Here is the conclusion of what has been one of the most enjoyable things I have ever written. It's odd, it coming to a close, but I think I've chosen well, to end it where I have. So without further ado...the final chapter of Married In The Quarter Quell...
Dearest Finnick,
I once heard someone say, "there's no place like home" and I couldn't agree more. There's little else in this world that I don't love quite like being at home. Peeta bakes, constantly. He takes care of us, he's there, he's everything a good husband should be. In my youth, I wasn't a very good wife - well not all the time - but to be fair, I was young. I made stupid mistakes and I hurt the people I love, but I'd like to think - hope - that with the years that have gone by, that I've grown out of that.
Motherhood is a wonderful thing, there's nothing quite like it. Sure, I miss sleep - a lot - but I wouldn't change my children for all the sleep in the world. I still get my nightmares...I still dream of my children being sent into arenas and Peeta and I defenseless to help them...though I suppose that contributes to the lack of sleep as well, but we've made a pretty good life for ourselves, I'd say.
Sitting in the living room with the smell of cheese buns penetrating the air in every inch of the house is wonderful, Willow is sitting by the window reading a book. She's nine now, where has the time gone? About a year after Peeta and I got back from the Capitol - we haven't gone there since - Arrow was born. He is a wonderful treasure. He's 5 and so much like his father, always being helpful, always trying to make other people feel special and loved. His blond hair is just like Peeta's but his eyes are as grey as mine. A little bit of the bakers son (much like his father was), and a girl from the Seam. With those not really existing anymore, everyone is simply from 12. They tried to get into naming the districts but nothing would stick, so they left the numbers as is. Which I guess, is fine.
When Arrow was two we had the twins. To say I was ill-prepared for this brand of motherhood, would be putting it lightly. We learned a lot of things from trial and error with Arrow, but it wasn't until we have Ivy and Amaryllis that we truly understood the ways of being a parent. For one, Willow always slept well - sleeps well. Arrow is much like his sister, I mean, he wakes up randomly sometimes and crawls into bed with us, but my mother (over the phone, she still hasn't come to visit) told me that was normal and I had nothing to worry about. The twins are a blessing - I have to remind myself that when their toddler legs take them everywhere they're not supposed to be, but they're good girls, so I suppose that makes up for the rest of it.
The twins are two and a half now, and I just found out a few days ago that I'm pregnant again...yeah, not sure how I'd handle five kids, but I guess, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger right? I won a Games, I think I've got this. Ahhh, yes. I haven't told Peeta yet, the right time hasn't presented itself...mostly because changing diapers is not the right time, nor is crawling into bed exhausted. Maybe I'll just leave him something at the bakery. I just laughed, he'd just come home, so that plan's no good.
I spoke with Annie on the phone yesterday and she said you and the boys were doing great, and that's wonderful! I'm so glad things are going well for you Finnick, that's all I've ever wanted for you. You deserve the best of everything. Peeta and I are here, if ever you need us - yeah, yeah, I know I say that every letter, but that doesn't make it any less true than it is right now.
I suppose you're gonna want an update on things here in 12. Darius and Lavinia have two kids now and own a restaurant. They're both exceptional cooks, we have them over as often as we can, Peeta likes learning new recipes from them, and I certainly don't argue, especially with the pregnancy hormones that rage. They also have two red-headed, freckle-faced little girls and they are absolutely wonderful! They're Arrow's age and are constantly arguing over who is his best friend. It's really quite adorable. The way they live now, it's hard to imagine them ever having been tortured for Snow's sick amusement, though for them as well, when it rains it pours.
Next there's Thom, he's good. Well I guess that's all there is to say about him. Gale's family still lives here, but I haven't seen him since we left the Capitol, I did hear that he got married, no kids as far as I'm aware. There are some things that are just unforgivable, and he's taken part in two of the worse, those bombs have killed not only Prim but children! Which I can honestly say now, was the worst part of that god awful war. The lives of the children lost. My heart breaks constantly for those parents. Ivy got really sick a few months ago, we didn't think she would make it, but by some miracle she pulled though. I say miracle, because it was.
