Part 3: My First Date

Emily and I were at our date, and as we were at the date, I started to almost forget all about what had happened at my father's house. I almost started to even think that I was just imagining how angry he was at me. I mean there was no way he could have hated me this much over just asking him a couple of questions. That was what I decided to tell myself in order to not believe in the idea that I had actually managed to piss off him so badly that I could have actually turned him against me.

It was the idea of having him turn against me that scared me so badly that I thought it would have ruined my entire perception of him. I thought that I would never have been able to really look at him the same way again if he had felt this way over something that in all reality was not really even my fault at all. But maybe it had been my fault. I was not really sure, and I was starting to second question myself a bit. I thought that as long as I didn't think too much about it, that I would be totally fine. That as long as I never brought it up to him ever again, that this would not bother him any more than it already had.

Besides, just being with Emily made me lose many of my silly fears no matter what. I felt like she was the one person who would have been able to place in at least a little bit of sanity left in me. I mean, I would not deny that running around and acting like the police were sort of out to get me didn't sound at least a little bit bonkers. In fact, it really did and if it was anybody else, I would have accused them of just being a part of a giant conspiracy and had it at that.

"Sheldon, you seem to be in a lost mind set right now." Emily said, doing her absolute best to make me not think about the fact that I was feeling like my parents might not have really cared all that much for me after all. That silly fear that even I could never really not be able to justify. I mean, it was one thing to hate on the police. There has been evidence of corrupt cops out there. But fucking hell. To accuse my father of actually be glad that I was taking these types of drugs. To even be thinking for a moment that he was a part of it just to hide away his fear of me finding something out. I think that was when it was much too safe to say that I was just being paranoid.

"I have just been thinking a lot about school lately. You know, what the finals will be like. I mean, I only really have a few days to get ready for those. And the fact that I have not is really starting to make me lose a little bit of hope." I said, feeling bad for lying about the family thing. But I was entirely telling the truth when it came to the matter of school. There was no way I could have lied about not being worried. I mean, I was half way through high school and still not too sure what my final grades would be.

"Well Sheldon, I think that you just need to go in there and give yourself a bit of a confidence boost. You need to not worry about what would happen if you fail. Just think about how proud of yourself that you would be if you passed. If you passed, then everything would be washed away. Think of it like that." Emily said and then I thought on it. I saw her point. She was being a optimist. I was being a realist. But then I held my hand forward.

"Want to help me out? You know, if you think that you could?" I asked, trying my best not to sound like I doubted her. But I needed to be extra sure that she knew what she was talking about before I even thought about dedicating to the idea. But if I could be able to get her help, then maybe I can be able to get even closer to her. To make it so that I can increase my chances of having her love me even further.

"I will see what I can do. I mean, we can meet up on Sunday. You know, after prom. Just study for a bit. And maybe try something else out in case you think that you need a break." Emily said and I knew what she meant. Even to me, a sixteen year old virgin, it was clear as day what she had meant. If this was the case, and she was even half way serious about it, I needed to take her up on her offer.

I was thinking very much in the mind set of my father, and as much as I would hate to admit that in the future, it was still true that sixteen year old me did think a bit that way.

"Yeah, I would love to do that. I think that it would be a lot of fun if we met up on Sunday." I said as I then placed my right hand under my chin. I was trying really hard not to look like an idiot while I was fawning over her. But I just enjoyed her company. I had a couple of classes with her, and she seemed to be get me excited when I would see her. "You know, I have never been asked to go to a girls house after school, after work, after a dance, anything. I have never had even the smallest hint of a chance where I can get people to consider me in that way. I think, no I know, that people just do not like me that way. I am just not good enough for anybody at the school. Every girl in this school is too good for me." I said as I wondered how my father and mother must have felt about me being like this. Probably very sad to see that their kid was nowhere near the social butterfly that they had to have been when they were in school.

