A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Springheeled Jack, Erskine, Billy-Ray, China, Tipstaff, Ghastly, Tanith, Fletcher, Thrasher, Scapegrace or Valkyrie. Jack the Ripper is an OC though. Val is still 24, story is still her point of view. Readers who dislike seeing Fletcher bullied may want to skip this one.
I felt Skulduggery stiffen as Billy-Ray waved him over. I laughed, and looked over at Skulduggery. "Why, he's being friendly, Skulduggery. Go ahead and say 'hello'."
"Not without you, I'm not." He growled through his disguise. Mine was already thankfully in place, and I shrugged as we walked over, leaving Erskine to watch in amusement. Billy-Ray turned to us, actually looking delighted to see Skulduggery.
Even Springheeled Jack looked relieved, and I could tell why. Leaning casually against a streetlight, stood a legendary figure few men would cross. Some said he was an Adept who adopted the name, and hopefully he was. But the elegant and frighteningly handsome Jack the Ripper looked resplendent as ever in his formal opera dress and silken top hat. He black cape hid his hands, but I knew he never kept his scalpel out of reach.
He smiled, and the lunacy of that smile reached his eyes. "Hello, Detectives. So good of your Sanctuary to force England to absolve me of my crimes." He giggled, withdrawing a scalpel from underneath his cape, but Skulduggery's gun was out before he could move further.
"Don't make me kill you, Jack, you know I will." He thumbed the hammer back. Jack looked at him, seeming to reach out towards the gun, and I had my shotgun to his temple before he could move any further.
Erskine had wandered over, clearly amused. "We said you were absolved, Jack. Nobody said anything about forgiving you. Any of you." He finished, his own smile clearly a threat. All three criminals slunk away at his words, clearly astonished and rather resentful that he wasn't trying to stop us.
I looked at him when they were out of earshot. "You'd have let me kill him, wouldn't you?"
"He was threatening, Skulduggery, so yes, I would have."
Skulduggery looked at us both as he holstered his weapon and I willed my shotgun away once more. "I thought you were going to shoot him. Weren't you just tormenting me five minutes ago?"
"Yes, but I'm your partner Skulduggery, that's my job."
I could feel his smile through his disguise. "Yes, yes, I suppose it it. That, and shooting people who attack me."
"That too."
Erskine shook his head. If we can find Ghastly and Tanith we should break for a late lunch. You ought to get out of that armour for a few minutes more, Valkyrie, and that doughnut and pizza won't last you long."
"But I don't get hungry or tire in my armour, Erskine."
"He's right, Valkyrie. We can't let you become my carbon copy. Besides, there's always a chance you'll let me sample something and make Ghastly go green again." Skulduggery said delightedly.
I looked at him as we went in. "You aren't hungry, are you?" I asked as we reentered the building.
"Not that I'm aware of, but I am craving tastes."
"That would be how hunger is defined, Skulduggery, more or less."
"Oh. I'd forgotten the sensation. Then yes, I suppose I am hungry, my most loyal combat accessory, so you simply must feed me before I waste away to a mere skeleton." He looked down in mock horror. "Too late!" He wailed, throwing his arms around me and burying his head in my shoulder to fake sobbing.
I giggled as I patted his back soothingly because the intake and release of air tickled then helped him upright as Ghastly and Tanith approached. There was so much I wanted to ask Skulduggery. Were these new abilities genuine, a type of evolution on his part? Or was he so desperate to be loved as any other man was loved that he was using magic to fake the abilities? If it was the former I was delighted as his friend and partner, it hurt too much to think of it being the latter.
I knew he said they were real, and I believed him, but I'd also seen the hurt glances he'd taken to giving the mirrors in our home when he thought I didn't notice. But then I knew Ghastly was the same way. Erskine was perhaps the only man in the room who didn't worry about his looks, and the day would come when he would.
I desperately wanted to tell Skulduggery that women felt the same way. That I did. That I truly and deeply loved him as man and couldn't believe my good fortune, that I dreaded the day he saw me for how hideous I was. I didn't know a woman who didn't feel ugly at times with the man she loved, if only because she could never beautiful enough to win his love.
