Chapter 55
The anger which coursed through it was wild and irrational. It wasn't totally sure where it was coming from, but it did know where it was aiming at. The thought... the very notion that they could think of it as a mortal problem wound it up no end. It was not a mortal problem. It was anything but a mortal problem and soon... soon they would find out first hand just how wrong they were.
'Stop this; I won't let you hurt anyone,' its reflection whined for attention.
'I haven't even begun yet,' it smiled back, 'and you have no way of stopping me. Don't you get it little girl, I'm stronger than you are.'
'I don't care. I won't let you hurt anyone.'
'And just how are you planning on stopping me?'
'I'll take my body back.'
'You don't have the strength.'
'I don't care. I'll keep fighting till I win. I won't let some nothing invader steal my body from me.'
'Nothing invader,' anger spiked through it again, 'you're the one who's the nothing invader. This body was mine from the start.'
'No, you're lying.'
'Are you sure about that?'
'Of course I'm sure.'
'You're just an insane little girl, how can you be sure of anything?' It glared at its reflection. 'You don't even remember your own childhood, but I do. I was watching... all that time watching... not really aware, but not totally unaware all the same time. Watching. Waiting. Learning.'
'L-learning about me?'
'No, learning about what I am. I don't remember it all yet, but I'm close. I'm so close I can almost taste it and then...'
'I won't let you hurt anyone.'
'The way I see it you don't have a choice,' it chuckled, 'now shut up and enjoy the ride.'
Serenity wasn't sure how long she'd been asleep for. All she knew is by the time she half started to rouse her brother had returned and there were lots of angry voices going on around her. Most of the anger had come from Tristan and the occasional venom of his attitude had been enough to completely change her opinion of him. He wasn't the too nice boy next door who would bend over backwards for anyone she thought he was. He had a spine and a definite bite to him which was more than justified considering what he'd been through during the course of the day. Serenity found herself a little bit afraid of him, but she was more afraid of the truth he revealed about Octan. A truth which kept her eyes shut at all cost.
When the conversation eventually dimmed into a discussion between Tristan, Joey and Yugi about what needed to be done next, Serenity half opened her eyes to see what was going on. Octan was in her direct view, making her heart leap with so much fear she almost closed her eyes again. Then she noticed the way he was pulling at his hair and rocking back and forth like a frightened little boy and her opinion soften slightly. She remembered Tristan saying something about him being Jay now and her curiosity and compassion rose. Opening her eyes, she yawned, stretched and got to her feet.
'Serenity you should go back to sleep,' Joey turned his attention towards her for a moment, 'there's not a lot any of us can do right now.'
'I know,' she tried not to allow her gaze to shift towards Jay, 'but I am kind of wondering why the hospital staff have allowed us to hang around so late.'
'It's not...' he checked his watch, 'wow it's later than I thought. I guess they'll be getting ready to kick us out soon.'
'I get this feeling they'll let us stay till morning.' Tristan massaged his temples. 'Don't ask how, I just get this feeling about it.'
'You've been getting a lot of feelings today,' Yugi shot him a curious glance. 'Are you sure you don't want to get some rest?'
'I told you I can't sleep until this is resolved.'
'I'm not sure I can even think straight right now,' Joey ran his fingers back through his hair, 'maybe we should all get some sleep.'
'I'm guessing Joey's idea of all will include you Jay,' Tristan shot a glance in his direction, then sighed. 'I shouldn't have let my temper get the best of me.'
'Let me guess, you're thinking that because he's a little bit messed up right now?' Joey rolled his eyes. 'Why didn't you just let Octan stick around, at least then I could have beaten some answers out of him.'
'I... I'm not sure I can really explain it.' Tristan gripped the material over his stomach. 'I just got so worked up and angry I couldn't think straight anymore. The only thing which made sense to me was the fact Octan had done wrong and he needed to be punished. Beyond that... I just don't know anymore. My head's filled with all these irrational thoughts and I'm not even sure half of them are really mine.'
'What do you mean?'
'Honestly, I don't know.' Tristan sighed again.
'Maybe you should get some sleep,' Serenity half smiled at him, 'you look exhausted.'
'I don't think I can,' he stared at a random spot on the floor, 'right now, I don't think I can sleep, no matter how much I might want to.'
'Tristan...'
'Someone should try to get through to Jay. Maybe he knows what that woman Joey saw was talking about.'
'I can do it if you like.' Serenity found herself volunteering.
'I don't know,' Joey folded his arms, 'can this guy really be trusted?'
'I wouldn't trust Octan as far as I could throw him, but Jay's a good kid. He had no idea what his other half was up to and I think his shock over the matter is understandable.' Tristan ran his fingers back through his hair. 'Octan really betrayed him. It would be like the Pharaoh betraying Yugi or something. I don't think any of us can really imagine how much that must hurt.'
'Then maybe I should be the one to talk to him,' Yugi half smiled. 'I mean, I'm probably the only one who can even come close to understanding...'
'But I want to do it.' Serenity shook her head. 'I know I don't really understand what's going on here but... I think he just needs someone to reach out to him. I'd like to be the one to do that. Besides you three are all exhausted, I've at least had some sleep. So why don't you take Téa's lead and get some shut eye before dawn decides to show its ugly head; leave Jay to me.'