One of the best things that happened here - well you know this, but still. Johanna and Taf got married. They have a little boy, they named him Adam, and he's spunky and doesn't listen to anyone - ever...except Johanna. Though that's no surprise. If I had Johanna for a mother I would certainly do what she asked. The fact that she married Peeta's brother is quite wonderful, because for all intents and purposes, I have a sister again. The kids already called her Aunt Jo, so that just made it more real, though the only one that really knows the difference is Willow.
Well, I smell food burning, which is unusual, so I better go find out what's going on. But remember Finnick you are always welcome here, and thank you for the advice when we were in 13, I will never forget what you said - talking about sadness, darkness, you know - "Better not give into it. It takes yourself ten times as long to put yourself together, as it does to fall apart." My motto. I live by that everyday...especially when they're bad days. You were right, and I'm so glad to have you in my life.
As always,
Katniss Mellark
"Peeta!" I holler into the kitchen. "Are you burning something?"
"Yeah," agrees Willow wrinkling her nose at the stench, "it never smells quite, this bad."
"Watch your sisters," I tell her. She nods and I go into the kitchen to see Peeta hunched over the sink. "Peeta?" I walk over to him and shake him, "Peeta?" Then I whisper not wanting anyone to hear my concern, "Peeta!" He startles awake and looks at me confused. "You're burning the food!"
"What?" He shoots up straight goes to the oven, yanks it open and pulls out two very burnt quiche. "Really?" The he looks at me. "You didn't smell it before now?"
"Well, I was writing to Finnick, so I wasn't exactly paying attention to the smells…" I smile, "plus you rarely - as in never - burn anything so I wasn't expecting that type of smell today. I'll still eat that though."
"It's burnt?" he looks at me confused.
"The only time you eat burnt this is when you're starving - which you aren't, dying - which you aren't, or -" He looks up at me. Pregnant. That's how he was going to finish that sentence, and he'd be right. I didn't want to tell him quite yet, but I guess there's no avoiding it now.
"Yeah," I say plainly.
"'Yeah'?" He folds his arms over his chest. "After 10 years of marriage, you're pregnant again, and all I get is a 'yeah'?"
"I could have said nothing," I wink at him.
"Well, I'm sure I would have noticed at some point," he winks back. "You're not going to stay that small forever, especially now. How long have you known you were? Like did you wait awhile to tell me this time too?"
"Oh, no. I found out last week."
Peeta laughs, "and you didn't think to tell me then?"
"I had two kids to get to school and two to take there and back with me," I shake my head, "I was a bit busy bread boy." It's absolutely immature, but then our relationship sometimes is, and I stick my tongue out at him.
"Well technically," he emphasizes the word, "I guessed."
"You complaining?" I smile.
"Not at all," he pulls me forward into his arms. "This is quite wonderful compared to burning your favorite meal. You know Willow and Arrow won't touch this, right? You're going to have to eat this all by yourself."
"You don't eat anything you've burnt?"
"No," he shakes his head, "bad form. I'm so ashamed of myself."
I bend around him a little bit, pull a fork from the drawer, and scoop a bite from the quiche. "It tastes just fine to me." I smile. "Not like it's burnt at all."
"Oh," he laughs. "The kids are going to see right through that!"
"Oh, right," I put my arms around his shoulders, "and they totally know what it is to be starving."
"Oh, not that again!" Willow comes into the kitchen. "I get it mom. You were dying, he saved you. You went to the arena and saved each other. You helped in the war and came back to each other. We learned all about it in class today, plus you talk about the moment with the bread quite often."
Peeta and I drop our arms and stare at her, "They've started talking about the Games already?" This is the only question - to my memory - we've ever asked a question in unison. We'd wanted to prepare her for what she was going to hear in school, but it looks like we failed there, chalk that up to having three other kids.
"Oh, yeah," she nods. "Like, last week."
"Do you have any questions?" Peeta and I ask together and she gives us a weird glance.
