Thunderbirds and The Tracy Family are the creation of Sylvia & Gerry Anderson
Chapter 54
Jeff had laughed at his young son trying to appear so wise, diverting his attention from his problems for a while. How he wished it were so this time, how he wished John could have made him smile, to ease the tension of his troubled mind. He knew his boys just didn't fully appreciate the dilemma he was in, for he was not only Commander-In-Chief of this secret rescue organisation but father as well. Scott would come closest to understanding what it was to have to make difficult decisions with having to send his brothers into dangerous situations but now this dilemma involved his eldest; his son, who had time and time again, like all his sons, laid his life on the line to save others and he was now having to decide what to do with him, what role he could still play and feel useful. If John thought that was easy he had another think coming.
Of course Jeff hoped, like everyone, that Scott was going to get feeling back in his arm. Day after day he waited and prayed for that miracle, the long hoped for miracle of hearing those words; like the agonising wait to hear whether or not his son had made it through surgery, the waiting to see if he would breathe on his own and the wondering just when he would wake up. All these and coming off his IV drips and feed tube had been important landmarks on his road to a successful recovery and Jeff had never been so proud of his son as when he had taken his first painful steps even though Jenna only expected him to walk with assistance, proving to him that Scott had that stubborn Tracy spirit. There was only one more major hurdle to overcome and, unfortunately with that, there were no guarantees and it was with that in mind that Jeff felt he had to have some plan for the future.
"Don't you think I haven't agonised over this, John? Do you think this has been easy for me? I've tried to think of the different options," Jeff continued frustratingly.
"Yeah Dad, but that isn't even an option….not for Scott," John replied, feeling he had to stick up for his brother seeing as he wasn't here to speak for himself and remembering the many times Scott had put his neck on the chopping block, so to speak, in defending them from their father. "You just can't do that to him, Dad. Why…it would be like….like….," John flustered, searching for the right analogy so his father would understand. "Well like…confining a dolphin to a pool and…letting him look at the ocean…and telling him he couldn't go and play in it anymore or…or.. tethering an eagle to a stake…and letting him look up at the sky and telling him he's not allowed to fly there anymore," John said, finishing his impassioned plea.
Well, his son certainly had a way with words and a vivid imagination. "John….Scott may not be able to fly again," Jeff gently reminded him, thinking his son may have gotten so carried away with his description he didn't realise what he was saying.
"Scott would find a way, Dad. He would find a way round it. You ought to know that. You have to give him a chance," John responded imploringly. "Couldn't Brains adapt Thunderbird One in some way. I mean…with what you're suggesting he's not gonna get that chance."
"I have Brains working on that already, John….but he says One was designed to be a two-handed craft," Jeff replied, letting his son know he had been thinking of as many different options as possible.
John could feel his frustration rising, knowing he had to dissuade his father from making any concrete decision. "You'd be shutting him away….and that's what it would be, Dad. He would be shut away up there…like he was…in prison…or like he was some sort of embarrassment to be hidden away."
"JOHN!" Jeff Tracy exclaimed vehemently, the words cutting through him like a knife. "Is that what you would all think?" Jeff asked, releasing for the first time he had never really stopped to consider how his sons viewed his decisions.
"Well…yeah Dad…that's what we would think," John stated boldly, knowing his brothers and taking the opportunity to plead Scott's case.
Jeff sat back in his seat, momentarily stunned by this revelation. He sighed deeply, running his hand over his head. "John….nothing could be further from the truth. I told him the other day how proud I was of him, how proud I am of all you boys…and I meant every word of it. I can't even begin to tell you how proud I was of him this morning when he took those first steps…the pain etched on his face. Do you boys think for one minute that it's easy for me to watch you in pain and fight your way back to fitness? It was like when Gordon….," Jeff replied, unable, though, to finish because of choked emotion. "I could never be embarrassed by your brother…and I would never dream of shutting him away."
"Then you'll understand, Dad. Scott would do his duty, sure….he always helps out where he's needed but…Scott's not an astronaut, he's a pilot. How would it be for him to be confined up there and looking down into the atmosphere where he should be…it would eat him up inside and….even if he didn't get to fly again," John reluctantly conceded. "Well..at least he would be down here with everyone's support."
