A/N- I'm not sure how well this will measure up to your expectations of a drunken Spike. While it does not add anything terribly crucial to the story, it ought to be entertaining I hope.

Interlude 11B - Spike Interupted:

***Spike POV***

-Willy's Bar : Saturday just after Sunset-

Sitting down at Willy's bar, I order a pint of A neg with a shot of whiskey in it.

Willy knows better than to try and cut my blood with that orangutan crap he serves the fledges but I give the drink a sniff first anyway just in case he's turned suicidal while I've been gone.

"What brings you back to Sunnydale?" he asks me nervously. Ah... Home sweet home. It's good to be Big Bad.

"I'm looking for a witch. Need a spell cast for me." I tell him.

This loose-skinned demon sitting next to me buts in. "You could ask Little Madison over at the old Delta Zeta Kappa house on Crestwood."

I magnanimously elect to forgive the intrusion into the private chat cause he's being all helpful like. Turning so I can face both of them I ask, "She any good?"

Willy shrugs-

-Roadside : Saturday Night-

"Excuse me!?" The taller of the two blonde birds from the car interrupts me.

"...What? S'what he did."

"He shrugged!?"

"Yeah, so? Who's telling this story anyway, you or me?"

"William-"

"Now don't you start that again, Alien Boy. It's Spike!" Only Dru gets to call me William. Will again too if Alien Boy's plan works.

He rubs his face, looking annoyed but there's no purple flashes. "Fine. Spike... meet Amy Madison and Harmony. Amy, Harmony, meet my brother Spike." I shake my head, It's still strange hearing him Dru's logic with adult words. Always wanted a family my Dru did, seems she went and started making one for us before she decided I wasn't demon enough for her. "He was just telling us all about how the man the demon community calls 'the snitch' knows about your magic."

Putting on the grin that those Irish triplets loved so much I come back to the conversation at hand. "You the witch that did the fireproofing on Willy's bar then?"

"I might be the witch that reverses it too if Willy didn't do more than shrug at you." Crazy bint suddenly has fire swirling around in her hand. I keep a close eye on it until it peters out in her clenched fist. Alien boy keeps strange company, hanging out with humans. Fire magic using ones at that.

"Can we just get back to the story?" The shorter blonde smiles at me. She's kind of fit enough looking. Haven't had a woman since Dru and I split...

"...Harmony, was it?" She smiles.

"Spike... focus..." My newborn brother pokes me on the shoulder. I'd take offense, but I 'spect Dru'd be plenty cross me with me if I dusted the Alien. Telling her he's still alive is part of the plan after all, and Dru always knows when I'm lying.

"Right then. Where was I?"

"You went to find Amy here."

"Right. So I found the Alien Wonder instead." I point at the walking purple lightshow himself. "He tells me the Slayer is down in some caves tonight and won't be around to bother us if we go say hello to her mum. Wonderful lady Joyce is, makes the best cocoa. But it bloody well didn't turn out that way did it?"

-Summer's Residence Kitchen : Saturday Evening-

"... Ooh the marshmallows." I head back over to the counter to grab them.

I suspect I may have had enough of the hooch if I'm forgetting important things like that.

Dumping the marshmallows into the cocoa, but skipping adding any more whiskey just yet, I turn to head back into the dining room as a loud crash echoes through the house.

"What the bloody hell is going on out here?" I almost walk right into... Slayer. She's standing there looking all panicked to see Big Bad.

I spot Captain Forehead standing in the doorway, terrorizing the bit who's hiding behind Dru's newest spawn.

He's yelling something at The Grandsire, while Joyce tries to calm her down. Not too sure what they think a fledge is going to do to stop a master vampire.

I hear the whelp start yammering in the other room.

Eh... is he supposed to be purple like that?

Oh! Yes! Break his skull! I've always wanted to do that! Wait... How the- The bloody hell did Dru do? She can't have meant alien literally did she?

Movement. Slayer's stake comes at me, I dodge left, and then I would have had her but the whiskey gets the better of me and I hit the wall.

