Chapter 54

Mara's POV

I opened my eyes to the soft glow of morning light spilling into the room through the window. Although I would have preferred to sleep in the Nest, Nahun's room gave us more privacy than the mass of sleeping dancers ever could. I rolled over, saw that my lover wasn't awake; so I turned back to the sunlight, watching sleepily how the bits of dust in the air seemed to dance in the warm, honey-gold rays. Beautiful, I thought, and wished I could paint something that innocent.

I sighed softly, remembering my dreams from the night before. Far from being pleasant, like my time with Nahun had been before I slept, my dreams had been more like nightmares. My mother had been in them, and this troubled me; I hadn't seen her in so long, and I was beginning to worry.

"Mara?" drawled a voice beside me. I turned and Nahun hooked his arm around my waist, pulling me close to him. I tried my best to erase the worried expression on my face, but he was too quick. "What's wrong?" he asked, a shadow passing over his green eyes.

I shook my head. "Just bad dreams," I replied. I forced a smile and kissed his lips playfully. In the six years since my affection for him had begun, our relationship had strengthened, and I doubted that anything now could pull us away from each other. I liked it this way; loved the way Nahun made my stomach flip over when I saw him, the way he made my cheeks grow warm every time he settled his eyes on me, even though he'd been doing that for six years. I loved him, but although he had told me the same countless times, I had yet to return the words.

I didn't know why I couldn't tell him how much I really loved him. Perhaps I thought I would scare him away, like I had scared my mother from me all those years ago. What I had with Nahun was special, safe, and I didn't want to consider losing it. I had never thought that this would happen in my life, that I would find someone as special as Nahun but I'm glad I did.

He kissed my throat, making his way down to my collarbone, finally stopping at the hollow of my throat, and a delighted shiver ran down my spine, but the sadness remained despite his attempt to cheer me up. "Please tell me what's on your mind," he mumbled into my throat, tickling me. I pulled away slightly, smiling, then looked into his eyes and became serious.

I was thinking of Ecl, of how lately I'd been going there often without telling anyone, while I was alone, without Acelan or Nahun to stop me from falling. I longed for the icy wind, the frigid water that made me so numb I didn't have to think about love or rejection or the future.

"Does it bother you that we can't have children?" I asked him instead, my lavender eyes emotionless, when I really felt like crying. How could Nahun want to stay with me when I couldn't bear his beloved children? I had always wanted a daughter, but I would never be able to, would only delight in the play of Karma's girls. I wasn't so selfish that I would try to bear a baby that would be lost to Ecl, to my horrible haven, before she was even born.

Nahun took his time answering and, for a split second, I feared he was thinking of the future, but then he replied, "No." The word was simple, and it only made me love him more. I buried my nose in his good-smelling skin, feeling hot tears pressing against my eyelids.

"Thank you," I whispered. I wondered if it was hard for him to say that, if it pained him to act as if our relationship was so simple around everyone else. A part of me even envied Acelan and Karma, but that part was not very large. They both deserved the happiness that Iris and Aleya brought. They especially deserved it because of the events that I knew were to come.

I squeezed my eyes shut and let the tears fall onto Nahun's warm skin. He propped his chin on his fists and smiled, "Something tells me," he drawled, "That someone's expecting us."

I didn't ask how he knew that, but just simply watched him as he rose from the sheets, the sunlight glowing on the skin of his face, the way his white, silk shirt seemed to shine under a pale green tunic. I laughed as he hopped around, only one leg in his earthen brown slacks, swearing softly as he bumped into the desk, finally being able to put on his slacks as he used chair as balance.

I shook my head and looked down at the long, buttoned-up shirt that I had used as a nightgown. It smelled like his apple-scented aftershave.

Nahun gestured to a trunk at the foot of his bed, "I borrowed some of your clothing and I had a seamstress make you some new clothes…that is if you didn't mind."

I shook my head, and lifted the lid of the trunk, lifting a beautiful, lavender silk gown from the pile and a few shirts, slacks and tunics. They weren't all elaborate; some were made for keeping out the weather and such. "Where did you find all this fabric?" I asked, admiring the few dancing skirts and shirts at the very bottom of the pile.

Nahun bit his lip and rubbed the back of his neck, not meeting my gaze. "I…I went in disguise to Wyvern's Court and asked…I asked your mother about some new clothes fitting your size—I didn't mention your name."

