As we were waiting for Christine's train to arrive to the station so we could greet her back in Paris I watched the railway station and "old" steam locomotives in awe. I loved them in modern days, and looking at them in reality I was happy, I always wanted to see them in real life, not only on the web or Tv. I was happy, yet Erik was a bit of speechless and serious as I could see, and I knew it was because I chose Christine as a bridesmaid and they had to meet once again, but what can I do? Either this or no wedding, which, I knew, he would not like, so he accepted his fate.
He was a bit impatiently playing drums on the handrail of the wooden bench we were sitting on, sometimes he sighed or blew air through his lips, checking his pocket watch in every five minutes.
Trains are always late. - He stated with annoyance.
Maybe there is a snowstorm. - I tried to joke, but he did not get it at that moment.
In the middle of July?
Just kidding. - I patted his shoulder. - They are always late in modern day Hungary as well.
Some things never change. - He sighed.
But some things are going to change shortly.
What do you mean? - He snorted. Poor guy wasn't the sharpest that day, he would have understood me way easier at other occasions. I playfully drew a sharp sign on the shoulder of his jacket to make him sharper, but that wasn't noticed by him either, he was lost in his thoughts.
Your marital status. - I giggled.
Oh… I… yes… - He stuttered, looking at me in disbelief. - You… you are awaiting… that day…?
I am waiting for it to happen in the past half year or so. - I smiled. - Of course.
Looking at his everyday disguise I actually wished he could wear no mask for the streets. It always bothered me to see "another" version of him outside than at our house. It also did bother me Erik created another ugly black mask and he wore it during the time the Persian showed up at us for the lessons, but it was, of course, understandable. However; Erik finally seemed to learn what colors were nowadays. He did not only wear black any more, but acknowledged the existence of, at first, gray, but after some months, he wore red or light orange waistcoat with black jacket, or red cravat, or, as right at that time, he was wearing beige suit with light blue waistcoat and darker blue cravat, with a pair of white shoes. His wig was dark blonde and he was wearing fake glasses and beard, matching the latest fashion. It was strange how his looks since he made the new mask did not match the look he had before. He said he made a totally new mask intentionally as he could not bear the shame people linked with the appearance of his lost mask and style, so he had a new wig, and new accessories, looking nothing like "Alexandre Dechausse" as he called that guy. I knew Erik had various fake identities and strangely he was referring to them, if ever he mentioned them, as they were other people he had known in the past and had nothing to do with Erik himself.
Even though he looked nothing like Erik, his body type and gestures were the same, so one could easily recognize him if they knew his usual way of acting. As the train finally arrived in , he nervously jumped up as he was hit by electricity, and took my arm a bit more vehemently than he should have, and pulled me after himself in his hurry.
Why are you so nervous? - I asked finally, getting bored of his acting.
She… won't come alone this time. - He groaned.
Oh, are you afraid she took Popeye… I mean the Sailor Man…?
Sure she did.
And why are you afraid of him?
NOT afraid. - Erik shook his head firmly.
I seriously doubt she'd bring him, you'd kill him overnight.
Sometimes you really are able to lift my spirits. - He hissed.
I was right. Christine, to Erik's endless relief, arrived back to Paris all alone. Raoul did not accompany her, yet again. She smiled happily when she noticed us and hugged me tight and kissed me.
How great is to see my sister so soon again. - I greeted her.
I would never miss a chance to meet you and be here with you in such an important moment, dear. - She seemed to be touched.
Good morning, Christine. - Erik hid his hands awkwardly behind his back, not to accidentally touch Christine and closed his eyes, standing like he was going to be shot in seconds.
Hello Erik. - Christine was a bit of distant and cool, but sent a small smile at his direction, - I had trouble recognizing you. - She added.
Erik nodded shortly but said nothing to this. I think he was not sure if it was meant to be a compliment regarding his fine disguise, or the fact Christine did not want to recognize him, because of their past. Trying to make the awkward atmosphere between them disappear with more or less success, I was talking to both of them. Erik acted like a true gentleman towards us, but he spoke only when it was necessary, other than that he was just too much embarrassingly polite and he sank back to the state he was in when we met. Not wanting to express his real feelings he again wore masks both over his face and soul. I was extremely sorry for him and tried to involve him in the activities we did, but he excused himself, saying he had to work on something before the great day comes, and he really left the house, leaving Christine and me there in our new home.
Christine took me to a shopping trip in Paris to make me forget about Erik's moodiness, and she stated I needed a new style for the wedding. She was experienced in make up, accessories and hairstyles, being a girl herself, and having a job in the past where she had to wear make up for a role all the time.
You know, Juti, my dear, - She started talking, as she was picking up a bunch of make up accessories and examining my face- not wearing make up is partly a good thing, as it is natural, and your natural unhidden beauty comes to the surface.
