Tilly woke around 2pm to her phone vibrating .. She hadn't gone to bed till 10am ..
Rolling over grabbing her phone she grumbled ..
Hello..
Hey tills "
Esther? Hey ..
You ok ? Sound like you been sleeping
Uh yeah .. Yeah I was " Tilly moaned.. I've been on the night shift ..
Oooh sorry" Esther cringed feeling bad ..
Shell I let you go back to sleep?
No .. No it's fine.. Tilly assured her.. I'm awake now .. What's up?
Well I'm in town . Stayed over last night thought we could catch up..
Lunch maybe? Esther offered
Mmmmm" it's more breakfast time for me " Tilly laughed .. Come over if you want?
Ok I'll be half an hour or so then ..
Once Tilly had gotten off the phone she dragged herself into the shower and got dressed ..
Making herself a cup of tea she looks around her flat ..
Her eyes drawn to the painting on the floor .. She had told Sophie she was throwin it out ..
Yet weeks later it was still stood there..
Knowing Esther knew all about hers and Jens connection to the statues she picked it up placing it behind the sofa .. She really could do without any mention of Jen .. That was the beauty of working nights .. She didn't have to lay awake thinking of things ..
Esther was as she said .. And exactly half an hour later the door knocked ..
Hey " Tilly smiled hugging her ex ..
How ya been "?
Esther nodded" yeah .. Yeah I'm good .. You ? She asked sitting on Tilly's couch ..
Me? Uh yeah" Tilly answered making Esther a coffee ..
So nights aye?
Mmmm" Tilly grumbled .. Yeah last night was the last one for 3 weeks .. Thank god ..
So hows things with uh .. Sophie is it ? Esther asked
Yup.. And yeah things are good .. I mean it's early days but you know ?
Tilly shrugged feeling a little weird talking about her love life with an ex
So how come your in Manchester! ? She asked changing the subject
Esther yawned " came with a few mates from work.. Had to attend a fashion shoot here .. Had a few drinks and decided to stay over ..
Oh ok cool" Tilly smiled ..
Mmmm I actually bumped into a friend of yours" Esther announced ..
Oh? Tilly said siping her drink ..
Yeah .. That Sophie's mate..? You know from when we went out that night ... Esther nodded playing a little dumb ..
Kez? Tilly frowned..
Esther squinted her eyes shaking her head ..
Jessie? Tilly shifted in her seat
Jessie .. Esther repeated clicking her fingers .. That's the one .. Jessie ..
She's seems nice ..
Yeah she is"
Esther got up off the couch walking towards the window .. Can't say I agree with her taste in women though
Tilly swallowed the lump in her throat.. Her words fail her ..
How can you be so stupid " Esther spat angrily ..
Jen ? Jen fucking Gilmore .. After all this time ..
Tilly shook her head .. She knew exactly what Esther was getting at ..look I didn't know she was Sophie's house mate when I met her ..
And when you did you should of ran a mile" Esther fumed .. Why would you want her back in your life ..
Oh believe me " i don't " Tilly muttered.. Remembering how nasty Jen had been towards her
So why is she? Esther asked upset .
Look when I met Sophie I had no idea ok .. It wasn't until I went to her house I found out" Tilly explained ..
By then it was to late .. Tilly shrugged ..
What so now your the best of pals? Esther mocked rolling her eyes..
Of coarse not" Tilly sulked .. I'm fact we don't have a nice word to say to one another .
Well why would you after what she did..
Tilly I find it hard to swallow how you can be around the women .. How you would even want to be anywhere near her " Esther ranted ..
Even if you like this Sophie .. Surely the fact she's Jens fricking mate should be enough to know it's can't go anywhere ..
Tilly frowned .. Es ? Jen and I were a very long time ago... I'm not gonna let what happened between us dictate my life .. So she's Sophie's housemate ? So what.. It's not like we hang out..
So you don't care? Esther asked
No... Tilly answered.
I see" Esther shook her head " so if you don't care then why is it a secret.. ?
What!? Tilly worried"
You heard me? If you and Jen are ok with the past why are jessie and Sophie in the dark ? Why is it a secret?
It's not " Tilly lied ..
Esther laughed .. Oh and already it's started ..
What has! Tilly frowned gettin annoyed ..
The lying to your friends .. Just like before .. I know it's a secret Tilly .. I know they have no idea about the pair of you .. And I also know that poor jessie has no idea why her precious girlfriend is no longer a teacher ..
Tilly was confused Her head spinning .. Wait ! How .. I mean ..
Oh didn't I say! ? I had a lovely little drink with them last night .. Jessie was so proud of her girlfriend being a photographer and an art teacher.. Who's on a career break..
Little does she know it's a permanent break" Esther shouted ..
Tilly couldn't believe Esther had spoken to jen.. Her first thought was Jen ok? Her second was " oh great she's gonna be even angrier towards me now " pushing her thoughts to one side Tilly didn't appreciate Esther shouting at her ..
What Jen choses to tell jessie is none of my business .. Nor yours for that matter .. Tilly snaps..
So she doesn't want jessie to know about her past? So what..
