I know, its been over a week. I had finals, and took up extra shifts at work, and then I came home and legit didn't open my laptop in four days, I just read the entire time. Anyway, here's an extra long chapter to make up for it. (Its actually the reason it took so long- I've been working on this since last Wednesday, there was just so much that needed to be told. Hope I did it service.

Empty Chairs at Full Tables

The door slammed against the stone wall, heavy and loud. Merlin was expecting it, but he still had to hold back a wince at the anger in the action.

"I can't believe you!" Arthur didn't even turn around as he yelled, throwing his cloak on the chair with so much force that chair tipped over. This time Merlin couldn't hold back the wince.

"Arthur-" he started. Arthur spun around, anger all over his face.

"Don't." Arthur said, dangerously quiet, as if he hadn't been yelling a moment before.

Merlin stopped.

Arthur took a step closer to Merlin. The firelight behind them cast dancing shadows over his features. He still looked angry, but there was something more there- confusion maybe, or regret.

"What, Merlin, was that?" He demanded, gesturing to the door they had just walked through, back to the large throne room where a Round Table stood with one chair too many.

"Arthur-" Merlin started to speak again, but Arthur cut him off just as before.

"I mean, I thought I made myself rather clear, Merlin." Arthur stated, his voice still low, full of a quiet temper. "I know you're not always the brightest, but even you should know what a chair pulled out for you means. So why exactly did you feel you are able to ignore the command of your King, Merlin, and not sit in the bloody seat?!" He was even closer now, arms spread raised in exasperation. His eyes wide, staring at his manservant and demanding answers.

Merlin wrung his hands nervously. "Arthur." He began. He floundered for a moment, trying to figure out what he could say. "Arthur I can't sit there." He gave Arthur a beseeching look, which Arthur shook his head at, stepping away from Merlin. He moves instead toward his bedpost, hands curled into a fist.

"What, are you allergic to the wood?" Arthur snorted, but there's no humor behind his words.

"You know that's not it." Merlin almost snapped; an angry pit was starting to build in his throat but he pushed it away- both of them angry would resolve nothing.

"Then what is it, Merlin!?" Arthur did snap, the questions and concerns and anger that had festered through the entire meeting bursting through those five words. "Enlighten me, to why you couldn't possibly sit at the table." He was shouting again now, his words filling the room.

"I'm your manservant Arthur!" Merlin yelled right back, giving into his own anger in his effort to make Arthur see.

"Who was invited by the bloody king himself to sit down!" They're both screaming now, their words echoing off the walls.

"That doesn't matter!" Merlin regrets the words the instant he says them. Arthur actually pauses for a second, taken aback.

"It doesn't matter." He repeats icily. "I invited you to sit down- right beside me- but that doesn't matter."

"You're the king, Sire." Merlin almost whispered the words, but Arthur heard them all the same. "You're the king and a king's manservant is expected to be-" His voice trailed off, unsure how to continue. How could he explain to Arthur that he had to stay behind him for this, when they had always walked side by side in Camelot? How could he explain that he was doing this as much for Arthur as he was for himself?

He had been so tempted for a half second when Arthur had offered him the chair. But he knew what this table meant to Arthur, to all of his friends- equality, new beginnings, trust. Merlin knew he couldn't bear to sit there in a place that meant so much to all of them, living a lie.

Arthur wanted him to sit there as a trusted friend, the man who had been through so much with him. But Merlin couldn't- not while he was still hiding half of his life from them.

I'm sorry Arthur. He wants to say. I'm not who you think I am. I can't sit there- not at that Round Table, not while I'm still lying to everyone every day. Not as just your manservant.

"The lords are angry enough about tradesmen sitting with them." Is what he says instead, not meeting Arthur's gaze. "Having a servant sit with them- that would be too much, Arthur. They won't like it."

"I'm the King, they don't have to like it." Arthur snapped. "They can learn to appreciate that you are sitting in on the meetings or they can find themselves a new kingdom to advise."

"Arthur you can't run off your advisors just because they don't agree with you." 'You're not Uther' went unsaid.

"Watch me." Arthur said tersely. "Guinevere was a servant, and they don't mind her being Queen."