I looked up at him, and selected a clean pair of plain black slacks and a white shirt and blue tunic, slowly putting the other clothes back inside and closing the trunk. "How is she?" "How's her work?"

"She's well," Nahun answered, "and from what I saw, business seemed good."

I nodded and went behind a screen to change. Afterwards, I ran my fingers through my curls and sighed. "How about a walk?"

He nodded and pulled me in for a kiss. His lips were soft and sweet against mine and, as I pulled away, he took my hand, leading me outside.

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We met Karma in the garden, Aleya sitting beside her on a stone bench. Aleya ran towards us, nearly knocking Nahun over as he picked her up, resting her against his hip. "Where are you headed, Aleya?" he asked, ruffling her hair as she giggled.

Aleya hugged him around the neck and I had a fleeting vision of a different future.

Lavender-blue eyes—my eyes—flecked with green and sandy-blonde hair? As Nahun put her down, Aleya let her golden wings grow and my eyes played tricks on me again…iridescent wings tipped in indigo?

Had I seen my child? Had Ecl not claimed her yet? Swaying on my feet, I saw Iris II run up to her sister and her amber eyes faced mine. A cold feeling settled over me and I saw someone else.

Amber eyes turning to blue-gray—the blonde-black turning fully to blonde. Blood on the face of Ecl…too late, stars sparkling upon the surface of the seas…Crazy.

A voice brought me from my thoughts and I shivered as my knees buckled out from under me. Nahun caught me and Karma took both Iris and Aleya, leading them away.

Karma came to my side, "What happened…"

I was disoriented and my words came out a strangled moan as I drew a shaky breath. "She'll take you too." Karma gave Nahun a frightened look and I already felt their forms disappearing as I slammed against the ice of Ecl with a force that knocked the wind from my lungs, causing the water to ripple.

I fought, screaming and clawing, as the pull of magic pulled me under, my breath fading in rising bubbles.

I see her. Evil Ramla. Her face, composed and cold, stares at me with no love, no hint of praise and I am forced to meet her eyes as she frowns and reaches out to brush my cheek with her fingertips, her touch sending shivers of fear down my spine.

"No…I'm not crazy!" I scream, " No!"

Tears spill mercilessly down my face as I try ever so hard to back away, to run from her but her magic takes hold and overwhelms me like a blanket of ice. She taught Iris to be cold, to kill without love, but after seeing Acelan, I knew she saw the truth of her ways. Ramla is a twisted woman, savior and demon, teacher and murderer. She murdered those children for her own purposes!

She will not use me.

Ramla whispers promises in my ear, futile words laced with false praise, and she whispers threats, spiteful words that are like drops of acid rain upon my lips. Chanting, she brings me dreams of darkness, visions of death, of hate and betrayal…

"You're crazy!" she whispers, "little falcon child, raven girl…" "Crazy mongrel, bringer of death to those you love…"

She waved the painting, the one of Acelan and Karma on the black dais, inches from my nose, and I shrieked, scrambling to grab the ugly thing, but Ramla held it out of my reach, shaking her head. "Not until you do one thing for me, child…"

"I'll never do anything!" I screamed, Ramla took my hand and a burning pain crawled up my arm, like fire, like ice, and I screamed, the air escaping my lungs in a rush of pain, of sorrow, and I feel my body becoming numb, immobilized and tricked by her false words and by her magic.

"Crazy child…mongrel…hopeless Mara. Death will come to your king or queen…otherwise his beautiful children will pay the price." "You can't stop me forever Mara."

Nahun reaches out to me. Her voice still hammers in my head. His fingers stretch out to air; his face is begging me to grab hold. His lips are moving but suddenly it seems as if I've become deaf, I can't hear him.

Ramla smiles at him calm, but not welcoming, "What are you doing here, boy? Come to join me?" "She cannot hear you."

I laugh, a high, screeching laugh that I don't recognize and my crazy self unconsciously grabs hold of Nahun's hand. Beautiful warmth floods me and the pull of his magic is so strong, so wonderfully comforting, that I willingly fall limp in his grasp, the lull of Ramla's magic struggling to take hold again.

Back in the Now, I wake on the ground, Nahun and Karma stood over me. Nahun's face was wet with tears and as I sat up, he crushed me to him. His breath was warm against my skin, "We thought you were a goner."

Karma nodded, "You were mumbling…screaming for someone to let you go. Ramla."

I nodded, wordlessly and leaned into Nahun's embrace, shivering. What I had seen in Ecl was not for anyone else to worry about…