And now we continue on with the next chapter. Thanks to all of you for reading and big thanks to randaroo32 and Phoenix07. shanalemons0404 for the reviews. I'm glad that you liked it that much. Meant to update this earlier today but forgot. I hope you enjoy it.
Chapter 54: Confrontation
Lizzy and Fulton went out for dinner that night, since Lizzy was still too upset to see Portman. After that they went to a movie and then Lizzy drove them back to school. The year prior, for her 16th birthday as promised, Lizzy's dad bought her the car she had always dreamed of–a 1969 baby blue, convertible, Ford Mustang. Though Lizzy had tried to protest to her dad trying to buy her love and forgiveness, he had refused to take it back. Portman, Charlie, and Fulton all had cars at the school as well. Portman's oldest brother had given him an '89 Pontiac Firebird–which was by far Lizzy's favorite car aside from her own–Matt had given Fulton his Camaro when he had gotten a new car, and Lizzy's brothers had chipped in together to get Charlie a safe and dependable Jeep Grand Cherokee.
Once back at the school after dinner, Lizzy found Julie studying and by the look the girl gave her, Lizzy knew Julie wasn't going to tell her. "It's okay. You don't have to tell me. Just don't pity me," Lizzy said. Julie nodded.
The next day Lizzy did her best to avoid Portman, lest she confront him before he talked to Bombay. Finally practice was over and Lizzy took longer than usual in the shower and when she left the locker room she was the last to leave.
"Lizzy, wait up!" Bombay called as she headed for dinner. Lizzy stopped and waited for him. "Walk me to my car?" he suggested. So they changed directions to the parking lot. "I talked to Portman and he asked me not to tell you."
"You're going to tell me anyway."
"Yes. Oh Lizzy, he loves you so much, but at the same time he is so scared of ending up like Connie and Guy."
"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked curiously.
"Breaking up and getting back together every other week."
"Oh."
"He's also worried that one day he's going to break it off and you'll be so hurt that you'll never want to see him again. He says you deserve to be happy for the rest of your life and he can't promise that. He's worried that you'll break up with him one day for good because no high school couple ever makes it. Just look at Connie's parents."
"Do you think he's right?"
"I think he makes some valid points and he has the right to be scared but I also think he is underestimating how you feel and the chemistry between the two of you. I think the only way to get through to him is confronting him and making him see you think he's wrong. If he still refuses you should move on."
"I see." At least he agreed with her and Fulton.
"Lizzy, I don't think you're being stupid about this and I do know that the heart wants what it wants and that you should go for it."
"What if it crashes and burns?"
"You're still friends with Dwayne, aren't you?"
"That's different. Dwayne and I sorta fizzled out but with Port, it's going to be all or nothing. If we get together there will be no going back."
"Okay."
"Thanks for talking to him."
"Of course."
After dinner while Julie was in the shower, Lizzy called Portman's sister Lissy. "Hello?" Lissy asked when she picked up the phone.
"Hey Lissy, it's Lizzy."
"Hey darlin'; what's wrong?" Lissy must have picked up on the curious tone in Lizzy's voice.
"I wanted to ask you something. Your parents–when did they meet?"
"High school. Dad was in catholic school and mom went to the public school a couple blocks away. The met on a field trip to the local museum. They met a few more times on the town and started dating in their junior year. They've been together ever since."
"So they were high school sweethearts?"
"Yeah."
"Same with Star's parents?"
"Same with them but they went to the same catholic school."
"Okay," Lizzy answered. She asked a few more questions, and then the girls hung up.
"So what are you going to do?" Julie asked.
Lizzy looked up to see her standing in the doorway. Lizzy swallowed. "Don't know. Fult and Bombay have said I have to confront him or let him go. There are no other options."
"Do you know why he keeps turning you down?"
"Most of it."
"Then confront him; you like him, then you should go for it. Look at me and Scooter, we're still going strong. I really think you and Port could be very happy together." It seemed like everyone had the same idea.
"I know. Thanks, Julie."
The next morning Lizzy walked to breakfast alone and spotted Portman a couple dozen feet ahead of her. She quickened her pace, steeling her nerves for what she was about to do. She had to do it now. There was no use waiting, not when her happiness was so close. She finally caught up with him and tapped him on the shoulder.
"Mav," Portman said nervously.
"Are you avoiding me, Portman?"
"Why would I do that?"
"Don't know. Used to be since the start of junior year, every morning, you'd walk me from our dorm to breakfast. For the past five days–ever since hockey tryouts–you have been avoiding me like I have the plague or something."