"Have you considered that maybe you just haven't tried hard enough? Have you considered that maybe nobody has looked at you that way because you never even gave them the chance to? Or that you haven't put in the effort that they would like to see in a man, and that they would wish that you were just a bit more productive?" Emil asked and I felt awful for her saying this, and I felt like this was really getting to me now.

I then thought about it. I would have said that I tried before hand. I would have said that I did my absolute best. But then when I thought about it, the more I started to realize I had not really tried. I mean, aside from all the smoking and stuff, look at everything else. I barely had any friends. I barely ever talked with people. I barely ever did my school work. A lot of the time my room was at least in a little bit of a mess. I didn't really care all that much about my hygiene. I hated to admit it, but I was really not allowed to say that I tried.

And yet, I felt like even then there could have been at least one person who would have liked me. I thought at least one person would have been able to see my good traits. I had thought at least one person would find me appealing.

"I never really did try all that hard. I thought I did. I thought I was decent enough to say that I did. But I guess that I have not really." I said, finally coming to terms with the truth myself. I really looked at Emily and I thought about what she would be telling me. I was just as bad at reading faces as I was at putting in my best effort as I was starting to learn. But then Emily didn't say anything.

In fact, she seemed to want to avoid the subject. I could tell she was thinking that if she was what I scored on my no effort self, she thought about how low grade she would have been if I did try my best. How much I would have looked at her and totally dismissed her. I felt terrible for saying anything, and I wanted to slap myself for what I had just said. Hoping she would not take it the way that I had taken it.

"Emily, I'm really sorry. I'm sorry if I came off as an asshole. I didn't mean to come off that way." I said, and I was feeling such regret for saying something that I knew wasn't really even that big of a deal, but at the same time making me just feel like I really fucked up. I placed my hand on my face and was slowly waiting for the final strike to happen that would have Emily be telling me that this entire date was off.

Emily then looked at me and slowly forced a smile on her face. I could tell that she wasn't too happy about what I said. But I can also tell that she knew I didn't mean it in that context. "You probably weren't really thinking it all that well out. I can't stay angry at you for a small mistake that you make when you are talking with me." Emily said and then I took a long sigh and then I was trying to find a way to take the conversation I was almost certain would fall apart and die and try to rebound it a little bit to something that is at least tolerable.

"Well I guess I should have asked my dad for better advice before I headed off. I guess that I didn't plan this too well out." I said and then before I knew it, our food was placed on the table. I was tempted to get right into it. But I didn't want to come off as a slob, and I didn't want to take the first bite before Emily. Besides, despite the danger that I was in earlier and how I knew I needed to at least try and put that behind me and act like a normal person, I was just scared in a way to the point where I didn't even want to find myself eating something in the fear that I would throw it up.

"You look like you haven't slept in days. I don't get it. Did something happen to you?" Emily asked when she saw that I was starting to drift off again. I hated myself for having normal feelings and human emotions at that moment. I wished that I was just a fucking robot who didn't need to worry about expressions. You know, because a fucking robot doesn't have any of them.

"I just found out something about my family. I don't really want to go into big detail about it. Long story short is that something I thought was the case in my life, something I almost convinced myself was a true lie, was actually false. I fucked up my brain enough to make me believe that a lie I had been living all these years was the truth." I said, realizing that this so called short version wasn't even really all that short. Emily studied me for a bit as if trying to decide if she was wanting to make a conversation point all about my smoking habits or if she decided that she would rather spare me the fucking lecture this time around.

But she decided that while she didn't want to lecture me per se, she did want to find out if that was actually the reason that I had fucked up my brain. "Is it all the smoking you do? Or do you think that you just started to convince yourself of the more convenient truth?" Emily knew that I smoked. Everybody knew that I smoked at school. It wasn't anywhere close to a secret. I smoked probably half a pack a day before noon even took over and the other half by the time the day was over. I usually would smoke two to three in the ten minutes between each class at the direct outside of the school and then barely make it to class on time. Even the teachers have given up on making it so that at least I wasn't causing any trouble. After all, they did it too. My parents did it to sometimes. Everybody fucking did it. Everybody besides Emily and like three to four other girls. I think even Ashley had done it.