"About what?" she shrugs. "We watched the video. Of the berries, of you burying that little girl, a lot from the victory tour...the first half of the Quarter Quell, ya know, before mom blew up the arena and lost you. Yeah, that part was more painful than not. Dad, how could you have forgotten who mom was?" She looks at Peeta, tears in her eyes.
"I didn't forget-"
"But you didn't remember!" Her shoulders slump and I grab her hand. "They told you about when you were born too, didn't they?"
"Was I really that frail?"
"Yes sweetie," I pull her in for a hug. "Yes you were, and it was terrifying."
"It's kind of weird," she shrugs.
"What is?" Peeta asks.
"Knowing that of all the people in Panem," she laughs a little before pulling back from me, "my parents are the girl on fire aka the Mockingjay, and the bakers boy. It's kind of cool actually. A couple of girls in my class didn't make the connection until they got to when I was born, then everyone wanted to be my friend, it was quite awkward. Ms. Hawthorne let me leave early though...so that was nice."
"You're not ashamed of us?" I look at her puzzled. "For all the death we caused?"
"Mom," she looks me dead in the eyes. "You may have lost a lot of lives, but you also saved so so many. Ms. Hawthorne has us calculate the amount of people you have saved, just by there not being any more Games. Mom, that's over 200 kids that didn't have to die in an arena. Over 200 sets of parents that didn't have to say goodbye to their children forever. Yes mom, a lot of people died, but that happens in war. You did what you had to, and now we're free from that. It wasn't supposed to be easy."
"But you're not ashamed of us?" I ask again.
"No," she smiles and shakes her head, "No. I'm proud that you're my parents. I mean I may never get out from under your shadow, but that's okay. What you did was great. You saved lives, I can't deny you as my parents for doing that."
"WILLLOW!" bellows Arrow from the other room and we all jump.
"WHAT?" she screams back.
"HELP!"
"Arrow?!" I call out to him.
"I'm fine mom!" he hollers back. "I just need Willow a minute!"
"Okay," I say shrugging. Willow runs from the room and I look back at Peeta. "They're talking about the Games…"
"Katniss," he says in his most reassuring tone, "we knew this was going to happen eventually, whether we were the ones that told her or the school was. It's okay though, she seems to love us even more for it. We can't argue with that one, right?" When I don't reply he asks again pulling me back into his arms. "Right?"
I nod and just as he leans down to kiss me there is a tug on my jacket. I look down to see Ivy with her arms raised. "Up?" she begs. I bend down and hoist her up. Peeta's just about to say something when I cover his mouth with two fingers - Ivy mimics what I did - "Honey, I'm quite alright. Now go fix the quiche so our children don't starve!"
"Ah, yes," he nods. "Who would ever want that...when they're so picky they could do that all by themselves."
"Isn't that the truth of the matter!" I smile and kiss him on the mouth. Ivy joins me and kisses him on the side of the face. I'm just about to walk out of the kitchen when Peeta's voice stops me.
"We've had a good life, Katniss," I nod as he continues. "Thank you."
"For what?"
He gestures all around us. "For this." Amaryllis is behind him calling "up" so he picks her up. With the twins in our arms he continues, "for them. For everything that we've been through. It wasn't always easy, but you stuck by me, you defended me, you protected me. You've given me four wonderful children. We have a good life. All the trouble, woes and pains of the past can't change that. We got lucky. I got lucky."
"No," I shake my head and walk quickly forward and gently stroke his cheek. "It's me that's lucky Peeta. I was dying, I was almost dead, and you did the noble thing, the brave thing. You took a beating to save my life. Everything I ever did after that, was my way of trying to repay you for every good thing that's happened in my life, that you're responsible for. Which from the very beginning was you all along. You saved my life that day. You saved me again in the Games. You saved me in the arena-"
"Technically, I died," he shrugs, "that's not very helpful."
