Hey there readers! A bit late, I know. Not much happening on my side to speak of really. Hope you guys are doing okay. I have a HUGE! Block right now, it's unbelievable! Seriously, for more than a week I just stared at the screen with my mind completely blank. I just hope you can't tell hehe! AND‼ my allergies crept up on me so suddenly and it's the runny nose, sneezy kind that's just so annoying with the headache ugh!
Excuse any errors and formatting issues and R&R‼!
Chapter 54: Selfless Selfishness
o
Sasuke was not nervous.
He was not that excited either, to be honest.
It was two days before the Jounin exam and Sasuke was currently sparring with his loud best friend, Naruto in the public training grounds.
The question had been brought up many times of whether or not he was anxious about the exams and he just shrugged, saying it was not worth the big fuss everyone else was making.
It was just a test to evaluate what abilities the shinobi had and to decide whether or not they would be ready to move up in the ranks or not.
Sasuke knew he had talent and that he had trained and done enough to definitely become a Jounin hands down.
Period.
But was he one of the few in all Konoha who thought that?
Naruto was going crazy about it all, wanting the days to go faster. Every day, the blond screamed Sasuke's ears to bits with his excitement to the point where Sasuke wanted to just have the exam over with so Naruto would shut up.
At least he got a break from the madness at home, seeing as Hinata was nervous but she was not yelling it to the whole village constantly or crying hysterically.
Neither was she going out looking for an outfit to wear to the exams or any of the things he was told by Naruto.
Instead, his fiancée was just basically relaxing, not training as hard as she usually would and just went to the Hyuuga compound for a couple hours. When she went to train, it didn't last all night.
Sasuke noticed she used her Byakugan regularly and but nonstop as she did before, giving her eyes a little break before the exams started and for that, he was glad. Hinata often woke him up in the middle of the night screaming from migraines when she had been training her eyes.
The brunet was brought from his thoughts when he narrowly blocked a hit from Naruto.
"Hey!" Naruto said. "Stop daydreaming!"
Sasuke snorted and delivered a blow extra hard in spitefulness, knocking Naruto to one of the surrounding trees. The blond attached himself to the trunk before springing back towards him, a hand sign quickly summoning shadow clones.
The spar went on long after that, neither wanting to stop. Both looked at these little spars as great practice. That, and neither wanted to lose.
Shortly after that, some others came to the training grounds, which the two friends welcomed.
Everyone sparred and trained, Sasuke fighting against Kiba, Sakura, and Neji.
o
By the time evening came around, Sasuke was a little more than tired.
He left the training grounds with everyone else to go home, only to realize he had once again forgotten his keys.
Why did this happen so often?
Thankfully, Hinata had not left for her training yet and so the door was unlocked.
He found Hinata in the kitchen, just finishing her dinner.
"What time are you going training today?" asked Sasuke, knowing she would usually leave earlier than now.
"I'm leaving soon," Hinata replied, as she got up to set the table for Sasuke. "Training is not very long today and until the exams come that's how it will be so I won't put strain on myself."
Sasuke helped Hinata by getting a glass and pouring the juice.
He then left to go have a bath and went back downstairs to eat.
Seeing as Hinata had already eaten, never accustomed to him eating with her, she was washing what she had used.
Sasuke watched his fiancée as she seemed to glide around the kitchen, putting things away. She was so different from the girl he'd originally fallen in love with.
Hinata was no longer shy even when he'd gone after her, but his fiancé spoke more eloquently now. Her once rounded and exaggerated curves now subtle but very much still noticeable, drawing more attention that he liked. The girl he once knew was a strong woman.
"I'm going now," Hinata told him and came to peck him on the lips before heading out the room and shortly after he heard the door shut and her chakra disappear.
Sasuke still did not know where Hinata went off to to train and the curiosity wanted to kill him every time she left to go wherever it was.
Whatever. He knew she was the type to feel conscious about certain things and maybe she felt more comfortable training alone.
Sasuke got up and cleaned the table, afterward going to the living room where he watched some TV for a while.