My unhidden what? - I shook my head.
Oh do not be sarcastic. - She sighed. - It does not suit you, only Erik. You are beautiful. It is the truth. And I will help you how to show your beauty even more by applying make up that highlights your eye color, the shape and fullness of your lips, and your skin color.
Are you sure it is going to work?
I am sure, you have to be extraordinarily beautiful on the happiest day of your life. - She smiled. - Trust me. - She added. - I am your sister, and will make you so beautiful Erik will have to appreciate the luck he has.
I think he does. - I shrugged. - But you are right… I think he will faint, though. - I giggled.
Maybe but take it as a compliment. - Christine laughed as well.
Accepting the fact I was going to wear make up on my wedding contrary to my habits made me think of Erik's everyday disguise even more. When it was just the two of us, I asked him cautiously about what he planned to wear to the upcoming event. He sent me an investigating small glance, then shrugged.
It is not a church wedding, a simple formal wear will do. Why?
And… will you look like...this? - I pointed at him, as he just arrived home, still wearing the human mask.
What is this intonation behind the "this", eh?
Nothing.
Do not lie. - He snorted. - You know well that I am also a musician, with a perfect ear for small nuances in someone's mood. I heard a hint of… dismay… or… disgust…?
Just disappointment.
Disappointment… about my mask?
Yes. I am sorry Erik, but it seriously bothers me you do wear this mask, it looks nothing like you.
Thank Goodness, as people would run away screaming, or start to vomit, or just stare at me in horror. - He sighed with annoyance.
I understand that. - I nodded. - But… can't you… make a mask that at least resembles your… face shape?
What for?
To see some of the real you.
I am going to check your glasses, and take you to an optometrist. If you WISH to see the real Erik outside or at the Civil Registry Office it indicates your eyesight is worse than both of us do think, and you'd need serious help and intervention not to lose the rest of it.
My glasses are just fine. - I stated calmly. - I would appreciate if you showed some of your real self. I can't see the man I love. It is like I was walking with a stranger.
Erik examined me again with a hint of worry, then walked out of the room, saying nothing.
Erik's diary
17th July, 1882
I cannot believe my extremely sensitive ears.
Erik thinks he won't ever understand women and how their brain works. Either it is Juti has way worse eyesight than what I thought she has, or she is going mad or I am going deaf. Neither of these possibilities sound pleasant or calming to me. I don't know what to say or do, and I do not wish to make Juti disappointed or angry, this is the last thing I wish to do to her, especially now she is going to marry me in ten days.
Ten days and… if everything works out we are finally going to be a legally and lawfully wed couple. And I do not wish to ruin this day leaving uncomfortable feelings in Juti's soul, but I am seriously out of any ideas how to solve this problem.
I need advice.
Knowing the people being close enough to me are Juti, the Daroga and Christine really limits the possibilities of that said adviser. Juti sure can't be bothered about this subject, partly because she already stated her opinion, but the bigger problem is I am too proud to ask her to explain her wish to me on an understandable way. I am ashamed to admit I do not understand what she wishes of Erik. The Daroga often explains me things better and I can understand him mostly, but I am afraid he won't get the logic of a woman either, being a help and hopeless man, just like my humble self. Only one person is a woman here, and maybe she is such an angel she would want to help Erik…
I should talk to Christine, if she can bear to stay in the same room with me… only her and me…
Half past six in the evening:
I am just back home from visiting Christine in her room she is renting to stay until the wedding. To be honest, it went surprisingly well and it wasn't as awkward as I'd think it would be. Christine did not show disgust upon having only me with her, she only was worried about the possibility of Juti and me having a fight or breaking up our relationship.
As I told her none of these possibilities were the case of my visit, Christine was relieved. I did not understand why, as I thought she did not like the idea of me getting married to Juti. She seemed to be protective of "her sister" and I believed she did not find me the best partner for her, and was afraid I will be a terrible husband to her.
She was polite and kind when I arrived and after the necessary formalities and after I assured her I wished to eat or drink nothing at all, I tried my best to word my question to her regarding Juti's earlier words, and the meaning behind them. Christine was surprised, at first I believed by the fact that Juti did not like my new disguise, but in the end I had to realize she was rather surprised about me CONSIDERING to do what someone else asked of me, as she stated:
I think you learned what love really means.
You… you say so, Christine?
You improved a lot. - She nodded reassuringly, with a kind smile.
E… Erikk really is trying his best, Christine, but he is so afraid he won't be a good and loving enough husband.
If you make effort to think the way you do now I am sure everything will be close to perfect.
Erik wants to be a perfect husband… a perfect one to Juti and he fears he won't be.
