Five Years Later

Chapter 54

Hannah looked at Mike a bit suspiciously when he was come out wearing his suit and Medal of Honor pin. She was wearing the dress and shoes that he and Polly had gotten for her and looked adorable. Polly came in early to help her with her hair and make-up, even bringing her some new, lighter make up. It was more in keeping with what a fourteen year old should wear and Dad approved. Polly and Gabby were also dressed up and Ryan came in wearing his dress uniform. She thought it was all for Jeremy. Grace took the boys to school and agreed to pick them up if things ran late. Tom had texted that he and the President were en route and would be there at ten am on the dot. There would be no media there thankfully.

Hannah was focusing on Jeremy and communicating with him. As soon as President Oliver and Tom walked in, she stood up and Jeremy tried to "stand" at attention. She interpreted for Jeremy so that he could be a part of the conversation. They were holding the ceremony up so Jeremy's Marine buddy, Trent Nelson and his wife and boys could get there. He'd worked the overnight shift and was moving slow.

When Trent and his family came in, Jeremy was practically shaking with excitement. They had been battle buddies and were just as close as brothers, much like Tom and Mike. The actual ceremony was fairly informal, with just Mike, Polly, Ryan, Hannah, Gabby, and the Nelson family, Tom, Peter and the President. There was also a photographer there that the President had brought. Jeremy had been made aware of Hannah being awarded too and wanted to be there.

The President called for Hannah and she looked at Mike suspiciously. She was just thrilled that Jeremy was getting the long overdue commendations and would have no financial concerns. Mike and Tom had followed her up. She seemed a little shocked by everything.

"Now, Hannah, I was told about everything that you've done for Jeremy. Bringing your dad here caught his attention and then Jeremy's situation was brought to my attention. Had it not been for what you did, this brave Marine would have died in poverty and without his proper commendations. We've all agreed that you also deserve to be commended too. This is called the 'Citizen's Medal of Honor.' I can't think of anyone more deserving of this. Jeremy got his Medal of Honor for saving lives and you are getting yours for helping him. I could and probably should be the one to place this around your neck, but I'm giving that honor to your very proud dad. Admiral Slattery?"

Mike couldn't have been prouder as he tied the ribbon around her neck and kissed the back of her head. She was in shock. He turned her around and gave her a massive bear hug. Several of the veteran's had filed into the day room to congratulate Hannah and Jeremy both. She had done a lot to help several of them and they had brought flowers, boxes of candy and several trinkets. She thanked all of them. Most of her attention went to interpreting for Jeremy so he was a part of all the conversations. She had given Polly the medal for safekeeping.

President Oliver had another appearance and left soon after. Trent and his family were going to stay and visit with Jeremy and the others. His wife knew some sign language so they didn't necessarily need Hannah to interpret. They said their goodbyes to everyone and met outside to discuss lunch options. Hannah wanted barbeque again but they found a restaurant online that was a bit more age appropriate for her. Tom made several cracks about Mike taking his daughter to a bar.

Lunch was light hearted. Gabby apparently had decided that she liked Tom. He was getting plenty of practice in holding her; he just refused to change her diaper. Hannah was still a bit shell shocked and stayed fairly quiet. She did tell Polly that her head was hurting a bit and she alerted Mike. Ryan was also wearing down and they cut their visit short. The ride home was quiet because both Hannah and Ryan fell asleep. Gabby always slept in the vehicle so it was nothing out of the ordinary.

After picking up his truck at Polly's and leaving them there, he dropped Ryan off with Maggie and picked the boys up. He took Max back to Polly and headed home. Hannah had fallen back asleep and seemed dazed when he woke her up. She went into her bedroom, changed clothes and fell back asleep on her bed.

Mike checked on her an hour later and covered her with a blanket. He laid the box with the medal on her dresser. The flowers, candy and trinkets were on the dining room table. He was immensely proud of her and was also very worried about her. She had told Polly that she didn't feel she deserved any of it. Matty was occupied playing with his building blocks and so he decided to write Hannah a note. It was how he felt he communicated best with her.

"Hannah,

I know you are a bit shocked by what all went on today. You don't feel that you deserve it? You helped Jeremy and judging by all the gifts on the dining table, several people. That makes you deserving in my eyes.

You have no idea how much of a gift you are to people, but most of all to me. You have been since the day you were born. I never deserved you but thank God every day that He saw fit to give you to me. I feel the same way about the other kids but I am especially thankful for you.

I have made a lot of mistakes where you're concerned. Too many to count and too many to be forgiven for but yet you do. That is why you were deserving of all this. I overstepped the other night when you and I were talking. I was hurt and felt I needed to communicate that to you. I ended up hurting you in the process. You may spend the rest of your life wondering if you and I are 'okay' because of how I treated you and some of the things I said. I regret that and I hate myself for it.

I very nearly lost you a couple different times in the past month. Saturday when Polly was braiding your hair I realized how close I came and I started imagining my life without you in it. I didn't like it. Not in the slightest. I've taken you for granted, not loved you the way you deserved to be loved, been downright mean to you at times, and you always loved me even when I didn't deserve the love.