Before he knew what was going on, Sasuke was sleeping on the couch, the TV watching him instead.
Hinata loved the exercises Itachi had her do in preparation for the Jounin exams now.
They loosened her limbs and muscles, making her feel very agile and alert.
Hinata was stretching now, bent over to touch the grassy ground beneath her and, looking through her slightly legs, she saw Itachi looking away as though deep in thought.
She found Itachi to be doing that a lot lately and wondered what he had on his mind. Whatever it was, she was sure it had something to do with his blond-haired partner, Deidara.
Hinata avoided asking about Deidara, since she had not seen him as regularly as she was used to, because Itachi would then give her the silent treatment.
Maybe they were arguing over something important, Hinata didn't know, but it was definitely something serious for it to distract Itachi the way it was.
Hinata slowly came up from her bent position to reach above her head and repeated it as well as other stretches several times before Itachi stopped her, leading her to the river not too far away.
Itachi stripped down to his Capri, leaving his chest bare and Hinata did the same, stripping to her shorts and bandages.
Of course, Hinata blushed madly whenever they did this as she was not used to exposing her body and seeing Itachi so bare but Itachi always seemed a little flustered, not wanting to look her way.
They both placed their clothes aside before walking to the water, going to the center on the surface.
Hinata loved to train in the water as it was in her element and made her feel light and buoyant.
Itachi was helping her touch up on her balance, chakra control, and breathing.
"Down," he said.
Hinata let go of the chakra that surrounded her feet and began to sink. When the water was calf-high, Itachi gave another order.
"Up."
Returning chakra to the soles of her feet, Hinata pushed until she was coming back up smoothly to stand on the water once more. She went through this repeatedly, going lower each time until the water was above her head and she could barely hear when Itachi gave the okay to surface again.
Next, Hinata practiced holding her breath under water. Even though Hinata was pretty much a water baby, holding her breath was something that she has wanted to become better at.
Lately though, she was able to hold her breath for a good five or so minutes, even six when she pushed hard enough and that was great.
"Training is over for the night," said Itachi. "You did well."
Hinata smiled. "Arigatou."
Both left the water and dressed again, making their way to the familiar clearing. They sat there in the grass for a while, not saying anything until Itachi broke the silence.
"Are you feeling uneasy about the exams?" he asked her.
Hinata was surprised that the man had asked such a question and frowned a little before answering. "Hai."
"What about?" he asked.
"I guess I'm kinda afraid I'll somehow make a fool of myself and just prove my father right," said Hinata sadly. "And I don't want to let you, or anyone else who believed in me enough to help me, down."
"You could never disappoint me if you do your best," Itachi told her. "And every else who loves you will feel the same."
Hinata blushed, realizing Itachi had subtly said he loved her and saw the color faintly rise in his face as well.
The man cleared his throat, looking away. "If you are confident in your abilities everything will run smoothly," Itachi then said.
"Were you nervous when you had to take the Jounin exams?" Hinata asked Itachi.
The man instantly answered. "Iie."
"Why not?" Hinata asked him.
"I experienced what war involved around age four and had seen almost everything there was to see," said Itachi. "Before I knew it, rather than being Genin, I was past Jounin level and on to ANBU at age thirteen. I was never one to feel uneasy about examinations because I knew the dangers of the shinobi world."
That sounded very similar to what Sasuke said. Her fiancé always said it made no sense being afraid of what was going to happen in the exams because you knew what you were capable of and after the exams, the real work began.
That, and he experienced death, deceit, and everything that came with being a shinobi at an early age.
It was not like Hinata did not know as well, having been kidnapped and nearly taken away for her eyes when she was younger and being drilled everyday about what her role was before she could even read.
"I understand," Hinata said.
"Good, so don't get worried to the point where it will get it the way of you performing well," said Itachi.
With that, Itachi stood and Hinata did the same, dusting her damp Capri off. She shivered at the cold wind that blew through her slightly dripping hair.
"I guess I better get back home now," Hinata said. Before she darted away, Itachi stopped her.
"Would you like me to take you home?" he asked.
