He'd sent her out of his parent's bathroom like a naughty child who'd done something she ought not to have done and she knew what it was. Ann had thrown herself at him and he'd been so stunned that he pushed her away.
He finished his bath, such as it was that afternoon and didn't come out of the bathroom until his shirt was back on and he was up on crutches. He'd made an excuse about being tired and wanting to lie down to get some rest. He showed her the door and while he was polite about it couldn't seem to get her out of his parent's house fast enough.
It was all her fault and she didn't know what she could do to make things right. So instead, she kept her distance and always made sure that when she went to see him that someone was always there. And if it looked as though it might end up being just the two of them she would make her excuses and leave him alone. He always looked as though he wanted her to stay but he'd made his feelings pretty clear.
And now his cast was off.
Sarah asked Ann to meet her at the beach the afternoon Danny returned to his quarters and she hesitated. Ann didn't particularly want to talk about the situation and felt that was what Sarah had in mind. But it had been so long since they'd talked about anything that she couldn't turn her friend down.
"I wish you'd say something." Sarah remarked as they walked along the water's edge. "You're as bad as my brother is because he's not talking either."
"There's nothing to talk about. I misread what he wanted and he pushed me away." Ann sighed and was surprised when Sarah laughed.
"You didn't misread him Annie; you surprised him is all."
She wanted to bury herself in the sand; right then and there she was so embarrassed. "He told you?"
"He hasn't said too much about it." She sounded a little too mysterious and Ann wondered what Danny's sister wasn't telling her. "Danny loves you and I know you know that. I also know that you love him and he knows that. The thing of it is, he's never felt for any girl what he feels for you and frankly, it scares him sometimes."
That wasn't news to Ann. Danny had told her that when he was with her he didn't think, he only felt. It was the same with her too, only she didn't know if she'd ever told him that. For better or for worse, all she could do that afternoon was feel and it wasn't just the feel of his warm body under her hands. It was the feel of a young woman who wanted nothing more than to let the man she loved know how much she loved him. He seemed to understand that too and it's why he pushed her away.
"Ann, it hasn't been hard to miss that things between the two of you have been moving pretty fast and you both know it. That's why you've each backed off because if things move any faster, there won't be any turning back."
It didn't take too much to realize what Sarah meant. "We don't want to repeat history."
She nodded. "What is that old saying about the sins of the father being visited upon the son? Our parent's made decisions that affect us even now. But you and Danny aren't them and you need to decide what's best for you."
"What is it that you're trying to say?"
She stopped Ann with a touch on her arm. "You know exactly what I'm trying to say. Danny's a grown man and you're eighteen and if you feel that your relationship has come to the point that you want to take the next step I wouldn't rule it out."
Ann was stunned that Sarah would even suggest it. "Are you serious? We can't."
She nodded her head. "You could if you wanted to because you're both mature responsible people and you'd handle it the right way."
"Sarah, we can't even seem to handle a simple thing like necking without getting carried away. If we were put in a position like that, we wouldn't think about anything." She tried to explain. "We haven't learned yet how to balance all of the emotions we're dealing with, so how are we supposed to handle something as serious as making love?"
"I didn't know that. You've never given me the impression that you two can't keep your hands off each other." Sarah said with a smile. "You're always the good son and good daughter in front of our parent's."
"It's nothing to smile about because our parent's are keeping an eye on us." Ann frowned as she explained. "And it doesn't matter that Danny's twenty-three and I'm eighteen. We are of legal age and my parent's can't do anything about it if we went through with it, but we would have to live with the consequences of knowing that we broke a promise to them."
"You actually promised them that you wouldn't?"
"We promised them that nothing would happen and we have to keep our word."
"And you're doing that by keeping your distance." Sarah looked puzzled. "How is that supposed to help?"
"It keeps temptation out of reach." Ann told her sensibly. "And hopefully it will help us to try and find a way to be together without getting into a situation we can't handle."
She smiled. "You really love him a lot, don't you?"
"And don't think that it doesn't scare me sometimes." Ann replied. "So what about you? Has one of those handsome pilots over at Hickam caught your eye yet?"
Sarah shook her head. "I'm playing the field, as it were and striking out. It's all right, though because I'm not ready to get serious about anyone. But it seems as though Hank is getting pretty serious about Evelyn."
"I'm sorry."
"Please don't be. We knew that it wasn't working but were too afraid of hurting each other to admit it or finding out why. I felt bad for Evelyn because I could sense that there was something brewing with them and neither one of them wanted any part of it. I got the feeling that she felt stuck in the middle of something she had no control over and that she didn't particularly want."
