Happy New Year everyone. Here's hoping 2019 is better than 2018.


I'm up before the sun after a fitful night's sleep. I thought the anxiety churning in my gut would dissipate once Tobias and I made love but after he fell asleep, my overactive imagination started working double-time, leaving me wondering what horrors today would bring. I can't help but think the emergency meeting has something to do with my family since none of us were given specifics of what it's about. Maybe I'm overthinking this but the fact that Dad, Caleb, and I were given absolutely no details is making me extremely paranoid. If I knew Summer Miller or Sofia Rengard, Amity and Candor's representatives, phone numbers I would have called to ask if they were given the same message but, unfortunately, all I have is their email addresses.

I step into the shower and adjust the temperature to as hot as I can stand. I let the multiple powerful body sprays massage my tired, achy muscles for about five minutes then turn the temperature down to a more appropriate level for the babies. I'm lathering up head to toe when I feel a cool breeze wafts over me. I can't help the smile that turns up my lips. Tobias steps up behind me, and the feel of his hard, wet, naked body against mine sets my heart to racing and my breath catches in my throat.

"Morning, love," he murmurs against my neck, his voice thick with sleep. He wraps his arms around my waist and hugs me tight.

"Good morning, baby." I wrap my arms around his and tilt my head back, meeting his mouth for a soft, sweet kiss.

"What are you doing up so early?" he asks. He yawns widely as he lets me go. He reaches for his body wash and a washcloth.

"I have to leave soon for Abnegation," I say.

"Shit," he mutters under his breath, barely audible. "I forgot about that." He pours a generous amount of soap on the cloth and squeezes it until it foams.

"I wish I could," I softly murmur. "What are you doing up?" I watch as his hand slowly trails the thick, rich lather across his chiseled chest then down to his hard abs. I think he's doing it on purpose, putting on a little show. I try to tamp down the desire and lick my parched lips.

"The bed just wasn't the same without you in it," he says. "When I woke up, I thought maybe we could have a little replay of last night. I was disappointed when your sheets were cold. I knew that meant you weren't coming back."

"If it was any other morning, I'd love a replay," I sigh, thinking of how good it felt having him inside me, loving me. That would be a nice distraction. I take the washcloth from him and motion him to spin. He turns his back to me, and my hand stills midair when I see long scratches crisscrossing his back.

"Something wrong?" he asks, looking down at me over his shoulder.

"I scratched you," I say, somewhat embarrassed. Since I was on top most of the night, I'm not entirely sure how I did that. I run my fingers over the deep scratches then lean forward and gently kiss them one at a time. "Do they hurt?"

"No," he says, turning to face me. "Didn't even know they were there until you pointed them out."

"I'm sorry."

"What for? Being passionate? Making love to your husband? You have nothing to be sorry for."

"You know if the roles were reversed and I had that many scratches on my back you would be berating yourself right now," I say. He's silent for a moment.

"You're right, I would," he says, "which I can see is totally stupid."

"Oh! Progress!" I say with a giggle. I run my hand up his chest and around his neck then pull his mouth to mine and kiss him softly, dropping the washcloth at our feet.

"I love you, Mrs. Eaton," he whispers against my lips.

"I love you, too." I suck on his bottom lip then nibble it lightly before plunging my tongue deep into his mouth. His hands freely roam my body before landing on my backside. He pulls me close and I moan into his open mouth when I feel his hardening length between us. I snake a hand down and wrap my fist around his large erection causing him to growl.

"Mama! Dadda!" Teagan calls out. We both freeze.

"Give us just a minute, Teags," Tobias hollers, his voice breaking at the end, as we untangle our arms.

"How did she get in here?" I whisper.

"I never thought to close our bedroom door," he says.

"Mama!" Teagan cries at the top of her lungs.

"What is it, baby girl?" I ask as I stick my head out into the cool morning air, thick pools of steam escaping around me. "Are you okay?"

"No feel good," she whines, her hands on her tummy. "Need med-sin."

"Okay, I'll get you some medicine in just a minute," I say. "Can you go wait on Mommy and Daddy's bed for me?" Her bottom lip juts out and starts trembling. Her eyes well up. "Please? I'll just be a couple minutes." She bursts into tears. An expletive spontaneously rolls off my tongue and I grimace. We try not to curse in front of the kids. I quickly grab a towel off the rack and wrap it around my hair and retrieve my robe off the hook. After slipping it on, I step out of the shower and pick up my sobbing daughter. "What's wrong, Peanut, huh?" A long line of mumbling gibberish comes from her mouth, and I have absolutely no idea what she's saying. "Can you please calm down and take a breath for Mommy? I can't understand you when you're this upset." The shower turns off and Tobias sticks his arm out to retrieves his towel.

