Author's Old Rant (3 years back): Oh I've been woefully bland without my little rants so I've decided to unleash a cannon load of grape-shot across the quarterdeck of Checkmated dot com or as I like to refer to it as the little website of Nazi-female Ron Hermione shippers.

Why you ask, because it's not a question of me being upset that my work was never published on their website. I refuse to even post there. Now I admit three years ago I submitted the very first chapter of Dragonheart and a Nazi-female Beta/Proctor/Head Girl/Witch Council twit told me it wasn't any good. Heck, she's right after all her last dull one-shot fic got about ten reviews so whom am I to argue with her. Anyway, I've never returned nor do I feel any bad will at their rejection. Actually, I laugh at it and hold it up as an example of the female egoistical views of that website.

You think I'm babbling crazy about this? You check the website and show me a Male author that is on the staff. Dare you – double dare you! You might find one or two that are low level Betas/Proctors, but that's it.

Honestly, how the heck is that website even able to function? I realize any idiots can get together and put up a website, but how they managed to scrape charity donations after charity donation to stay up more than a year is beyond me. I bet not a single one of them have ever touched a single piece of Server hardware or have the slightest clue at how to maintain one. Therefore, I know they're paying someone else to do the work. Which brings me to this, DO NOT GIVE ANY MORE MONEY TO CHECKMATED!

A lot of people complain about FanFiction. However, I argue that this website is the ideal place to post a story. It has the greatest number of readers, it has the greatest amount of stories in volume, and Fanfiction is self-sufficient and carries stories in thirty-five languages. Thirty-five! They even got Latin for crying out loud! It's a dead language, but they got it.

So why in the world would you ever post on that other lousy website? You like to write thoughtless one-shot fics that are Pro-Hermione and Ron-bashing… well I guess Checkmated is the place for you.

Witches Council - Pahhh! Not a damn one of them has written a story that would get a tenth of the reviews here that they got on their website from suck ups. You heard me - I said it. I'm ten times the writer than all of them could ever hope to be with the possible exception of Portkey. Oh yeah, I read their stories; I got the headache to prove it. Merlin, are they second-rate. I wouldn't even waste my time at being their Beta. I'd rather spend it on helping authors who have some imagination, story-telling ability, and humor. (A/NI forgot to add back then that most of the Witch Council members had gotten kicked off FanFiction. HAHAHA!)

In conclusion, don't waste your time or your money on that site. Stick right here – it's tough I grant you to build an audience of fans, but it's worth it to know that you can write a fic that people want to read. Not because you're a website moderator that has to approve on every story posted. After all who are you to say who can post what? They call me arrogant and narrow-minded, well at least I never tried to stop a Harry/Hermione shipper, a Draco/Hermione/Ginny shipper, or even a Slash writer from having the right to post their story. I've might've said some of them were horrible writers and shouldn't write anymore but I never said they couldn't post. Big difference! Checkmated claims higher standards, my arse, try repressive dateless Nazi-feminists that couldn't write a multi-chapter fic that people want to read to save their narrow-minded asses.

-BuckNC

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Author's NEW Rant (December 2015): I've been wanting to say this since October 2014.


R.I.P.

Checkmated

October 2014


Some things in this world are better off as nothing more than rotting decaying worm food. :-D

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Chapter 54 – Mum is at the back door

Intrepidly Hermione walked into the store toward the back office followed closely by a tense Ginny, and an unperturbed Fred and George, who almost seemed to relish the idea of an argument with a barking angry Ron. As she walked into the back office, she was astounded to find Ron with his head and nose buried deep inside a pantry cabinet full of cobwebs.

"Oi, I though you two said you were successful businessmen," boasted a cheeky Ron toward his older twin brother with his head still stuck in the empty cabinet.

Hermione looked back over her shoulder to see the bewildered looks of Fred and George at what they thought or hoped would be a huge row over their hottest selling item, the comic book about Ron. Being that it wasn't what they expected at all, it didn't take long to hear the wounded and defensive tone coming from the twins. The twins took a great deal of pride at how successful their joke shop was.

"What the… we are - you stupid prat."

"Who do you think owns this establishment?"

With that Ron took his head out of the pantry and pointedly looked at the twins to ask, "If that's the case then why isn't there a single piece of edible food in here?"