Jeff sighed as he listened to his son's eloquent plea.
"And then, what about Field Commander? Who would take over that position?" John asked, continuing with the next logical line of thought. As duty on board TB5 required the rotation of two operatives every alternate month and if Scott was going to be one of them, then that left only a choice of two as far as John could see, with every one else being able to keep to their same jobs. "I mean, I know Alan's about the same age as Scott was but…well…well Dad…he just doesn't have the same analytical mind and planning ability," John stated, not being harsh about his youngest brother, just stating a fact.
"Yes I am aware of Alan's capabilities, John," his father answered calmly. Jeff looked, first down at some unimportant point on the floor then pointedly at his middle son.
Realisation dawned. "What! ME!" John exclaimed incredulously.
"You do have an analytical mind, John. To look at the situation and decide what needs doing….that's half the job….and you're good with people, you've got language skills….and….I know you don't have a lot of field experience but…that would come with time," Jeff said, trying to make his son see how he arrived at his choice.
"You're right, I don't have field experience….that's an understatement and…as for analytical mind! Yeah, sure I can process information and arrive at a logical conclusion but…that's not the same thing. Situations change…they're unpredictable…there's always that…unknown factor…factor X. Dad…Scott has that ability to think on his feet, to make split second decisions….he's a natural. We need him here, Dad….not up there," John implored passionately, trying to make his father see he knew his limitations.
"And I need a Field Commander who can be out there, assessing the situation," Jeff returned sharply, already beginning to feel totally at a loss as to what to do for the best.
"And, on top of that, Dad….you'd be doing to me what you propose to do to Scott…..confining me to earth instead of being up there. Dad….I'm an astronaut not a pilot….that's what I chose to do, that's what I wanted to be. And…what's more…I'm an astronomer as well…you know that's always been my passion and what better place to study the stars than to be up there among them….I can combine what I am with what I love to do. How would it be for me to be down here, looking up and knowing I should be up there? To confine me down here is just as bad as…as banishing Scott to the….outer reaches of space," John continued in his passionate imploring. Well…it wouldn't quite be the outer reaches of space, maybe that was being a little over melodramatic, John thought to himself but…hey….if a little melodrama worked on his father then John was prepared to use it.
Jeff was getting the distinct feeling he was going to have a mutiny on his hands if he wasn't careful and that it seemed he was going to have two very unhappy sons instead of one but he wasn't that much of an ogre that he wouldn't take his son's views into consideration. It seemed, though, John hadn't finished stating his argument and a quick mental image of an impassioned lawyer, pleading his client's case, came into Jeff's mind. His son would have, indeed, made a fine lawyer and advocate if he had chosen that path.
"And, as well as all that…well…there's Jen to consider," John stated boldly, knowing if all else fails he might as well go for the emotional jugular. "Well….he needs her, Dad….she's done a lot these last few weeks to build him up emotionally and….well…well, you just can't do that to him….you can't separate them like that," he added, recognising that if it wasn't for her and knowing his brother's volatile nature, he would very easily have slipped into a deep depression. "……and besides…Jen wouldn't go for it either….from a medical point of view, I mean," John quickly hastened to add, wielding Jenna like a weapon and hoping his father would remember their previous confrontations. "She wouldn't think it was good for him…psychologically….emotional and physical isolation and all that," John finished off, feeling he might as well use everything he could think off.
"Has…Scott…said anything to you…about Jenna?" Jeff queried upon hearing John speak of a strong emotional bond.
"No Dad but anyone with half an eye can see how they feel about each other, it just wouldn't be fair…not now," John replied.
Jeff, of course, knew how Jenna felt about his eldest son, having sacrificed her career on a point of principle because of her love for him; he just didn't know for certain his son's feelings and intentions towards her yet but, knowing his son, he could pretty much guess. "Scott has never failed to do his duty," Jeff responded, though in his heart he knew this option was fast disappearing as his son's eloquent and well thought out argument was winning him over.