We'd found a quiet side room, and soon enough a young sorcerer had been sent for and returned with take away. He came in nervously, and a vaguely familiar man strolled in behind him. He wore all black and had black hair closely cropped in a military style haircut. He was slight of body, but it was clearly all packed with tightly coiled muscles. Of course. He smiled at my recognition and strolled over. Erskine looked annoyed, failing to recognize who it was, and the man winked at me.
I grinned and realization dawned on Erskine's face. He clearly was remembering every time he'd barked at Tipstaff, and hoping the former Administrator was in a forgiving mood. "You're safe, Grand Mage. I left my piano wire at home." Tipstaff joked, sitting down beside Erskine.
He looked at all of us, perfectly content to let us see the real Tipstaff, who reminded me more of a panther at rest than the man I remembered. I realized no one was speaking to him, though this time it was more out of uneasiness than ignoring him and spoke. "You look amazing- What do I call you now?"
"Tipstaff is fine. It's the name they gave me around the time the Dead Men were formed. None of them were supposed to know about me, but I think Skulduggery did."
Skulduggery looked at him steadily. "That voice." For when he wasn't pretending to be the old Tipstaff, Tipstaff's voice was strong, cultured. "I met you on the battlefield. I didn't even know you were the one they had sent after the general."
Skulduggery turned to me. "There was a general on our side, completely mad with power. Tipstaff here was sitting outside his tent, playing a frightened aide de camp most convincingly. I never suspected a thing." He looked at Tipstaff again for a time, but said nothing. I realized they would have liked to fight then and there. Skulduggery had no pity for the general, but anyone who threatened the Dead Men, his men, was the enemy. Tipstaff clearly felt anyone who felt he was the enemy was betraying our side.
Ghastly, ever the peacemaker, gave both Tipstaff and Skulduggery a Gibbs slap. Both men yelped, and rubbed the back of their heads. Ghastly just smiled serenely. "I'm still right, Valkyrie, my morale is certainly approved."
I laughed, drawing glares from both men. "You know, I think Abby did it too, and since she's like a daughter to Gibbs you gentlemen are both welcome to another round." They both grumbled and went off into a corner to commiserate with one another, exactly what Ghastly had intended.
"See? That's the fun part about being a parent. Sometimes you have to punish both kids so they will band together against you."
"Poor Skulduggery is going to have a dented skull. I whacked him a good one for teasing me a few days ago."
"Yes, he told me, the big baby. But that's what he gets for being stupid. I told him not to mention China, ever, as a joke."
"Speaking of the dragon lady, I assume she's dead or she'd have shown up by now."
"Mmm. I've heard rumors she's alive. Don't look so livid. She isn't a threat to you, she never was."
"You're not a woman, you wouldn't understand." I said quietly.
"You think she wouldn't be just as likely to seduce you to hurt Skulduggery?"
"She tried and failed. She was subtle about it, but my taste in women is much better than her." I joked.
Tanith giggled. "She tried with me too. Maybe her powers only work on men."
"Stupid men, maybe. I could never see what the fuss was about." Ghastly remarked. He looked annoyed at the shock on both our faces. "What? Not every man goes to pieces over her."
"Skulduggery did, and don't lie on his behalf, dad. He was stupid enough to admit it." Ghastly sighed in reply burying his face in his hands.
"You, you're the reason I have no hair. Whatever he felt for her was not the same as what he feels for you, all right?"
"I know, dad." I said, hugging him. "Besides, I'm sure he'd rather fight an invasion of zombies at my side than anyone else's."
"Indeed I would." Skulduggery said, having drifted back over. He offered his hand to me and helped me rise, and I was surprised at the strength in it. He'd always been strong, but this felt like he was calling up reserves, or, I realized, no longer holding back. He led me outside where we could have at least some privacy before our meeting. "You're not frightened of China showing up, are you?"
