So... I recently spent some time perusing the reviews I have received for all of my stories, and would like to take the time to thank everyone who has taken the time to read, favourite/follow, and even review. That someone would take the time out of their day to engage with the various offerings I have uploaded is humbling, and it is possible that when I don't stop to consider it, I don't appreciate all that you offer in even simply stopping to read. So thank you all for being so willing to do so.
Thanks especially to those who have offered a review, however small. That you would take the time to make the effort to let me know what you think, and how the chapter has made you feel, is encouraging. I may not show it much, but you are appreciated. These thanks are repeated, in particular, to Turrislucidus and Sonny April, both of whom took the time to comment on the last chapter. I definitely agree on how lucky Charlie is to be able to sleep in until ten Turrislucidus, though it may be that he regrets this later on, when he has to return to a more normal schedule. Don't you think that were you able to do so, you'd miss it more on the occasions you didn't get to? Grandma Georgina... See how you feel after this chapter perhaps? Also very true in relation to all the facets of love Sonny April. I think anyone would struggle to define the word completely.
And now having said this much, I will leave this behind. If you wish to tell me what you think, that will be much appreciated, however, if not, then I hope you will continue to read, and hopefully enjoy, the offerings as they are uploaded.
The story discussing an issue with a friendship that Hansard describes later on in this chapter came out of the book "The Chalet School" by Elinor M Brent Dyer. All situations in relation to this are her work, and I only borrow the theme as I felt it helpful to where I wanted this chapter to go. The brief words of French are also hers, and it is my understanding that more often than not, her word choice would be unrecognisable for someone who grew up speaking the language. As always, beyond this, if you recognise it from elsewhere, the chances are that it doesn't belong to me.
Deep Thoughts, Different Thoughts.
Charlie didn't really respond to anyone over the course of the rest of the day. He only escaped punishment due to Grandma Josephine explaining the state of affairs to the rest of the family before he joined them for the evening meal. Ellie wasn't exactly pleased at him apparently ignoring her, but there was a glimmer of understanding in her eye as she took in his unseeing visage, and she decided that she would leave him be until morning. If he continued to ignore her then, however, he would know all about it!
Thankfully, when morning came, Charlie was ready to communicate again, and once he had had his breakfast, one of the first things he did was turn to Ellie and ask "Mom, what would you say love is?" Ellie smiled at him, something somehow melancholic in her posture. No. She would not think about Jim. That kind of love hurt too much. Instead she would focus more on love as she showed it to her family. As she used to show it to her family, she reminded herself grimly. She couldn't show them that she loved them this way anymore… With a sigh, Ellie began to talk.
"Well Charlie, I believe that love is about showing others you care for them. It's about making physical sacrifices so that they have their material needs met. It is in seeing people making a sacrifice to meet your physical needs that you know they love you."
Charlie looked at her sharply.
"Is that why you dislike Wonka so much Mom? Because he stops you from showing your family that you care for them in the way you're used to?" Ellie's jaw dropped, as she assimilated just how perceptive her boy could be. After a few minutes of thinking, she finally managed to respond.
"One of the reasons Charlie." She admitted. "Wonka has always been one of those people who just rubbed me up the wrong way. It's nothing he has done in particular; it's just the way of things. You can't always explain the way you feel Charlie, sometimes it's best just to accept it as the way things are and attempt to deal with it."
Then, as Charlie continued to sit in silence, contemplating all she had said, Ellie continued.
"I'm afraid I need to go Charlie. But Grandma Georgina and Grandpa Joe are around if you need to talk. Remember, Hansard is coming to give you a check-up at 11:30!" And with that, Ellie left the room.
Charlie was rather surprised to see Grandma Georgina sitting next to him when he next looked up.
"You were in a bit of a brown study there Charlie! Is everything alright?" Charlie looked at his grandmother in confusion, giving a bit of a double take at the unfamiliar term. "A what Grandma Georgina?" he enquired.
"A brown study!" she responded with an impish grin. "I meant you were deep in thought, and rather gloomy thought at that." Charlie sighed.
"Yeah. I just keep getting so many different answers regarding what the word 'love' means. I don't understand why everyone thinks it's something different.
His grandmother smiled again, a look of deep compassion searing him.