But nevertheless, I knew that Emily was trying her best to at least show some concern for me. So not showing any back for my general well being was something that even I couldn't stoop so low to. I then nodded. "I think it is related to that. I do it more than the usual person. Besides, I just feel so happy when I do it. It gives me a relaxing feeling. It also gives me an extremely short term boost in creativity. I know I feel like I want to throw up when I wake up in the morning. But honestly who fucking cares if Sheldon fucking Lee ended up dead? I'm not even all that popular to cause any real heart break if I died. So I just keep doing it." I said and then I could already feel my hand getting down to the pack I had in my pocket.

I really wanted one right now. No words would be able to possibly describe how much I wanted one. It was getting to me. It was eating at me. Sucking me in. But I knew that Emily would have said no. She hated the smell.

I could tell from the look on Emily's face that she was aware of what I was wanting to do. "Sheldon, I do care if something happened to you. Regardless of if you are popular or not, you are a human being. You are a person with feelings..." Emily said and then I coughed at that one. Which was a combination of the tar build up and me thinking she was full of it.

"My feelings are bullshit. I don't think a single person actually cares what my feelings are." I said and then I coughed again, this time feeling the urge to pull out some spit. But I didn't want it to get on my food. Emily kept her composure since I knew if she didn't, she could find a way to cry and show herself then.

"The point is... I don't want to see something happen to you. If you clearly know you're hurting yourself by doing this, there is no need to still keep doing it." Emily said and I shook my head. Maybe it was because she never did it. Maybe it was because she didn't get the feeling of excitement. The feeling of pleasure. The feeling of looking cool while you did it. But I did need it. I refused to fucking understand why she didn't get the fact that I needed it. I mean, she must have known other people who did it. Who needed it. Who couldn't handle themselves without the desire of a cig in their mouth at a constant basis.

"Emily, I hate to say it to you... But you are wrong. I do need it. This is not just a want thing. I don't even feel the need to want something. How can I want something when I am not even sure if I can tell myself from the real world? If I don't even know what the truth of the world is? No, it has nothing to do with wanting it. I just need it. And I need to take it. I need to have one sometime very soon. I promise you, I won't have one for the rest of the date. I won't even have one the entire prom. But when I am home again, and I feel like nobody cares, I will go into it. I don't even care what my parents think. Fuck what my parents think. They clearly don't care about me. They never even told me the truth about anything." I said and I was still mad over Riley, but thinking about it there were other things to.

I felt like my father was lying to me about his job. I felt like my mother was a terrible parent for never seeing me and always coming in home late, basically making me an independent teenager. I felt like I needed to know if Riley was dead or if that was just the news story. I felt like I needed to know why we moved to this town anyways. I felt like I needed more answers than I have, and that was not happening because I always just get questions.

"Sheldon, you clearly are struggling with something. I am not going to claim that I know you too well... But I know that look. I know that feeling. Do you think you could trust me?" Emily asked, and then I was silent for a bit.

"Maybe soon enough, I will feel fine with telling you. But right now, we are in a date. Let's just go back to normal conversation. Let's just keep talking. Let's just forget about the fact that we were even getting into this type of debate at all." I said, feeling and hoping that this can end the subject. It did... But only for the rest of the date.

"When Emily finally decided that she would let the subject go for the time being, I finally decided to ask her a much more simple question that would probably be what a real date should be asking and not talking about their smoking life. "So Emily, have you ever been to prom before?" I asked, hoping that she had. That way if I sucked, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. But then I was thinking about what it would be like if she hasn't gone before. That way if I sucked, then she would have no real standards to compare to and if I sucked, then the whole heart break of it wouldn't really be as bad as it would have been if she had. Either way, i was setting myself up for an answer I would hate.

"I did not o to prom before. I have however been to homecoming once. I also went to both of the winter balls so far." Emily said and I winced realizing that she had gone to three of the five dances that we had before this sixth one. I knew that while she never went to prom, that I need need to increase my standards a bit. I then thought of the next question that seemed like a simple ask.