"You're right, Dad…Scott has never failed to do his duty….and he has sacrificed a lot in the line of duty," John replied rather pointedly. "But there comes a time in a guy's life when duty just isn't enough anymore…when he needs something else….and I think Scott's reached that point….and he's found his something else.
Jeff sighed and nodded in submissive agreement, the last pieces of his former contemplation having totally crumbled. "You're right, John. That's not an option….I can't do that to him….I can't do that to either of you," Jeff admitted and knowing he was back at square one.
John smiled weakly. It didn't give him any kind of satisfaction to see his father look so defeated and, all of a sudden, tired and aged, unsure of what to do. It wasn't a position he could ever remember having seen his father in before; he was always strong and decisive and many a time they had clashed with their father over different issues with his father's strong opinion usually taking precedence. Now, for the first time, he just looked weary.
Jeff rose to his feet and went round the desk to put his hand on his son's shoulder. "How did I ever come to have a son with such a wise head on such young shoulders," he smiled weakly, patting his hand in a proud fatherly fashion.
John relaxed with a somewhat embarrassed grin. "Well, see, that's easy…I have this old man who's a very wise dad and who cares deeply about his sons," John responded with much affection, putting his hand on top of his father's and gripping it firmly.
The gesture was enough to touch Jeff deeply. "Thank you son. You've no idea what it means to hear you say that," he acknowledged gratefully.
"Dad…you're obviously worried about IR being out of action," John said sympathetically, knowing his father was only trying to find the right balance in his twin roles of Father and Commander-In-Chief. "Why don't I go back up to Five tomorrow and if you want….get IR started up again….now that Scott's back on his feet. I'm sure he'll understand," John suggested helpfully.
"NO," came the immediate and rather forceful reply, causing John a moment's puzzlement. "I want to have a talk with your brother first," he added in a gentler tone. "Virgil told me Scott was worried about IR being off-line for so long and that, somehow, he feels responsible….that it's his fault. I…don't want to do anything that's going to cause a set-back in his recovery…not now that he's doing so well," Jeff explained, remembering the earlier and unnecessary setbacks he had suffered. "I…don't want to do anything until I've talked with him…make sure he's all right with everything."
"Well, if you're sure, Dad," John said understandingly.
"Yes John…I'm sure…sure of that, at least. You're right….there are other things besides duty….like family. I want you boys to know how precious you are to me. I'll be honest John…I'm just not sure of what to do for the best anymore," he offered in a rare confession. John had to admit to a slight concern as he listened to his father. "I guess I'm just tired. I'll sleep on it and have a talk with him tomorrow evening," Jeff concluded. He winced and put his hand to his chest.
"Dad! You Ok?" John asked, a worried look gracing his face.
"Yes Son…just a touch of heartburn. Will you see that everything's locked down for the night? I'm going to turn in," Jeff said wearily.
"Sure Dad. Goodnight," John replied.
"Goodnight Son," Jeff responded and with that he headed to his room.
John set about his task of making sure everything was secure before heading to his room, contemplating his father's mood as he went.
As Jenna prepared for the morning, Scott observed that, even though they had had a good night's sleep, she still looked a little tired and jaded. He realised it was probably because she hadn't had a lot of time off, barely any with looking after him and seeing to his every need. Scott began to formulate a plan, watching her over the breakfast table as they ate. For this, though, he was going to need a little help; knowing Jenna as he did she was hardly likely to take time off voluntarily, especially now that he was just up on his feet. He knew she would see it as her duty to supervise his every step so she was going to need a little persuading. He smiled to himself as he thought of just how obstinate she could be, yet the thought of this woman not wanting to leave his side for one minute thrilled his heart and if truth be told, he couldn't bear the thought of her not being there with him either. True love, though, is putting the other's needs first and the fact was, she needed time off to enjoy some fresh air and relaxation. Scott smiled sweetly and innocently across the table to which she returned a warm smile.
Now just why did she get the feeling those boys were up to something as she busied herself checking the medicine cabinet to make sure the supplies were up-to-date before they went to the gym for Scott's morning session. It could be because every time she looked over to Scott's bed, heads were nodding, as if in agreement to some devious plot, then innocent faces would turn and give her a boyish grin. Turning back to her task Jenna shook her head with a laugh to rid herself of such foolish nonsense; she was imagining things…wasn't she!
