Summary of Events: Hannah, Kakuzu and Deidara are headed west to find the Ring of Four which is currently in the hands of a Kikensai (local mob) leader. Dessie, Itachi, Hidan, Konan, and Sasori are headed south to find the Ikustaka. Leader, Kate, Zetsu, Tobi, and Kisame are headed north to find the Temple of Four.
Leader, Zetsu, Kisame, Madara, and Kate have arrived at the Temple of Four, only to discover that women are not allowed in. Kate has to dress as a boy named Felix to stay there.
Chapter Fifty: Blue Things
Kate
I do not like being a boy. Remind me next time I'm on Earth to thank my mother for birthing me a girl. The monks managed to find me better clothes than the ones Tobi had given me, and now I wore kaki shorts and a black t-shirt. Kisame thought the whole thing was hilarious and spend endless hours teasing "Felix" about how short he was. I woke up this morning before Kisame and decided I should go put for a walk before the teasing returned. The temple grounds were gorgeous, filled with lush gardens and flourishing plants. I strolled along the pebble path, hands thrust in my pockets.
"Felix can't help that he's short," I muttered. "He may be twenty-two, but he's genetically structure to be only 5"3. If you want to blame anyone – blame biology and that ridiculous rule of genetics."
Of course, no one answered. So instead I adjusted my voice to be deeper and continued the conversation:
"Your boyfriend is a jerk, Kate," said Felix.
"I know, I know." I sighed dramatically, my voice much higher as I spoke as myself. "He can be sweet. It's just because you're around."
Felix snorted. "I suck at making friends."
"That's not true!" I cried. "You're really nice and funny and smart and cute – don't forget the cute."
"So… You're saying that you're cute."
"No! I'm saying you're cute!"
"But I'm you and you're me. So if I'm cute, then so are you."
"Oh shut up," I snapped, while Felix sniggered behind my back.
"Kate… What are you doing?"
My head jerked up. I didn't see anyone on the path and I looked to my right to see the masked face of Tobi standing beside a very square rose bush.
"Talking to Felix," I said, stepping off the path to join Tobi.
His one eye blinked. "Aren't you Felix?"
"Felix is the male version of myself," I said. "He's very rude."
Tobi glanced at me suspiciously, and then – after a moment's thought – he shrugged. "Whatever."
I ran my fingers against the crimson petals of a rose. "You're not Tobi, are you?"
"No. I'm Madara today."
"How'd that happen?"
Madara hesitated. "I don't know. I woke up as myself."
"Scary," I murmured. "I would hate to wake up as myself. It's so frightening."
"I know," said Felix. "But that's okay. I wake up as you for you now."
Madara glanced at me sidelong, as if he were trying to puzzle me out. Apparently he wasn't successful, because he shrugged and said, "Tobi and I have been switching more and more since we arrived in Seanova."
"I wonder why," I said.
"The inter reality travel probably broke whatever jutsu was allowing Tobi control over you," said Felix.
Madara blinked. "Why is Felix smarter than you?"
"We may share a body, but that doesn't mean I have to be as stupid as she is," muttered Felix.
"He's rude," I said. "So Tobi's had less and less time in charge of his own body…"
"Yes."
Any further conversation was interrupted by the arrival of an old monk gardener. He wore the same brown robes with square patterns as the head monk. He was hunched over, dependant on a crooked cane, his bald head glittering in the sun.
"Oh. Hi," I said, waving.
"You're such a suck up," said Felix.
"You're such a grump."
The old monk shot me a curios glance, but he decided against mentioning it. He leaned against his cane and regarded Madara and I carefully.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"Madara."
"Ka – Felix."
"Such nice names," said the old monk softly.
"Kisame gave me mine," said Felix and I added, "He wanted to name our first child that, apparently."
Madara snorted. "And here I never knew Kisame was gay."
My face turned beet red while Felix cracked up laughing.
"That's nice," said the old monk.