"Have you ever been on a date for any one of those three?" I asked, and I was hoping that I was going to be able to be even half as good as those other guys that she has gone out with. If that was the case, then I would feel a little bit better about the situation. "I went to the first homecoming. Didn't have a date. Got lucky enough to have a dance with one girl. Just fucking one. But that was it. Nobody else even fucking looked at me." I said and then I looked down at the food. I could not out it off any longer.

"This years winter ball, I got a date. But not the other two so far. Well that's not true. Homecoming I did have a date, but he didn't show up. Got sick last minute. What a fucking prep. But the other one, the first winter ball, I didn't get one because I felt no real desire to have one. But this year, I would have gone in stag if you didn't catch me just a mere two days before the dance happened." Emily said and I shook my head as I finally took a bite out of my meal.

"Fuck, I have no idea how you don't have more people lining up and wanting to date you. I honestly think you are like the nicest person that I know who goes to this school. I feel like you should be having more people lining up to date you. But that is my opinion." I said, hoping that I didn't sound like a weirdo as I was saying this. I didn't want to come off as somebody who seemed to be a little bit obsessed with her or anything like that. I was just trying to be nice to her.

"Well, probably because I am always hanging out with my friends. I do a decent amount of school. Not enough to come off as one of those star students. Not even close to being one. But I just feel like it's better to be ahead of the game. You know, when you do stuff like this, then you don't really ever have the time to go out there and date guys. They are always too busy going out to try and get the other girls in the school. Then they start to forget me. That isn't to say that nobody has seen me." Emily said as she shot me a super quick look. I didn't need to be a rocket scientist to figure that one out right there.

"I don't think there is a single girl out there who looks at either me or my friend. I mean, maybe a couple think that Dakota is pretty chill. But that is probably the furthest that it goes with one of us. And I certainly don't think that anybody thinks that I am anything beyond just sort of chill." I said, and then I thought about the people who might like Dakota. There have to have been a couple of people out there. I mean, Dakota was actually almost a good guy. At least compared to how I was.

"I would be amazed if anybody likes Dakota like that. I mean, he is really not all that popular. I mean, I guess he might be more popular than you... No offense." Emily started and then I jabbed in a very quick 'none taken' and then she continued. "But he doesn't really have that much of a likable personality. At least in my opinion. You might not be popular... But you do at the very least have a likable personality." Emily said as I contemplated excessive laughter at that one.

But to avoid coming off as one of those assholes that she said I was not, I decided to keep my mouth shut. "And besides, I would not be surprised if Dakota has gotten in trouble with the law yet. I mean, if he has he has done a decent job covering it up. But I don't really think that he is somebody who never got in trouble before." Emily said and I wondered how he must have.

Before I could even ask, I would tell that once again Emily was reading my mind. "Well, I think that maybe the police have found his drugs in his car. I wouldn't be shocked if they were wanting him to at least clean it up and not sell it to people. I mean I don't know if he has sold any to you at all. But I feel like he must have sold some to people in the school. I mean, that can explain why so much of it has spread around in a short amount of time."

I thought about it and then I shook my head. I didn't think that she could have been too far off. But Dakota didn't really have that personality. "I just don't think he could be a pitch person. I think that might be a bit out of his ball park. Just in my personal opinion. I mean, if he was five or ten years older, I could maybe see it working. But not the sixteen year old version of him." I laughed, thinking that it was fine to just have a couple of basic disagreements on here.

"I just want to find a way to justify everything going on here. I mean, think about it. Everything here just seems so fake. As if it was put together in a certain way to make people not really question the town all that much." Emily said as she raised both of her hands forward. I could see from the way she was contorting her face that she clearly wanted something for me to say that would support her statement. But I just couldn't figure something out.

