" The Lord is my light and my salvation," sang Diana, who was cantor for the Saturday evening Mass.
She signaled those in the pews, who then sang the response of the responsorial psalm. Beth felt such comfort. She didn't realize her friend had a beautiful voice.
The homily was on the Gospel reading, with a strong theme of mercy. Beth tried to pay attention to the words being said. She couldn't stop thinking of the words said to her earlier in confession, " It's not a sin to have a mental illness." She felt so guilty for the things she had said to her parents when she was in the hospital,bits of conversation came to her.
I really feel terrible, Lord. I need to receive you now,thought Beth.
As soon as she saw that Diana would be giving her the Eucharist, she had a smile on her face. She must know how it be, struggling in life and receiving Jesus in the Eucharist.
After Mass,Beth saw her small group leader, Julie. She gave her a shy smile.
" Hi Beth, would you like a hug?"
" Yes, please."
" Will we be seeing you again in our small group soon?"
" Yes, but I want to disclose something to you. With less people around."
" Let's head to where we meet, then?" They then went to the meeting room.
" I'm telling you this,because you are a psychologist. I know you'll keep this between us. I had a relapse of Psychosis. I have Schizophrenia. Don't tell anyone in group the details." Beth was staring at the ground .
" Beth,can you look at me? This will stay confidential. I'm glad you felt comfortable telling me. If there is anything I can do, let me know, ok?"
" I will, thank you." Beth gave Julie another smile.
They then ran into Diana and William who were talking to Beth's parents.
" Hi Diana. Will I see you Wednesday?,"asked the group leader.
" Yes, have you met Julie Shea,Beth's mother?"
"Professionally, I think. You gave a presentation on mental health in college students, last year. I'm Julie Brown, a professor of Psychology the at University of Nevada, here in Vegas."
" Nice to meet you, this is my husband,Jack," replied Beth's mom.
" Diana, you have a beautiful voice," said Beth.
" Thank you,Beth," Diana replied.
" Wait, did you sing with me this past week? I think you did." Beth remembered now, hearing singing when she was still not sure what was reality.
" I did."
" Thank you."
" You are very welcome. We can sing together again if you'd like."
" When I feel up to it. I'm tired now."
" Of course. I'll see you later, Beth."
William extended his hand. " I don't think we've been properly introduced. I'm William."
" Nice to meet,officially. You seem like a wonderful person. You were with Diana that night, weren't you?"
" I was."
" That wasn't how I want you to remember me."
" Beth, Diana has told me a lot about you, wonderful things, ever since she went to your 21st birthday party. I'll remember the positive things, not symptoms."
" Good."
After introductions were made,they went their separate ways. Beth was ready for pizza at her parent's house and some light tv,while Diana wanted nothing more than a quiet family dinner, a Shirley Temple,quality family time and a game of Trivial Pursuit.
Everyone had a pleasant, relaxing evening. The science category was Diana's downfall in Trivial Pursuit . It was a long game, but the 7 year old genius beat his mother, with his scientifically minded brain. However, Diana surprised everyone that night with her Jenga skills.
Beth was able to unwind from her busy evening and finally fall asleep relaxed, but not until the frustrating anxiety and restlessness passed.
