A/N: So, I don't know what in the world spurred me to write this (but when do I to be perfectly honest?). I had planned on not covering this particular episode, but then Fred was all, 'yo... that's not gonna fly.' And actually - quite surprisingly, I like this one: so I hope you guys like it too!
You all have no idea how much I loved the feedback I received from you lovely people last chapter. As I think I briefly mentioned (note my sarcasm, I must have mentioned it 499576 times!) that I was quite fond of the song, so obviously I was partial to it and the chapter that developed with the song. And to hear some of you (yes you, Caitlin, hehe!) who weren't particular Kris Allen fans, listen to him on repeat.. I have no idea why that makes me squee, but it does!
So, without further adieu, special thank you to those that of course read last chapter, but also those who reviewed too! You guys fill me with encouragement because seriously 903 reviews for 53 chapters? Wow! Just, wow.
Special hugs to: rhymenocerous, iheartcsinewyork, Bob aha (lol), Lindsay1234, rapidetv, 18lzytwner, afrozenheart412, cklovesm-m, saderia, Dine89, 6, ioanhoratio, and last but definitely not least - unlikelyRLshipper.
To confirm, italics denote a flashback. (Yes, the majority of the chapter is in italics, but it just didn't seem right to leave it as normal font, sorry guys!)
Key to My Heart – Jessica Jarrell
I don't wanna act a fool, don't wanna look confused. If I let you know about the way I feel don't know what you gonna do, so I keep it locked inside and imagine you were mine. And I'm feeling you so close but yet so far: you hold the key to my heart.
"Is the father going to be here for this?"
Lindsay glanced up at the ultrasound tech with a surprising amount of venom in her eyes. She'd watched the trashy teen dramas where some poor character had found herself in the same situation as she'd recently found herself in; with the father no-where to be seen. And even though he didn't seem to be here, that question was still asked: "is the father going to be here for this?" Lindsay cleared her throat of the lump that had taken residence and bit out: "Don't you think he'd be here already if he was coming?"
"Sorry, I didn't..."
"Well, you did." Lindsay chided. "So if you don't mind I'd really like to get this over with, I have to get back to work."
The tech nodded and began to prep Lindsay for her second ultrasound.
"You had to reschedule your last appointment, correct?" The tech asked as she quickly read Lindsay's patient file.
"Yeah... I uh- got wrapped up at work and completely forgot about my appointment." Of course, Lindsay left out the part that after seeing Danny stood in the waiting room she'd been left with no courage to go back for her appointment she had already been late for. Seeing him had been too much of a shock. What she had handed Danny in the locker room was her first ultrasound picture. She carried her first scan around with her and subconsciously she knew why – it was so that on the off chance Danny found it on her person, it would save her from gathering up the courage to drop the bomb herself.
The tech nodded in response to Lindsay; not completely satisfied with her reason but decided not to push it any further. She offered Lindsay a reassuring smile continued on with her work.
Lindsay turned her head away from the technician and closed her eyes as she fought the tears that slid down her cheeks. She hadn't meant to snap at the poor woman, but she had really expected Danny to show up. Granted their relationship wasn't exactly solid, but she had hoped and prayed that he'd find it in him to turn up. She knew that it was a lot to deal with and he had a lot to think about, but she had thought that he was doing better with it. They'd talked over a week ago and things had appeared to be good between them – she just didn't realise how wrong she had been.
She'd obviously made a huge mistake, letting him into her heart once again. Shame on him for fooling her once, but now – the shame was on her for letting him fool her twice. She'd trusted him. She'd trusted that he would change upon hearing that she was pregnant – that they were pregnant. She thought he'd step up to the plate and bring it home... but apparently he'd hung his bat up and called it a day.
They were so very close to what they could be – but upon closer inspection, they were so far from what they should be that it cancelled out everything that they would be, given half the chance.
At least, that's what she told herself.
The truth was, if he cornered her in the lab and he offered a lame apology about freaking out and not being able to make it or getting tied up in a case and not being able to take off, she'd plaster a fake smile across her face and insist it was okay – that she'd forgotten she'd asked him along to the appointment anyway. She'd probably even add in for him not to worry and there would always be next time. She hated herself for being that way, but she was helpless. He held the key to her heart and no matter how hard she tried to fight it, she simply couldn't. He could break her over and over again and then he'd be able to just let himself back in because she'd take him back every time. Granted each time it would get harder and she'd eventually get to a point where no more was no more... it was just a matter of how many times it would take until she called it a day.
"Alright, now-"
A rushed knock at the door sounded at the examination room, bringing the technician to a stop.