"Ignoring that comment," I shake my head and continue. "You were determined to get me out, if it was the last thing you did. You went to the Capitol, you were tortured. You tried to kill me that first time, but then you came back to me. You got lost again, but came back a second time. I killed Coin, but you wouldn't let me kill myself. You came back to 12...you have saved my life over and over again. It is I Peeta, that is indebted to you. You have given me the life I never thought I could have - the life I never thought I deserved. You gave me these children as much as I gave them to you. They are pieces of us, pieces that will last far beyond when the story of the boy with the bread and the girl on fire gets old. They are our legacy, not the things we did to stop the Games...but what we've done since they stopped. Our children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and so on, are the only people who need to remember who we are in a hundred years."
I paused momentarily. "I want to be remembered, not because I saved Panem, I was the Mockingjay, or because I'm a victor of one of the Hunger Games. I want to be remembered as the woman who loved her husband with all she had, because at the end of this life, when the kids aren't in the house anymore, there will be just you and me. There has always been you and me. No amount of time, or hardships can change that. We're together for life, and I think that's one of the best decisions I've ever made...however forced I felt at the time. You're what's worth all the pain and loss Peeta. Having you here, and having the kids. You made all the bad things worthwhile."
"Agh," Haymitch walks into the kitchen. "Willow let me in. But I didn't expect to walk in on a 'who loves who more' debate."
"Haymitch!" we both stare over at him and my hand drops from Peeta's face.
"We owe you our lives, many times over." I tell him. "In the first arena, you send me the burn cream, you sent Peeta broth, I'm sure you had something to do with what we got at the feast. You sent us a full meal. You got us sponsors. You took care of us."
"And when we won," Peeta adds. "You took care of us. Told us what to do and what not to do. And even when the Quell was announced, you promised us both that you would take care of the other. You have to lie to one of us, that had to have been hard on you."
"I would have died in that arena," I say as a tear falls down my face, "if you hadn't gotten me out of there. If you hadn't gotten pregnant me out of there, Willow wouldn't have made it either. You saved my family Haymitch. We owe you our lives."
"Oh god," he takes a step back. "No quiche is worth this lovefest!" He shakes himself off, as if we'd sprayed him with water. "This is far too sappy for me. I'll see you kids tomorrow, for food, and normal conversation." He shakes his head and leaves. He may find it sappy, and I'm sure to him it was, but it's true, we owe Haymitch our lives.
"I think we've done pretty good," Peeta says putting his free arm around my shoulder and rubbing Ivy's cheek.
"I think we did the best with what we had," I smile at him. "And look at all that we have as a result. It's beautiful." The front door suddenly slams shut and the all too familiar voice of Johanna Mason - kept he last name - bellows through the house.
"I'm taking the kids to the park!" She comes around the corner. "No questions." She glances around the corner. "Give me the girls." She takes them from our arms and walks out of the room. "I'll see you for dinner brainless, try and make something - not burnt - there baker boy! You're disappointing your patronage with your blackened food!" The door shuts behind her.
"What just happened?" asked Peeta.
"Tuesday," I laugh. "What just happened was Tuesday."
Then he pulls me into his arms, "I like Tuesday's."
"I like Tuesday's too."
He leans forward and kisses me. There's the warmth I've felt from the beginning. It's never gone away, and I never want it to. His arms make me feel safe, as no other arms can. And once again, when we're finally alone, it's like nothing bad has ever happened, we're right back in that kitchen, the first time we slept together. The first time we really were a husband and wife, and now years later...it's still the best feeling in the world.
Loving Peeta is easy, especially when it feels this good.
The End.
It's hard for me to put into words just how thankful I am that anyone has taken the time to read this, to review, to PM me. You guys are what made all the struggles and craziness of my life worth it. So thank you.
To those of you who've read it since I started it in January (2014) thank you so much for sticking with me. It is truly you that I write for.
To those of you who have come along the way since...thank you, for finding my story good enough to binge read for hours.
To those of you who will read it in the future - you will never know the struggle of waiting for the chapters - but thank you anyways!
I will be indebted to all of you for the rest of my life, because you gave my writing a change, and I can't say thank you enough times.
God bless you all!
If it's not too much trouble, please leave a brief review, with a moment or chapter that you really loved, because it would certainly make up for the sadness I'll feel later today for this story finishing.
I love you all!