Involuntarily Hermione rolled her eyes while Ginny scoffed in amusement as the twins replied. "Oi you pathetic troll. We keep food in the icebox."

"The older he gets, the stupider he gets… I wouldn't think it was possible," George crowed as Fred nodded in agreement.

Even Harry chuckled before Ron gave him a nasty look. The twins shook their heads at Ron and returned to the front of the store to attend to customers as Ron moved over to the icebox.

Hermione took the moment to notice the rather odd-looking office. It had two cherry oak desks on the far left of the room that faced each another. On top of the desks were various magical items that fell apart and then either rebuilt themselves or had several pieces of odd looking bomb-shaped candy that would turn bright red then explode into a miniature mushroom cloud of smoke. Above the desks, high on the wall sat a golden framed portrait of Professor Dumbledore who seemed to be quietly sitting on his high chair in regarding the room in silent amusement. The right side of the office resembled a living room, including a couch that resembled the one in the Gryffindor common room. Harry was sitting on the couch, trying on a new pair of Seeker gloves that he just bought. Next to the living room area was a small kitchen with an empty cobwebbed pantry and an old disconnected icebox that Ron was currently sticking his head in. The sight became even more bizarre when she heard Ron loudly sniffing before pulling out of the icebox, an old carton of Chinese food.

"Oi! The only food you got in here is moldy Chinese food" Ron roared toward the front of the store.

The twins who were most likely serving a customer, impatiently called out from the front of the store. "Sawdust for brains, we're working here! Just scoop out the mold and eat what's underneath it!"

"Ewww," cried Hermione and Ginny in unison.

As if watching a car wreck, Hermione and Ginny couldn't take their eyes off Ron for even a second as he peered deep inside the small Chinese carton. After another loud audible sniff from Ron, he shook his head in disgust and grunted; it was an animated refusal to eat the moldy Chinese food causing both Hermione and Ginny to exhale in relief.

Ginny was the first to comment as she sat down beside Harry, "You know, the more he hangs around with us, the smarter he gets."

Ron grunted a noise that he disputed that notion, but Hermione overruled him by adding her two cents. "One can only hope. Ron, you just had a huge bowl of ice cream less than thirty minutes ago."

Ron, who was now searching the rest of the kitchen cabinets stopped to answer Hermione. "I can't help it… I'm hungry!"

Hermione replied with a twitch of a smile playing at her lips. "I could always cook for you again."

Bang!

Ron yelped after banging his head on top of the cabinet. "OW! No bloody way! Blast it, now my head hurts and my stomach is still growling."

It was at this moment that the portrait of Professor Dumbledore spoke up, "Perhaps we could be of assistance."

Ron, after glaring at Hermione, snapped an answer at the Professor. "Anything, just don't let Hermione cook it."

It was then that Harry asked Ron, "Why can't we let Hermione cook?"

Harry was obviously confused as a wide grin grew on Hermione's face. However, Ron was the first to answer. "Forget it, Mate. Just don't let her cook, okay."

Hermione cheekily whimpered, "But, Ron, I was looking forward to cooking you a bowl of hot gravy and a pot of hot mashed potatoes-"

Ron interrupted her again with a scowl and a tint of fear in his voice as he no-doubt remembered the last time she cooked something for him. "I don't want gravy or anything else that's hot!"

"It's freezing outside," Harry said as he stared in disbelief at Ron's demand. "Personally I could use something warm to eat."

"No way! I mean it, Hermione!" Ron demanded as he pointed his finger at a smiling Hermione and totally ignored a confused Harry.

"I thought you liked my mashed potatoes," Hermione antagonized him some more as she smiled at the memory of Ron wearing every bit of mashed potatoes she cooked for him that night at the Burrow. He remembered it too as he turned around and speedily tightened his belt around his waist in an effort to keep her from pouring hot gravy into his lap.

Fortunately for Ron, the portrait of Professor Dumbledore interrupted again. "Mr. Weasley, we could provide-"

"It's Ron, alright. You keep saying Mr. Weasley and I keep thinking you're talking to my father," Ron hotly interrupted in exasperation at Professor Dumbledore's portrait. "Either call me Ron, Albus, or don't speak to me at all."

The portrait of Professor Dumbledore showed a look of disappointment and anger, but said nothing more to him. However, Hermione was shocked and immediately shouted back at him, "Ron, that was very rude! Now apologize."