"What's wrong?" he asks her as he steps up beside us. He runs his large hand down her face, and it makes her look even smaller than she actually is. "You don't feel well, do you?" She shakes her head and cries even harder.

"Okay, let's go get you some medicine," I say. We make our way down to the kitchen, and I make a mental note to get another bottle for upstairs. I sit her on the island after getting the small bottle of grape-flavored liquid and the medicine dropper. She takes it with no fuss.

"Rock, Mama?" she sleepily asks.

"You want Mommy to rock you?" She nods. "Okay. We can do that." I pick her up, and she immediately rests her head on my shoulder. I carry her upstairs and back into my bedroom. I sit down in the rocking chair and Teagan sighs. "I'm so sorry you're not feeling well. I'd take it away if I could." I kiss her cheek, frown, then press my lips to her forehead. She has a fever. Ugh! I hate leaving my kids when they're sick. I momentarily wonder if I could send someone in my place but since I'm the council member of record for Dauntless, my absence probably wouldn't go over very well.

"Do you want me to take her?" Tobias asks. He's fully dressed and ready for the day. I once again glance at the clock and know that I have to leave within the hour to make it to Abnegation on time.

"Please," I whisper. I've been rocking my baby girl for about 15 minutes and know she's out like a light. I lift her just enough for him to get his hands under her, and he soon has her cradled against his chest like he did when she was a newborn.

"I'll put her back in bed," he says. "She's definitely out for the time being." I nod in agreement then go to the closet and pick out an appropriate outfit for the council meeting. Once I'm dressed, I tackle my hair. It nearly dried in the towel and everything I try to do makes it look even worse. I finally give up with a sigh and bend over the bath and use the hand wand to wet it again. After drying it, I use all the tricks Christina showed me over the past three years to style it into soft curls that hang down my back then I apply my natural-looking makeup. "You're gorgeous, you know that. You really don't need the makeup." I startle at my husband's gravelly voice but I can't help but smile at the compliment.

"You're just saying that."

"No." He moves up behind me and turns me to face him. He cups my face with his strong, large hands. "You get more beautiful each and every day." He lowers his mouth to mine and kisses me reverentially. Not only do I love everything about him but I love the way he makes me feel about myself.

"I'm sorry we got interrupted," I murmur against his lips.

"Me, too. I guess I should have closed the bedroom door but it wasn't my plan to seduce my wife this morning," he says, his fingertips grazing my bare arms. "How about I make you some breakfast before you have to leave?"

"That sounds wonderful," I say. "I'm starving." I take his hand and follow him downstairs and into the kitchen. I set the table while he makes us crispy bacon, fluffy eggs, and lightly buttered toast. "Did you have a good night?"

"Slept like a baby," he says.

"Wish I did," I murmur before taking a bite of the perfectly scrambled eggs he just sat in front of me.

"You had a bad night?" he asks as his fork stalls in front of his mouth. "Why?"

"My mind was running all night," I say. "I couldn't shut it down."

"What's the problem?" he asks, setting the fork down on the side of the plate and looking at me intently. "Are you feeling okay?"

"It's not that. It's this damn meeting," I say with a groan. "I can't help but wonder if it has something to do with us."

"I can't see how that would be possible," he says, calm reason to my chaotic insanity. He picks his fork up and resumes eating.

"I know I sound paranoid, Tobias, but I just can't shake this bad feeling like I'm being led to the guillotine somehow," I say.

"That sounds a bit dramatic," he says.

"Well, you know me."

"Yes, I do," he says. He reaches out and covers my hand with his. He gently strokes his thumb back and forth, comfortingly. "How long have you been stressing?"

"Since you told me about it," I murmur.

"Love." He sounds disappointed, which I hate.

"After you fell asleep, the meeting popped into my head," I say a little defensively. "Once I started thinking about it, I couldn't stop."

"You should have woken me," he says. "We could have talked it through, and then we both could have had a good night's sleep."

"I didn't want to wake you," I say, sliding my hand from under his then pushing my empty plate away. "No need for us both to be wide awake and stressed."

"We're a team, Tris. I'm always here for you," he says, gazing lovingly into my eyes. "You don't ever have to face anything alone." I get up and sit down on his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck as his circle my waist.

"What would I do without you?"

"You know you'll never find out," he gruffly says.