I absolutely loved the time that I had with you Saturday. It is something that will be repeated. Except the bar. That won't be happening again! You do not have to want barbeque on my account. I just wanted to spend time with you and I want that again. I'll eat wherever you want to.

I am so, so, so sorry for how I treated you the other night. You deserved better than that.

I love you,

Daddy"

Mike took the note into Hannah's room and sit it on her dresser next to the Medal. She was sound asleep but had kicked her way out of the blanket. He tucked it back around her and headed back into the living room, sitting down to play with Matty. Grace wasn't due home for a little while and he would start supper in a little while. He wanted to spend a little time with Matty even if it was just building towers. He had noticed he was a little quiet.

"You okay with everything Matty? You're quiet."

"Yeah, I'm okay. I know when you and Polly get married, Max and me will share a room and I like that but I'm really gonna miss not being able to spend time with you." Mike pulled Matty onto his lap and wrapped his arms around him.

"You'll still be able to. I will still tuck you in and will stay with you until you go to sleep. And if you get sick or you're scared, you can stay with Polly and I. The door maybe closed but if you knock on it we will let you in. You just have to knock and wait on her or I. Same will go for Max. All you have to do is ask me for time with you and you'll have it. Matty, I love you very much and you and I are still getting to know each other. We need those times when you curl up on my lap or fall asleep in my arms. You need them and so do I. Polly knows it too and she won't get upset if you need me. I promise. I don't want you to ever hesitate to ask for me. It's important that you do. And there will be times that I will ask for you. When I need you. Okay?"

"Okay, Daddy. I love you too. I was just scared you wouldn't want me to give you hugs anymore."

"I will always want hugs. That won't ever change. As old as Grace is, I love it when she gives me a hug. Hannah too. It makes me really happy."

"Okay. But I'm a boy. You may not always want them."

"I bet I will. My dad didn't give me hugs and when Grace was born he made fun of me for giving her kisses. I didn't like it very much and I always wanted to make sure and give my own kids plenty of hugs and kisses. Even you boys. I gave lots of hugs and kisses to Lucas and I will with you and Max. I always wondered if my dad loved me and I refuse for you guys to wonder that."

"That's really sad, I'm sorry. I know you love me but I do really like it when you hug me. It makes me feel all warm and happy."

"You don't have anything to be sorry for. And it makes me feel warm and happy when you hug me too. I need to start supper but I would really love to have one of those hugs right now." Matty gave him a huge smile and threw his arms around Mike's neck and kissed his cheek. Mike held him for a couple minutes. It just felt good. He finally pulled away but gave Matty a kiss on the cheek. Somehow they started tickling one another. There were times that he would tickle Matty to just hear him laugh. It reminded him of Lucas' laugh. And his smile was identical to Christine's. He picked Matty up, carried him to the couch, laid him down and started blowing raspberries on Matty's cheek which really caused him to giggle.

"Alright, Matty, I really need to get supper going. Want to help?"

"Yeah! This was fun."

"Yep, it was. Mac and Cheese and chicken sound good?"

'Yeah! And the girls will want green stuff."

"Salad? Yeah, girls like that stuff. And it's good for all of us." Mike picked Matty up and carried him into the kitchen sitting him on the counter. Hannah came out looking slightly dazed but gave Mike a hug. He could tell she read his note but had also just woke up judging by her hair.

"I love you, Daddy, so, so much. Can we both just agree to move past Friday? What I said, what you said in response? I deserved what was said, but you didn't deserve what I said. That's why I didn't think I deserved that Medal today."

"You deserved it because of what you have done for Jeremy, that happened long before Friday. The plan was in place last week before everything. We can both move on but just know you didn't deserve some of the things that I said Friday night. As the adult and your dad, I should have known better. I was speaking out of a place of pain and hurt. Of the two of us, I deserved what was said more so. But I agree, we need to move away from it. I love you too, very much."

She nodded at him and he turned his attention back to supper. Matty was still sitting on the counter playing with the lettuce. He apparently thought it would make a good ball to play with. Hannah finally got it away from him to wash it while Mike was cooking, she would make the salad.

"Hey, Hannah, you know what Daddy told me?"

"What, Matty?"

"He said that when we give him hugs it makes him warm and happy inside."

"Did he now?"

"Yep. It means we need to give Daddy lots of hugs."

"I agree. But he's already plenty happy."

"He can always be more happier."

"Guys, I'm right here! I'll take all the hugs you both want to give. And I am plenty happy now but that doesn't mean I don't want hugs. I love your hugs and I love both of you!" Both Hannah and Matty looked at each other and Matty jumped into Mike's arms and Hannah wrapped both of them in a big hug. Grace walked into the middle of everything and Mike pulled her in. She was confused but accepting of the hug. Mike finally sit Matty down and pulled away from both girls after kissing both of them on the forehead.

"I'm kind of confused now?" Grace had sit down on one of the bar stools at the island.