Lindsay's heart fluttered in her chest. She knew that knock, but a knock was a knock –and there was also six billion other people that could share the same knock as Danny.
"I'm sorry," The tech apologised to Lindsay before glancing towards the doorway. "Come in."
"I'm sorry I'm late. I got held up on the subway."
Lindsay tore her eyes away from the screen where she'd fixed her eyes on and swiped away a tear as she stared at the person stood in the doorway. "What... what are you doing here?"
"Well, it's your second ultrasound appointment, is it not?" The thick New York accent chuckled as he shut the door behind him and moved to take a seat.
"Yeah... but-"
"I said I would be here, didn't I?"
"Yeah but... when..." her voice trailed off, unable to voice her concerns.
"I wouldn't have missed this for the world." Danny whispered as he took a seat next to Lindsay and tangled his fingers through her shaking ones. He then pressed a kiss to the top of her hand, and to finish off, he pressed a delicate kiss to her temple.
The tech cleared her throat politely, gaining herself Danny's attention to which he turned and held his other hand out over Lindsay's stomach. "Hey, Danny Messer. I'm Lindsay's boyfriend and the baby Daddy." He finished with a smirk.
The technician took Danny's hand and shook it firmly as a smile tugged at her lips; she then turned her attention back to the screen.
"I didn't think you were going to come," Lindsay whispered as her fingers dug into Danny's hand as she buried her head into his chest. "I thought you'd changed your mind."
"I promised you I'd be here. I'm in this with you, Linds. I just got stuck on the subway... that's all. No second thoughts, no cold feet... I promised I'd be here and I'm here. You've gotta stop worryin'," Danny teased as he rested his chin on Lindsay's 'pillow', making sure he could see the screen from where he was positioned, but he was also as close to Lindsay as physically possible without actually mounting the 'bed'. "Those hormones are sendin' you crazy, baby."
"Maybe." She giggled in agreement as she swiped a stray tear away. "I'm so... I'm so glad you came."
"I told you, I wouldn't miss this for the world. I got a lot of makin' up to do... missing your second appointment wouldn't exactly be the best way to do that, would it?"
She let out a breath and turned her eyes to the screen, her hand still gripping Danny's.
"Now, in a few seconds we should be able to hear your baby's heartbeat." The tech smiled before pressing a few buttons on the keyboard.
Both Danny and Lindsay swallowed as they waited for the low rhythmic thump to sound in the room. Within seconds, they heard the first beat and both of them stopped breathing for a moment as they listened to the mesmerising sound fill the room.
"That's it?" Danny asked in awe, his voice breaking from his emotion. "That's the baby's heartbeat?"
"Yup, and it sounds strong and healthy too. I'll leave you alone for a few minutes." The tech smiled as she rubbed Lindsay's hand as a silent way of expressing how happy she was for this young mother – and that there were no hard feelings from earlier. She then quickly headed out of the small examination room.
"Oh my God." Danny whispered as he leant his forehead against Lindsay's temple. "Linds, that's... amazin'."
"It sounds strong," she giggled tearfully. "Right? That's what she said, strong and healthy, right?"
Danny simply nodded against her as he squeezed his eyes shut. Noticing his lack of verbal expression Lindsay craned her neck towards him a little. "Are you okay?"
"I'm so sorry I missed your first appointment." He whispered as he pressed a kiss to her cheek. "But I swear on my mother, I'm here by your side for everything else, alright sweetheart?"
"Don't make promises you can't keep." Lindsay whispered tearfully.
"I don't make promises I can't keep." Danny assured her. "Not when it comes to you two."
Lindsay offered him a smile at the usage of "two". It encouraged her that he was willing to acknowledge the fact that there was now two people relying on him – and he was stepping up to both the role of father and supportive boyfriend.
But it was only an offered smile. She still wasn't sold on his dedication.
"What's on your mind?" He asked, sensing her hesitation.
"Are you sure we're going to be able to handle this, Danny?" She whispered tearfully.
"I don't have an ounce of doubt in my mind." He answered automatically. "You and I are perfect for this job, Montana. It's a surprise, considering... but I wouldn't have this any other way."
"I just..."
"You don't wanna get hurt again?" Danny sighed, sadly.
She shook her head as the tears slipped down her cheek. "I don't know how much I can take. It crushed me when they called my name and you weren't here with me... I know you were on your way, but it just... it scared me Danny. I thought I was here alone."
He sighed heavily.
"And I'm scared of telling you what I really feel because I don't know how you're going to react."
"Well why don't you try me?" Danny suggested. "Give me a chance?"