"Honestly? No. I can throw it in her face that I wouldn't sleep with her, and that is always loads of fun." I lied. "She doesn't handle rejection well."
"True. Why did you think she helped kill my family? I wouldn't be with her, not while I had them. She saw getting rid of them as a way to get closer to me. Yes, I did have feelings for her at one time, but not how I feel for you. This, I suppose, is where you call off the wedding." He joked, but still turned his head.
I sighed. "Claude Rains once said as a character that marrying a woman he loved was only half the battle. He got her away from other men, but couldn't force her to love him. I at least know you love me, so maybe I'll win the war-" I cut off, staring at the flickering shadows that were drifting down the street.
"A ghost?" I asked uncertainly as an ethereal being drifted up to me. She looked like the sweet grandmother type, complete with shawl and her long silver hair pulled back in a bun.
"Taibhse, but yes."
The ghost wended her way around me, curious, reached out hands I barely felt to pull down my scarf. "Creatlach." She breathed, clearly enchanted. She cooed and patted me, then drifted back into the flowing river of spirits.
Skulduggery gave a faint snort of amusement, then burst out laughing,
"So not funny, Skulduggery, the word applies to you as well, creatlach." He chortled in reply.
"You would know 'skeleton' in Gaeilge, wouldn't you? There's hope for Éire yet. Though I can hardly talk. I think I once told a person a word was Irish for something."
"Mmm. But the dead are showing up like this and as zombies. The vampires too if our allies from last night return."
"They will. If for no other reason then they will protect their food supply. But the dead are rightly angered to see their remains disturbed, and they will fight for that reason. I want you to be prepared for any of the dead we might meet, Valkyrie, I-"
"I already know your wife is coming, Skulduggery. I am dead, give me some credit for sensing things at least."
Skulduggery turned and looked at me. He seemed like he was trying to say something, but stopped, and shrugged helplessly. He tried again. "No, she isn't coming. I looked for her but then I realized I'd known for a long time exactly where she was. But I can tell you my wife would be the first to approve of us... I had a chance to stay there you know, to be a man as I once was. But I couldn't leave you. I wanted to be here with you, even as a skeleton."
"Hey! Some of us are proud of what we are." I growled, giving him a chance to sidestep the issue.
But he shook his head, doggedly determined to see his speech through. "I loved my wife, Valkyrie, I always will, forever, you know that. I just don't want you feeling the same way towards her you do towards China." He was weeping and my resolve melted. I took him into my arms, holding him as he wept.
"I already told you I love her for loving you, Skulduggery. She was a good woman. I love her for loving you, I could never hate her, it just isn't possible."
Skulduggery seemed about to say something else, but the sun was lowering in the sky. We only had time for one last meeting, and whatever he needed to say would have to wait. Skulduggery spoke quietly to the Grand Mages, who in turn would pass the information on to others. Then of course came the brief meeting with our dead allies, the leaders of which stepped forward. Scapegrace and Thrasher nodded happily and agreed to lead the zombies, and any others that poured in on our side. Thrasher had figured out we'd need a way to identify our own in the dark, and had thoughtfully sent for yellow vests like the police were wearing for all of them.
It was a good idea and I knew then who the brains of the pair was, which wasn't saying much. They went away and ghostly couple stepped up, clearly married. If I could have hugged Tanas and Leap right then and there, I would have. They smiled at me and we exchanged quick nods as Skulduggery went over last minute instructions with them.
Leap came up and lowered my disguise, smiling at me in delight. "I've watched over you for a long time." He said happily. "Anyone with the sense to hate China as much as you do is a wise woman indeed. Keep her away from Skulduggery, that's all I ask. And keep that emblem, you'll need it some day."
He returned to Tanas and they left to lead the dead and I shot Skulduggery a look.
"You could have mentioned they got married, Skulduggery."
"Oh, didn't I?" He said, a little too innocently.
"No, you didn't. Why?"
"I just wanted to see your reaction when you found out. The look on your face was priceless."
"Do you ever get tired of being right?"
