He ignored me during the rest of classes. He ignored me at lunch. He ignored me at supper. He refused to even look at me.
The others had no clue what was going on. I knew they were watching our every move, waiting for the clue that would make them understand. The only clue they were getting was the silence and tension between us.
Eleanor knew what was going on. She watched me from her table, never taking her eyes off of us. She was the only one who understood.
In the common room that night, it was even worse. Eleanor, of course, wasn't there and I was stuck alone on the couch. It was mostly my decision; I didn't want to talk to anyone. Not my roommates, not James, not Sirius, not Peter, and definitely not Remus. I wasn't going to beg for forgiveness. I had done nothing.
Remus was sitting in a chair on the opposite side of the room, acting like he was working on an essay. I knew he wasn't; his eyes were scrutinizing my every move.
So I pretended to be writing. But I wasn't either. Every few seconds, I glanced up to see him staring at me. He made no indication that he knew I was looking at him.
I resorted back to stabbing my journal with a quill. His quill, to be more exact. His stupid quill with the stupid pretty feather and the stupid ink bottle with my name. I wanted to throw that ink bottle at his head! My hand was closed over the ink bottle, clutching it so tightly it was about to break.
"What are you doing?"
I flinched. He had to come and talk to me. Sirius had to acknowledge me when Remus was watching.
I looked up and clenched my jaw. "Nothing," I responded with a hardened voice.
Sirius raised an eyebrow at me. I had to admit that was pretty cute – okay, now was not the time to be thinking that. Remus was probably watching everything and waiting to see what I would do.
He then sat next to me. I stared straight ahead and refused to look at him. "What happened between you and Remus?"
Of course he would like to know that. Everyone probably wanted to know. But what could I say? 'Oh, nothing really. We just fought about how I throw myself at you'. I glanced over toward Remus's way to see him glaring at me.
"He's being an idiot," I answered. Look, Remus, do you see me throwing myself at Sirius? No, of course not.
"Ivy," Sirius said softly, inching closer to me. I shivered involuntarily, grateful that Remus couldn't see that from where he was watching. I just kept staring forward. "Remus really likes you. I'm sure he didn't mean whatever he did."
I hated this. I hated how Sirius was trying to give me advice and sympathize with his friend while Remus was staring. "I doubt it."
I had the urge to look at Sirius's expression but then remembered that I had to keep staring at the random spot on the table. I was not going to look into Sirius's gray eyes and lose myself. I couldn't.
"Well, Remus will get over it. He can't stay mad at his friends for too long. He's just not like that."
I shook my head slightly. "I'm not his friend."
There was a pause. "Of course you are," Sirius finally said. He probably thought I was crazy. Someone that bought me a present, asked about me, thought about me, waited for me was not my friend? But he didn't know what had happened, what had changed.
I wasn't going to tell Sirius. I couldn't tell him. But why couldn't I? "He ended our friendship."
I couldn't hold back anymore. I turned my head slightly to see his expression. He was staring at me with a look of shock, anger, and disbelief. "What? Why would he do that?"
It was just a matter of time before Remus would tell my secret to Sirius anyway. I was going to beat him to it. I was going to tell Sirius the truth first. I was just going to say 'because I fancy you' and then run away.
Run away and transfer to Beauxbatons. I still knew how to say 'cheese' in French. That could come in handy.
All I had to do was say it.
I took a quick look over at Remus who was still watching. I then looked back at Sirius who was waiting for me to respond.
I ignored the frantic beating of my heart and finally gave him an answer.
Another cliffhanger. I never plan these; it just happens. I'm so sorry!
My schedule for updating this story is a bit different now. It depends on if I write the chapter the night before. Then it will come out around noon. If I don't, it will be around three (eastern standard time). But things are subject to change when my brother is on the computer. Which is always.
I just want to thank again everyone who has alerted, favorited, and/or reviewed this story. 800 reviews? I'm still shocked. Thanks!