"That's not true."
"Feels like it is. I have so many questions. First though," Lizzy pressed a hand into his chest and shoved him into the lockers behind him, "first though, what color is your hair?"
"Uh, brown? What are you doing Mav?"
"And your eyes–they're not blue, are they?"
"No."
"So you're not Guy." Portman shook his head to her assertion. "And last time I checked my eyes are blue, not brown, which means I am not Connie; and since you're not Guy and I'm not Connie that means our relationship will not be like theirs. Pardon me for saying this because Guy is one of my good friends, but I am not an attention seeking hound like Connie is. Our relationship will be different. We will not end up like them. As for your fear that every high school couple ends up breaking up–well your parents are still together, so are Star's, and so is nearly every married high school sweetheart couple you know. You want me to marry some guy I meet in college? My aunt did that and she's twice divorced."
"How do you know all this?"
"You may have been able to convince Fult and Julie not to tell me but when Bombay feels bad for me, he tells me things. We like each other a lot and I would rather take the chance of being happy with you than just staying friends and pretending nothing could be between us. So here's what you're going to do. Friday after the game you're going to take me out to dinner and then we're going to walk around Edina for a bit."
"I don't think that's a good idea, Liz."
"Dean Portman, you look at me." Lizzy removed her hand from his chest and used both hands to pull his face down to hers. "I am no good at poker because I don't particularly like lying to anyone. I love you more than I have loved anyone before. We'll go out Friday night and we'll take it slow. If it doesn't work out it'll hurt, but I will do my best to move on and we'll go back to being Mav and Goose with no expectations other than great friendship. I promise."
"Lizzy—" Portman started.
Lizzy leaned up and kissed him. When she pulled back she looked deep into his eyes. "One date that's all I want." Then she walked off to breakfast.
News of their date spread like wildfire and by practice the entire school–students and staff alike–were buzzing about it. "You still sure it's a good idea?" Kenny asked as they skated laps.
"I'm sure this is the only chance I'm going to get so I won't blow it. What do you think?" Lizzy answered.
"I think it could either blow up in your face or go the way you want."
"Kenny."
"I will warn you that sometimes the expectation of romance is 10 times better than the actual romance itself. I really hope that is not the case here. The two of you deserve so much more than that."
"Thanks Kenny," Lizzy said genuinely.
Early Friday morning Portman shot up out of bed in a cold sweat. He looked around to see it was still dark out and Fulton was fast asleep. Portman grabbed his alarm clock and saw it was 4:30 in the morning. Knowing the quickest way to wake his friend was a light; he pulled the lamp shade off their bedside table lamp then turned it on.
"I am not late, I swear. If you found and turned off the alarm clock in my closet I will kill you." Fulton's new habit was hiding a very loud alarm clock somewhere in the room so he and Port would never be late for breakfast.
"No, I ..." Portman trailed off and Fulton rolled over shading his eyes from the light. That's when he saw the sweat pouring down Portman's face.
"Dude, why do you look like you did laps for Captain Blood?"
"You know what, now that I think about it," Portman put the shade back on the lamp, "it's stupid."
"Dude," Fulton looked at the clock as he sat up, "you woke me at 4:30 in the morning looking like you just did a bunch of laps. Tell me what's wrong."
"Don't think I'm stupid, but I had a nightmare," Portman said. He swallowed and stared down at his lap.
"A nightmare? What happened?" Fulton asked curiously.
"Lizzy ... Our date, it didn't work out and then it was next year ..." Portman swallowed. "I dreamed that next year I get a phone call and Lizzy. She ... she committed suicide. She never got over me and she couldn't take it."
"It was just a nightmare. Lizzy would never do that." Fulton shook his head. Portman glanced up.
"But what do I do?"
"No expectations. Just try to enjoy the date. True love always survives."
"How do you know?" Portman asked.
"My parents. My granddad hated my dad from the day he met him. Couldn't stand my dad. A photographer wasn't good enough for his little girl but my dad loved my mom and now he's my granddad's favorite son-in-law."
"Isn't your mom an only child?"
"Yes, but that's not the point. You love her; don't force the date, just enjoy it."
"Sorry to wake you."
"Hey, for you and Lizzy, any day, any time."
"You don't mean that."
"I do, actually. Especially when you're so close to being happy."
"Thanks Fulton."
"Yeah, sure."
Friday evening rolled around and with it came the date. Lizzy dressed in a pair of black corduroys, a long sleeved shirt and her black cowboy boots. "Not what I would have chosen but I'm sure Port will like it," Julie answered when Lizzy asked her opinion.