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Ron's POV:

"-Now apologize."

Ron could feel his empty stomach rolling even more from the stress of everything that had happened today and for the last few weeks. He was sick of it and he certainly didn't feel he deserved any of it. He felt that Professor Dumbledore and even Hermione should be extremely grateful for the actions that he had taken the last few weeks since returning from the Preserve. However, the adamant look from Hermione was telling him the exact opposite and he realized that he might be taking his pride a bit too far. He stubbornly turned his head away from Hermione and looked deep inside the cabinets one last time to find something, anything that could be eaten to settle the growling in his stomach.

"Ronald Weasley," Hermione pouted at him for turning his head away from her and not doing what she commanded. "You go right over there-"

Bloody hell, Ron thought in frustration before he finally listened to Hermione and did what she said. He turned away from a scowling Hermione and reluctantly nodded defeat before he slowly made his way over to the portrait. What made it even worse was his Best Mate leaning off the couch and pushing him toward the direction of the portrait.

"Go on," Harry demanded of him as he walked over to Fred and George's desk and faced a stone-faced Professor Dumbledore who was refusing to acknowledge him.

"I… I-"

"Speak up you git," Ginny demanded as she and Harry watched him from the couch.

Ron could feel his face turning beet-red as he irrationally apologized, " I want to say that I'm sorry for being rude a moment ago."

His half-hearted apology wasn't lost on the portrait of Professor Dumbledore and he continued to sit on his high-backed chair and said nothing. As Ron glanced over at Hermione who seemed to be a bit confused at the Professor's failure to say anything; he became aware of the underlining problem between the recent animosity between him and the Headmaster. He realized the Headmaster did not want a half-hearted apology; he wanted a full public confession of his sins.

More painful silence followed until Ron couldn't take the Professor's, his best mate's, his sister's, and most especially Hermione's disapproval any longer. The growl in his stomach seemed to be of the same opinion that his pride was leaving him lonely, hungry and empty. Slowly, he tilted his head toward Hermione who seemed to be carrying a look of hurt on her face. It was the same look he remembered that she had at the Burrow when he had told her that he didn't know if he loved her or not.

It was a lie. Ron contemplated to himself. I had to tell that lie, then another, then another… I thought I could make it right.

It was at this crossroad in Ron's life that he stopped thinking and slowly looked around at the faces of Harry, Ginny, and Hermione. To each one of them they all shared a look of disappointment at Ron for failure to apologize to Professor Dumbledore. Another apology was needed for them as well; after all he had gotten all of them involved in his personal mission to save Hermione without even telling them the truth.

"I lied," responded a truly apologetic Ron, as he felt ashamed for the first time since coming back. "I lied to each one of you on why I came back and I've been mental ever since."

Ron looked over at Hermione who was tilting her chin up and proudly watching him as he confessed.

"The real reason is I wanted to come back and protect Hermione from getting hurt or killed by Dolohov. I ah… Merlin. I just wanted to be the one that saves her for once. Harry has done if so often-"

"Yeah, it's such a joy to be the one doing it all the time," snipped Harry at having to always play the hero.

"Shh," spoke Ginny, slapping Harry on the arm and nodding at Ron to continue.

"I wanted to be the one that saved her for once. I was hoping that if I did thenmaybeshewouldlikeme."

"What was that, Mr. Weasley?" asked a knowing Professor Dumbledore.

Ron couldn't bear to look over at her as he slowly said the truth. "I wanted her to like me. I know it sounds stupid-"

Hermione interjected as she reached out and held Ron's hand. "It's not stupid at all. Not telling us the truth was the stupid part, because I already liked you, Ron. I always have… I just forget sometimes." A red-faced and embarrassed Hermione leaned over and kissed Ron softly on the lips.

"Love," illustrated the portrait of Professor Dumbledore as he proudly stood up from his high-backed chair and addressed everyone listening. "I too have made the mistake of caring for one's happiness than of him or her knowing the truth."

Ron could sense as Dumbledore's portrait turned his head toward Harry that there was more to it.