"Yes, yes," muttered Madara irritably. "That's all very nice. What do you want?"
"Madara!" I cried. "That's rude!"
"But it's so true," said Felix.
The old monk chuckled. He tilted his head to the side and smiled at us rather airily. "How would you like to dream?"
I paused. "What?"
"A dream, like a whisper, fades and disappears – how would you like an unforgettable dream?"
"I actually remember quite few of my dreams," I said. "I had this one dream once where I was a mermaid and Hannah and Dessie were evil sharks who chased me around the ocean and tried to eat me – that was before I met you guys," I added.
"Maybe this was a premonition of your homosexual love for Kisame," said Madara.
"Wow," I gasped. "I never thought of that."
"Look," said the old man. "Are you coming or not?"
"Sure, sure," I said, stepping away from the rose bush. "Where are we going?"
The old man didn't reply – his mysterious demeanor had mysteriously returned. He turned around and hobbled along the pathway. I glanced at Madara and, with an exchange of shrugs, we followed the old man. He led us through the pristine garden to a stone house between to twisted elm tree. There was no door to the house and it only looked large enough for one room. However, when we stepped inside, there was a staircase that descended into the deep ground. The old man headed down without hesitation, which Madara and I hesitated and then followed.
The staircase was dark and dank, with what I suspected was mould growing on the walls. I don't know how far we walked down for, but the staircase seemed never ending. My sandaled feet slipped and slid along the stairs. At one point, I almost fell onto the old man's back, but Madara caught me at the last second and warned me not to "let my clumsiness break other people's necks".
"I'm not that bad," I muttered.
Madara didn't respond.
"I wonder if this is…" I lowered my voice, "Safe."
"Probably not."
"Curiosity killed the cat."
"And satisfaction brought it back," said Felix.
"Did you come up with that all on your own?" I asked skeptically.
"Yes."
"Wow. Who would have thought Felix was a closet poet."
"I have many talents you don't know about."
My foot missed a step and I stumbled forward. Madara grabbed me by the shoulder again, pulling me upright. He needn't have bothered, since the next step down was the bottom of the staircase, a hall which led to a worn wooden door. The old man led us inside – to a room of gray stone. There was nothing in the room – no shelves, no furniture, no pictures – except for a stone basin in the middle of the room.
As we drew closer, we saw that the basin was filled with a glowing lightning blue liquid. The old man approached without fear while Madara and I instinctively drew back.
"Do not be afraid," said the old man. "It cannot physically harm you."
"We have bad experiences with glowing blue things," said Madara.
"It starts with a W and ends with a argonian," I added helpfully.
The old man glanced at us suspiciously, but simply said, "Draw closer."
Madara had regained his pride and marched up to the basin, while I took a tentative step forward, followed by another and another, until I was standing at the basin's edge, peering in to the swirling lightning blue.
"To dream, you must only touch the essence."
"I would prefer not to." I didn't miss a beat.
"It won't kill you," said the old man.
"That's what you say," I said. "I know plenty of people who have been killed as a result of glowing blue orbs… and glowing orange ones too. Glowing stuff is always suspicious."
The old man rolled his eyes. Then he grabbed my by the back of my neck and shoved my face into the basin.
I opened my mouth to scream – realized I was drowning – realized I could breathe – saw the images flashing before my eyes – Dessie stands over a battlefield, drenched in blood – she throws up her hands and cackles – Deidara kneeling amongst dead body – an explosion of limbs and heads – Deidara wiping blood from his hands – Hannah screaming – Leader lying face down next to the battlefield – Konan standing over his body – Kisame running across the field – hopping over the fallen – Tobi prodding a severed head – Kakuzu crawling on the ground – Hidan pulling a spear out of his throat – Itachi's foot resting on the chest of a dead man – Sasori clutching his ruined puppet – Me – tears running down my grimy face.