"She's a nice girl Sarah. You're a lot alike in some ways and maybe you could talk to her some time." Ann suggested, not sure how her friend would take to the idea.
"We'll see. I'm just trying to stay out of his way for the moment. We were too close in some ways and I'm still having some separation anxiety." Sarah answered. "I just want to concentrate on my job for now. It seems as though I'm learning something new everyday and it keeps me on my toes."
"He asks about you and still worries about you."
She nodded. "I know. Danny told me and Hank should know that he can't do that, not any more. It's different that he fusses over you because you're like a sister. But we can't be that way and frankly I don't want to be. Maybe when we get farther down the road we can be friends, but it's not something I can even consider right now."
"I understand."
"Does she really like him?" Sarah asked and Ann could see that it was out of genuine curiosity and not jealousy. "Does she make him happy?"
"To be perfectly honest, it's hard to tell how either one of them really feels. Hank pushes all of the wrong buttons with her and I don't know if he does it on purpose or if he's even aware of it. Evelyn doesn't give him any quarter and holds him to what he says to her."
A look of wistfulness passed quickly across her face and she managed a smile. "They sound perfect for each other."
Ann smiled back tentatively. "I don't know about perfect, but they do seem to set sparks off of each other."
"It's more than we could do." Sarah sighed. "And it's not that either one of us is to blame, it's just that as much as we cared for each other he needed someone like her to keep him on his toes. I certainly couldn't because I didn't know how."
"He just wasn't the right guy and you know that now. Once the right one comes along, you'll know how." And Ann hugged her. "I'm glad you asked me down here to talk. It's been such a long time since we've done this and I've really missed it."
"So have I Annie. But I promise that I won't let it be so long again." Sarah promised her as they headed up the beach.
"I'm glad."
"So do you have any plans for tonight?"
Ann sighed. "The only plans I have are with my schoolbooks. I got behind in my classes when Danny was missing and then once he got home, I was always at the hospital. Now that he's back in his quarters, I have a lot of work to make up."
That piece of news elicited a worried look from Sarah. "Are you going to pass the semester?"
"I don't know if I'm going to pass midterms, so I really need to buckle down and get caught up." She admitted.
"Do your parent's know that you're having trouble?"
She shook her head. "No. But they're bound to find out, if I don't tell them first. The truth is Sarah, I don't know if I want to continue after this semester. I worked over the summer and I really liked it, earning my own money and buying things without having to ask my parent's for money. It was the first time that I felt I could take care of some things by myself."
"Are you considering leaving school?" Sarah looked surprised at her news.
"I just spent the last twelve years sitting in classrooms to get a high school diploma and I don't know that I really want to spend another three and a half years in college classrooms, not sure of what I want to do to for a degree."
"You didn't answer my question." She pressed.
Ann shrugged her shoulders. "I don't really know. I'm not enjoying school the way I thought I would and I don't know what to do."
"Have you talked to your parents?"
She sighed. "I wouldn't even know where to begin. This is something they've both wanted for me and it was something I wanted for myself. I just don't know any more."
Sarah stopped Ann again. "It seems to me that so much has happened to you in the last year that you haven't had the chance to sort through it all. It didn't help matters either that Danny was missing all that time and we didn't know whether he was alive or not."
"So what do you think I should do?"
She shook her head. "You know I can't do that. This is one of those decisions that you're going to have to make. But I do think that you should talk to your parents and see what they think."
Ann sighed again. "My life was so uncomplicated a year ago."
Sarah put an arm around her shoulders. "I know Annie, it's called growing up. And you've done a lot of it recently."
"Some of it has been very nice, but it seems to be happening too fast." She added.
"You and Danny have been traveling through uncharted territory together. And after what happened a few weeks ago and knowing that you don't want things to get out of hand, now is the time to sit down and make some decisions. Mostly, you need to decide how to be together and be happy, but not put yourselves in situations that leave you frustrated."
"We seem to have a knack for doing just that."
"Well then it's past time that you have a heart to heart. If you both feel that this is a relationship that will turn into something permanent you need to set some firm ground rules and stick to them."
Ann nodded and didn't say anything because Sarah put it succinctly enough that it didn't require an answer.
"Did I give you enough to think about?" She pressed gently.
"Nothing that I hadn't thought of already, but it's always nice to hear it from someone else."
"Then my job is done." Sarah laughed. "Why don't you let me walk you back to your house because you've got a lot to do."
"I'd like that." Ann smiled back at her friend as they walked together up the beach.