"So, where would you like to go?" Portman asked as she stepped out into the hall.
"There is this little diner about 15 or so minutes from here. Adam and I used to hang out there after practice from time to time. We can have some dinner there."
"Sounds good." Portman offered her his arm and Lizzy took it. They walked out to his car and he drove to the diner. All through dinner they talked about anything and everything that came to mind. Every now and then Portman would reach across the table and take Lizzy's hand. She would smile just a bit more but wouldn't say anything about it. Soon they were walking around the town. Neither one really noticed as their hands intertwined. They continued to talk as they walked and slowly they let the silence overtake them. It wasn't an awkward silence but rather a comfortable one. One where they just enjoyed being with each other. Eventually the night came to an end and they returned to the school. As they stood outside Lizzy's dorm room, she looked up at him.
"So what do you think? Still think you and I weren't meant to be together?" Lizzy asked.
"I don't know. I enjoyed that date like Fulton said I would if I didn't push it but—" he said.
"You're still worried about what happens if either one of us blows it."
"Yeah."
"Portman—No, this has to be different. Dean," Lizzy said taking both his hands, "you didn't blow it tonight. If we let this continue you probably won't blow it tomorrow or the next day or even the next day—"
"And the day after that?"
"Can't predict that far and I wouldn't want to try. Sure, one day you might blow it, but don't you at least want to enjoy what we have until you do blow it?"
"That's not a good idea."
"Port—Dean, did you enjoy tonight?"
"Of course I did; on a purely date standpoint."
"Then that's all that matters. It was a romantic and very sweet date. Tell me the truth Dean; you'd still rather just stay friends?"
"Wouldn't you?"
"I have to tell you the truth. If this doesn't work, Dean, there is no going back."
"No going back? What do you mean?"
"I've said this before, I love you. I have fallen so hard and so fast for you. If dating you doesn't work out then I don't think things will ever be the same between us."
"And that's why I don't want to chance it. I would rather have you as a friend for the rest of my life than not have you at all."
"I never said I was leaving you. I just said it wouldn't be the same. Perhaps if we take it slow, our entire relationship, we'll be okay. I know that there are expectations from our friends and our families but there doesn't have to be."
"Doesn't have to be what?"
"Any expectations. Since I was a little kid, all I wanted was attention. I'm the youngest of five children. Always fighting for my dad to see me. Always. From that though, I've learned that wanting attention and trying to live up to everyone's expectations of you is crazy. You have to make yourself happy; otherwise you can't live with yourself. I want to be happy. Why should anyone get to tell me how I get to live my life?"
"I don't know, Lizzy."
"Be honest with me; do you let your brothers tell you who to date?"
"No."
"How about your parents?"
"No, but what's—"
"Dean, you have always done everything you could to make sure that your happiness came first."
"I'm not scared of ruining things between us, I'm worried that one day I'm going to push too hard and you're going to break. You're going to get so angry that you'll push me so far away I can't come back from it—that we can't come back from it."
"But that's not true. There is only one person I can get that angry at."
"Yeah, me."
"No. It's the one person who has been taking my anger since the day I met him."
"Who? If not me, then who?"
"Gordon Bombay. He's known me since I was 12 years old and nothing I have done has ever made that man give up on me. No matter how hard I push. If he can handle my anger when I'm at my worst I have no doubt that you and I will be just fine."
"But I've seen you get angry before at others. At Charlie and Connie."
"I still talk to them both, don't I?"
"Yes, I suppose that is true."
"Bombay on the other hand, he knows just how to handle my anger. I try to be understanding and I don't think that there is anything you can say or do to make me as angry as you're worried about making me. Dean, please just give us a chance."
"I want to so bad, but I think that if I do I could ruin so much more than our relationship. Think of what it could do to Fulton."
"You're saying it's not—we're not worth it?" Lizzy said, her voice choking up.
Portman looked down at the ground, avoiding Lizzy's burning gaze.
"Look, you don't have to decide now but soon. If you think we could work then ask me out again; if you don't I'll understand." Lizzy told him. She swallowed then stretched up and kissed his cheek and then slipped into her room.
"So how'd it go?" Julie asked when Lizzy entered.
"The date was fine. It was his brain that got in the way once we got back," Lizzy answered as she flopped backwards onto her bed, sighing.
"He's just worried because he loves you so much. Anyone can see that."
"I guess you're right. It just hurts to know he thinks that."
I really hope you all enjoyed that. Can I please get three reviews this time? Please.