Hinata gave the male a nod, boldly reaching to take his hand in hers and they both leapt into the trees in the direction of her home.
The two stopped by the trees nearby and Hinata turned to Itachi. "Can you please tell Deidara I asked how he's doing?" said Hinata.
She saw how Itachi barely stiffened at the words and frowned.
"I don't know what's going on between you and Deidara but I can see it is something major," Hinata ventured. "Won't you tell me?"
"This is not a matter I can discuss right now because it is something even I don't fully understand yet," said Itachi.
Hinata bit her lip, feeling left out and Itachi must have noticed it because he then said, "I don't want to keep it from you, but it's a matter Deidara and I have to sort out first."
"Is there something I can do to help?" Hinata offered.
"You should not be worrying about anything right now," Itachi told her. "Just focus on the exams."
Hinata nodded in understanding even though she really wanted to know what was going on between her two friends.
"Just tell Deidara I miss having him around," Hinata told Itachi, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "See you tomorrow."
Itachi wished Hinata a good night as well as sweet dreams and was gone in a poof of smoke before Hinata could wish him the same.
The girl then made her way home, finding the all of the lights were off. She wondered if Sasuke had gone out but found him sleeping soundly on the couch in the living room, the TV on casting shadows.
She smiled at how peaceful her fiancé looked and decided to leave him there, going upstairs to have a bath and then went to their bedroom to get two pillows and a blanket.
Hinata then went downstairs and placed the pillows beneath Sasuke's head and scooted next to him, pulling the covers over them both.
Sasuke stretched and yawned, his eyes opening to gaze at Hinata before he smiled and put his arm around her. Kissing her forehead, Sasuke then drifted off to sleep once more which encouraged her to slip into a peaceful slumber as well.
Itachi went back to the inn to see Deidara waiting for him with his arms crossed at his chest.
"You told Hina about us, yeah?" the blond asked.
"There is nothing to tell her," Itachi replied, going into the bathroom; Deidara followed him.
"What do you mean?" Deidara said angrily. "Have the past couple of days been nothing to you? I know we're not in a relationship or anything but don't you think you should tell Hinata?"
"Iie," Itachi said. He went behind the shower curtain and then stripped, turning the shower on.
"Did you tell her your feelings for her then?" Deidara asked, his voice raised to be heard over the water running.
"I don't want to complicate anything right now for her," Itachi said. "I don't want Hinata thinking about anything other than the exam."
"Hmm I guess so," Deidara agreed. "I supposed we can wait until the end of the exam to tell her."
After that, Itachi thought he would have been able to just have a bath in peace when Deidara spoke again.
"What training did you do tonight?"
Itachi explained to him what he'd done for the night.
"That's really good, yeah," the blond told Itachi while he wrapped his towel around his waist after drying off.
Deidara followed him outside and watched as Itachi took out something to put on, bashfully turning his face when Itachi dropped the towel to pull on some pants.
"How do you think Hina will do in the Jounin exams hmm?" Deidara asked.
"I think she will do fine," Itachi answered.
Itachi got his brush and sat at the edge of the bed, giving Deidara the item as he knew the blond would want to brush his hair anyway.
Deidara silently groomed Itachi's hair and put it in a ponytail, then massaged the brunet's shoulders as he'd been known to do now and Itachi let him.
"Hina is really strong," said Deidara, more to himself as though he'd been thinking about it during the time he'd been quiet. "She's going to kick everyone's butt, yeah!"
Again, both were quiet as they settled in for bed, Deidara scooting close to Itachi, until the blond spoke. "What about Sasuke?"
Itachi was surprised at the question Deidara had asked.
He thought for a while about it as he stared up at the familiar patterns of the stains on the ceiling.
Itachi felt a little guilty for not thinking about his younger brother other than to rue the fact that he was happily engaged to the girl he loved.
Was he really that bad of a brother?
Itachi care for Sasuke very deeply and protected him with everything he had, wanting him to become a stronger person despite what he'd been practically forced to put the younger Uchiha through. Yet, he'd been so caught up with his own selfishness, he'd neglected Sasuke.
