chinese sword used by a general many years before the colonies were first established. Both of them were delighted, and Wufei knew he was going to ask her to marry him eventually. That time would probably be much closer to their second anniversary, but somehow, he knew that second anniversary would happen too.
He told her that he loved her, and she told him that she loved him. They wandered up to her apartment above the shop and Lara made tea for them. As they sat on the couch, watching late night television, drinking their tea, they talked. And then they kissed. Wufei was suddenly very glad Quatre had offered to stay over so that Wufei would not feel obligated to have a curfew of any sorts. The next morning, he made Lara a traditional Chinese breakfast by request, chatting about nothing with her sitting at the counter in a long T-shirt drinking green tea, he was very glad indeed.
As soon as he had walked in the door, Duo stared at him and grinned. "You so did it."
"Uh huh." Wufei replied before sliding into a chair in the living room with one of his thick books and put his glasses on. That meant he was not going to tell Duo anything. Wufei smiled behind his book. Angel made a long, trilling noise somewhere between a chirp and a meow as she jumped onto his lap, a tiny little bundle of silvery fur that purred enough for four cats twice her size.
An hour or two later, Wufei collected Duo, which was a process in itself. First, Duo's shoes were missing, then it was his favourite sock that he had to have, and a jacket that had meandered into the bookcase. The Chinese was rather relieved when he started the ignition. "If you've forgotten anything else, too bad"
Duo coloured and looked down. It was a fairly long drive, and very quiet. Wufei yawned twice before he told Duo to take over the radio and ended up listening to something he thought was atrocious, but it was impossible to sleep to. When Wufei pulled through the gate and up to the door, an attendant took Wufei's car off somewhere. The Chinese wondered if Quatre could drive absently as he followed another attendant into the expansive mansion to the sitting room where the blond was waiting for them with Trowa. Greetings were passed around as were hugs on Quatre's part before the blond told them it was best if only one or two of them visited with Heero at a time. More people present than that and the Japanese tended to get overly nervous and anxious. Wufei went up with Duo; however, he wondered that once Duo assuaged his nervousness and fear somewhat if he would not leave the pair alone for a good while.
Compared to most of the rooms in Quatre's home, Heero's quarters were fairly sparse and too ordered for Wufei's tastes. However, Wufei saw it grated on Duo's nerves even more. Almost immediately, he had to touch something on the table so that it was not perfectly balanced. Then he flopped on the couch, knocking several cushions askew and crumpling the corner of a throw. The act visibly relaxed him, and the familiar actions relaxed not only Wufei, but Heero as well, which somewhat surprised Wufei.
"Hello, Heero. How're you doing?" Though he was used to starting these conversations, he had never learned to enjoy it.
"…I'm doing all right." Heero was quiet for a moment. "And yourself?"
Wufei closed his eyes for a moment. Words. More words than he had heard in a long time. From Heero's tired appearance, it did not seem like it, but he had a feeling that the change was agreeing with him. "I'm doing well, thank you."
Heero glanced at Duo and asked quietly. "And you?"
Duo opened his mouth to say something then closed it once and opened it again. "I am hungry, but, uh, good I guess."
Heero frowned, at a loss, but Wufei was not. "I believe Quatre is sending sandwiches up as we speak. In fact, I believe I hear someone at the door now." Wufei had been right; he retrieved a tray from one of Quatre's men and set food around the small table. It was informal; Wufei was sure Quatre had argued with himself a good deal about that.
"Hey, strawberries!" While Wufei knew Duo would be acting especially cheerful and adjusted on the food front, he also knew that exclamation had been genuine.
"Your favourite." Heero said suddenly, tentatively.
"Oh yeah." Duo grinned and forked a slice in his mouth. Wufei picked up a plate and examined it. Three sandwich halves; egg salad, chicken salad, and tuna salad. There was a small salad on one side, and a small bowl of sweet strawberries for each of them. Heero looked rather uncomfortable at the thought of eating like this, but Wufei had a feeling he would be all right once he actually began eating. "Hey, wow, this is my egg salad, isn't it?" Duo said from around a mouthful.
"I have a feeling these are all recipes of yours." Wufei said somewhat dryly. However, he found he did not mind. Once Duo had put his mind to it, the American had become an adept cook.