"I have to go soon." I glance toward the clock and groan. "I can't be late. That wouldn't look good for Dauntless." We both sigh as our mouths meet for a deep, open-mouthed kiss. Our tongues tangle and our teeth clash. Soft snickering cause us to part, and we look toward the sound of the laughter. Tyler and Tessa are standing at the bottom of the stairs. She's grinning from ear to ear but he's wearing a huge frown. How in the world did I not hear them come down.

"Good morning, you two," Tobias says.

"Do you really have to go, Mommy?" Tyler asks, his bottom lip sticking out a mile, ignoring his father's greeting.

"Yes, I do," I say, getting off of Tobias' lap. I sit back down at my spot and beckon them forward. "Come here. Both of you." They take the few steps separating us, and I help them onto my lap. This definitely isn't going to be happening much longer. The babies must have had a grown spurt overnight because this didn't seem this difficult just yesterday. I hug them both tightly and kiss their heads. They return the affection eagerly. "I'll be home as soon as I can but until then, Bridget is coming to look after you guys. They both groan.

"I don't want you to go," Tyler whines and then he starts coughing. I look toward Tobias and see that he's already getting up to get their medicine.

"Tyler, buddy, you know I have to go," I say. "I may not want to, especially since you and your sisters aren't feeling well, but this meeting is important. It's my job."

"Can we go with you?" he asks.

"Yeah," Tessa interjects, apparently not wanting to be left out of the conversation.

"You can leave us at Grandma and Grandpa's," he adds sounding so hopeful.

"Oh! Gamma and Gampa!" You'd think she hasn't seen her grandparents in years instead of just days.

"As nice as that would be, Grandpa will be at the same meeting I'm at, and I'm sure Grandma will be very busy today," I say. "Plus, we don't want to make them sick now, do we?"

"It's not fair," he pouts.

"Sometimes life isn't fair," I say.

"Can you quit your job?" he asks, tears brimming his eyes.

"Did you just ask your mother to quit her job?" Tobias asks as he steps up in front of us, medicine in hand. Tyler nods sheepishly.

"Tyler, honey, that's not going to happen," I softly say.

"Open up," Tobias says to Tessa and she takes her medicine.

"What about you, Daddy? Can you stay home with us today? Just until Mommy gets home. Please!" My husband kneels down in front of us so that he is eye level with our whiny son.

"What's up with you today, Tyler?" he asks after getting him to take his medicine.

"I don't want you to go," Tyler nearly cries.

"Mommy and Daddy both have to go to work just like every other day," he says.

"Don't you love us no more?" Tyler asks, his bottom lip protruding pathetically and the tears finally spilling.

"Tyler Aaron," I blurt but Tobias calmly interrupts.

"Buddy, your mom and I love you and your sisters more than you'll ever know," he says, cupping his face with a single hand and whisking tears away with his thumb, "but this is one lesson you've got to learn, you can't always get your way. Mommy has to go to Abnegation for a very important meeting. If she didn't have that meeting today, she would stay home with you, Tessa, and Teags since you're all not feeling well. You know she would. And I have a lot of things to do with initiation today that I can't put off. I'm just too busy to stay home. I'm sorry but just because we have to work doesn't mean we don't love you." I hate breaking my kids' hearts this way. I know they're just being whiny and clingy because they aren't feeling well.

"I'll be home as soon as I can," I say as I drop a kiss on Tyler's head and then Tessa's.

"You promise?" Tyler pleads.

"Pwomise?" Tessa apes beseechingly.

"I promise," I say. I look toward the clock and sigh heavily Now I really don't want to go to this meeting. "Tessa," I kiss her head, "Tyler," I kiss his, "you be good for Daddy until Bridget gets here and then be good for her." I hug them each tightly for a beat then set them on their feet then get to mine. "Do you two want to watch some cartoons?"

"Nemo, Tess?" It warms my heart when I see them getting along. They fight too often.

"Yeah," she says.

"That's a good choice," I say. "Come on." I put on one of their favorite movies, get them settled onto the couch, then say goodbye again before slipping out the door.

"Hey," Tobias says as he steps into the hallway. "I think you forgot something." I furrowed my brows, and he points at his lips.

"How could have I forgotten that?" I say with a smile. I step back up to him and pull his mouth to mine and give him a thorough, passionate kiss.

"You better go before we get in trouble for public indecency," he growls, running his hands over my bottom and giving it a playful squeeze. "I love you, Tris. Have a good day. I'll see you later."