"It was foolish I dare say, as Ronald has demonstrated to us all, but I dare anyone that has ever loved to not fall in the same trap. Ronald, I will pass on your apology and explanation to my real self. He has been eagerly waiting to hear it for some time now." With that the portrait of Albus Dumbledore bowed his head respectfully toward Ron and Hermione and then over at Harry and Ginny before he walked out of the portrait.

Ron slowly looked over at Hermione who was positively beaming as she gazed at him in awe. It was the catalyst that he needed to boldly lean over and kiss a surprised and then very receptive Hermione. She quickly tossed her arms around Ron's neck and pressed up against him as he started to move his hands up and down her back and then through her hair.

"Ahem," coughed the portrait of Professor Dumbledore. "AHEM!"

Ron, who seemed to be a bit lost again, broke away from Hermione and noticed a small little magical painting of Professor Dumbledore smiling at him in a portrait.

Weird, how did he get inside a portrait? Must be a shrinking spell, Ron thought as he heard a ruffling sound behind him. He looked back to see a goofy smiling Harry with pink lipstick smeared all over his face and a radiant Ginny embarrassingly pulling down her shirt. Shouldn't she have dressed up in her room before coming down here like that?

"Ronald," addressed the Professor with Ron's head turned as he looked over at the new furniture in the Gryffindor common room. "Ronald… hello Ronald."

Hermione poked him in the side to get his attention.

"What? Hey, since when did we get new desks in the common room… and a kitchen? Is there any food in there?" Ron asked as he pointed at the old icebox in the corner of the Gryffindor common room.

Ginny giggled as Professor Dumbledore became serious. "I see… Harry, I was told to tell all of you to stay put until we send some Order members to come get you."

Harry spoke up, which seemed a bit ridiculous to Ron as Harry was wearing pink lipstick all over his mouth and face. "We will, sir. We received Draco Malfoy's Trust Fund and Dolohov's vault records from the Gringotts this morning. Bill and Percy are bringing them over for us to go through."

"We are already aware of that, Harry," a knowing Professor Dumbledore smirked before becoming serious again. "So I must warn all of you that you are in grave danger. Voldemort will stop at nothing to keep those records private. That's why I've given orders for several members of the Order to meet you and provide security."

Harry nodded in understanding as Ron started to wonder if he really wasn't in the Gryffindor common room after all. "Thank you, sir."

"Ah there you are," announced Bill as he entered the back room carrying numerous ledgers followed by a frustrated Percy. "Ron, Ginny give me a hand with these- Harry is that lipstick - is that my little sister's lipstick?"

Bill stopped in his tracks as he looked at the surprised nervous look on Ginny's face and the scared look of Harry as he vigorously rubbed his mouth and face with his Dragon-hide jacket.

Come to think of it, Ron analyzed what Bill was saying as he looked over at a pleading and guilty faced Harry.

"Ron, I thought you said you would handle this!" Bill demanded of him as he turned to scowl at him instead of the guilty party.

"I ah…," Ron looked over at his little sister who seemed to be almost pleading with him to stand up for her. "I… I mind your business, Bill," Ron trumpeted.

Bill and even a quiet Percy seemed to be stunned at Ron's suggestion and was about to say something more about it except for the timely knock on the back door.

Knock. Knock.

"Who would want to come in through the back?" asked Harry as he pulled out his wand and pointed it toward the door.

Ron regaining his sense about him immediately and followed suit, as did the rest of them. Percy who wasn't a bit pleased at being here was the first to offer his idea at whom it was. "Any self-respecting wizard that doesn't want to be caught seen at this silly little store would be my guess."

"We heard that!" George yelled from the front of the store.

"You're lucky we allow you to step foot in it!" voiced Fred in the same heated tone reminding everyone that Percy still had to make amends for his past.

Knock. Knock.

"Psst, open up. I know you're in there," voiced a soft but oddly familiar voice.

Ron seemed to be the only one with the courage to speak up. "Who is it? What's your name?"

The voice he heard next was unmistakable."Ronald Bilius Weasley, if you don't open this door this second before I'm seen and publicly humiliated, I swear I'll have you cleaning the floors for a month with your broomstick."

As if someone had lit a fire under his backside, he leaped toward the back door and wisely opened it to reveal a rather plump woman with a shawl over her head to protect her identity. Even odder was the fact his own stomach rejoiced in relief at the first sight of his mother. He watched as she stepped inside and quickly shut the door behind her before taking the shawl off, then breathing a sigh of relief at not being caught while entering the back of the store. Of course, this was all short lived nonetheless as she immediately took on the motherly duties of scowling at her children.