"Guinevere was never just a servant, Arthur, and everyone knew it."

"Neither are you!" The words explode out of Arthur. Merlin would normally tease him for that- they never are open like that, the two of them- but he can tell this was not the time. Arthur is gripping the chair so tightly his knuckles are white and the air between them is still thick with tension.

Arthur barrels on, not giving Merlin a chance to respond. "You were there every time I went to save or defend Camelot, Merlin! You guessed about Agravaine before anyone else did, you gave Gwaine a chance when no one else would, and Lancelot-" He paused here, as Merlin's breath hitched. Everything that had happened with Lancelot was still to raw to mention him without grief. For half a breath, everything that had happened in the throne room was forgotten as they remembered their shared grief for their fallen friend.

When Arthur continued, his voice was still firm, but his tone was softer. More pleading than demanding. "You knew about Guinevere and I before anyone else, Merlin. You have never cared about status or bloodlines or tradition. If it weren't for you, there wouldn't be a Round Table, Merlin."

The lump in Merlin's throat grew. "Don't exaggerate." He joked weakly, trying to look away, but Arthur held his gaze. The firelight that had cast shadows before now lit up his face entirely bathing it in a warm glow.

"You know I'm not." Arthur said, quiet and serious. All anger was gone from his voice now, he was looking at Merlin the same way he did when Merlin had been nearly killed by Morgana's outlaws or the doreacha. For a moment, Merlin felt like he was dying, knowing what he had to say next.

"Arthur." He almost chokes on the words, but keeps going. "I can't. You know I can't." He feels as if something between the breaks with those words- another brick added to the wall that Merlin's magic already built.

A shadow of wage marred Arthur's expression. He nodded once, tersely, and then immediately spun around, letting his fist fly into the bed post with a sickening crack.

"It's not right." His voice was angry, furious, but for the first time since they entered the room the anger wasn't directed at Merlin. "You were part of the Original Round Table. You have helped save Camelot more than any other knight, let alone servant or a lord. You deserve a place at the table."

"I won't sit there, Arthur." He drops the "sire" at the last moment.

"I know." Arthur looks so incredibly tired now, running a hand through his hair. "I don't have anything else for tonight Merlin, you can go." He adds, turning away to stare into the flames.

Merlin nods, heading for the door. He's part way out before he looks back.

"Goodnight Arthur."

Arthur glances up from the flames. There are a thousand unspoken words felt between them. "Goodnight Merlin."

Merlin shuts the door gently, and makes his way back to Gaius' chambers, trying to ignore the cold feeling rising in him.

(line)

Gwen bit down on her lip when she opened the doors to Arthur's room and saw him sitting in his chair, staring out into the flames. He only did that when he was deeply upset or worried about something, and given the raised voices her lady's companion (Gwen refused to call her a maid, it was too weird) had heard earlier, she surmised that Merlin had gotten his way after all.

"Arthur" she said softly, tiptoeing into the room. Arthur turned his head, a soft smile as he saw who it was.

"Guinevere" His voice was low, and Gwen felt her cheeks grow warm. Three years and she still blushed like a country maid whenever he said her full name. "I'm sorry, I must have lost track of time."

"It's perfectly alright" Gwen said "is it alright if I come in?"

Arthur raised his eyebrows. "You hardly have to ask permission to come into your own rooms, Guinevere." He teased.

"Well, you still have to ask permission to come into mine." Gwen smirked at him, before turning serious again. "Besides, I wasn't sure if you wanted some time alone after-everything." She had chosen to go to her own set of rooms after watching Arthur storm out of the throne room, Merlin right behind him. Those two would need space to work everything out and Gwen in the room would just be a distraction. And no matter what Arthur may say, the rooms were still his primarily.

Arthur grimaced as he stood, but his eyes were full of warmth as he reached out to his wife and gathered her in a close embrace.

"You, my dear, always have permission to interrupt me, at whatever time of day." He pressed a kiss to Gwen's temple and she smiled.

They stood like that for a few moments, drinking in each other's presence. Gwen felt the tension in Arthur drain out as he tightened his arms around her.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked gently, and Arthur took a step back, sighing.

