The Psychic, The Swordsman, and The Sorcerer

Chapter 54

I don't own Naruto (Masashi Kishimoto), X-Men (Marvel Comics in association with 20th Century Fox), Zorro (public domain despite what Zorro Production Inc. would like you to believe), or Harry Potter (J.K. Rowling in association with Warner Bros. Studios). Fun Fact: In the Mask of Zorro, in the confrontation between Alejandro and Captain Love at the end of the film the shot of the sun reflecting on the blade was not CGI. It took three takes for Antonio Banderas to get the right angle without taking his eyes off of Matt Letscher, the actor who played Captain Love.

"I despise all of you," Kakashi glared during the latest meeting of Team Seven as he looked at the ashes now in his hand, "I never had trouble with my books before I became your teacher."

"That's fair," Zorro shrugged, while Sakura didn't seem to care and Sasuke seemed to be waiting to be told what they were going to be doing for the day.

"You're all dismissed for the day," the said flatly, "I need to get to the bookstore and get a new book. We'll meet up tomorrow."

"That's rather harsh of you, sensei," Sakura noted, "But, if you insist..."

With that, they all departed, content to be left to their own devices.

"So, what are you planning on doing, Sasuke?" Sakura asked, hovering beside the Uchiha.

"Bit of shopping," he replied, "Itachi agreed to take me to a magical shop for some supplies and books once he was done signing up for a job at the School."

"That should do him some good," she nodded, "Well, I don't have any plans for the day. Mind if I join you?"

"Even if I did, I couldn't exactly stop you," he shrugged, "Come on. We can get some snacks on the way."

As the pair continued on their way, heading towards the sweet shop whose owner had cunningly chosen a location near the school in question, Itachi was in the middle of a job interview.


"Alright, Itachi," Iruka said, smiling serenely, "Your credentials as a shinobi are beyond reproach, but I need to ask you a few questions before I decide on hiring you..."

"If any of them have to do with my pranking days, I'll just go now..." Itachi replied nervously.

Iruka stared at Itachi, who managed to maintain a deadpan expression for three minutes before the chuunin instructor-turned-headmaster took the list off the top of his pile and tossed it aside petulantly, before saying, "Alright. I still have some questions that need to be asked. The Sandaime is a great man, but some of the people he hired were not... well they didn't work out very well, for all sorts of reasons. Heh. Some people even thought that one of the classrooms was cursed. Good news, though, is that the room in question was destroyed in the demolition. Incidentally, what do you think of the renovations? I think the castle is a bit ostentatious, but the stairs that shift seem to be teaching the students to stay focused and there was a lot of room for Fluffy, so..."

"I wish we had this when I was a student," Itachi replied honestly, "Would've been great training."

"Now that we've gotten that out of the way, on to the questions," Iruka said, "Have you ever intentionally harmed someone under your care?"

"No," Itachi replied, causing Iruka to mark that down.

"Have you ever tried to harm someone under your care?" Iruka asked.

"I've tried not to," he responded.

"Have you ever acted against Konoha's best interests?"

"No."

"Do you have any plans to kill any member or members of the student body of this campus?"

"What?!" Itachi asked in shock, "No!"

"Do you have any plans to join any enemies of Konoha at any point in time?"

"No."

"Have you ever knowingly worked with anyone who was acting against Konoha's best interest?"

"No."

"Are you a better prankster than me?"

"No..." Itachi said, having unintentionally gotten caught in a repetitive cycle, "Wait a minute!"

"Too late! No take-backs!" Iruka smirked, "Now, do you agree to take care of any students under your care and teach them to the best of your abilities?"

"Absolutely," he nodded.

"Then you're hired," Iruka said, signing a form, before handing it to Itachi, "Here's your contract, here's your classroom key, now please sign the contract."

Being an excellent speed reader, Itachi read the entire document through and decided he had no problem with any of the requirements or the like. Once he'd signed the document and Iruka had stamped it, copied it, and put the original in his files, Itachi said, "You realize I'm going to get you back for that second to last question..."

"As long as it doesn't interfere with the students' education, you're free to try," Iruka replied.

"Sounds fair to me," Itachi shrugged, holding out his hand for his new employer to shake. Once Iruka gripped the hand, however, he received a mild shock as Itachi smirked, "Joy buzzer. Always a classic. I'd recommend we both stop here. I don't think either of us want the Hokage to intervene like the one that I heard happened when you and Anko had a minor prank war..."

Iruka inwardly shuddered at the memory of what the Hokage had done. With that, Itachi left, eager to tell his brother the good news.


Meanwhile, in the Hokage Tower, an important meeting was taking place.

"Sensei," Jiraiya said, "One of my messengers sent some disturbing news of a new group of potential hostiles."

"Who are they?" Hiruzen asked, locking eyes with his pupil, "Is Orochimaru involved?"

"No," he replied, "These guys refused to invite him because he's so obsessed with becoming a wizard and abandoning his current body. They think he's 'abandoning his true heritage' or something like that."

"What do they mean by that?"

"Mutants," Jiraiya replied, "They're trying to gather up evil mutants in some sort of brotherhood sort of scenario. They're led by a man who wants to get rid of all humans and let mutants take their 'rightful place' as rulers of the earth. According to him, humanity does nothing but cause pain and war, so humans should be supplanted."

"What do they call themselves?" Hiruzen asked.

"They call themselves..." Jiraiya said grimly, "The Akatsuki."