Lindsay chewed her lip for a moment as she listened to the steady heartbeat of her child, which effectively made her own heart skip a beat. "I know I told you that I could do this by myself..."
"But..." he prompted.
"But I'm scared. I don't want to do it by myself. I really need you Danny, and I don't want to scare you, but I do... I need you."
"Oh baby," he whispered as he wrapped his arms around her head and pulled her towards him. "I'm here for you. You don't have to do this by yourself, baby. I promise." He assured her as he wiped away her tears with the pad of his thumb. "I'm here and I'm always gonna be here, k?"
"I just... I don't..."
"It's gonna take a while to get that trust back in me and I understand that babe, just give it time, k? There's no rush, I'm not goin' anywhere."
She nodded contemplatively.
"I sense there's something else on your mind."
"There is." She admitted. "I feel... I feel we're so close to being something amazing, but there's just something holding us back... and that something is me."
"Well, what's holding you back?"
"You. Me. Us... Everything's happening so quickly I don't want to jump in head first. I don't know why I'm holding back because I've had plenty of time to wrap my head around this. I'm okay with having our baby; I just don't know how okay you are with me having your baby."
"Lindsay," Danny sighed as he pressed a kiss to their intertwined knuckles. "There's no-one else in this entire world I imagine myself having a baby with. Hell, until you came along I didn't imagine myself with a steady girlfriend... let alone a baby. There's no-one else in the entire world I would want a baby with. You're it for me, Lindsay. This is it for us."
She chewed her lip as she let his words register.
"I know it's hard to trust me and anything I say right now Lindsay and I understand why you feel like that after everything that's happened, but I promise you I'm going to support you. I would have supported you in whatever decision you would have made..."
"There wasn't ever any other option, Danny. There was no decision to make. I was always going to have this baby, with or without you."
He pressed a kiss to her temple as an apology for ever putting her in a situation where she had to consider having his baby without his help. The kiss was weak but he knew for a fact that no words would express how much he hated himself for treating Lindsay in the way he had.
"You think she caught a vibe that we needed a few minutes to talk?" He teased after a few moments of silence between the two of them.
"She's probably stitching her head back on from when I gnawed it off." Lindsay blushed. "I was kind of bitchy to her."
"You bit her head off?" Danny snorted. "You're a badass... what did ya do that for?"
"She asked me if you were coming, which honestly, it was a stupid question, because if you were coming you would have been in the room to begin with..."
"Except for the fact I was held up on the subway..."
"I didn't know that though." Lindsay defended herself. "So maybe I'm a little sensitive right now."
"Well," Danny smiled as he leant to her stomach and pressed a kiss to an area that wasn't covered in gel. "It's a good job I'm well versed in sensitive!Lindsay."
"You are?" She asked, tears springing to her eyes at the adorable action of him kissing her stomach.
"Well, actually... can I get back to you about that in eight months?"
"Linds..."
Blinking herself away from her reverie, Lindsay glanced up to her mother and sister. "Huh?"
"You went somewhere for a few minutes... everything okay? Doctor Scott asked you a question."
Lindsay turned and offered an apologetic smile to the Doctor. "Sorry..."
"Is the father going to be joining us today?"
"No, the father's not going to be here," she began. "He couldn't get away from work."
"Not to worry," the doctor smiled reassuringly. "We'll just make sure everything's okay here... you're quite the brave woman flying across the country in your eighth month, Miss Monroe."
"It's Mrs. Messer actually." Lindsay corrected, a proud smile plastered across her face. "But you know, brave, crazy... same difference."
"Got'cha," The doctor smiled. "Now, let's see here..."
Lindsay nodded as she shifted in the chair.
"That doesn't look too comfortable." Haley chuckled.
"You'd be surprised, it's actually quite comfy." Lindsay smirked as she settled in a position and then cringed a little as the cool gel sent shivers through her. "It's cold every time," she giggled. "And I know it's coming, but I always cringe."
"You're not the only one," Lindsay's temporary Doctor smiled. "My wife and I have had four kids, and even now she still cringes when the gel goes on..." He trailed off as he focused on the screen in front of him. "Now, let's see what's going on in there. You haven't been having any contractions recently?"
"No, I've been feeling fine," Lindsay informed the Doctor. "My Mom and sister insisted we had an appointment just to check."
"Better to be safe than sorry," Doctor Scott said as he flashed a smile towards Lindsay's mother, and just as he finished talking a quick, rhythmic thump filled the small room.
"Is that my grandchild's heartbeat?" Dana's teary voice asked meekly.
"It sure is," The Doctor smiled. "Strong and healthy, which is what we want."