"Ha, you're right." Duo grinned as if he was chef of the world, but also with relief. Now he knew exactly what was in everything. He knew how much he could eat and how much he should eat. "'Ro, try the egg salad first. It's my favourite."
So Heero did, picking it up carefully with two hands, lest a drop of the filling fall. Gently, he took a bite, and nodded. "It's not bad."
Between his nervousness, and Heero's replies, Duo became even more talkative during lunch, but still managing to eat a good portion of his food. But near the end of their late lunch, part of Heero's egg salad sandwich fell apart, and egg salad dropped onto his knee. He froze and his eyes widened.
Wufei opened his mouth to say something, but Duo beat him to it and looked right at Heero, forcing him to meet his own cobalt orbs. It was something Wufei had had Allison and Keiko use on him; Duo had probably had his fair share of that look too. That look paired with a particularly tone forced the listener to really listen and think. "Heero. It's just a little spill. It's okay." He grabbed a slice of strawberry with his fork. "It's like this strawberry. It's just a strawberry. It's okay to have things spill, it's okay to eat the strawberry." But then the American wiped the egg salad away with a napkin. "All gone. No, don't stare at that spot. Finish your sandwich."
By the end, Wufei nearly chuckled. Duo had mother henned Heero, and it had worked well enough that by the end, Heero was eating his egg salad sandwich obediently, despite it having causing the spill. Once lunch was over, Wufei left the room with the dishes quietly. He felt the pair could use some time to themselves. Despite everything, it seemed they still did well together, even if they did not realize it themselves.
After some servant pried the dishes away from Wufei before he got down the hall from Heero's room, Wufei went to Quatre's office rather than the sitting room. "So, I think Duo averted a major disaster." Quatre looked up questioningly, and Wufei told him about the egg salad.
"I was actually sort of hoping something like that would happen." Quatre blushed. "Just to, you know, prove life goes on despite a bit of mess."
"Well, it worked, at any rate." They continued chatting for a bit before each settled to their own devices; Quatre tapped away at a computer, and Wufei flipped pages of a book on business philosophy he found on Quatre's bookshelf, which was a bit technical on the business end of things for Wufei but rather interesting just the same.
Later that night, once Wufei and Duo had returned to their apartment, Duo sighed. "He's still not Heero…"
Wufei sat down and gestured to his friend to sit too. He had been expecting this for awhile now. "Duo, remember when you first came back here?"
"Well, yeah but…"
Wufei did not let him finish. "You weren't really yourself either, were you? There was still a lot of work you had to do, right?"
For a moment, Duo's face cleared, but then it clouded over. "Am I really myself now either? Without medication, I'm a frickin' looney bin! I have to argue with myself that eating breakfast really is okay!"
The bitterness was thick and rough in the American's voice and Wufei touched Duo's arm lightly. "Yeah, you're you. Taking medication is okay. Think of it like taking your vitamins. You take those everyday, and they make you feel better physically by helping to take care of your body and keep everything working better than it could on its own. I take vitamins too, so do Quatre and Trowa."
That calmed Duo more. He seemed as if he wanted to argue; to be angry, but really all he wanted was to be reassured that it was all right. "I still have to argue about breakfast…"
Wufei had had this one beat into him by therapists; had discussed it with Quatre. "All of us have our demons. None of us are perfect, and the demons are not fun. But we keep fighting them, and they get weaker and life can make it all worthwhile."
"Still… what if my new medication stops working again? I have to depend on drugs to be normal?" Duo frowned.
Wufei knew it seemed like an awkward time for Duo to get upset, but he knew how scared Duo was, how scared Heero's recovery made him. "Then we try something else. What you're on now is working, and it's working really well, isn't it? You even stole my girlfriend and went to the movies with her."
"I guess that was pretty normal, wasn't it? 'Cause I mean, she and I are friends n' stuff…" Duo murmured.
"Normal isn't so bad. Having friends, having fun, it's not so bad." Wufei chuckled when Duo mentioned Lara. "If it means I don't have to see a chick flick…"
"They're good! Oi, macho-man." Duo rolled his eyes.
"Romantic. Hopeless romantic."
Duo snorted. "You're probably right. I mean, it takes one to know one, right?"
"…"
Duo's laughter filled the air and Wufei glared at him. Even if it was at least partially true.
So…. I'm nervous about this one. I mean, Heero is –really- back in this one, isn't he? That's a really big new thing. How'd I do with it?