Itachi knew his brother was strong but did not know what Sasuke's real capabilities were.
Of course Sasuke would pass the Jounin exams, even though Itachi was not fully informed of his strength, but Itachi did not want his Otouto to struggle; he wanted him to be one of the best if not on top.
"Sasuke will also do well," Itachi answered.
"What were you thinking about?" Deidara asked him.
"I am a selfish person," Itachi said.
Deidara turned to him, leaning on an elbow. "You most definitely are, yeah," said Deidara with a laugh.
Itachi glared his way, but it softened at the expression Deidara gave him.
"Demo… Itachi, everyone is selfish one way or another, in my opinion," the blond told him. "The thing about you is you think about everyone else and all the consequences of taking what you want before doing so and if it's going to hurt someone you love, you reconsider or find a way to get what you want and still not harm them."
Itachi was amazed at the fact that Deidara always leaped over his expectations of him.
Deidara laced his fingers with Itachi's. "From going on various missions you never kill anyone or maim them to the point of not recovering unless you have to. How many S class missing nin do that, hmm?
"You love Hina so much to the point where you brought her back home and then came back to Konoha as well, risking being caught to see her," Deidara continued. "You care for Sasuke enough to ignore those feelings you have for her because you know he loves her too and you don't want to take that happiness from him.
"You are the most selfless selfish person I know, yeah," Deidara finished with a chuckle.
Itachi looked up at the blue orbs staring down at him with such tenderness and gave him a small smile to which Deidara positively beamed at him.
"Arigatou," Itachi said softly.
He sat up, kissed Deidara soundly before getting out of his bed, and went to get clothes, quickly throwing them on.
"Where are you going?" Deidara asked, a little dazed by Itachi's affections.
Itachi was now putting on his sandals. "I'll be back soon," he said as he disappeared.
o
Darting through the village, Itachi found himself outside his brother's home.
Now that he was here, Itachi wondered if what he was about to do would do more harm than the good he hoped to bring and hesitated for a mere second before masking his chakra heavily and entering the house.
Itachi crept in the shadows, blending perfectly, as invisible as can be.
Not a sound was made as Itachi stealthily walked into the living room, about to go up to the bedroom, but instead he saw a sight that made his heart clench painfully.
There on the couch, Sasuke was sleeping but that was not the factor that hurt. Hinata was curled up cozily with him, his arms around her in an embrace, hers around his waist as they slept.
The two looked so content to be in the arms of the other; so complete.
Itachi stared at his brother and Hinata, wondering if that was what true peace and happiness felt like. He wanted that; to feel so comfortable around the other it would feel and look as though they were one.
Sighing softly, Itachi approached them both and crouched to their level.
He gazed at Hinata's profile first, admiring the way her lashes fluttered, lips slightly parted with quiet breaths. Caressing her cheek softly, he smiled desolately; Itachi would never be rid of his love for his hime.
Turning his head, he looked at his little brother. He cared for the younger Uchiha so much and regretted he was never able to show it properly.
Making up his mind, Itachi held out his hand and touched two chakra-coated fingers to Sasuke's forehead.
"Gomen," whispered Itachi. "I was not the perfect Aniki you had craved for long ago…demo, I hope to be even if I have to protect and help you from the shadows."
With that, Itachi stood and gracefully maneuvered around the furniture and back to the front door to exit.
So I decided to end this here as I didn't want to start the Jounin exams in this chapter. It's so amazing how you start a chapter with a block that seems as though it would cripple you and when you arrive near the end, all the ideas come flooding into your mind.
So as I said, the next chapter will involve the beginning of the Jounin exams. I'm still not one hundred percent sure of what will happen exactly but I have a couple of ideas that will hopefully be fruitful and multiply lol! It was too late to reread the night before last as I was dead tire. Even more, I tried to update before twelve and it's around twenty minutes after that so I updated today basically. Sorry for making you guys wait, even if it was a couple minutes longer.
If you have not read A Happy Ending, Hinata the Vamp, or Following the Sun, please do.
Until next update…
Ja ne!
Please review, I love it when you do!