"He won't sit at the table." He stated, emotion filling his tone. "He refuses too."

Gwen sat on the edge of their bed, spreading out the crinkles absent-mindedly. "I thought he would." She admitted. She had understood Merlin's decision the moment he had shook his head- she hated it, but she understood it. She had been a servant too, one absolutely loyal to her mistress, and she had seen the looks the lords had exchanged over the past few days, the whispers following Arthur's announcement that tradesmen would be joining the council.

Merlin was one of the most loyal men she had ever known- not only to Camelot, but to Arthur. He understood that his position was one that added status to Arthur, and in a kingdom full of changes the king's authority could not be questioned. She understood it perfectly.

That didn't mean that it hadn't broken her heart to see Merlin stand away from them while they sat and preached equality, or that those pangs weren't echoing in her now as she watched her husband pace the room, grappling to come to terms with this.

"It's not fair." Arthur said plaintively, sounding like a confused child instead of a grown king. "He's done so much for this kingdom- he should be able to sit at that table, damn whatever the lords say."

Gwen reached out for his hand, but Arthur sat down next to her, leaning forward to rest his chin on his hand. Gwen slowly rubbed her arm on his back in wide circles.

"Enide came by the rooms earlier." She told him quietly. "She heard shouting."

Arthur groaned, closing his eyes as if that would make the memory go away. "I yelled at him, Guinevere. I haven't yelled at him like that since Gaius disappeared. I was just so angry."

"At Merlin?" Gwen tried not to sound disapproving- Arthur needed her support right now, not judgement.

"Yes.. no...both." Arthur admitted. "I think I knew, deep down, why he refused. I just didn't want to see it. I didn't want there to be any reason for him to refuse, wanted it to be something trivial or him being stubborn so that I could argue him out of it." His shoulders slumped, and his boots scraped the floor.

"Why can't he ever just do as he's told." Arthur chuckled but there was no energy behind it.

"He wouldn't be Merlin if he did that." Gwen smiled knowingly. "And you'd hate it, Arthur. We all saw how long George lasted." Arthur laughs again, this time real humor in it.

They sat there for a while, watching the fire die out in the embers. Gwen felt like they never got enough of these moments, just her and Arthur. Though they technically shared Arthur's room, Gwen had her own suite right next door. The demands of ruling kept them in their own rooms more often than not, answering letters, drawing up treaties and edicts, and planning events. There was a bed in Gwen's room, and a number of times a week she would sleep there, when one of them had to stay up late to finish paperwork, or when Arthur had to wake early for patrol or the odd hunt. (They had learned early on that trying to do work in the same room late at night led to them getting less work done than they could.) Gwen had a feeling that Merlin spent more time in Arthur's rooms the past few months than she had.

"I understand why he did it." Gwen admitted. "I don't like it but- in a way, he's right, for all the wrong reasons."

"I couldn't." Arthur's voice was low, almost ashamed. "Not fully, not the way you seemed to. You didn't even seem angry when he refused, just..resigned. The knights and I were ready to drag him into the chair if there hadn't been an audience, but you..weren't." He gave Gwen a searching look. "How did you know?"
"You forget, he's my best friend too." Gwen bumped Arthur's shoulder playfully. "Besides, I was a servant once too. I understand how he looks at things."

"And I love that about you." Arthur whispered, before leaning in to give her a deep kiss. "Stay with me tonight?" He breathed into her ear, and Gwen wrapped her arms around him.

"Of course." Gwen said simply, tucking her head against his chest. She would stay as long as he needed her- as long as the guilt and distress of their most trusted friend being left out of a place he deserved to be weighed down on both of their shoulders.

(line)
Merlin and Arthur were more reserved with each other than usual the next day- Merlin finishes his jobs with less chatter and Arthur lets him go once he's done, instead of insisting he help out with organizing the treasury reports or dragging him along to training. Merlin was both grateful for this and upset- he and Arthur both needed space after yesterday, to come to terms with yet another difference between them in a time where there should be less. That didn't mean the awkward civility was any less painful.