"I love you, too, Tobias," I pant. I caress his stubbled cheek for a moment, letting my heart rate slow and give him a soft smile. "I'll call you when I get back." I glance at my watch. "Damn, I've really got to go." I give him another quick kiss then turn and disappear down the stairs, feeling his gaze on me the entire way.

Within minutes I'm behind the wheel of one of Dauntless' sleek, black sedans on the way to Abnegation. I reach out and turn the air conditioning to arctic blast. I can't believe how hot it is, and it's not even 6:30 in the morning yet. The heavy, humid air is making it very hard to breathe or maybe it's just my nerves. I'm practically jumping up and down in my seat as I navigate through the factionless portion of town, wondering what this damn meeting is about.

When two young men step off the curb in front of me, I slam on my brakes. My heart leaps into my throat at the thought of hurting someone just because I'm driving while distracted. I lower my window and wave at the pair, giving them an I'm sorry as I pass. I think they respond, although not too nicely, but it was hard to tell because I rolled the window back up to block the stifling heat.

With about 10 minutes to spare, I pull into the small parking lot by Abnegation's headquarters and search for an available spot. I can't believe it's so full this morning. I feel slightly awkward walking toward the nondescript building empty-handed but since I wasn't given instructions to bring certain files there isn't anything I can do about that.

"Good morning, Beatrice," my dad says, pulling me out of my head. He's waiting for me just outside the door, a look of worry on his face, which in turn makes me fret even more. He surprises me by pulling me in for a hug. This is very un-Abnegation of him.

"Hi, Dad," I say, patting his back.

"Look at you," he says, holding me at arm's length, his eyes on my growing abdomen. "You are absolutely glowing."

"And getting bigger by the day," I chuckle. I momentarily forget my worries while running a hand over my bump. "Just this morning I was thinking I wouldn't be able to have the kids sit on my lap for much longer. My belly is growing so fast."

"I'm sure they'll understand," he says as he releases me.

"I sure hope so," I sigh. "They've been very clingy lately."

"I'm sure it's just a phase. You and Caleb went through something similar when you were toddlers," he says. "How are the girls feeling this morning? Four mentioned they were sick when we spoke last night."

"Ugh! Now all three of them are sick," I say, shaking my head. "I was hoping to keep Tyler from getting it by sending him to daycare while Four was at work and keeping him isolated at night but he came down with it anyway. He really didn't want me to leave this morning. For a split second, I thought about sending someone in my place but I knew duty called. He wasn't having it, though. He wanted to come along and go to your house. Tessa was onboard with that plan. When I told him no then he decided I should quit my job."

"Oh, that boy," Dad chuckles, shaking his head. "I hope they get to feeling better – for all your sakes."

"Yeah, me, too." I let out a huge sigh. "Thanks, Dad."

"Dad, Tris." I look over my shoulder and find Caleb coming our way. "Wow! Look at you. It hasn't been that long since I saw you. You're bigger than Cara."

"How is she feeling?" I ask feeling like a bad sister for not keeping in touch about her pregnancy.

"She's been doing better than she was," he says. "She's still having morning sickness but it doesn't seem to be as bad as before. How are you doing?"

"I still get sick from time to time but nothing like it was," I say. "I'm well into my second trimester so I'd like to hope that the morning sickness totally stops one of these days but I'm not holding my breath. This pregnancy is so different from the last one."

"So, what's this meeting about?" Caleb asks, turning towards Dad.

"I'm not at liberty to say." I raise my brows at him as Caleb's face twists.

"Why can't you say?" I ask. "You told Four you didn't know anything. Did you lie?"

"It's best we not get into that here," he says, looking all around us. "It will all be revealed soon enough."

"I feel like something big is going to happen, and I'm being kept out of the loop," Caleb grumbles.

I hit my brother on the shoulder and say, "Thank you! Glad to know I'm not the only paranoid one in the family."

"You think I'm being paranoid?" he asks, sounding completely paranoid.

"That's not what I meant," I say, trying to placate my brother by patting his arm. "But I think something is definitely going on that either directly or indirectly impacts us … personally."

"Now who's sounding paranoid," Caleb mutters.

"You two stop it," Dad grouses but he doesn't confirm or deny our suspicions.

"Andrew, it's time," Matthew Williams says, sticking his head out the door.

"Okay," he says. "We'll be right in." When the door closes with a squeak, Dad turns to me. "Beatrice, call Four. You're going to need him."

"What?"

"Call him. Get him here now." He swiftly turns and heads into the building, leaving Caleb and me staring at his vacant spot.