"That's because love is experienced in different ways, by different people, at different times," she told him, an arm coming to rest around his shoulder. "People say that love is a feeling. I don't think it is. We experience it as a feeling, but I think love is more than that. For me, love is a choice. Love gives you the patience to respond kindly when those around you are upset or frustrated. Love responds in different ways to the different relationships I have. Therefore it's difficult to define it. It just is."
Charlie groaned. "This isn't helping either!" he complained. "Why did the teacher have to give me such a difficult assignment?"
Grandma Georgina gave his shoulder a squeeze. "Maybe she wanted you to realise that sometimes something that seems simple can be anything but. Defining a word, not a problem, but it is important to know that some words can have vastly different meanings in different situations, and when talking to different people. We can use the same words, but mean completely different things."
After frowning in confusion for a short while, contemplating what his grandmother had said, Charlie smiled up at her. "Thanks Grandma, I'll think about that. Maybe that will work in OK with my assignment."
As his grandmother wandered over to the other sofa, he made a few notes in his steadily growing collection of thoughts, to make sure that he didn't forget what his mother and grandmother had told him. Then he looked up. He wasn't too sure why he felt so wary about asking Grandpa Joe what he thought. Grandpa Joe would normally be the first person he asked, but now… Charlie felt cautious. However, he knew that this wouldn't get any better until he actually made the effort, so Charlie looked over towards the older man who had meant so much to him up until recently, and taking a deep breath, he wandered over to the older man.
"Yes Charlie?" Joe asked a note of displeasure in his tone as he saw the boy standing beside him, apparently wanting to talk, but hesitating. Joe frowned at this, hating the loss of the easy friendship they used to have.
"Would you mind giving me your take on what love is Grandpa?" Charlie asked in a rush. "I don't want to leave you out, but you have seemed so defensive recently, I wasn't sure how to approach you," Charlie admitted, not quite believing that he was being so open.
Joe's frown deepened, and Charlie shivered upon seeing it.
"Love can be a painful subject Charlie," Joe explained. "It's a bit of a double edged sword. We cannot live without it, but the people we love can hurt us.
"Love is like sunshine. It felt out of this world, and like the sun would never stop shining when your father was born. But then, he died, and the love I felt for him almost tore me apart, because the one I loved no longer existed.
"The sun came out again when I remembered we still had you. This sweet little bundle of love, who was so willing to love everyone around him. It quickly became something the entire family craved. The unconditional love of a child is something that is a gift. That's why I believe that love is like sunshine. Knowing that someone you care about loves you is the best feeling ever."
Charlie beamed up at his grandfather, giving him a swift hug. He had never realised that the older man felt that way. Sighing in contentment, he found himself responding.
"That's the way spending time with Wonka makes me feel Grandpa! The fact he wants to spend time with me is fantastic. I never knew someone could care that much."
In an instant, a look of pain flashed across Joe's face, and he shoved the boy away, barking out one last comment.
"But the people you care about the most have power over you and can hurt you more than anything else can. Never forget, Charlie, sunshine can burn!" And with that he strode out of the room, oblivious to the look of shock that passed over Charlie's face as he fell to the floor, and the tears that swiftly followed. What had he done wrong?
As luck should have it, Hansard had arrived at the suite just as Joe shunted Charlie away, meaning Georgina completely missed it happening as she went to answer the door. Georgina ushered the doctor into the living area of the suite, immediately departing for her own domain. She therefore remained oblivious to the sudden meltdown in Charlie's conversation with Joe and had no idea that latter had propelled Charlie away so impetuously, with such ferocity that the boy was flung to the ground.
The ever observant doctor, however, had very quickly realised that Charlie's conversation with his grandfather had come to an abrupt, sticky, end. Quickly the Oompa-Loompa crossed the floor, and picked the boy up, holding him close as he wept. Hansard was well aware that Charlie was more shocked by the treatment he had received, than hurt by the fall, though he might have sustained a bruise or two from his sudden contact with the carpet.
When Charlie calmed down, he flushed in embarrassment as he realised that it was his doctor who had witnessed the end of his conversation with his grandfather.