"I mean, I guess there is a lot of lies and a bit of pure and simple deception going on. But I don't really think it goes far beyond that. I don't really think that there is any grand underlying plot here. I think that to suggest such a thing would indeed be a little bit silly." I said, and then in hindsight I was the one who was feeling a little bit silly. Like I was the one who needed at least some form of a reality dose. "But seriously. This town is a great place. Even though I have been forced to think about some not so great things about the town lately, I still think the town itself is great." I said, still trying to convince myself of this, but thinking that I needed to stop being subjective to my own beliefs and objective to the facts.

"I mean, I can see why you like it so much. But I don't know. I guess that I am just getting paranoid. You know? Paranoia just comes and goes with time here. Some days I feel like I need to watch out for my life. Then other days I feel like I am totally fine and that I over reacted." Emily said and I wondered if she was just having personal problems or if this could be justified. I just wasn't really all that sure.

"I think it is just better to take it one step at a time. Don't worry about school. Don't worry about a year from now. You are at a date. I am enjoying myself. Let's just continue to enjoy ourselves at this wonderful time." I said, and then I was wondering who I was trying to convince more out of the two of us.

I then saw that Emily was doing her best to keep herself calm like I had said that she should. I could tell that even though she was doing her best to remain calm and collected as I had instructed her to do so, that it was still a bit hard for her to do. That she was still not fully convinced that she was going to be able to take it as easy as I was saying that she should. She still felt like she was playing with fate a little bit. But then she looked at my fingers tapping each other quietly and then she nodded as if she was going to play calm for my sake.

"Yeah, there won't really be anything too bad that will happen at prom. I mean, prom is considered to be the most special day of the year. It really must have stuck out to the people who went there before us if they love it as much as they said they did. If it made it worth even getting people excited for at all. I mean, as long as we are in it together, I will enjoy my time there with you." Emily told me as I had really wished she had not said that. As if she was now raising my standards even higher than I had wanted her to raise them, and that there was no fucking way I could meet them.

But I knew that she was wanting something out of this. That she was wanting some form of belief that I am going to pull through with making this the best night of her life. If anything, she was going to make it the best night of my life. Not the other fucking way around. But I knew that since I was the man of the relationship, that I was not allowed to back down. That I needed to be up for her challenge. That I needed to accept whatever was coming at me. Even if I was certain I was to fail.

"I think that when I told my father about the fact that I was going to prom with a date, that he got super into the idea. I think both he and I were afraid that I was never going to get one with anybody in my entire time of high school. So the prospect of me getting something going for me at all was able to get him up there in excitement. I just don't know why he would really care so much if his kid not really you know a player or something like that. I mean, I wouldn't really assume that this was his business." I said, and I knew that I was lying to myself even then. This was his business. I was his child. He was my father. He probably wanted me to be the biggest playboy in the world.

"I think that he just wants you to be like him. That way he can feel like there is a certain level of dominance that comes along with you and him. Something that he feels like he 'did right' during his time raising you. I think he was just thinking that if you were not like him, he would be thinking that the apple fell from the tree type of ordeal. He probably thought that you were starting to turn into a bigger disappointment with each passing year." Emily said and I nodded, not wanting to admit the faults of my father but slowly I was feeling like I couldn't be able to deny them.

"Sort of wondering what the hell happened to me to make me inferior to him. He probably feels like I am inferior. Getting one date by the end of tenth grade is probably bad compared to him. He probably had his first date by like fifth grade." I was pondering out loud, just utterly curious to know if he and my mother met in high school or later.

Despite the fact that he was my father, I wasn't really all that sure about him as a person. I was also not sure if he just tells me stuff to make me feel like he is this great freedom fighter. You know, if he has been lying about his life to me all along. I mean, I never really got that impression from him. But it was something that I did sadly had to consider.

"I think that he probably would want to look at you as an actual heir. Somebody who would be just like him. Somebody who he can see and feel like he can be proud of. If you get into several relationships, and sort of pick up the player life style, then you will probably be seen as a success in his eyes. He would probably look at you and think that he did raise you correctly after all." Emily said and I was not wanting to continue with my fathers mind set.