My head was yanked out of the basin and I tumbled to the floor. I lay there, in the glow of the blue liquid, gasping for air and running my fingers through my dry hair.
Madara stood over me, his eye scowling.
"What…" I coughed, salt streaming down my face.
"The old man disappeared when I pulled out of the basin," said Madara gruffly.
"Oh." The tears wouldn't stop flowing. I ducked my head and buried it my arms.
"She's crying," said Felix.
"I can see that," said Madara.
"You traitor," I hissed.
"I'm only being honest," said Felix, shrugging.
"What did you see?" asked Madara, helping me to my feet.
I wiped the tears from my eyes and, after some intense sniffles, I wiped away the remnants and Felix said, "A war."
"That's not very specific."
"Our war. With lots of tragedy."
Madara nodded. "Do we win?"
I shook my head. "I don't know. Dessie was… happy. In an evil way."
"Well that's nothing new," said Felix. "Hannah was screaming. Now that's unusual."
"What else?"
"Oh you know, it's war. Deidara was devastated, Konan was miserable – I think Leader was dead." Felix shrugged.
Tears had returned to my eyes again and, this time, there was no stopping them. I cough, once, and the tears were running nonstop. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed and – when I reached out my arms to Madara for comfort – he pushed me away. My tears doubled. I turned my back to him and the basin, sprinting up the stairs and back to the garden. I didn't know where I was running or why. My feet pounded across the garden grass and down the wooden halls of the monastery.
"Ouch!"
I slammed into the shoulder of a monk. He stumbled backwards, glaring at me reproachfully.
"Sorry," I gasped through my tears.
"She's really not," said Felix.
The monk stared at me, eyes wide. "You're… a g–"
I didn't pause to see the rest, but continued sprinting down the hallway. I grabbed a door handle to my right and threw the door open. I scrambled inside and slammed it closed behind me. I stood there, gasping for air and choking on my own mucus.
"Kate?"
The blue of Kisame's face stared at me worriedly.
I threw my arms around his neck and bawled.
"Don't die! Don't die! I don't care how many heads you chop off in the process – don't die!"
"What…?"
"There was this man and he was old and blue and lots of blue and everyone died!"
"Um… Right."
I sobbed onto his bare blue shoulder.
"Kate…"
"Yeah."
Kisame grasped my shoulders and pushed me back. I stepped away and – with sudden horror – I realized he wasn't wearing anything.
I screamed.
Kisame clamped a hand over my mouth. "I'll go put some pants on."
I nodded mutely, trying to look anywhere else but the spot between his legs.
He removed his hand and inched across the room. I turned around and crossed my arms, staring determinedly at the door.
"Whoaza," said Felix. "Did you see the size of that thing."
"Ah! Felix!" I wailed. "Shut up!"
"But… It was blue. Did you see?"
"Yes, yes – I saw."
"Kate," said Kisame. "Who are you talking to?"
"Felix," I called back. "He's being a jerk."
"Oh. He was impressed by the size of it – wasn't he?"
"Shut up."
Kisame laughed. "It's okay. We all know Felix is gay. Just know that I don't want a two guys and one girl threesome."
"Kisame!"
There was heavy knock on the door.
"Who is it?" I asked.
"Zetsu. We heard screaming."
"Oh." I glanced nervously behind me as Kisame pulled a shirt over his head. "Yeah… There was an… incident…"
"What kind of incident?" asked Zetsu. "Did someone die?"
"No… it was a clothesless incident…"
"Oh." Zetsu sounded positively disappointed. "So it's just a sex related thing. Boring."
"Ah!" I cried. "No! It wasn't like that!"
"What? Zetsu?" said Felix, howling with laughter. "As if Kate is capable of that!"
"Shut up!"
A/N: This is, um, a weird chapter. I blame it on being Friday.
Review! Just because I updated two chapters in one day - REVIEW THEM BOTH! Otherwise the old man will come and drown you in a bowl of shiny blue liquid. Dundundun
