53. Well, That Could Have Gone Better…

My heart sped a little faster with ever foot closer to Leah that we crossed. She sat focusing her gaze on the fire trying not to look at the rest of the festivities around her. I was instantly struck by how incredibly beautiful she was. Her pictures never came close to doing her justice. Her long black hair hung straight and soft like silk down past her bottom. My mouth dropped open as we got close enough to really see the full detail of her beauty. She totally could have been a model for suntan lotion with the dark complexion of her face accentuated by high cheekbones and a small perfectly straight nose that was proportioned perfectly with her large almond shaped eyes. Her beauty was only slightly marred by the cynicism that lurked behind her beautiful eyes and caused her full perfect lips to turn down in the corners in what I suspected was a nearly perpetual glower. As we approached she looked up and her gaze focused on our hands for a second before turning to my face. I recognized the emotions burning behind her eyes, I had felt them myself many times when inundated with the sight of my overly affectionate family members, it was unmistakably a mixture of envy and frustration and a touch of something I wasn't sure of too…perhaps mistrust.

"I take it you're Lina." She sneered curtly.

"Yes, it's nice to meet you Leah." I saw Jake and Nessie appear behind her in the shadows and I relaxed a little with the additional moral support as I reached out my hand to greet her. My relaxation was short lived however when my gesture was rebuffed as she turned back to the fire. I slowly pulled my hand back to my side as I felt Seth's grip stiffen on my hand defensively. I squeezed back and sent him a look telling him it was okay and then I let go and went to sit on the far end of the bench that she was inhabiting and stared into the fire with her. Seth stood behind me a moment until I motioned for him to go stand next to Jake and Nessie. He hesitated and then made his way over to them and sat next to them on a downed tree trunk.

We sat there in the quiet for a long time. I wasn't sure what to say. I just stared at the fire and prayed I would find the right words that wouldn't tick her off. Finally I sighed and just started saying what was on my heart.

"Okay Leah, I really don't know what to say here. I'd like to get to know you better, but if you don't want that then that's okay. I just want you to know that I love your brother, with all of my heart. He is the single greatest thing that has ever happened to me and I want to make him happy. He loves you so much and you are so important to him and that makes you important to me. It doesn't have to be today or tomorrow or anytime soon, but I hope that someday we can learn to be friends. He's told me a little bit about what all you have been through," when I said this her head snapped at me and fire much hotter than the bonfire burned in her eyes, I stammered a second and continued. "I can't imagine how hard it has all been for you and it breaks my heart." Tears began to flow from my eyes as I once again imagined what life must be like for her, "I hope that someday you can find the answers you are looking for, but until then I hope you can learn to put aside your frustrations with the universe in order to allow me to be a part of your life through your brother."

Her eyes squinted at me a few times as the anger inside her burned under the surface of her face. I could almost see the venom filling the words inside her head as she formulated her response. She finally opened her mouth and spit out at me the response she was building, "You don't know anything about me Suzie Sunshine. You think everything's all happiness and hormones in your perfect little existence with your lousy bloodsucker family. My brother might be able to look past the way you were raised, but don't make the mistake to think that I ever will." She stopped for a second and glanced over my shoulder to look at Seth and her expression softened ever so slightly as she narrowed her eyes looking back at me, "Okay, I'll admit that you make my brother happy, happier than I've ever seen him in fact, but you're both living in some little fantasy world. You love your family and he loves his and when it all comes down to it, our families just don't mix well. You're going to choose to live your happy little life with your bloodsuckers and he's going to happily follow you wherever you want to go because you're his imprint and just like Jake he'll forsake us all for you."

I sat with my mouth hanging open and tears stinging my eyes. Everything I had feared that he was giving up and choosing, Leah was confirming in one short speech. "I…I don't." I sputtered trying to deny her accusations.

"Oh don't even try to act all innocent and deny it cupcake. You're already doing it. You're sitting here all high and mighty telling me that you're part of my brother's life basically whether I like it or not and you hope that we can be friends." She said raising her voice mockingly. "Well, I'll tell you right now, you and me…we will never be friends so just forget about it. I hate you! I hate all of you, but I hate you the most for taking away the last thing that I have in this life!"

I was sobbing trying to think of something to say, something to soothe the hate she had for me for stealing her brother from her, something to anesthetize the pain of so many years of rejection that she felt that she was now directing all on me. Suddenly I felt Seth's arms around me shielding me from her as he protectively growled at his sister.

"Was that really necessary!" He barked defensively.

The fire burned brighter in Leah's eyes as I looked up at her helplessly. "Seth, stop…It's okay. She has a right to her feelings. She has good reason to hate me." I whispered to him with my eyes locked on hers. This only infuriated her more.