Bit's in front of me yelling at big sis to leave me alone cause I saved her.

...

I remember doing that.

Not too sure why I bothered though. Seems odd.

Oh right! The angry look on The Great Poof's face. Didn't like being interrupted did he?

So then then Alien Boy walks back in-

-Roadside : Saturday Night-

"Yerr terrible at this whole story tellin thing ain'tcha?" The psycho bint Alien Boy says is our sister... or was that just his sister? They sound alike. Her being another alien would explain a few things. That or his thinking's even more free than Dru's and he hasn't noticed she's not a vamp. Hard to say with this one, bit of an odd duck either way.

"...Well maybe if you lot didn't keep interrup-"

"I think you mean maybe if you weren't hammered the entire time." Dru's Alien accuses me. Me!

"I was not drunk!"

"You just said that you'd had so much to drink that you forgot about the tiny marshmallows!" A purple flash accompanies that one. Might be time to cut my losses, leastwise until I can get Dru to explain just what the bloody hell it is she made here.

"Oh shut up. Do you want to hear the rest of the story or not?"

"I want to know what Dawn said that left the room so frozen with horror when I walked in."

...

"Don't remember. Something about The Poof trying to take her though."

"No way!" Alien's sister shouts in my ear.

"What do you mean no way? S'what happened."

"Dawnsteh does not talk about that. She just... doesn't. Won't even tell me what happened. Not for anythin."

"Right, well, shocked the lot of them white hats when she did, didn't it?"

"And... are you sayin you saved her because you thought it'd be funny?"

"Course not! She's the Niblet, got to keep her safe don't I?" Or did I decide that afterwards? Not important. "Joyce would have a fit, anything happened to her like that. So. I was saying..."

- Summer's Residence Dining Room : Saturday Evening -

Dru's Alien walks back into the house with the brunette that rode him out the door in tow.

He asks Platelet if she's alright.

The peanut gallery explodes. Everyone starts shouting. I think they're giving me a headache on purpose.

Bit nods after a moment though. The important part that is.

Slayer stakes my new brother-

-Roadside : Saturday Night-

"REALLY!? AGAIN!?" Flame gal sounds incensed again.

"That's exactly what I said!"

"Will you people bloody well stop interrupting me already!?"

...

"Right then. So the Slayer staking him is when I realized Dru might be onto something with the Alien nonsense. No fledge is going to survive a proper staking like that less his heart's not right. Bit though, she goes off on Big Sis. Then Captain Purple here, he throws a hissy fit when they start calling him names. So then we leave rather than get any more blood on Joyce's floor. Blighter didn't even let me have a proper go at mocking the broken poof, just dragged us on past him."

"I'm not letting you dust him. Just because I'm no longer speakin- Hey! It was not a hissy fit! Buffy fucking staked me! Again! And then her friends are all pissed off at me for NOT DUSTING! URGH... I suppose I'll add a carpet cleaning to the bill-"

"Why are we paying for a mess Buffy made? ...Again?" Fire-Happy the witch asks.

"...well I may have lost my shit on... Angel... and beaten him well past senseless with Joyce's back door. She'll probably need a new frame too."

"So... wait. Why were you guys all fighting on the sidewalk?" The pretty blonde one asks.

I point at the brunette... Faith was it? "This one here called Dru crazy. S'not crazy, just playful!"

"You said you were gonna go torture her into lovin you!" Course I am.

"So? S'what she likes." Brilliant plan really.

"See! She's Crazy!" I go to get her for that but I can't seem to walk forwards after the first step.

"Now don't you two start that again." Dru's Alien glares at us. What's he doing so I can't move? Oh.

Witch girl has me floating just off the ground. Bloody cheating that is. "Well... that answers my question about whether vampire lines share a family resemblance." She says before putting me back down.

"Hey!" the three of us shout in unison. Not sure what they have to complain about. I'm the bloke was just compared to a pair of loony bin escapees.

"Oh, Goddess. Let's just go home and grab his Christmas present already. Thanksgiving is going to be so awkward now."

...

"Christmas present?"

"Thanksgiving!?"