"Hi Jen, what's ya doin?" a cheeky voice suddenly said beside her, startling her out of her concentration enough to make her jump.
"Oh Gordon….you shouldn't creep up on people like that," Jenna said, mildly irritated that now she was going to have to start her count again. "I'm…just checking…the medicines…to make sure…I have enough of what I need," she added, a note now of suspicion creeping into her voice. "Why?" she added, having thought it was obvious what she was doing.
"Oh nothin….just thought you might like to come out and play," he grinned cheekily.
How could she stay irritated and not laugh at such a thought. "Come out to play, huh," she responded with amusement. "Well, that does sound appealing….and just what would we play?" Jenna added, humouring him as she continued doing what she was doing. For a brief instant she got the distinct feeling his attention was drawn elsewhere, though when she turned to look at him he was ginning sweetly like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth.
In that brief instant Gordon had turned to look at his brothers, gathered around Scott's bed, and gave them the OK sign before turning back with a sickly sweet grin. He shrugged his shoulders. "Dunno. If you had time off, Jen….what would you like to do?" he asked in all innocence.
Jenna stopped what she was doing to ponder that question, a light smile now coming to her face. "You mean if I could do anything?" she mused, to which he answered, 'Uh, huh'. "Well…I've always wanted to see what it would be like underwater. I mean…it must be really fascinating…all those different colors of corals and the fish….and the silence when you're underwater, it must be really strange….like being in a different world," she enthused.
At that Gordon's eyes lit up like beacons. "Really! Well then…you're in luck…cus I just happen to be the best there is to show ya," he grinned delightedly, modesty not exactly being his strongest suit. "Well, come on then…what are we waiting for," he continued excitedly.
"Gordon….what are you talking about?" Jenna laughed, as she tried to go back to her sorting.
"Going scuba diving, Jen….I'm gonna teach ya. We'll start off in the pool first….get ya used to the equipment and the feel and then …by this afternoon we'll go down to the lagoon….it's safe there and really beautiful….there's lots to see. Oh..you're gonna love it, Jen," Gordon went on, full of enthusiasm now that he had a new pupil to show the wonders of his world to. "Well, come on…we need to get you sorted out. You can't exactly go scuba diving dressed like that!" he continued to grin as he eyed her up and down.
"Gordon! It's just something I said I would like to do. I would also love to try flying, fly free as a bird and soar into the blue yonder but it doesn't mean I'm gonna do it today," Jenna exclaimed, laughing with the incredulous idea that he expected her to just drop everything and go. "Besides I have things to do and we need to get Scott's physio session in the gym started," she explained, smiling and shaking her head at his fanciful notion.
"Yeah…that's what we thought you'd say," Gordon responded with a somewhat mischievous tone in his voice, as he looked towards his brothers.
Jenna rounded on them, her eyes narrowed suspiciously. "WE!" she exclaimed, now getting the feeling that there was some sort of conspiracy going on. She was met with innocent smiles and fingers that wagged in a little waving gesture. In the same instant as she thought someone was missing from the conspiratorial group she became aware of another presence beside her. Spinning round she found John standing beside her, a picture of total innocence. "OK guys…what's going on?" she asked, knowing her suspicions had proved to be correct.
"Well…it's like this, Jen….Doc Tracy over there…," Gordon started, looking over in Scott's direction.
"But we all agree, Gordy," John quickly interrupted.
"Oh…yeah…..we all agree," Gordon repeated, by which time Jenna was looking from one to the other, arms folded, patiently awaiting the explanation before fixing her gaze on Scott. "Well, see…he thinks..," Gordon continued.
"Well…not quite right Gordy….more like he insists," John interrupted again.
"You're right John…he insists….we all do…that you could do with a little time off. You've been workin too hard…so what you need, Jen…is a little R & R," he told her breezily.
"Oh…he does, does he!" she exclaimed in an icy cool tone, their eyes now firmly locked on one another. Scott held her gaze with equal intensity, a small smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. "Look, that's all well and good…and I do appreciate it guys…seriously," she responded with a smile, knowing he only had her best interests at heart. "But just not today…some other day, maybe."