"Fine choose this weak pathetic vampire wannabe over your family Seth! She'll only leave you sad and alone!" She yelled as she stormed off into the forest bursting into a mass of fur just before she was completely behind the tree line. Jake took off right behind her.

I turned my face into Seth's chest sobbing as he stroked my hair apologizing over and over for what his sister had said. I tried to hear him, but her words kept repeating in my head over and over, "you're both living in some little fantasy world…just like Jake he'll forsake us all for you….I hate you the most for taking away the last thing that I have in this life!" Finally I sniffed and looked up at him in a panic. "What are you still doing here? You need to go after her? Talk to her! She needs you Seth!"

"But you need me more. Leah's going to be Leah, talking to her won't change 17 years of anger. What she said hurt you, I want to be here for you."

This time the fire burned in my eyes as I realized that there really was truth in what she was saying. "No Seth. I NEED you to go take care of your sister. I'm a big girl. Sticks and stones and all that, but being rebuffed by your brother is the worst pain of all." I reached up and touched his cheek the fire fading and quickly replaced with love, "Please, baby. Go talk to Leah. I'll be fine…and don't let Jake yell at her either."

"Are you sure?" He asked running his fingers down my cheek before glancing back toward the forest.

I leaned up and kissed his lips, "Absolutely." He kissed me one last time and then turned to run for the forest beginning to strip his outer layers of clothing just as he hit the tree line.

I turned to look into the fire as I felt a gentle arm wrap around me. I recognized instantly from the scent that it was Nessie. She pulled my head to her shoulder and stroked my cheek as she showed me images of the past. Her own encounters with Leah, the reasons that Leah felt the way she did.

"I don't hate her Ness. I really don't need to see more reasons to feel sorry for her. I actually do understand. The thing that hurts most is that I know she's right."

"No, she's not." Ness showed me more images, images of Leah's mother, of her friendships with girls at work, of her going into the city for nights out with her friends.

"That may be Ness, but Charlie is there in her relationship with her Mom changing things and work friends will never be able to replace the life she had with her family…her family before vampires walked in and shuffled the cards of her fate into an unrecognizable jumble of loss. Of all the people who ever had a reason to hate vampires and anyone involved with them, it would be Leah."

A little while later Sue came over and put her arm around my shoulder apologizing for Leah as she led me toward the house to warm up inside and wash my face. I told her that I understood why Leah was upset and she wasn't entirely wrong. "Nonsense Lina. You know Seth has been through just as much as Leah has. He's been alone all this time just like she has. Granted he didn't have the whole Sam aspect of the situation, but besides that he's suffered just as much as she has and he deserves to finally be happy. I am so glad that he found his mate in such a sweet girl as you. I will be proud to someday call you my daughter." She said kissing my hair as we walked in the back door of the house and through the living room.

Nessie followed us in silence as Sue led me upstairs to the bathroom and showed me which room Seth and I would be staying in tonight. My eyebrows shot up reflexively when she said 'the room you and Seth will be sleeping in' and she smiled, "Dear, you're his imprint, like I could bear to torture him by making him sleep on the couch. I know you'll both be respectful of our home." I nodded and she left Ness and I alone in the room that would be mine to share with Seth for the rest of the trip.

Nessie sat with me for a while brushing my hair and helping me put away my clothes so that the wrinkles would fall out. Occasionally one of the pack boys or their wives would wander upstairs to check on me assuring me that Leah was wrong and that she'd come around eventually. Each one of them was full of such genuine concern and compassion that I found it hard not to believe them at least a little. After a while I finally told Nessie that I was tired and ready for bed. I got ready in peace as the last of the party noises died down outside and quietly crawled into the bed. In the quiet of the night the memory of the things Leah said came back with a vengeance and my silent tears returned to my eyes and drenched my pillow as I cried myself to sleep.

I wasn't sure what time it was when I felt Seth crawl into bed behind me and cuddle up to my back wrapping his arm around my waist and placing gentle kisses on my shoulder. The queen size guest bed was far more comfortable than his tiny full size one had been and we were both able to stretch out comfortably next to one another. I let him place a few more kisses on my shoulder before I rolled over to face him wrapping my arm around his rib cage and burying my face in his neck as the tears involuntarily began to pool at the corners of my eyes. I took a deep stabilizing breath, but my trembling arms and gave me away. Seth pulled my face back and kissed my tears humming a tune and stroking my hair with his free hand.

After a few minutes I regained my composure and pulled back to look him in the face. Even in the dim moonlight I could still see the exhaustion on his face and that his face was also damp. Suddenly no longer worried about my own feelings I reached up and wiped the tears away with my fingers and caressed his face with my palm. "What happened sweetheart?" I asked as I sat up leaning against the headboard.

