Chapter Forty-Nine

After dinner, Shiloh and Adam sat on the settee, enjoying the fire, while Hoss and Annie played a game of checkers with Joe waiting to play the winner.

"Shiloh, I want to talk to you about Tom Baker," said Adam quietly. "Why didn't you discuss the horses and the trust with me before the hearing?"

Looking at her hands in her lap, she answered, "I was going to. But then we weren't speaking and…"

"You weren't letting me."

"Why did that stop you? You didn't let it stop you tonight."

He rubbed his forehead. "Trust me. It won't happen again."

She cut her eyes toward him and crooked her jaw before she continued. "Anyway, I saw no point. I had decided to leave and take the horses with me. I figured if you sold the ranch, you'd let me keep the horses, and Tommy, Johnny and Billy would be going with me, so you wouldn't have had to deal with Tommy at all."

"Would you really have left?" asked Adam quietly.

She held her breath as she stared at the fire. "I…I was serious. So much has happened in just the last month. I've added singing, and then you said that Jim could send more business my way for horses. Then there was…" She looked away. "Natalie...and Will…and Sam." Turning back toward Adam, she asked, "There was a look that passed between you and Jim when I asked him if he knew Natalie. Something happened?"

Adam pursed his lips when he looked at her, then put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. "She did the same thing to Jim and his fiancé that she tried to do to us. Only, they didn't work it out."

"Why would she do that?"

"Rachel, the girl Jim was planning to marry…her father was well connected in Massachusetts politics. If Jim had married into the family he might have given Will Stewart a run for his money for the Senate seat. Will has some kind of hold on Natalie. I don't know if she's in love with him or if he's holding something over her head, but whatever it is she does whatever he asks of her."

"But you knew Natalie while you were in Boston. She hinted that you and she were..."

Adam took her hand. "I told you I took her to a few dances. Her only interest in me was in making Will jealous. After she set her sights on Jim, I didn't want anything to do with her. I just wish I had figured all that out before Jim lost Rachel. He really cared for her."

"Adam, if she's in love with Will, why would she want to come between us? You'd think she'd be afraid that I'd go back to Boston."

"Why would she think that you'd leave?"

Shiloh looked back at the fire and thought for a moment. "I guess she wouldn't have known that."

"Why did you want to leave if not because of what you saw?"

"Because of Sam King. Before you came in, Sam said that they didn't want the ranch. They just wanted me to leave Virginia City. I was trying to found out who they were when you came in. Anyway, Sam was the last straw. And they are still out there."

He turned all the way around to face her. "That's still bothering you, isn't it?"

She avoided his eyes and answered quietly, "I never thought I'd ever…."

Adam raised her face to his, but she closed her eyes. "Sweetheart, there's nothing for you to be ashamed of. He had a gun on you. You had every right to defend yourself."

"Do you remember the first man you had to kill?" she whispered.

Caressing her cheek, he answered, "I remember every man I've had to kill."

Her chin quivered and pools began to form in her eyes. "How do you live with it?"

Moving to the coffee table in front of her, he took her hands. "Look at me." She moved her eyes up to his. "Taking a life is never easy. But it's part of life when you own a gun. Sometimes, just the act of wearing one makes you seem threatening."

"Then why do you wear it?"

"They call this the uncivilized West for a reason. I wear it for protection because the West is full of uncivilized men…like Sam King." A tear found its way out of the pool and down her cheek. "Sweetheart, how would you have felt if he'd killed Annie because you did nothing?" She looked up at the ceiling and closed her eyes, squeezing the tears out. "You did what any one of us would have done. You have to accept that you did nothing wrong."

"I had never thought about guns one way or another until Micah died. That's when Daddy started wearing a gun around the ranch, and I couldn't understand that because it was a gun that killed Micah."

"It wasn't the gun that killed Micah. It was the man holding the gun. In this case, that man was Sam King. The difference is that he didn't kill you."

Slowly looking back up at him, she whispered, "Just don't ask me to carry a gun again…please."

Adam nodded and rose, walking to the liquor cabinet. He poured a glass of brandy and brought it to her. "Sip this. It'll help you relax."

She sat back and took a sip while Adam walked to the fireplace and put another log on the fire. She knew she could dwell on Sam King all night if she allowed herself to, so she changed the subject. "Adam, what if Natalie was here because of you…not because Will sent her?"

He breathed in deeply. "This has Will's name written all over it. She didn't deny it."

"He's never behaved improperly toward me."

"That's not true. He acted inappropriately in your hotel suite in San Francisco."

"He was drunk. That doesn't count."

Annie sat up straight. "Shiloh, the man is obsessed with you. Even if he does love you, what he really wants is Isabella on his arm to increase his popularity so he can advance his career. He wants power, and he wants to use your fame to get it." Frustrated, Shiloh glared at Annie.

"Sweetheart, why are you defending him?" Adam asked as he sat back down beside her. She looked away, but he cupped her chin in his hand and turned her back to face him. "He sent Natalie here because of you and me. And when he hears we're engaged, he's liable to try a lot worse."

She suddenly stood and walked toward the fire. "This is no better. Will is still inserting himself into my life and whoever they are, they're still there. And I still have the ranch, the horses, the singing, the books, the timber…and now the silver."

"Silver?" said everyone together as all eyes moved to Shiloh.

"Sam said that ore came from Flying W land. And he said he was getting paid with it."

Adam stood and walked over to her, taking her in his arms. "You don't have to deal with all that alone. We'll handle it together."

She barely heard him. All she knew at that moment was that she felt as if she had been enclosed in a warm, protective cocoon.