"I just don't care what my father says. He isn't even fucking me anymore. He is nothing like me. Why would I suddenly be so worried about what he says? It honestly is none of my fucking business. I just think that if he hates me so much because I didn't pick up his life style or something like that, then he needs to understand that not everybody is like him. That not everybody follows his way of living. I think that I shouldn't even care." I said and then I raised my hands up in defeat. As if trying to get him to like me should have never even been a debate. I am sure my father likes me. I feel as if he did. I just think that he didn't like one small aspect of me. If he didn't like that aspect of me, then I just can work harder. If he doesn't care, then I got myself riled up over nothing.

Emily was looking at me as if she was trying to decide what she was thinking about my personal out bursts right now. She was thinking that they were a bit sudden. But despite thinking that they were rather sudden and a bit strange, she was thinking that maybe if she was in my position, that maybe there was a certain level of validity to it all.

"Sheldon, are you sure that you want to talk any more right now? Are you really in the mood to keep going?" Emily asked and I was just not really sure what to answer. What answer would actually be the truth. I was thinking that there would be no answer I could give her that didn't seem like there would be something else to it. Something that I was lying to myself about. I did want to talk to her more casually. But I didn't want to if it had meant that I was going to be forced to think about my failures even more.

I then was thinking about the more honest answer. "I do want to talk. I just don't know if I am in the right mindset to be talking about that type of stuff. If you were wanting to talk more about that, then I am sorry. I guess that maybe I am not really as ready for this as I thought I would have been. I guess I should have not asked you out at all." I said, as I started to get up and then Emily called out to me. I stopped when she did so, and then I looked directly at her as if to try and see what she was going to try and say to make me feel better.

"This is your first time. You just have a lot that you are thinking about. There is nothing wrong with you being uncertain. Don't feel bad for being uncertain. Just think about what you do know. Think about what you do have. Then start to work from there." Emily said and then she looked down at the food that we were supposed to eat, but had not really been getting into this whole time. She felt like this could have been really bad customer service. But she decided not to say anything.

"Come on, I can drive you home. Let's just take a break. Just relax. I don't blame you for how you are right now." Emily said and I felt glad that she was being this way. But I didn't really want to feel like a burden. I felt like that was all I was being right now. A massive fucking burden that she was dealing with.

Emily and I went to my car and she got inside first. I took out a cigarette and smoked it to help calm me down a bit. Once I got inside the car and started it up, I was already feeling much better than I had by that point. I felt like I was more able to take on the fucking world. I felt like I would be able to deliver a better conversation with Emily.

That was one thing that smoking did for me. It made me feel like I was way more confident than I actually was. That was indeed one of the best things about doing it for me. The fact that when I had placed the dart in my mouth, that I actually felt like I was doing something that I was actually feeling like was totally in my power. As we were driving, I was saying to Emily "So Emily, even though the date didn't go super well, I do appreciate having your company. I do think that we should do this more often. Maybe if you enjoy prom, and I enjoy it as well, we can go out on another date?"

I didn't know why just smoking a bunch of cigarettes increased my confidence in the way that it did, but the thing had worked me wonders. When I saw Emily looking right at me, I could tell that she was able to see that I was being genuine. "Yeah, I think that you and me going on another date will be fine. As long as we actually still enjoy prom together that is. Don't want to force something that we end up not really enjoying at all." Emily said, and I was glad that we were able to agree not to force something that we both felt like had a decent chance at failing. It wasn't set to fail, and I wouldn't act like that was the case. But it did always have a chance to fail no matter what I would want to say.

"If it was any other person to be there on my first date, they probably would not have been nearly as forgiving of what was going on with me as you were. I am glad that you were able to understand me. I am glad that you were able to see the better side of what I was trying to aim for... I just wanted to really get to you. But I could tell that I had failed on even that most basic function..." I said, and I wanted to beat myself up for the failure that I set myself up for. But Emily was giving me that 'don't you start on that yet' look.