He shrugged pulling himself up next to me and hugging me to his chest, "We finally caught up to her. It was hard because she's a lot faster than all the rest of us. She had run until she just couldn't anymore and collapsed. I think we were all the way into Canada when she finally stopped. She's really hurting, but it really doesn't have anything to do with you personally, just more what you represent. If it's any consolation you gained some major respect points with her for sending me to find her. But in a way it also made it worse…that you had to practically order me to follow her. I don't think there will be any easy answers with all of this. I do think she's sorry for being quite so mean to you, she actually had managed to avoid phasing the past few months and she really hadn't caught much more beyond the infatuation phase with us. She really didn't know all the much about you yet besides the few things that had filtered though via Jake over the years. Anyway, if you happen to bump into her again before we leave you might end up getting an apology, but I don't think she's planning on seeing you again if she can help it."

"That's okay. Like I told her, we have time and hopefully someday things will change, but it needs to happen at a pace that she can handle."

I heard him let out a sigh as he squeezed me tighter and stroked my hair with his large warm hand. He kissed the top of my head as he whispered again how amazing I was and then he reached down and turned my face up toward his as he reached down and placed a long soft kiss on my lips. We teased back and forth for a little bit with our tongues before exhaustion took over and we slid back down under the covers with my head still snuggled to his chest and drifted off into silent slumber.

That night I dreamed of children, lots of children, running and playing in a playground. All of them with the unique skin tones of the kids I had seen today. I recognized a few faces amongst the crowd playing around me. In the small sandbox the five youngest pack babies played happily with sand toys, as Brady's twins took turns dumping buckets over one another's heads. On the swings Sadie Uley pushed her little brother Evan happily as he yelled for her to push higher. In the next swing Jacob's niece Becky was trying to get her little brother Jack to stop crying and let her see his skinned knee. Isaiah, Olivia, and Uriah Call were playing chase nearby with Jared's middle and youngest kids Katie, and Kevin. Behind them standing against the fence Levi Uley, Jared's oldest son Kyle, and Jacob's oldest nephew Will all stared behind me with angry looks as they shook uncontrollably, fighting the urge to phase. I turned quickly to see a sea of black cresting the hill on the horizon heading for the playground where the pack children played. I turned to yell for them to run, to go find a place to hide, but they couldn't hear me. I could see their parents standing behind them looking on in horror at what was heading for their children, but the black mass was coming too quickly, there was no way to get them away in time. I ran to grab little Violet and run, but just before I could reach her a cold hand grabbed me from behind yanking me off my feet and sending me sailing into the sea of dark cloaks.

I woke up screaming thrashing in the bed as Seth sat next to me trying desperately to calm me down. Suddenly the door flew open and Jake and Nessie were standing next to the bed behind Seth, Charlie and Sue followed shortly. Suddenly I snapped out of it realizing I was in the safety of Sue and Charlie's spare bedroom. I burst into tears and collapsed into Seth's chest sobbing so hard I was on the verge of hyperventilating. Seth rubbed my back and hair trying desperately to calm me so I could tell him what was wrong. Finally Nessie sat next to me and placed her hand on my arm showing me scenes of safety and calm and I was finally able to stop crying and calm down. They all sat on the bed and listened as I retold my nightmare. Jake, Nessie, and Seth all stared at me wide eyed, as their understanding of what I was describing was far more a reality to them than for Sue and Charlie. When I was done Sue and Charlie nodded and patted me on the shoulder before leaving the room satisfied it was just a nightmare. The other three sat with me in silence knowing that this was not the first dream of this type I had ever experienced and that there was always the possibility that it was more than simply a dream. Jake and Ness finally left us to get ready and I slowly turned to Seth.

"Are Kyle and Will phasing now too?"

Seth looked at me and nodded silently as he reached out and pulled me to his chest with a sigh. "Whatever happens, whenever it happens, we'll face it together."

I hugged him tighter and leaned up to kiss his mouth before finally forcing myself to get up and go get cleaned up for the day.


Disclaimer: The Twilight Series and all original characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer.

I decided it might help you guys out to have an index of the families to help when you read chapters 52 and 53. I also posted it on my profile.

Wolf Pack Family Index:

Pack Member…..Spouse/Imprint……Children and ages

Sam…………….Emily………………Levi 14, Sadie 10, Evan 7

Jared……………Kim……………….Kyle 13, Katie 11, Kevin 8

Paul…………….Rachel (Jake's sis)…Will 12, Becky 9, Jack 5 (Named after Rachels dad, sis, and bro)

Embry………….Andrea……………..Isaiah 10, Olivia 6, Uriah 4 (My stupid little joke...it's all the vowels A,E,I,O,and U)

Jacob …………..Nessie

Quil…………….Claire………………(Expecting due in 3 months)

Leah

Seth……………..Lina

Brady…………...Chloe………………Brandon, Brooklyn (3 y/o twins), Bailey1

Collin……………Lily………………...Daisy 2, Violet 6 months