The phone in my pocket started ringing. I figured it was one of the girls so I didn't rush answering. I was wrong. I sat down my bottle and answered. "What the hell Ino?" Deidara was more than upset. "Whaaat?" I said playing stupid adding a giggle. "You know what I mean, do you know how worried I have been, we have all been worried. I know you have to get some stuff out of your system." I giggled some more. "Stuff, stud muffin!" I laughed loudly. "How sober are you right now?" I didn't answer, I felt like making flying sounds. "Are you safe?" I answered with a mhm. "Are you coming home soon? I'm so worried about you." A tear fell down. "I want you to know how I'm feeling!" I yelled. I was emotionally unstable. "I would if you ever talked to me!" It was true, but I was too drunk to want to understand. "That's because you don't love me anymore!" Would I ever stop? "Ino, I've said this so many times…" He was tired. I could understand. "I have to go." I said silently. "No, please! Wait!" He yelled out. I closed the phone dropping it on the floor.
I love him.
He loved me?
Why I couldn't understand that he loved me I didn't know. Maybe just because I loved him. He deserved better. I wasn't any good for him. We were all better off if I was dead.
I lay down on a bed. I was sad. I wanted Deidara, but I couldn't have Deidara. I found my phone again and wrote a text message. I had to think a long time before sending it.
"I think we should end things off."
The biggest question was if he was going to agree on it, if he would call it one of my fits.
Fuck him.
I sent the message.
I didn't care anymore.
I wasn't good for him.
I was doing him a favor.
I fell asleep.
"Ino?" It was Laura of everybody. She sat down on the bed. "I didn't know you…" She didn't continue. I had been crying in my sleep. It was wet under my face. I wonder what she knew. I hadn't told anyone anything. My head hurted. I wished I was still asleep. "Who did you…?" She looked pale, I could see that much with my blurry vision. "How could you?" I had no idea what she was talking about. "I don't understand what you're talking about." She looked me into the eyes. "How could you kill someone?"
I must have been talking in my sleep.
"I…" I started. Didn't know what to continue with, lie or the truth? She waited, not sure of what to do. "I killed my children." She looked to calm down, she even let out a little laugh. "Who knew that queen ice would have a break down after something as silly as an abortion?" I started crying. "I went into premature labor." Her laughter died. I think she first now found out how much I had changed. Why I had cut them off. She was now willing to give me my hug. I need it more now than I did then.