"Yep…we thought you'd say that too. Well, John….looks like its plan B after all," Gordon sighed.
"Yep…looks like you're right brother," John agreed with an exaggerated sigh and before Jenna had time to work all that out she found herself being held by her arms on either side and marched towards the door.
"But…Scott's physio?" she protested, trying to wriggle free from the strong hold.
"All been taken care of hunny," Virgil called out. "We can manage so don't you worry. You go and enjoy yourself."
"But…but…," she kept protesting but in vain.
"Sorry Jen…but we're under strict instructions from our Field Commander," Gordon stated in mock seriousness, as though that carried weight.
"And his word is law," John joined in.
"Yeah…but not all the time," Gordon responded. "Least…not when we're at home."
"Like….only when it's convenient, you mean?" John replied, carrying on the debate around her as though she weren't there.
"You got it bro," Gordon returned with a grin. "And right now…it's convenient."
Jenna turned helplessly to look at Scott. "Scott do something," she pleaded, although what she expected him to do from the confines of his bed she didn't know.
"I am Jen," he replied, gently serious. "You need some time out and I'm making sure you take it," he added. Scott had, indeed, instructed them to use a little 'gentle persuasion', knowing she would not go of her own volition, though under no circumstances whatsoever were they to hurt her.
"But…but what if you get a headache," she continued protesting, thinking of any problem that might crop up.
"We'll give him a painkiller and massage his head for him," Virgil called back, letting her know he would be well taken care of.
"Jen…if you don't come quietly…we'll have to revert to Plan C," Gordon grinned, drawing a puzzled frown from John who mouthed him the words.
"And what's…Plan C?" Jenna asked rather nervously.
"I just pick you up and throw you over my shoulder in a Fireman's Carry," he grinned casually. "I have been trained, you know….part of our rescue technique….that right, John?" he added, to which John nodded furiously in agreement. "I can pick up a full grown man…so you shouldn't pose any problem, Jen," he continued with a cheeky laugh, while looking her up and down.
Jenna narrowed her eyes and glared at him. "You wouldn't dare…Gordon Cooper Tracy," she snapped, emphasising his full name.
"Now…I wonder who told you that like trick," Gordon commented, turning to look at his wide-eyed, innocent eldest brother who just shrugged his shoulder. Turning back to their 'kidnap victim' he grinned. "Wanna try me?" he challenged, as they proceeded to bundle her out the door.
"Just make sure he doesn't overdo it and tire himself to much," a voice called back. "AND MAKE SURE HE WEARS THAT ARM IMBOLIZER," the voice shouted from further down the hallway.
Scott and Virgil frowned and then winced at the unfamiliar sounds now coming from the hallway, followed by Gordon's voice.
"Well Johnny….looks like it's gonna be Plan C after all," Gordon was heard to say followed by John's agreement.
"You put me down…this minute…Gordon Cooper Tracy….do you hear me. And don't you dare find this funny either…John Glenn Tracy," an irate voice sounded, filling the air. "Scott! SCOTT CARPENTER, YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS," the voice shouted as it grew fainter.
"Gee Scott…sounds like you're for it now," Virgil remarked in mock sympathy.
Scott broke into a slow smile. "Yeah…sure sounds like it….doesn't it," he replied, though, as Virgil noted, he looked none too worried by the prospect.
And so began two very different days, one of hard, physical effort and pain and the other of gentle, peaceful pursuit.
Virgil and Alan took Scott to the gym, helping him do his warm up exercises before getting down to the serious business of strengthening his muscles. After taking a break for lunch their father joined them and together they helped Scott to his feet, where he went through the same painful procedure of walking as before and insisting he try some steps for himself. Scott could almost have laughed at the way his father, Virgil and Alan were fussing round him like clucking hens, their hands outstretched at the first sign of a wobble, if it wasn't for the pain he was in. Although trying to keep his mind on what he was doing, Scott found himself, time and time again, wondering how Jenna was enjoying her day and wishing with all his heart that he could have been the one who had taken her diving, to see the wonder and amazement on her face as she saw new things for the first time. He endeavoured that next time he would have the privilege of showing her. There were so many things he wanted to show her, places he wanted to take her, giving him the impetus to push himself to his limits, to dig deeper into his resources of courage as the pain and discomfort took hold. He had to admit, too, that even though it was only a day, he felt a pang of emptiness at her not being there with him, it felt strange after all the time they had spent together and he found himself, once more, looking towards the door, expecting her to come in. Shaking himself free of such selfish thoughts, he thought instead of when she would come back and with excitement and wonderment on her face tell him of all the things she had seen and what it felt like.