And Sophie? Esther asked .. What about her? Doesn't she have the right to know ..
Have you discussed all your exs with your new girlfriend ! ? Tilly asked sarcastically ..
This is different and you know it! Esther fumed ..
Why is it? Tilly frowned .. What is the difference .. Jen wants to move on with her life .. What she decides to share is her business
Why are you defending her? If it was me I'd be letting jessie know exactly what she's letting herself in for .. Esther spat ..
Well that's you .. Tilly muttered..
And I'm not defending her .. I just don't want to dig up old wounds..
Feelings more like " Esther huffed folding her arms..
What ? Tilly sighed
Well .. It's obvious you still have feelings for her ..
Tilly laughed .. Are you serious ..? I don't feel anything for her .. Nothing
Who you trying to convince? Esther asked .. Me or yourself ..
It's a shame .. she probably wouldn't want you now ..what with it all being legal and not so dangerous ..
I think you should leave " Tilly fumed .. Now.. She added pointing to the door .. She didn't like what Esther was insinuating
Why? Truth hurts does it ?..
You have no right to come in here telling me how to live my life .. Tilly shouted .. Telling me what I should and shouldn't do .. Im dating Sophie not Jen .. And she's with jessie
What she does is with her life is her business .. Not ours
No right ? Esther snapped lifting her top to reveal her scar .. No right? I have a permeant reminder of what she done
She ruins peoples lives .. She only thinks of herself ..
Hold up a minute .. Tilly butted in .." You can't blame Jen for what happened to you ..
She didn't force them pills down your throat .. Tilly argued..
No but she saw me! Esther protested.. She was there .. She knew I was desperate .. And she did nothing ..
She did try " Tilly spat." maybe not that night .. But she tried helping you .. over and over again.. She begged you to tell her what was happening
Oh so she's a saint is she?
No .. Tilly said shaking her head .. I never said that .. What I'm saying is it wasn't like she did nothing ..
She left me in the darkness holding a bottle of vodka.. She didn't care ..
We left you .. Tilly interpreted .. Not she ... We... I was there
You didn't see me .. Esther said defending the red head
No.. Tilly folded her arms .. But I knew you were alone .. In the dark .. What did I do?
Yeah cause she lied .. Cause she..Esther stuttered.
Because she nothing Es .. I could of checked on you .. She didn't make me leave you there ..
I left you because I wanted to spend time with her ... Instead of coming to your rescue Iike I should of .. I wanted to go off and have sex .. With her ..
Esther was infuriated at Tilly's revelation..here she was defending the women they were ment to hate ..
No.. She protested ..
Yes Es ... Yes .. Jen isn't to blame . Not fully ..
She's the one who covered it up.. Made you lie..
She didn't make me do anything .. Tilly admitted ..
Esther stood still watching Tilly's body language ..
Your still in love with her ! Esther muttered.. her heart in her mouth
What? No I'm not.. Tilly laughed under her breath ...
You are ... Esther frowned .. That's why your defending her .. That's why your hiding it from everyone ..
It all makes sense now .. Esther realised.. Why you wouldn't press charged against her .. Why you refused to talk to the police ..
Tilly stood silently tears filling her eyes ..
She's the reason you never gave us a chance..
Tilly gasped" how can you say that? I worked damn hard to make us work .. I put as much effort in as I could .. And I didnt end things .. You did .
By now Esther was crying .. You were with me out if guilt Tilly .. You hated yourself for what happened and you felt obliged to be there for me .. You know it and so do I ...
Yeah I ended it... I had to .. I knew you would never love me like you loved her ... Like you love her ..
Your wrong Esther .. Tilly argued.
Esther wiped her eyes" no I'm not.. I could never live up to her .. I could never make you feel the way she did .. I never had a chance to win your heart because she still had it ..
She still has it
You just can't admit it .. Maybe you don't want to admit it ..
Esther grabbed her bag heading for the door ..
Wake up Tilly .. If you can't be honest with yourself how are you ever gonna be honest enough to have someone else in your life? ..
As Esther stormed off Tilly slammed the door shut .. Shit" Muttered kicking the wall..
Tilly stood still for what felt like hours .. She soaked up all Esther had said.. Refusing to belie her words ..
She wasn't in love with Jen anymore .. And there was no way Jen loved her .. She had been so cruel .. So nasty .. She only felt hate towards Tilly ..
Tilly's thoughts flick to Jen .. How angry she Must be about her show down with Esther ..
Tilly she was meeting Sophie later that night and the last thing she wanted was weirdness between her and Jen ..
She had to speak to her before .. Biting her nails she wonders how that would be possible ..
No number for her .. No way of contacting her ..
As her brain ticks over she glances at the paper on the table ..
Bingo .. She says out loud .. Grabbing her jacket and car keys ..
As she drives through town she parks up in the high street.. Entering a huge building ..
Hi" she smiled to the secretly guard that's blocking her way..
I um need to speak to Jen Gilmore if possible ..
Who!? The tall stocky man barked ..
Uh Jen .. Gilmore.. She's a photographer ..Tilly muttered slightly intimidated ..