Nothing is all perfect, Erik. Not a husband, not a wife, and married life isn't perfect either. There are misunderstandings sometimes, just as are in a love relationship, but you can do your best to make things reach the closest to perfection.
If you mean what you say I feel better.
I do. Now I know that Juti and you will be happy together. You are trying Erik. You started caring for other people's happiness when you realized… I loved Raoul.
I know. - I nodded, not really liking the subject, but I had to agree she was right.
And now you wish to make your lover happy even if it causes some discomfort to you… I don't recognize you, Erik. - She laughed out softly.
It is not exactly about discomfort, Christine. I would do much bigger things for her, I am just about to cross half of Europe for her to take her to Salzburg on our honeymoon, as she asked that. But our wedding day should be a perfect one, Christine, and how could it be so if Erik shows his real face to people?
I think no wonder Juti wants to see the Erik she has gotten used to during these months you were spending together. I know what bothers her. She wants the man she loves to face her on her wedding day.
But it is impossible. If she met a young handsome boy it wouldn't be a problem, but…
I think we could make compromises. - She smiled. - I help you with that.
Telling me a simple solution I did not yet consider, she calmed me a bit. I am going to look more like my original self, but other people won't get scared of me. I am still not sure though that it is a hundred percent working solution, especially that we are most likely having a hot summer day on the 27th, and I am going to wear clothes not really meant for the weather, and… I am not sure how much would the make up last, but I do hope it lasts until we are finished with the ceremony.
Everything needs to be close to perfect.
Juti's POV
On the morning of 27th July I was so happy and yet so insecure as never ever in my whole life before. Looking at my reflection in the mirror after getting out of bed in the morning I could not believe one was going to and wanting to marry me. My whole life was going to change at 2 PM that day, and until that I had to get ready… thankfully Christine, after she arrived at us at 10 in the morning never left my side and she helped putting on the dresses, picking out accessories to wear with the wedding dress and she did my makeup. She did a great job- checking my appearance again, I could not believe it was me and I could look so well. She matched the perfect colors to my eye color and even my extremely short hair compared to the time period looked great as she made it for me.
I look like a Victorian bride. - I murmured in front of the mirror, staring at myself, and smiled.
The Jewel Song came to mind with the line "Marguerite c'est ne plus toi, c'est ne plus ton visage…" It isn't your face any more… I looked much more mature and ladylike, not like a modern teen, as I usually did.
You are beautiful. - Christine reassured me, gently massaging my shoulder. She was trying to emotionally support me until we needed to leave for the wedding.
Erik took extremely long to prepare that day. It wasn't unusual of him, of course, every morning he was preparing in the bathroom for a good one hour and a half, but it was already 2 and a half, and he did not yet show up. I seriously started to worry after the Daroga arrived as well and Erik was still preparing. Does that mean maybe that he changed his mind?
Don't worry. - Christine noticed my thoughts and gently stroke my hand. - He is just making sure he will meet your taste.
My taste? - I asked with surprise, but at the next moment, I saw with my own eyes what Christine meant.
Erik finally appeared in the room to show himself, and I got so astonished a small scream and giggle left my lips. He was wearing no mask and no wig, only his true face with a ton of makeup that made him look much less skull like but still himself, a fake nose which did not look as artificial as the previous one, and a fake mustache kind of lifelike, to cover his lip deformity. He did not look like a monster or the Grim Reaper himself, just an older man, but normal looking. He won't cause a scandal this way, and if I can convince him to walk around like this, I could see him as he was, and not a stranger. I was thankful he did this gesture, even though he must have felt uncomfortable about a new look he had, especially on his wedding day... I only hoped he would not feel too much uncomfortable because of me.
The biggest surprise for me though wasn't his face, but the clothes he was wearing. My wedding dress was also beautiful, but I did not think we were going to show anything about not having French heritage, my wedding dress indicated nothing special, and I thought Erik was going to wear a tuxedo, but he did not.
He was wearing a full Hungarian Hussar costume, in black, with golden edging and with long shiny black boots. Even a sword was with him, and as I remembered it was the legitimate formal wear of Hungarian noblemen at that time. With this gesture he was willing to show publicly he felt like a Hungarian at his heart, and was showing off Hungarian pride on his wedding day.
God… - I stuttered and smiled widely at him, walking closer. - Erik… thank you…. You are so cute, you look like Count Dracula! - I exclaimed happily.
And… you look like… my living wife. - He reached out towards me with shaking hands- And if Count Dracula means you like my new outfit I am more than honored to look like him.
With a touched smile all over his face he took my gloved hand and cleared his throat, feeling embarrassed.
I believe we should leave this house… and only return… as a married couple… and… and I really do not wish to cry right now… it is going to make my face melt off. - He sighed uncomfortably, but soon he was smiling again at me, and we took our first steps together towards a whole new life.
