Prompt: Write a drabble with the word WISTFUL in it (and for the peeps who asked for a continuation of #49)

Characters/Pairings: Merlin, Gwen

Ratings/Warnings: K+, continuation of 'Realizing' (#49)

Word Count: 393


Revealing

Even though I had expected it—to hear it from sweet Gwen and to see her fear, to see her shudder when she described a sorcerer's eyes…

My eyes.

I can't look at her.

Because when I was nine summers old, I noticed them for the first time—unnatural, alien, and wrong—in the creek. I remember scrambling backwards and away from the glowing orbs of my reflection, and in my horror and fear, my magic had retreated almost painfully, snapping back like a cruel whip.

The apple I was playing with hadn't even stopped moving by the time I stumbled to my feet and began to run, and while I can't remember where I ran or how far I went before I tripped and curled up on the forest floor, I do remember being unable to breathe, being unable to discern one frantic thought from the other, being unable to stop the tears from escaping those damned, monstrous eyes…

When Mother found me, she knelt by my side, murmuring and rubbing my back as I sobbed…

Why didn't you tell me?

Tell you what, my boy?

How could I not know?

Merlin, what's—?

They…they change, Mother.

She knew immediately what I was referring to and was unsurprised, and I remember her taking me into her arms and telling me that all those with magic possessed such a quality and that she never told me because it was so natural for someone like me and that, no, it never once bothered her. She told me that my eyes, gold or blue, were beautiful. It didn't matter that they could blaze like flames because they were mine. Not a monster's, as I had led myself to believe while lying on the cold forest floor.

Even so, ever since that day, I still find myself unnerved by how my eyes morph because no matter what Mother or Gaius says, they label me, and they will alwayslabel me as a sorcerer.

"You're lucky," I finally say.

"What?"

"Someone else might wish that they could have nightmares like that," I say as a strangely wistful smile touches the corners of my mouth.

"I—I don't understand."

I take a deep breath and, to my surprise, I find myself unable to care anymore. "Don't you?"

The floodgates burst, my magic pours…and my eyes—they reveal me.