Different Worlds
Chapter 44 – "Saying Goodbye"
I spend that night in my husband's arms, his lips kissing me, his hands touching me and our son sleeping between us. I felt more love from him in that night than I had since we married. We did not need physical love to feel completely satisfied.
Fili comes for Kili before dawn, my arms not ready to let go yet. I walk with him to the stone bridge, Thorin determined to leave Rivendell. Arwen's words come back to me as I hold my husband tight. I pull back from him, tucking a strand of his hair behind his ear. "Kili, I need you to listen to me now and take my words to heart. Please do not go into Mirkwood forest. Thranduil himself has fled from those dark woods, the creatures there are of pure evil. Northern Mirkwood is more than a dark woods, more than a den of death, it is mystical and bewitched. One could easily find themselves taken by its magic. Please be careful my love. Of all places in Middle-earth I know the darkness of those woods the best."
Thorin calls from Kili and I hold to his hand tight. "I will do my best Ruunya but I will not make you that promise. I go where Thorin leads, I'm sorry love."
With one last kiss I release him, Arvandora doing the same with Fili. The two of us hold each other as we watch them walk back up the mountain pass, the Hobbit called Bilbo with them. I begin to wish I had taken the time to get to know this Hobbit that my dwarven family depends on.
Walking back up to the stone arbor overlooking the elven valley I see Galadriel talking with Gandalf and wonder why he did not travel with the dwarves. Leaving them to talk I got to tell Arvandora of my plans to travel to Mirkwood.
I find Arvandora with her parents, Vandara looking more than pleased to have her daughter home. "May I have a moment please?" I ask Vandara to share her daughter with me once more.
Vandara nods her head and I take Arvandora off with me. "Are your parents still upset you married Fili?"
"No, they are happy for me. I think father will always be upset I did not marry an elf but he says as long as Fili makes me happy then he will be happy for me. What has you in such dismay this morning?" Arvandora studies my face, giving me her concerned look.
"Arwen tells me I must travel to Mirkwood. I will leave by noon and I had hoped you would come with me. I am certain Haldir will accompany us again, are you with me my elven sister?" I watch a wave of distress cross her face causing me to fret.
"You will leave Rivendell when we just arrived? What of Kilan, would you dare take him into Mirkwood? Ruunya, please think about this." Her eyes give away her fears, her voice her worry.
"I will leave Kilan here with Arwen. I know he will be cared for till I return. I do not leave my child without reason Arvandora. Arwen would not tell me to go unless it were necessary. Will you go with me sister?" I take her hand, hoping to calm her fears.
"I cannot Ruunya, I am sorry." She drops her head as she begins to cry.
"That is your choice Arvandora and I respect that. If you will not go with me then can I ask that you keep Kilan for me? He knows you, will be more comfortable with you." Arvandora continues to cry her head shaking.
"I would be honored to keep Kilan for you but I must tell you why I cannot go. Two days ago I started having craving for meat, like you did and I woke up this morning and felt a flutter. I was not sure so I did not tell Fili. He does not need the distraction so I can only hope he returns before the baby is due. Being a midwife I should have known." She looks up into my eyes and I give her a large smile.
"Arvandora, you are going to have a baby. I am so happy for you and Fili. I can tell him if you wish. I hope to see them and keep them from entering Mirkwood." I hug Arvandora as we cry happy tears.
"I think Fili should know but only if he has completed his quest. Promise me Ruunya." I squeeze her hand and promise to keep her secret for now.
"Arvandora, please watch over my baby as I would. He is the most precious thing to me." As we hug I feel a soft hand on my back.
"Ruunya, a word before you leave." Galadriel stands behind me looking every bit the lady she is.
"Yes." I feel Arvandora's hand leave mine and my heart sinks. I knew I would be leaving my baby with her soon and I suddenly did not want to go.
"Arwen has spoken to you and it is this warning that leads you to Mirkwood forest. I have seen many things, felt the darkness around us but I give you this warning my elven flame. Do not seek the light where there is none. You will do best to walk with the light instead of in it." She strokes my hair, her tender eyes giving me hope.
"Do I leave my child in vain? I have to know that this before I leave him. Will I be reunited with my Kili, will this quest end well?" My heartache shows on my face as Galadriel takes me in her arms.
"Come with me child and I will show you something." Taking my hand she leads me down to the river.
Scooping up a hand full of water she blows on it then pours it into a still pond. "Galadriel, what do you mean to show me?"
"Look child and you will have your answer." I gaze into the rippling pond, the water glistening with a brilliant light.
Gazing at it I see a dark haired boy laughing and playing, a little blonde boy chasing him. They run to me and in my lap is a dark haired little girl with red tipped hair. I reach my hand out to touch it and the ripples carry the image away. Looking up to Galadriel I wipe the tears from my eyes but do not speak a word.
She walks back to my room with me, Arwen holding my sweet little boy. They spend a few moments with me, Kilan loving having them there. Haldir comes for me and I have to leave my baby with my family. I kiss him once more, Kilan clinging to me. "Mum…want Da."
I feel the heat of my tears burn my eyes as I hand him to Arvandora. "Mum knows sweetheart. I love you so much Kilan. Be a very good boy for Arvandora and Arwen. Mum will be back as fast as Belan can carry me." His tiny hand lies on my face and I have to hold back my scream.
"Mum…play." Haldir takes my hand and leads me from the room. I sob the entire way out of Rivendell. My heart was in two places, half in Rivendell and half on a mountain with Kili. I felt myself being ripped apart and hope that if I could not be with them again that death take me quickly.