"Not really. Now I believe our forces are massing outside as it will be dark soon. Hmm, you know I think we do have time for one last kiss, and it will be evening soon, and you do owe me for last night I think-" I went to him allowing him to touch my jaws and the armour slid away. I kissed him and he was as enthusiastic as ever in his response. So much so that we didn't part until a male voice cleared itself.
I looked over and sighed, it would have to be He of the Stupid Hair. "You want something, Fletcher?" I asked.
He looked like he was sulking already. "I was told to come and find you. You've got two ways into the cave. Me or that Texan. I bet we both know which one you'll choose." He smirked.
"That Texan is called Billy-Ray by the little lady, but it will be Mister to you, son." Billy-Ray growled, entering the room with Jack, Jack touched the brim of his top hat in my direction.
"Hello, poppet. This boy annoyin' you? We're ready to escort you to the entrance. Billy-Ray will take Skulduggery down first, then you."
"She's not going anywhere with you, you freak. You've only gotten uglier from what I heard. Nice scar around your neck. Loose your heard to some girl?" Fletcher sneered, being petty as usual.
"At least he didn't loose out to a skeleton." I said cheerfully. Fletcher started to sulk immediately, and disappeared as the men started to laugh.
"You've got a sharp tongue on you love, but a right proper lady you are, defending old Jack like that, and he thanks you for it. I understand you'll be married soon, my congratulations. We'll be ready when you are, poppet." He doffed his hat again politely and left with Billy-Ray, who was still smiling over my catty remark.
"Well I can see I have nothing to fear from Fletcher. Not that I thought I did, of course." Skulduggery said, grinning at me. "I like the part about loosing out to a skeleton, I'm sure that stung. It also made me realize you're happy I am a skeleton." He chuckled softly, drawing me into another embrace, nuzzling into my happily.
I kissed him again, but only briefly. We had to go, and soon. "Skulduggery, if we need Lord Vile, don't hesitate. It won't bother me a bit to leave Ireland to be with you. Not that I think we will, you are at full strength, though a bit short in the homicidal rage department." I teased, donning my armour once more. We left the room, leaving behind any sense of normalcy we'd feel for a long time.
A detective came into the warehouse, frantic. "The hospital, the hospital! The zombies have massed there and are attacking, it's chaos!" Men and women flooded out into the night at his words, finding more zombies in the streets. This wasn't just a horde, but an invasion. The battle raged around us, and it was all Skulduggery and I could do to stay with our escorts. Billy-Ray and Springheeled Jack were struggling, so we freed them and I handed each a peacemaker.
"You have my permission to use those. Aim for the head." Billy-Ray took to the weapon right away, and Jack caught on at last, leaping and twisting out of range, firing at his attackers with an instant skill I admired.
Several zombies were on me at once, one biting down on my arm, loosing teeth in the effort, and I smashed an armoured fist through his head. The battle was too tight for my shotgun or sword, so I massed my shadows, fighting as Skulduggery did. Then the dead were around us, ghosts raging as they attacked, some decapitating the enemy, some crushing skulls, but all eager for war. A terrifying scream erupted, and I realized the Bean Shide had shown up to call the ancestral dead to attack. This only doubled the fury of our ghostly allies, and soon they were opening a path for us to struggle through.
The zombies howled and raged trying to reach us, but those from our own side erupted from the ground, dragging them howling underneath. I'd never seen zombies look that enraged, even when fighting them, and was glad they were on our side that night. Still the enemies ranks seemed to be swelling and we just made the cave as a near thing. Billy-Ray took Skulduggery first, then me, and the cave was indeed so brightly lit as to have blinded human eyes. Billy-Ray disappeared back into the cave wall, not arguing the fact that we had to face the enemy alone.
Skulduggery and I had walked into the ever-increasing light for what seemed like ages, before reaching the blinding core. It seemed to hang there in bitter contmept, then threw spears of light at us, that Skulduggery easily deflected with his shadows. We were keeping even, deflecting hits, but giving none when I missed a spear and it grazed my armoured shoulder. I yelped, more out of shock than anything, because it did no damage.