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Mrs. Weasley POV:

After slamming the door shut, she made small praise to Merlin for not being caught entering the place she swore would close down in bankruptcy foreclosure in under a month. Almost two years later, to her utter disbelief she found herself standing in the very back of her sons' successful silly shop. Thank Merlin, Augusta Longbottom didn't see me enter. I swear I never hear the end of it.

As she looked around to see the shocked stares of a gulping Bill, a pompously proud Percy, a fidgeting Ginny with her hair all run through, a gaping Harry who was wearing some odd looking pink lipstick on his cheeks, an embarrassed Hermione who was yanking the back of Ron's shirt to stand beside her, and a breathless Ron whose mouth was opened in a perfect O making him unable or unwilling to speak.

At that moment, Mrs. Weasley realized a lesser woman would've completely disobeyed Albus Dumbledore's order to report to the Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes store for a top secret mission. However, when Albus told her that Ron, Ginny, Harry, and Hermione would all be there carrying out a top secret mission for the Order of the Phoenix instead of being safely away at school where they belonged, she immediately rushed to Diagon Alley and stepped foot inside a store that she had till that day refused to step inside of. The only thing that concerned her after making sure everybody was alive and safe, was to decide which one of her elder sons would be getting an ear full.

"William Weasley! Percy Weasley! What are my children doing in here at this, this-"

"George! George! I found the source of all the yelling that's interrupting our well-respected and lawful business!" Fred boasted towards the front of the store as he walked in looking as if he won the lottery.

His twin brother, George, entered the back room as well and his face wore the same Merlin-awful grin as Fred's. "You don't say, Fred. Why bless my soul. Fred, look it's our own beloved mother."

"Knock it off you two," voiced a disapproving Hermione with her hands on hips as she frowned at the two of them.

Thank you, I swear to Merlin if Ron lets her get away I'm going to hex him into next week, Mrs. Weasley thought as she smiled at Hermione.

Fred and George crackled with laughter at Hermione's suggestion and pressed on. "Didn't she say or was it swore-"

"Swore to Merlin himself, I believe Fred."

"That she would never-"

Oh dear here it comes, Mrs. Weasley frowned.

"—ever step foot-"

Twins, why did I have to give birth to twins? She shook her head.

"-in our business."

It's all Arthur's fault. I knew we should've been stricter with them. Mrs. Weasley tilted her head up and defiantly looked back at her twin sons before glancing around the room.

"I see your office is just as filthy as your room."

Happily, she noticed the comment took a bit of the cockiness out of her once grinning boys. She even noticed the open cabinet pantry doors next to the small kitchen that was filled with nothing but cobwebs. "Businessmen, humph. I see now why you survived for this long. You've been living off my table for the last two years! This place is filthy, nothing but filth!"

Percy smugly chuckled in agreement while the twins frowned in anger and started defending themselves.

"We were going to clean up-"

"—just we've been really busy."

Mrs. Weasley was on the offensive and was determined not to let up as she walked over to the kitchen to see a sink full of dirty dishes. "An outright lie if I ever heard one." She waved her wand and magically started cleaning the sink full of dishes.

"It is not a lie!" roared George.

Mrs. Weasley was horrified but secretly delighted to find what she saw next. In the icebox she found an opened carton of greenish blue moldy Chinese food that looked like it hadn't been touched in months.

"Merlin!" shrieked Mrs. Weasley sticking her nose away from the carton. "This is disgusting!"

"Right about that," grumbled Ron at the livid look of Fred and George shot at him.

"We were going to pitch that, we just-" One of her sons lied as she knew they had an inability to toss out garbage or pick up their own clothes without being told to do so numerous times.

"Percy, Bill, I'm going to need you to go over to the market around the corner and pick up a week's supply of food," Mrs. Weasley commanded.

"We're going to need some money," Percy reminded her even though she had a good suspicion that Percy had more than enough on him to pay for it.

"Check these businessmen's cash register and only by the grace of Merlin if we're all lucky, will they have a Knut or two for us to use," She boasted while doubtfully looking at a now disgruntled Fred and an equally disgruntled George.

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A/N: Two Chapter post for tonight.