"I get that you didn't give me the best first time in the world, and that you were no Romeo. I think we can all agree and accept that. But don't get angry at yourself for actually expressing the way you truly feel about a situation. I don't want you to lie to me. I would rather have a truth that is hard to deal with than an all-out lie. At least when you were telling me how you had felt about things, you were able to actually express yourself as a person with emotions. A person who wanted to actually express himself to the girl that he was talking with at that very moment." Emily said and I could not understand how she understood so well.

"Either way, I do promise that next time, if there even is a next time, that I will be much more behaved." I said, and I was not really even sure if I was right or not when I had said that. But I was trying to make a decent promise to her. One that I felt like I had a small chance of actually going through with.

"Well Sheldon, either way, you were able to provide me for something better than I would have been given if I just stayed home all day. At least you gave me something that I could indeed consider and actually put into mind. You did something that I think was a good thing for that very reason. I think that if my parents meet you, they might actually get why I think you deserve a chance." Emily said and her actually saying that I deserved a chance made me feel much better. But I knew that she was probably lying to me.

"Thanks for trying to make me feel better. I really appreciate it." I said and then afterwards Emily placed her hands on mine and then she said something that I thought in a million years of my life she would never say.

"Sheldon, don't worry about your smoking habits. I mean, I don't like it all that much. But I do fully admit that it is none of my business. That it is something that I don't really need to get all that involved with. If you think that it is doing favors for you, then go ahead and continue doing it. Just make sure you don't spend too much money on it. The money is the only thing that worries me about your choices." Emily said and then I thought about the money. I was aware that it was not a good use of my money. But it was my money. It was my life choice. In the end, if I wanted to spend my money on cigarettes, then I should be allowed to do so.

Emily then left me alone. As she was walking back to her house, I was thinking more and more about the conversation that we were having. I was thinking about the stuff that we could do to actually further our bond. I was thinking about how I could get her to love me even further. But I thought that it wasn't all that big of a priority at that moment. I took out my next cigarette and then I started to smoke it.

I stayed at the front yard for another two minutes or so. Just long enough to finish the cigarette, and then I flicked it out the window when I was done and then I started to drive off again. I was thinking about what to tell my parents when I got home. Well, mostly what to tell my father since I really highly doubted that my mother was going to be there. I would later be proven to be wrong when I came back home and I walked right inside of the house.

I looked forward and saw that my mother was sitting down on the couch. I could clearly tell that she was waiting for me. I could clearly tell that she wanted to know something. I was annoyed. Annoyed that she had not really been there at all, and now that I had one date she was suddenly going to act like she was the most invested person in the world in my life. "How did the date go Sheldon? Your father told me that you were going to be heading to prom soon. I wanted to see how prepared you actually were for the dance."

"Well, the date actually went pretty okay. I mean, there were a few things that we talked about that I did have no desire to discuss. However, you know, that being said, I think that she actually liked me enough to want to see me again. I think that prom is going to be a success. I think that prom will be the thing that I needed in my life right now. Something that will make me feel like I actually did something good in my high school career. It sounds silly I know. But I don't really have too much of a clue I guess." I said and then after I said that, my mother stood up and walked closer to me. As she was walking closer to me, I could tell that I was going to have to calculate the next steps a bit better.

"I don't want you going and fucking this up now Sheldon. You are finally starting to be a normal man. You actually are becoming like a real teenager. This is something I am proud of. Something I want from my son. Don't fuck it up because you are getting in your fathers business on Riley and his business about the labyrinth. End your fucking petty ass investigation, and go back to dating girls. Go back to just being a normal guy. I am not going to be nearly as forgiving as your father if you continue these investigations." My mother said and I could tell that she was telling the truth.

"Yes mother. If you really want me to get out of your business about this, I will try my best to..." I said, and I was not really sure what to believe. I could not really understand why she was being like this to my own fucking mother.

"Because trust me, there will be more things that I can do to you than a simple little fucking lecture. I can make your life miserable shall you choose to get into things that are none of your fucking business." I heard my mother say as I went inside of my room and slammed the door shut. I took off my dress clothes and was only in my underwear as I went to bed and put the blanket over my body and tried to be at least relatively warm while I slept.