But the yelp was all it took. There was a massive burst of shadows and Lord Vile stood where Skulduggery had been, his shadows massing and pulsing, the sheer rage in his visored gaze frightening. Even in training he'd never been like this. The god-killer struck, a massive burst of shadows and power roiling off him, plunging the cave into complete darkness. The cave spirit started to scream, and kept screaming. I could see it's twisted form in the darkness, impaled on multiple shadows writhing in agony.
Vile turned and looked at me, tilting his head, inviting me to take the killing blow. I strode over, grabbing the thing but its ugly head and pulled upwards sharply. It gave a final dreadful scream as flesh tore and blood spewed forth first from the twisted mouth then erupted from the neck as the head came free and it was dead.
Vile looked at me and for what I believed was the first time ever, he laughed.
Skulduggery and I emerged above ground to find the battle won. As soon as the cave spirit's true form had been killed the parts of it that had infested the dead died as well. Our allies were busy tending the wounded, making sure that any bitten people were herded off with the zombies that had fought on our side. They welcomed their new brothers and sisters tenderly, going off to wherever it was that they hid. Perhaps it was mistake to let them go, but we let vampires go that night as well. The dead sank back into the ground, and we went in search of survivors.
Ghastly ran to us as soon as he saw us, enveloping me in a massive hug. He looked down at the decapitated head I still clutched and grinned. "A true Gaelic warrior, that's what you are." He took the head gently, admiring my work, still grinning. "This I'm keeping in a jar in my office, you see if I don't." He said, walking off to find a way to preserve his prize, no doubt.
Skulduggery was staring at me keenly. "Seeing you refuse to give up your prize is the only thing that kept Vile in check, you looked like an absolute madwoman. He wasn't about to cross anyone who was in that much of a battle frenzy, well, at least not if she was about to marry him he wasn't." He grinned, then continued. "You did the right thing instinctively. Giving the head to your father. He's the leader of your clan, such a precious prize goes to him. Be glad he won't display it on a pike like the old days. But then that's when life was fun, wasn't it?" He asked wistfully.
Tanith walked up to us, looking amused. "Was Ghastly carrying a head?" She asked, wrapping me in a massive hug.
"That he was, and your little sister took it. Quite the temper on that one. Why, I live in fear for my very life." Skulduggery teased.
Tanith grinned at me, pulling me into another tight hug. "Erskine is fine before you ask, so is Tipstaff and everyone else we know. Our only casualty was Jack the Ripper and he got pulled into so many pieces he isn't coming back." I smiled and stretched as she walked off to help tend the wounded.
Jack and Billy-Ray had both come to see us before they left, Jack shivering slightly when he heard I'd beheaded the cave spirit with my bare hands. "What was it, do we know exactly, poppet?" He asked.
I shrugged. "Nobody really knows, Jack. Maybe another creature like the Faceless Ones who thought humanity would make easy prey."
"Not as long as you're with us we won't." He fingered his scar nervously.
"She isn't mad at you, Jack, The Remnant did that. I'm sorry things didn't work out for you, but I'm happy to see you alive. How did you manage it, if I may ask?"
Jack shrugged. "I don't think old Jack can die, love. But we'd best be off. A pleasure as always." He doffed his hat again and the pair left, but not before handing over my peacemakers.
I looked at Skulduggery. "We have to go back to fighting them the next time we see them, don't we?"
"Of course, they won't change, Valkyrie, and neither will we. Things will be quiet for a while, but they'll be back to cause trouble they always are. Speaking of trouble, how would you like to get into massive amounts of it by letting me fly you home? Even I could use some meditation after that battle."
I grinned and nodded, letting my own armour slip away. Skulduggery put his arms around me and I wrapped mine around him before we rose into the night sky, headed home.
Don't wander away just yet. There is still a wedding to come and who knows what happens after that? As Skulduggery said, I'm sure our favourite bad guys will be back to causing trouble all too soon.