The hand on his shoulder felt like a strange kind of comfort. It was enough for him to focus his gaze on the person stood right in front of him, rather than the one living in the back of his mind. The pretty little brunette had a strange smile on her face and a concerned look in her eyes. There had only ever been one other girl he knew who could smile like that and for a few moments he half thought he was looking at Taylorna, but that was just wishful thinking. In truth this girl looked very little his old girlfriend and the thought in and of itself was a sad one.
'You are Jay, right?' The girl's voice was light and slightly lilted.
'Right, I guess this must be a little confusing for you,' he attempted to smile, 'to go from Octan to me like this, must make you think I'm crazy or something.'
'It's a little strange, but I think I understand what's happening. My name's Serenity.'
'Pretty, but then so are you.'
'Thanks,' she blushed and half turned away from him. 'So do you understand what's going on or...?'
'Octan stopped me from being able to see what was going on whilst he was talking to Tristan. I remember the swap out, then I was just hanging out in the usual dark limbo I'm in when Octan doesn't want me to know something. Next thing I know I'm being hurtled out of there and pinned up against a wall by Tristan.'
'So you really had no idea what Octan was up to?'
'None. What Tristan told me came as a huge shock.' Jay turned his head away from her. 'I'm not totally sure I want to believe it, but I don't think I have a choice.'
His eyes turned around the room for a moment. Most of the other occupants were either sleeping or staring vacantly into space. Tristan fell into the latter category. He looked pensive and spaced out at the same time; not that Jay could really blame him. Since the moment they'd met Jay had sensed there was more to him than just being a Nethher unfortunate enough to have been temporarily turned into an ammovate. But what that more was Jay didn't even know if Tristan knew yet. Still it was going to be pretty interesting to find out.
'So who is everybody?' Jay focused his gaze back on her. 'I mean, Octan got all the introductions earlier, I didn't.'
'Well the two girls sleeping on the chairs are Mai and Téa. The guy in the bed is Duke. The red head's Yugi and the blond's my brother Joey.'
'The Lutoni... but he's supposed to be with Cat.' Jay hesitated at his own words even as they came out of his mouth. 'I guess he was with her until... I can't believe Octan really did...'
'You care a lot about Catilin, don't you?' Serenity frowned for a moment.
'Yeah, I do. I know I shouldn't but I can't help it. She's like this... this infectious ball of joy. And yeah I know she's a little... unstable at times, but... I just wanna take care of her.'
'Do you like taking care of people?'
'It's what I've spent my whole life doing,' an almost sad little smile pulled at his lips. 'A brother should always take care of his sister no matter what the cost. I mean, I know Cat's not my sister, but... I would protect her in the same way I protected Roxanna in a heartbeat.'
'So Catilin's like a little sister to you?'
'No, she's more than that,' the words were out of Jay's mouth before he could stop them, 'but... but I... I mean...' he gave a nervous cough. 'I'm... I'm dead so... the only thing she can be to me is a sister.'
Serenity placed a hand on his arm and shot him a sympathetic smile. Again the smile itself reminded him a lot of Taylorna, but it was still just the smile. The girl herself was too timid and quiet to be anything like his old girlfriend. The fact they shared the same smile was just a coincidence; a comfort Jay's mind needed because his whole world was falling apart.
'We'll find a way to help Catilin, I promise.'
'I know we will, it's just...' Jay gave a heavy sigh. 'I know Octan and I don't always get on. That we've had more than our fair share of fights and whatever since my death, but... I trusted him completely. I didn't see any reason not to. He was like a big brother to me,' he wrapped his arms around himself, 'but now...'
'I guess this must be really hard for you.'
'Hard... I don't even know if hard even touches what this is for me. How could he do this?'
'He did it for the same reason I flipped out and told you,' Tristan got up from his seat and lumbered towards them, 'sometimes things eat away at you so much all sense of rational thought just flies out of your head. Okay, I don't like or trust the guy one little bit, but... I think he does genuinely care about you. You know, in his own sick and twisted little way.'
'I wish that was more comforting.'
'Funny, I kind of wish it was less,' Tristan half turned away from him. 'Look, I know you're probably going to forgive Octan for what he did eventually, but I personally hope eventually takes a long time. I might not be feeling as irrational about it as I was before, but... what he did still really gets to me. I can't just forget about it and I don't want you to either. In fact... I think you should insist on always being in control... at least for a little while. At least until he earns your trust back. And I definitely don't think you should let him keep you in the dark about anything anymore.'
'Oh don't worry; if he ever sees the other side of my body again it'll be too soon. Because that's the thing,' Jay gritted his teeth, 'it is my body. Dead or not it's my body and my face he used to do these things. That's what makes it even worse, if that's even possible at this point. He didn't just hurt Cat; he used me in order to do it. If I could hit him I would.'
'You're allowed to be angry about this Jay,' Tristan's gaze flicked towards him, 'I know I had no right to... ruin your world like this. I know I should have just kept out of it. But...'
'It made you angry and anger isn't logical.' Jay wiped the half formed tears away from his eyes. 'That was the first thing Octan said to me when I died. But the funny thing is, this is the first time I've ever allowed myself to be angry. I don't like the feeling and I think I know now why I used to push it away. I don't want to be angry, but I have to be, don't I?'
'You don't have to be anything,' Serenity shook her head. 'If you don't want to be angry about this then don't.'
'But that would mean forgiving Octan. And maybe I don't want to be angry, but I don't want to forgive him either. So I'm stuck, aren't I?' Jay's hyena-like laughter burst almost hysterically out of him. 'I can't forgive so I have to be angry.'
