Guess who has a big paper to write before the semester ends and is instead writing fic. Whoops, it's me!
Edward:
I was in a daze as Tanya lead me through the house and showed me what was new. The wall separating the unused kitchen from the living room had been torn out to make the space feel larger and more open, and the main bathroom upstairs had been redone. I had listened as Bella and Carlisle ran off to go hunting, ignoring Tanya's speech about how the light fell better into the larger living room without the wall.
"Edward?" she said, pulling me from my reverie. She had released my arm once we'd made it into the house, but now placed her hand on my shoulder to get my attention. At the physical contact, her thoughts seemed louder in my head. She was disappointed that I wasn't paying attention, and I resolved to be less rude.
"I'm sorry," I said. "I'm feeling a little spaced out after driving for so long," I lied.
She believed me and smiled her forgiveness. I know the feeling, she assured me. Being by yourself for too long can drive anyone stir crazy, huh?
I laughed once, because what she said had been unintentionally very true. She was referring to long boring stretches in cars, but I was thinking about all the years I'd been slow-cooking my loneliness into the deep pessimism I still couldn't shake.
Tanya quirked her head, wondering what I'd found funny.
"Nothing," I said, "Just thinking that stir crazy is the perfect description for how I feel."
She smiled at me, and her mind jumped to things she could do to help me relax. I braced myself for the crude images I often got from the Tanya and her sisters, but was surprised to see that her ideas ranged more through her favorite places to run in the area, and the nicest places in the town nearby. Of course, just as I had a second to appreciate her considerate thoughts, there was the briefest flash of Tanya and me in her luxurious bed upstairs.
I sighed. "And for a second I thought you weren't going to think it," I said, rolling my eyes.
Tanya laughed, a little awkwardly but she was too self-assured and confident to truly be embarrassed. "It was just a thought," she defended playfully, but she couldn't stop herself from thinking that it was only 'just a thought' until I said yes, at which point she would be more than willing to make it a reality.
"Tanya," I sighed, frustrated. "I'm flattered, but my answer now is the same it was when we last saw each other, and the time before that. I just don't want to pursue that kind of relationship with you," I explained as gently as I could, not mentioning that I was pursuing exactly that kind of relationship with someone else. Well, maybe not exactly the same type of relationship. Tanya wanted me, that I knew well and she had no intention of hiding, but her feelings for me were shallow and based entirely on lust. She didn't love me, and I hadn't ever loved her. She just didn't feel that a lack of true feelings should stand between us having fun with each other. I did.
Tanya accepted my rejection with the same grace she had the other times. I could tell that it stung her to be let down again, and for a second, I saw that she wanted to get rid of her little crush on me so that she wouldn't be disappointed again, but she covered those thoughts up immediately, and I pretended she had caught them fast enough that I hadn't heard them. I felt bad hurting Tanya's feelings, even though these particular feelings weren't deep to begin with and I knew she would bounce back easily.
Keeping her mind occupied on only the house and its updates, she guided me upstairs to the redone bathroom. It was much nicer than I remembered it being before, and a large air-jet bath had replaced the clawfoot tub that had been there before. As I looked at the new bath, easily large enough for two people– which was probably the point– Tanya's mind flashed with thoughts of her conquests there before she could stop them.
"Sorry!" she said before I'd even managed to react. "I'm going to have to work on controlling my thoughts. It's not something I've had to worry about for a while," she said sheepishly. In her mind, I could see that she was worried about making me too uncomfortable and annoying me, and she genuinely wanted to rein in the unruly thoughts that she was afraid would bother me.
"Don't worry about it," I told her. "I can't possibly expect everyone to control their thoughts around me all the time." She smiled, and I added, "Besides, no matter what you think about, I've seen worse."
She seemed startled at my teasing her. "Why Edward," she gasped, over exaggerating the sound. "Was that a challenge?" she asked with a devious smirk.
"No," I said firmly, regret and fear running cold through me. "No. No, Tanya. It wasn't. Please, God, it was not a challenge."
She laughed at me. "Oh please, Edward, I was kidding," she said with a smirk.
I laughed too, relieved more than anything. "Thank Heaven for that," I muttered.
Downstairs, we heard everyone else perk up at the sound of another car turning onto the drive. We both listened in as well, Tanya just with her ears, and I with my gift. Emmett's thoughts were loud, as they always were. He was already thinking about his reunion with Rose, and the much longer coming reunion with our cousins. Jasper's thoughts were quieter, but his too had a tone of anticipation and a quiet need to see Alice again. He'd worried vaguely about her being alone with the newborn, but when she said they'd be fine and asked him to trust her, he had accepted her assurance and went along with her decision.
Their thoughts reminded me of the eagerness I'd felt to see Bella when I had arrived, and I forced down the twinge of envy I felt at them for the ease of their situations compared to mine.
With only a glance at each other to agree, Tanya and I went back downstairs to greet my brothers. Jasper was driving now after Emmett had driven the first half of the trip, and he parked the car next to mine. When they got out, Emmett embraced Rose and swung her around in a hug, while Alice and Jasper barely joined hands and communicated their love through Jasper's gift.
"Welcome!" Tanya said, giving Emmett a far less enthusiastic hug once he'd put Rose down, and shaking Jasper's hand in deference to his feelings about personal space. She seemed far more concerned with respecting Jasper's personal space than mine, I noticed. Kate and Irina followed their sister in greeting the guests, and Carmen and Eleazar welcomed them with kind words but without the physical affections.
"I'm starved!" Emmett announced almost immediately. "Do you guys have anything good to eat up here?" he asked the three blonde sisters.
"Of course!" Tanya answered. "I was already thinking of giving Edward here a tour of the recent hunting grounds," she said, looking over her shoulder at me and winking conspicuously. "Perhaps we could all go together instead."
Emmett laughed at Tanya's display. So nobody's asked about you and Bella yet, huh? He accused. I flashed him a glare, and he caught my meaning.
"That sounds like a great idea!" Alice answered for us all. Of course, she could already see the route Tanya would take us on, so the trip would be redundant for her and now me, but Alice liked the idea of a little family outing and glared at me when I considered sitting it out, thus popping out of her visions.
Esme opted to stay behind with the rest of the Denali coven while my siblings and I left with Tanya. As we began to run, I wondered if we would meet Bella and Carlisle out in the woods. Alice had the same thought, and checked to satisfy her own curiosity. It seemed we wouldn't run into them, and I sighed disappointedly.
Alice caught the noise and glanced at me. Don't worry, she said. It looks like they're going to beat us home, so you'll see her as soon as we get back.
It already seemed like too long.
Tanya has a bit of a one-track mind, in case you couldn't tell. I guess Edward has a fairly one-track mind too, but there's nobody around to read his and give him a hard time for constantly thinking about Bella.