To Merlin's immense relief, Arthur did seem to have dropped the subject of him at the Round Table. Give it a few days, and it would all blow by, he reckoned as he made his way toward Gaius' chambers to see if he needed any help.

As he rounded the corner, a curtain of red stretched across the hallway in front of him. Upon hearing footsteps, the curtain turned, revealing chainmail and four distinct faces.

Merlin's lips quirked into a smile when he saw his friends, but his mood sank as he noticed that those four distinct faces had rather serious expressions on them- directed at him. He quickened his pace until he stood in front of them, concern bubbling in his chest.

"What's going on?" His tone was urgent. "Is everything ok?" At his words Gwaine's expression goes even darker, and Elyan shifts awkwardly.

"No, everything is not bloody ok!" Gwaine almost snaps at Merlin.

"What?" Merlin asked, taken aback. Looking around at the passing men and women (all of who were whispering by now) Leon pointedly shepherds the group of them off into an alcove. The ginger knight gave Gwaine a pointed look, but Gwaine turned away from him insubordinately, fixing his gaze squarely on Merlin.

"According to what Percival heard from the serving girls this morning," Gwaine continued, stepping closer to Merlin "you have decided to continue your asinine decision to not sit at the Round Table."

Merlin gaped for a moment, eyes swiveling from face to face. Only Gwaine looked outright annoyed, but Elyan was fixing Merlin with an uncharacteristically stern look and Percival and Leon both had concern in their eyes.

"This is what your on about" Merlin was incredulous. "Wait- were you waiting for me?" Percival shifted uncomfortably at this, head bobbing near the top of the alcove.

"Yes" Gwaine said stoutly just as Elyan cut in "That's not the point Merlin." He elbowed Gwaine sharply before continuing. "We just wanted to suggest you reconsider- Merlin you belong at the table. Arthur offered you a seat for a reason."

Merlin let out a sharp breath- he wasn't going to go through this twice. It was bad enough fighting with Arthur about it, he refused to be harangued in dark corners by his friends as well.

"Thank you, Elyan, but I'm not going to, so don't waste your breath trying to make me." His voice isn't even in the slightest, it's terse and full of warning. Gwaine pushes anyway.

"Don't be stupid Merlin, even the princess knows you ought to be there!" Gwaine steps forward, reaching his hand out. Merlin brushes it away.

"That isn't his decision Gwaine." Merlin glares at the four of them, face like a thundercloud. "I'm going to Gaius'. I believe you all have training you need to get to." He spins on his heel and walks quickly down the hall, ignoring the whispers of servants and nobles alike following him.

(line)

Merlin's declaration was not as grand or final as he thought it was, and over the next few days the four Knights of Camelot argue with him over and over again, each trying to persuade Merlin to "see reason." Even Galahad approaches the subject with the manservant, though a fierce look he receives at the first mention of the Round Table quells any repeated attempts.

Arthur hears all of this secondhand mostly, through the whispers of the court and what Gwen manages to pick up. Both Gwaine and Elyan try to rope Gwen into their schemes, but she refused, siding with Merlin on the matter. He does witness the tail-end of a few conversations between Merlin and whatever Knight is beseeching him at the time. They all seem to end with an angry Merlin storming off. Before long, he's spending almost all his time in Gaius' or Arthur's chambers just to avoid his friends.

Its no surprise to Arthur, therefore, when he finds himself surrounded by Elyan, Gwaine, Percival and Leon one morning outside the armory.

"You have got to put a stop to this Arthur." Gwaine stated- every one of them had picked up on Merlin's habitual refusal to call him sire when alone.

"Gwaine-" Arthur sighed.

"No, no excuses." Gwaine fumed. "The next Round Table meeting is tomorrow and Merlin is going to be in that seat."

"He doesn't want to." Arthur said evenly, crossing his arms.

"That's not true and we all know it!" Gwaine was almost shouting by now, and Percival instantly put a warning hand on his shoulder.

"We know he's concerned about the nobles, Arthur." Leon interrupts smoothly. "But they would get over it, he shouldn't have to be misplaced for their sake."

"Puffed up pea-brains" Gwaine mutters and while Arthur shoots him a stern look, Elyan and Percival aren't alone trying to hide their smiles.