The man pointed down the stairs .. News room .. Down there on the right ..
Tilly smiled before hurrying down the stairs .. Jesus" muttered..
Once she reached the news room she was taken back at how busy it was .. People rushing around.. Lou's voices .. TVs on .. Phones ringing ..
Can I help you ? A young women smiled ..
Uh yeah.. Hi" Tilly smiled back .. I'm looking for one of your photographers .. Uh Jen? Jen Gilmore?
Ok .. The girl nodded typing away on the computer ..
Uh I'm sorry but Jen isn't about today "
Oh.. Uh does she have the day off ? Tilly asked
No.. No she's out on a job .. She won't be back though ..
Mmmm Tilly scratched her elbow .. Don't suppose you could tell me where ?
The girl shook her head .. I'm sorry .. I'm not allowed ..
Please " Tilly begged .. It's really important .. I really need to see her today ..
The girl at the desk could see Tilly was desperate .. I can't risk losing my job .. But uh. Well if I just so happen to grab a glass of water and say .. Leave this open .. She smiled opening what looked like a huge diary .. " then well that's not exactly telling you is it ?
It isn't no" Tilly grinned ..
As the women moved away Tilly skimmed the book looking for Jens name ..
Jen Gilmore - Clifton country park .. Tots and tiaras..
Once Tilly read it out to herself she looked over at the receptionist ..
Thank you " she mouthed before running up the stairs , past the burly guard and out the door ..
The county park was over run with children overly dressed in huge dresses they could barely walk in ..
It was the place where the finals off little Miss North of England were being held ..
Jen Sighed as she watched a pushy mother apply more make up on her child ..
And they wonder why kids grow up so fast" she moaned to her assistant
Jen? Came a voice behind her ..
Jen froze .. She knew who it was before she even turned around ..
I'm busy " she snapped fiddling with her camera .
I just want 5 minutes ..
Jen felt a little awkward in front of her work colleague.. Who was looking on with curiosity ..
Not now Tilly .. Jen warned walking off..
Tilly had driven across the city she wasn't about to leave with out saying what she came to say ..
Jen look .. We can do it here in front of all these people or you give me 5 minutes .. Tilly said following Jen ..
Jen stopped .. What could you possibly have to say to me?
Tilly stopped still looking at Jen then to her assistant ..
5 minutes.. Please? She nodded towards the intrigued Friend of Jens ..
Jen suddenly remembered where she was ..
Todd.. She called out .. Watch the set .. I'll grab us some coffees ..
Todd gave Jen a salute leaving the two women alone ..
What do you want Tilly ?
Tilly licked her bottom lip placing her hands on her hips .." A little less attitude wouldn't go a miss ..
Jen looked unamused .. If Tilly was trying to be clever Jen didn't appreciate it ..
Tilly rolled her eyes .. Look .. Esther came to my place this's morning .. She told me about last night ..
Jen set off again .. Oh and you thought you'd come down here to gloat ..
What ? No.. Tilly shook her head .. No I wanted to make sure you were ok ..
Jen laughed.. Why!? Why would you give a shit ..
Because " Tilly sighed grabbing Jen to stop her walking ..
Because ? Jen repeated ..
Tilly placed her sun glasses on top of her head.. Because she's wrong Jen .. She wants to blame you for everything that's happened and she can't ..
Look all I want to know is .. Is she going to tell jessie ? Jen asked ..
I don't know" was Tilly's answer . She was to busy telling me what an idiot I am.. And how I should have ran a mile
We at least we agree on one thing .. Jen spat .. Walking off again ..
Hey .. Tilly fumed pulling her back .. I have just spent my afternoon being screamed at and put down by one of my closest friends for you .. The least you can do is be civil ..
What do you want from me Tilly ? Jen cried .. I didn't ask for any of this .. One minute I'm trying to get over you coming back into my life .. The next in comes Esther..
If she thinks she's going to tell jessie and ruin things for me she's wrong.. I'd rather tell her myself ..
I don't think she's going to " Tilly replied .. It's me she's mad at ..
Good" Jen shrugged as she approached the coffee shop..
2 coffees.. White .. No sugars .. She ordered ..
Look I came down her because wanted to say .. I'm sorry Esther behaved the way she did .. Tilly explained..
I'm sorry you have to have constant reminders of your past .. I'm sorry I met Sophie ..And I'm sorry all this is making you unhappy ..
But you know what " I shouldn't have bothered .. She huffed .. As she walked away.
Jen spun around watching Tilly hurry off .. Her mouth open to call out her name but nothing comes out ..
Jen rubs her forehead .. Gritting her teeth... Who was that'? Todd asked as he entered the cafe taking his coffee ..
No One" Jen muttered still watching Tilly until she disappeared ..
She was hot" Todd laughed making Jen roll Jen eyes ..
C'mon let's get back to work " she moaned ..
She kicked herself for not letting Tilly speak .. She never really knew why Tilly had come to see her ..
Jens walls come up at the site of Tilly and nothing nice ever comes out of her mouth ..
She can't help but be horrible to her ..
Wait" Jen thought to herself .. How did she know where To find me?