By the end of the painful session Scott was sweating and tired so after taking him to get showered off they helped him back to the infirmary and into bed to enjoy a much needed rest. Grandma came down and insisted she sat with her eldest grandson while he slept, allowing the rest to go about whatever other duties they needed to do. It was always made sure that Scott had someone with him at all times, in case he should suffer another debilitating headache or worse still, that he should suffer a relapse. He had to smile to himself, however, not at his father's fussing around his mother but at the fact she had just winked at him and patted her pocket, letting him know that when he woke they were in for another teaching session in the fine art of poker. Scott looked at his unsuspecting father and had to wonder if he was aware of his mother's little vice.
"Now Mother, are you going to be all right? ….and you let us know if Scott needs anything or if he gets a headache," Jeff flustered, wanting to make sure his mother could cope.
"Why Jefferson Tracy…you would think I didn't know how to look after my own grandson…been doing it for years. Now get away along with you, all of you…and besides, I've got my knitting to keep me company," she groused and then gave her son a sweet, little old lady smile, causing her grandsons to have to look the other way, lest they should laugh.
Scott settled down to sleep with thoughts of Jenna on his mind.
Standing in the pool, now, adorned in scuba gear, Jenna felt both guilty and excited. Guilty at feeling she was being self-indulgent, taking time to herself when she knew Scott was hard at work and in a degree of pain, her heart longing to comfort and encourage him and yet excited at the prospect of trying something she had only ever wondered about, never dreaming she would ever get the chance to do it. She had to admit, though, despite her excitement, she found it hard to concentrate, wondering what Scott was doing right at that moment, wondering whether they were coping without her and were they doing everything right. It was hard to totally relax and she found herself half expecting that at any moment she would get a call to say she was needed.
More times than enough Gordon had to smile as he tried to encourage her to relax and call her attention back to the instructions he was giving her but he was a very patient and understanding teacher. Even though they wore masks with built-in communication Gordon still insisted she learn the proper hand signals as a matter of safety, vital in the event of a communications breakdown. John had stayed too, to help out for when they went to the lagoon later and it was also a chance for him to catch up on his diving skills, as there wasn't a lot of opportunity to dive while in space. Jenna had proved a very willing and able student and by lunchtime had mastered enough technique to enable them to safely take her to the lagoon to show her the delights of the underwater world.
Lunch was served out by the pool, Gordon knowing if they went back indoors she was likely to go and see how Scott was getting on, defeating the purpose of the whole exercise.
"So…Scotty's in for it," he grinned cheekily, winking at John. "Whatdaya got in mind for him, Jen?"
"Yeah Jen…go on, tell us….you gonna make him suffer?" John added, as though they were going to take delight in the prospect. Eager faces peered at her as they leaned forward with elbows on the table.
Jenna had to laugh and shake her head in exasperation at their forthright nosiness. "I'm not going to tell you that….but I'll think of something, I'm sure," she smiled knowingly to herself, leaving them with their curiosity unsatisfied.
With the thrill of the afternoon still high Jenna couldn't wait to get back to tell Scott all about it over their evening meal. He smiled at her enthusiasm as she related the events of the day but when they had finished their meal she had noticed he was a little quieter.
"Jen…Dad's coming down this evening….he wants to talk," Scott informed her.
Jenna could tell that this was to be no idle chitchat, a way to pass the evening. "Don't worry. I'll find something to do and let you talk in private," she said understandingly with a gentle smile.
Scott reached out and took her hand. "No Jen. I want you here with me. I'm gonna tell Dad about us…and about what I've been thinking," he replied, smiling and giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.