"Merlin's reasons are his own." Arthur looked them all in the eyes, one by one. "He's decided not to sit at the table, and we can't change his mind."

"Yes we can, you're the King, Arthur!" Gwaine exclaimed. "Just-" Suddenly angry, Arthur snaps his head to face Gwaine, swiveling until they are perfectly parallel to another.

"Just what?" Arthur's voice is cold and even Gwaine balks slightly at it. "Command him to take a seat at the table? Use my position to force him against his will? Threaten to lock him up in the dungeons if he doesn't sit there? Is that what you want Gwaine?" The dark haired knight glances down, and Arthur fixes his gaze on Percival behind him.

"What about you Percival? Want to hold Merlin at swordpoint while I command him to take a seat at a table that symbolizes Camelot's peace and equality?" His tone is mocking and Percival finds himself also looking down. "Elyan? Leon? Either of you want the task?" He asks archly. They both shook their heads.

"Good." He says shortly. "Merlin has made his decision. I'm not going disrespect him by not honoring it." He turns to go into the armory, head and heart swirling with thoughts and emotions he's been ignoring for days now.

"Do you even care?" He hears Gwaine whispers under his breath. Arthur whirls around and he knows Gwaine didn't mean it, he knows Gwaine hates this situation and is lashing out because of it but Arthur hasn't spoken to Merlin properly in almost a week, Merlin's words during the argument circling in his mind, and he has a hundred things to get done for the kingdom that he hasn't and he has reached the breaking point.

"How can you ask that!" Arthur thunders. Gwaine shrinks back in shock and the other three step away. "He's not just your friend Gwaine, I've known him longer than you have- than anyone else here has."

He steps closer to Gwaine, fire in his eyes as he raises his finger toward the other knight, holding him hostage in his rage.

"Merlin has been beside me through more danger than anyone else has. He sat right next to me when we swore to take back Camelot the first time, and he believed in me more than anyone else when Morgana invaded the second time." Arthur feels a lump in his throat rise, but he keeps going. "Of course I wanted him next to me at that meeting. Merlin has proven himself time and time again to be the kind of person Camelot should be- someone who doesn't care about birth rank or bias but is loyal to a fault."

His voice nearly cracks and Arthur takes a breath. Forcing himself to calm down before anybody overhear them, he starts to speak again, quieter and more evenly.

"I'm just as angry about Merlin's decision as you are Gwaine. In my opinion, he deserves it more than anyone. But he's made his choice, and we have to respect that. I don't want to hear of you guys bothering him about it anymore." He takes a step back, running his hand through his hair. He avoids Leon's gaze, instead starting at a spot on the wall between Elyan's head and Percival's shoulder. "I expect to see you all in the throne room tomorrow after dinner for the meeting. Don't be late." He nods his head quickly and walks in the direction of his rooms.

He's only taken a few steps when Gwaine speaks again.

"I'm sorry, Arthur."

Arthur doesn't turn around, just closes his eyes briefly. "Don't be, Sir Gwaine." He knows his tone is too formal, but he has spent all of his emotions. "I'm glad Merlin has such good friends." He adds.

They all pause a moment, sharing in the silence.

And then the moment is broken, and Arthur walks away.

(line)

The council goes smoothly the next day, even with Gaius arriving late, and Arthur can almost feel Camelot stretching herself and moving into an unprecedented era of prosper. When a particularly rousing good idea is shared to solve an irrigation problem there is actual applause and cheering across the whole table. And when one of the tradesmen gingerly puts forth an idea and a noble instantly jumps on board, Arthur can't stop the broad smile that spreads across his face. He shifts in his chair ever so slightly, so that he can see past his shoulder a few feet. And there, right behind him, stands Merlin, smiling brilliantly at the same scene. Arthur's mood dims slightly as he takes in the space between Merlin and the rest of them, and his buoyant expression turns resolute as he faces the table again.

Someday Merlin, someday.

So….that's that. This story arc is over, onto the next one in the next chapter. Hopefully I'll have another up before or on Christmas, but no promises. Happy Holidays! As always, thank you to everyone who has reviewed, favourited, followed, and read "Magic Lit Flames"

-ED