Lindsay turned and smiled at her tearful sister and mother. "I'm glad you.. you know, got to see me pregnant."
"Oh sweetie," Dana whimpered as she reached for her youngest daughter's hand. "I'm just so glad I got to see this... the ultrasound... hear the heartbeat."
"Me too," Haley sniffed as she swiped her tears away with the sleeve of her jacket. "Linds, this is incredible."
Lindsay smiled as she turned back to the screen and observed her growing child.
Doctor Scott turned from where he had been facing the screen and smiled brightly towards Lindsay. "Well, she looks to be doing just fine."
"She?" Lindsay whispered as tears sprung to her eyes. "I'm having a girl?"
"You didn't know?"
Lindsay shook her head slowly. "I... my tech in New York was never able to catch the baby in the right position, but I always... I always thought," she swiped away at her tears. "I'm having a baby girl?"
Doctor Scott nodded. "You sure are."
"A girl." Dana whispered. "A granddaughter."
"A niece!" Haley squealed. "Holy crap! I call spoiling duties!"
"Danny's going to be beside himself," Lindsay giggled tearfully. "He was praying for a baby boy. He's been picking some questionable boy names all day... I have to tell him."
"He's still at work," Haley reminded her. "Wait until you can talk to him."
"I'll text him." Lindsay shrugged as she grabbed her phone that Dana had been handing her. "I have to tell him. He told me I had to tell him if they said anything at my appointment."
"I'll give you all a few minutes to call the masses." Doctor Scott chuckled. "Take your time... and congratulations Mrs. Messer... pass on my congratulations to your husband."
"I will." She smiled sincerely as she briefly paused from her message.
"What're you saying to him?" Haley inquired as she glanced up from her own phone, currently in the process of texting Nathan Lindsay's news.
Lindsay merely smiled at her sister as her thumbs quickly compiled a message before sending it and passing her phone back to her mother.
"What did you say?" Dana pressed as she slipped her daughter's phone into her handbag.
Lindsay simply smiled as she turned and fixated her eyes on the screen. "Hey baby girl." She whispered.
Dr's appointment going fine... he's giving us a few minutes so I figured I'd text you with you being at work and me only having a few minutes. I'm fine, and so is our baby GIRL. He confirmed the sex, finally! :) We'll talk when you finish shift. I hope you're as excited as I am about this... I love you.
Danny swallowed as he glanced up from the message and dropped the 'Best Boy Names Ever' to the table. He felt like a tonne of bricks had been dropped onto his chest. He was internally freaking out and jumping for joy at the same time... which he was pretty sure was impossible.
Trying to make his way back into conversation, he suppressed the terror in his chest as he began to inform the rest of the group of his and Lindsay's... exciting news.
"Mac's no good... that was Lindsay," he broke the excited babble of their co-workers.
"She alright?" Stella inquired.
"Yeah she's fine... and so is the uh- baby girl, in her belly."
As the team celebrated the new revelation about his and Lindsay's baby...girl, Danny let out a deep breath. Life as he knew it was over. A baby girl changed everything. They'd have to move to the suburbs in order for him to be able to construct that impenetrable tower he had set his mind on building. He'd then have a lot of late nights waiting for her to get home from a date once Lindsay had made him take down the said impenetrable tower... He'd also have a few murder wraps to beat if a boy ever dared to break her heart... He'd have a heart attack the day she told him she was pregnant – because after all, no boy was ever getting close enough to her to get her pregnant, so he had that to worry about too.
Oh god. Danny cried internally. Oh god, oh god, oh god!
Honestly, he could feel the grey hairs growing on his head as he sat and let it sink in.
Had Lindsay texted him with news of a boy, he'd be dreaming of all types of different things. Little league. Baseball practice. Monday Night Football. Girls. Cars. Motorbikes. Grandchildren... and he'd probably be doing cartwheels to celebrate. But a girl? A little baby princess? A Daddy's little girl?
Stupid fucking players curse.
A baby girl. Two girls. Lindsay and... Lucy? Or even maybe Lydia. Either way, they were his girls. And maybe, just maybe after he finished freaking out – having two girls was something he could get on board with. He'd have to, because he had no choice. This being said, he'd literally found out seconds ago about his baby girl... but she already held the key to his heart.
And as for her mother, well, of that there was no question. Lindsay Messer would always be the one with the key to Danny Messer's heart.
Hope you enjoyed... I know I mixed it up a little with the beginning, but Fred and I just can't help ourselves when it comes to drama it seems... and well, it was quite the squee-worthy scene in my head when Danny walked on into Lindsay's exam-room.
Anyway - thanks so much for reading. Comments are always muchly appreciated! :)