"Don't worry Charlie. I've seen worse!" the perceptive Oompa-Loompa told him, prompting a sigh of relief from Charlie. It seemed that Hansard wasn't going to treat him differently. "How about you tell me what happened?" Hansard continued, hoping that he would be able to salvage something from the obvious disaster that had just occurred.
Haltingly, Charlie told of the scene, what had lead up to it, and the things that had been said.
It didn't take long for Hansard to realise that as pure as his intentions were, Charlie had said the worst thing possible to Joe, given the circumstances. He needed to hear that Charlie still cared about him, and about his family, and Charlie had stated that he cared about Wonka.
Charlie had looked utterly confused when Hansard explained this. "But doesn't grandpa know that I love him?" Hansard responded by asking a question. "Do you know that your family love you Charlie?"
Charlie cocked his head, a look of deep thought on his face.
"Ye-es," he eventually pulled out.
"And do you always feel that love, or do you sometimes find yourself doubting it?" Hansard persisted.
"Oh!" a look of sudden realisation swamped Charlie. His biggest issue with his family was the feeling that they didn't really love him, that they simply used him. That was why he wanted to push them away. He had never considered that his family might struggle with similar concerns.
Hansard had one more matter to discuss with Charlie since they were talking about relationships, before he finally turned to the medical examination.
"Charlie, I want you to be careful about how you deal with your feelings over the next few weeks. Some of the things you have said about Wonka remind me of what my girls at your age would have called 'soppy sentimentality'." At the look of confusion on the boys face he paused, and thought about how to put his point over.
"When the girls were growing up, I used to read to them. One of the series they were fond of featured some girls in a boarding school. One of those girls was shown as being prone to sentimentality, and she developed a deep affection for one of the other girls, who she begged to be her 'amie intime.' We would call it a 'best friend'.
"The other girl gave in reluctantly. She was willing to be friends with the first girl, but wanted to be friendly with everyone. She didn't have time for the all-encompassing friendship the first one longed for. Often, the way the first girl acted towards the second bored her, and made her want to lash out at the first girl, because it wasn't a healthy friendship. The first girl put the second girl on a pedestal, and wanted to feel that while the second girl would have other friends, she was the most important. Things settled down, and the friendship became stronger, when the first girl grew up, and developed other friends. They were both happier for it."
With a look of confusion, Charlie held up his hands, asking "can you give them names Hansard? This first and second girl thing has lost me completely!"
Hansard sighed, though he understood how it could be confusing. And so he began again, repeating his explanation practically word for word, substituting the names 'Simone' and 'Joey' for 'first girl' and 'second girl'. When the reiteration was finished, Charlie was left frowning. He still didn't really follow. "What are you trying to say Hansard?" he eventually asked.
Hansard sighed. "I'm not trying to criticise you Charlie, please don't think that. I do feel that you are maybe starting to let yourself care about Willy too much though. No one can meet all of the needs of any one person. It's too big a job. We all need a variety of people around us, to help us when we are struggling. I'm concerned that you are risking losing many other friendships by focussing too much on the one, to the exclusion of everything else. Don't get me wrong, Willy is a great person, and I know he has done a lot for you, but you need to knock him off that pedestal Charlie, because he will never live up to your expectations when you have him placed way up there. No one could."
Charlie frowned in consideration, as he took in what the Oompa-Loompa was saying.
"So you think that I could make Willy bored with me?" he asked.
Hansard paused before answering. "That's one possibility Charlie. But I'm more concerned about what would happen if you kept Willy up on that pedestal, pushed everyone else away, and then Willy let you down. He wouldn't mean to, but he is only human, and we all make mistakes. Without anyone else around you, you would have no one you could trust to talk to about it, and that's not a good thing. Better to invest in other people, spend time with them, think about them, care about them, and develop a network of friends. I think you'll find you have a better friendship with Willy if you do that as well."
Then, as Charlie continued chewing on his lip, the Oompa-Loompa smiled at him. "Come on you! Enough of such deep thoughts. Let me give you that check up, and we can both be on our way. It's almost lunchtime anyway!"
Charlie looked up, smiling in relief. There was so much here that was so strange to him, so many different thoughts. It would take time for him to process them, and reach any conclusion. Charlie knew one thing though, Hansard would always do his best to help him. Maybe, in a few days' time, he would ask Hansard what he thought love was.