"Daddy told me that when we give him hugs it makes him happy inside so me and Hannah were making sure he was happy. Thanks for helpin' us, Gracie! Daddy, can you lift me down so I can play with my blocks. I don't want to cook now." Mike laughed and lifted Matty down onto the floor, giving him another kiss before Matty ran off. Hannah had finished the salad and headed into the living room with Matty. Grace was fidgeting.

"What's going on with you?"

"I tried to walk into my apartment by myself. I couldn't. Will I ever be able to?"

"Oh, sweetie. You should have called. I would have gone with you."

"I need to be able to go by myself. I know you said that you all would stay with me the first night and you would check everything over before you left when I was there by myself but I need to be able to walk in by myself too."

"I understand. My offer stands, if you want to move into another apartment or house, I will help. Or if you need to stay here longer, I will love having you. You have more strength than anyone I know and I won't think less of you for needing something else."

"I can't explain it, I need to live there. I just can't figure out how to get past this."

"I don't know, sweetie. I wish I did. I will respect any decision you make. And I love having you here. I know you feel you need to move out to give Hannah and Matty a chance to properly bond with me but you are a part of my family and I don't want you sitting in that apartment scared."

"I know. It's more practical than that too. You'll need the bedroom for Gabby. Not that I mind sharing."

"We can figure something out. Seriously, I don't want you to not feel that you aren't a part of this family. Polly and I are working a schedule out to where we both spend some time with each of you guys. We already have our schedule worked out for you and I to have lunch twice a week and dinner as a family on Sunday nights. I know you'll have college classes and an actual life now but I do want you to feel you can ask for some more time if you feel you need it."

"Thanks, Daddy. I love you. I am looking forward to having time to myself but I am not going to like eating alone and being alone so much. I think maybe that's what I'm more scared of. You and Polly and the kids will be here every night, eating all your meals together and I will be at college classes and eating TV dinners because I don't want to cook for myself. Ryan is taking some classes too and so we won't see each other as much. It'll just be lonely; I think that's what worries me."

"Well you are more than welcome to come out here anytime you want to eat. Don't think it just has to be on Sundays. You are a part of this family, a very important part. We all love you and don't want you to be lonely. I love you the most though. Alec and I are meeting and going over the details of the investigation and will be checking your apartment over tomorrow. When you're ready, it'll be ready. Polly and I will be away Saturday night obviously but any night you want us there, we'll be there. If you want that?"

"Yeah, I still want to move back. I think I will feel better once you've gone back through the apartment. Can you put a deadbolt on that back entrance? It's how they got in. I know Alec feels bad about it."

"Yep. That is on the agenda for tomorrow. Also putting a chain on the front door. Anything else you can think of?"

"I think I may get some heavier blinds when I get my next paycheck. Can you put them up for me?"

"How about I get the blinds and you just pay me back? I don't really care if you do or not but I know you feel it's important."

"I really hate to ask that of you."

"Grace, you can pay me back if you want to. I don't care if you do or don't. Now that you've mentioned the blinds, I know you're nervous about them and I will make me worry. So let me go ahead and get them. I would guess you're taking Hannah's old room?"

"Yeah. That way I don't have to buy a new bed. I didn't figure she'll care. You can take Matty's old bed for Max. I won't need it."

"He may want to stay with you occasionally, besides Polly will have plenty of furniture to incorporate. I'm not worried. I just want to make sure that you have what you need there."

"Okay. I'm saving money for a laptop and printer for classes. And don't get any ideas, Dad!"

"Would I do that? You do have a birthday coming up."

"Yes, you do. And it's too extravagant of a gift. I didn't realize how expensive college was."

"Do you need help?"

"I'm good right now but if I make it through the summer classes and sign up for the regular semester, the books are crazy expensive. I don't want a lot of debt, mostly because I don't know what to I want to be when I grow up. I do need you to do something else preferably before I move back to the apartment?"

"If things were normal, I would be helping you with college textbooks so I can help you. You don't have to do it on your own. What do you need me to do?"

"You'd mentioned self-defense?"

"And you want a couple lessons before you move in?"

"Yeah, if you don't mind?"

"You got it. Ribs and arm okay? I don't want to hurt you."

"Yeah, twinges every now and then but mostly okay."

"Okay. One of the things I'll do is come at you from behind and I won't warn you. Just be prepared. It might scare you."

"Which is why I need you to do that. I'll know it's you and you won't really hurt me."

"I won't hurt you but I will probably not speak either. I will need to simulate your attack as far as how they got the upper hand. It won't be pleasant but it's something you need. And I will absolutely not hurt you."

"That's why I'm asking you. I know you won't."

"Alright. Well dinner is ready. Hannah, Matty?"

"Daddy, thank you. I love you."

"I love you too, sweetie. C'mon, guys."

Supper was a fun affair with Hannah telling about Mike accidently taking her to a bar. Matty didn't quite understand what was so funny about it. The girls cleaned supper up while Mike bathed Matty and got him geared down for bedtime. After reading, cuddling, hugs and kisses, Matty fell asleep. Both girls also headed to bed and Mike locked the house up and went to bed himself. It had been an exhausting day.